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Saturday Nov 10: This is hilarious. It’s reached a point where I suspect these Everton players might actually just be laughing at us now, as there’s no way this is legit. This is Yerry Mina in the Telegraph today… “The truth is Professor Marco spoke to me every day, telling me to come to England”. PROFESSOR MARCO!!! Hahahaha fucking hell. It gets better. “I was always focused on Everton. Any talk with Manchester United was just to my agent,” said Mina. “I have always been aware of English football – Manchester United, Manchester City, Everton, Tottenham.” Haha good job there with the notable omission, that’ll play well with the Bitters. There’s more. “But Everton has always been an important club for me, honestly. I watched them when back in the day when Fellaini was playing here.” Ok just stop right there, what do you take us for? There isn’t a person in the world who follows a team just because Fellaini is in it, not even Fellaini’s mum, so I’m calling bullshit on this. I hear he also said something about how he loved watching Aaron Lennon too but that never made it into the article. Understandable really, imagine interviewing someone and they’re coming out with such outlandish shit that you’re wondering “is he having a laugh at my expense here?”. Sunday Nov 11: L 2 Fulham 0 Fairly straightforward. We played ok, nothing more, but it was enough. Fulham gave a better account of themselves than most teams who come to Anfield and at least they weren’t scared to cross the halfway line. They should have gone in front but Sessegnon fluffed his lines, and when he missed that any hope Fulham had of getting something disappeared. Mo looked really sharp and took his goal well. Great counter attack that, just like last season that was. There’s no finer sight in football than a Reds quick break, I fucking love it. More of this please. I was really shocked to see that Fulham were 25/1 to win today. Those kind of odds are usually reserved for San Marino or the Faroes playing Germany or something, but apparently this is becoming more and more common now as the gap grows between the haves and the have nots. Red Star were 22/1 to beat us last week. 22/1 to win a home game in the Champions League?!?! Mental. That’s the kind of price I’d expect if we got a non-league side in the FA Cup. Monday Nov 12: Sturridge is in hot water. Initial reports are sketchy but it seems he is in breach of the FA’s gambling policy. Maybe he took that 22/1 on Red Star last week? It’d certainly explain that fucking sitter he ballooned. Seriously though, I bet (no pun intended) this is a storm in a teacup. Sturridge is not going to be betting on games or anything like that. I highly doubt he’d be ‘betting’ at all. There’s some talk that it relates to people weighing in on his loan move to West Brom and that he must have ‘leaked’ it. Hold on a fucking minute. He’s entitled to tell whoever the fuck he likes if he’s moving clubs. If bookies want to offer odds on shit like that, then it’s on them if they get stung. What an absolute joke. “Sorry Daniel, you can’t tell your friends and family you’re moving back home to the Midlands because it’s not fair on the bookies”. Get the fuck outta here. Bookies will offer odds on any old shit so if they get caught out once in a while by someone with a bit of inside info, so what. They’ll survive. Let’s not forget that half the shit we see peddled on SSN about players moving clubs is solely to get people to throw some dosh on SKyBet. If this FA charge is indeed based on Studge telling people he’s moving clubs, he should fight it all the way. Tuesday Nov 13: I read this morning that Joe Cole announced his retirement today, and I had to check to make sure I hadn’t time travelled back to 2010. He’s only retiring now? When was the last time you even heard his name? Where’s he been, who has he been playing for? Also today, I saw a tweet from Marcotti saying Barca’s wage bill is 44% higher than United’s, and 62% higher than City’s. Hmmm. Firstly I’m not buying it that United’s wage bill is that much bigger than City’s (I know they vastly overpay shite like Pogba and Sanchez, but still), but the real take away here is that Barcelona need a new accountant, because no fucking way are they paying anything like what City are. Wednesday Nov 14: More revelations about City. Turns out they paid £51m to sign Tevez back in the day. That money all went direct to the company that owned him (basically it all went to Joorabchian as it was his company) and Tevez was being paid £210k a week. Football is a fucking horrible dirty business these days. Just a chance for leeches to get rich for doing fuck all. I mean look at this shit today with that Scudamore prick. The PL have asked all of the clubs to donate 250k to get him a leaving present!! Honestly, that might actually be the most shocking football story I’ve ever heard. Someone actually thought that was an appropriate thing to do? Imagine being a chief exec of a PL club and opening your inbox and finding that email. I’d be looking for the mention of a Nigerian Prince, as it reeks of scam. Meanwhile, Harry Kewell is sacked by Notts County. We still haven’t seen the best of him. Fulham also sacked their manager today and immediately appointed Ranieri. One of his first moves is apparently to try and sign Matip. Let’s face it, Fulham’s defence needs urgent attention and Matip is a good player, but we can’t be letting him go mid-season as we might need him. Next summer though, let Big Bird go and bring in that Dutch kid De Ligt. Virgil loves him and he’s meant to be a massive prospect, so get it done. Sorry Joel. Thursday Nov 15: There’s been some talk recently of a new deal for Robertson. He’s got three and a half years left but it’s standard club policy to give new contracts when a player has outperformed his contract, and Robbo has certainly done that. Whatever he’s being paid isn’t nearly what he’s worth. James Pearce reckons the club have no intention of doing anything though as he has so long left on his current deal. I feel like it’s taking advantage of the fact that Robbo won’t be arsed about it and will be happy with what he has. Put it this way, if he was a superstar foreign striker and not a humble Scottish left back they’d be following him round with a contract and a pen begging him to sign. Not that it seems to be working with Mané like. He's defo off I reckon. I'm not even arsed, when he goes I'd bet good money that Klopp will find someone better. Ok, here’s something that’s pissed me off for ages and I’m finally going to say something. The word ‘bromance’. It’s shit but it’s being used more and more. I hate it. People can’t be mates any more without some cunt calling it a ‘bromance’. As an example, Lovren and Mo are big mates, but any time there’s some sort of interaction between them I see some shitty news article or some tool on social media referring to their ‘bromance’. Just fuck off. Speaking of Lovren though, Modric was asked about the criticism Big Dejan levelled at Ramos last week, and he said this: "Ramos is a great player and a great captain. In my opinion, all the criticism he has received is irrelevant. In football everyone has a very short memory. He has character and I am sure that criticism does not matter to him." Did he just call Lovren “irrelevant”? I think he did you know. No bromance going on there thats for sure. Trent scored tonight in Wayne Rooney's testimon... what, it was an actual real international fixture? Why was Rooney playing then? No-one seems to know but there's lots of wailing about it. Don't see the harm in it myself, other nations would do this for their top players and they were only playing America. They could have brought Bobby Charlton on and still won. He was probably outside flogging tickets though. Friday Nov 16: Not much going on really other than internationals. This caught my eye today from Southgate though: “Last night they were watching TV with a picture of Danny Welbeck by the side of it” Is he sure they weren’t just watching Red Dwarf? Yeeeeooowwwwwwww. The most notable thing today though is Big Dejan and his epic rant on Instagram after Croatia’s win over Spain last night. So when I first saw this I didn’t know how to react. I felt as though I probably should be frowning upon it, as it’s not really becoming of a Liverpool player to act like that. Generally the Liverpool Way has been to do all the talking on the pitch, they don’t do this type of thing, never have done. On the other hand though, Ramos is a cunt and Lovren is sticking it to him in a way that none of us can. So on reflection, I feel as though this might be one of the greatest things I’ve ever seen. I mean think about it, Lovren elbowed him in the head, called him a pussy and taunted him over the result. What’s not to love? All we can do is insult him on Twitter, so thanks Dejan for living our dream. That was the week that was….

Damn, I really put the mockers on Bournemouth the other week didn’t I? Since I hyped them up they’ve lost both games to teams they probably should be beating. Complacency cost them at home to United last week, and this week they lost to hapless Newcastle. Rondon got both of Newcastle’s goals while Lerma pulled one back for Bournemouth. Ibe was given his first start of the season and he should have equalised but blasted his shot over the bar from close range. He does my head in you know. He should be so much better than he is but his finishing is just terrible. If he fixed that he’d be really good as he’s got a lot of other things going for him. Alternatively, he could just sign for Man City and score 20 back post tap ins a season and fool people into thinking he’s suddenly become a good finisher. Well why not? It worked for his big bro Raheem. Massive win for Newcastle but I feel as though Rondon is wasted in English football. He’s a good player but as long as he’s here he’s destined to be used as a lone battering ram in shite, defensive sides, forever locked in relegation battles. In another country he could play for a side contending for titles, but because of his style of play and willingness to scrap and fight, defensive managers are drawn to him like flies to cowpats. Poor Rondon’s lot in life is to plough a lone furrow, run the channels, battling manfully to hold the ball up against two defenders. Occasionally he’ll have the odd scrap to feed off, usually from a set-piece, but for the most part there’s no joy in what he does so I just hope he’s well paid for it. Spurs were fortunate again this weekend, avoiding a trip to Wilfried Palace and instead coming up against the utterly abject bunch that is left when Zaha isn't there to carry them. No Zaha means no points, we all know that. At this stage there seems to be little point even playing the match other than for goal difference purposes. Palace had plenty of chances but their record without Zaha speaks volumes. They're the very definition of a one man team. Spurs were crap but got the points. They've done that even more than us this year. At least we've had a few decent showings. Foyth got the only goal of the game. No, I have no idea who he is either. I saw Kane on twitter this week boasting about shooting his first under par round of golf. He posted a video of himself holing the final putt on 18. What he didn’t show was Hugo Loris booming all the drives and Eriksen stiffing all the approach shots for him to tap in putts from six feet. Seriously though, how do we know he shot under par? We only have his word for it and we know he’s a lying cunt. That putt could have been for a 93 for all we know. And I bet he didn’t make it at the first attempt either. Prick. I saw this mischievous tweet from ESPN this week about Sol Bamba and big Virg. Where’s the stat for Bamba getting caught under the ball, losing his man and allowing Lewis Dunk to head Brighton in front last weekend? You can manipulate stats to show whatever the hell you like. I feel bad for Bamba because the Van Dijk comparison does him no favours. I like him, he’s a good defender and Cardiff are lucky to have him. Comparing him to the best defender in the world is silly though. Cardiff equalised through Paterson, who has done alright as a makeshift striker. He’s scoring more than the likes of Benteke and Sanchez anyway. Brighton were reduced to ten men when Stephens was red carded for an over the ball tackle, and Bamba made up for his error at the other end by scoring the winner from close range after his overhead kick had come back off the post. He was offside initially so he got away with that, and he got away with taking his shirt off after scoring too. He said afterwards the ref asked him ‘did you take your shirt off?’ and he told him he didn’t. Premier League refs, best in the world…. There was a Cardiff fan with a wig and fake tash pretending to be Vincent Tan, the club’s owner. The seat next to him was empty, no doubt because his missus didn't want to be seen with him. Imagine getting ready to go the match and going, “actually luv hold on, I’m just gonna stick on a pair of glasses and a grey wig and go as John Henry today. Get your red dress out and you can be Linda”. Whopper. Elsewhere, Leicester dominated at home to Burnley but couldn’t find a way past Joe Hart and the game ended goalless. About time Burnley had a Burnley type score, but on another day they’d have lost handily. Southampton got rid of Les Reed this week but kept Mark Hughes. Laughable that. Getting rid of the guy who keeps signing players who are sold on for massive profits, while somehow managing to replace them with players who are also then sold on for massive profits. He was the best thing they had going for them. My boy Gabbiadini put them ahead and then my other boy Charlie Austin thought he’d made it 2-0 but it was ruled out in farcical circumstances when the linesman thought Yoshida had gotten a touch on the shot while in an offside position. He was nowhere near it. Just a staggeringly shit decision and Austin and Southampton were left fuming. It was a shocker, but then they’d gotten away with a clear penalty earlier when Bertrand scythed down a Watford player. Not that Useless saw it that way of course, the whiny bastard. “It’s not good enough. All we want is for the key match defining moments to be given correctly”. Like the penalty you mean? Which would have been a second yellow for Bertrand by the way. He was a fucking cry baby as a player and he’s an even bigger cry baby as a manager. I quite like Southampton, but fuck Mark Hughes. Charlie Austin’s post match rant was epic though. First class stuff that. Alex Pritchard became the first Huddersfield player to score at home since April when he fired in from 20 yards against West Ham. Anderson equalised with a brilliant finish and although both sides could have won it late, it ended 1-1. Not really much use to either of them that. Onto Sunday now. Arsenal have reverted back to being Arsenal again. That long winning run came to an end and since then they keep drawing. There’s a defeat coming in the post for them soon too, I can smell it. Their next game is Bournemouth away. They look ripe for the picking, but it depends if the hoodoo I put on Eddie Howe’s boys is lifted in time for that game. Arsenal will then go on a six game win streak which will have everyone saying they're back, before they throw in another couple of clunkers. It's what they do. They were lucky to even get a point at home to Wolves, who were comfortably the better side. They went ahead after a howler from Xhaka. Cavaliero picked the ball up and exchanged passes with Jiminez before finishing past Leno. If the Wolves fans don't have a chant for him based on the Simpsons "Canyonero" song then they don't deserve to ever see their team win again. Arsenal were wide open on the break again. They always are. That’s why I was disappointed with how we played against them. Wolves' front three exploited the space far better than ours did. Arsenal equalised late on with a fluke from Mkhitaryan. Traore should have won it deep into stoppage time but Leno denied him. Then that Morgan-Gibbs kid I mentioned last week almost hit a spectacular winner but his brilliant curler came back off the inside of the post. Arsenal have Leno to thank for he point because Wolves deserved to win. They defended superbly (Coady was great) and posed a huge threat on the break. Good side. Have Wolves changed their kit mid-season? This was a proper Wolves kit, with the gold shirts rather than the yellow ones I was complaining about back in August. Maybe it's my TV that's the problem? Everton did us a favour by taking two points off Chelsea at Stamford Bridge. Jorginho should have been sent off for a terrible lunge on Sigurdsson. He got away with only a yellow card because Kevin Friend fucking loves Chelsea. I’ve been telling you that for years. Everton wanted a penalty too when the ball hit Rudiger on the arm. Even I wouldn’t have given a pen for that so there’s no way Friend was giving it. The draw was just about fair, although Chelsea had the better of the chances. The Manc derby saw United arrive at the Etihad quivering in their collectively stupid coloured boots. I don’t care who you are, if you just sit back against City and hope to keep them out, you’ll fail. I don’t know how many times managers need to see it, but the only chance you have is to have a go at them and expose a defence that isn’t actually very good when put under pressure. You’d think Mourinho of all people would know this, having seen his side come from 2-0 down to win 3-2 last season after they had to throw caution to the wind. That’s the only chance you have against City, but predictably he tried to park the bus, and as the magnificent Mark Goldbridge ranted “you can’t park a bus when it’s got no bloody wheels”. City’s third goal came with four minutes to go and United only a goal behind. They put together 44 passes before Aguero’s finish. You’re losing 2-1 with a few minutes left and you’re standing off letting the other team put 44 passes together without even attempting to press them and put a tackle in. Fucking shameful. And De Gea can fuck off too, the teen wolf looking cunt. Every time he plays us he’s sensational, but look at the fucking state of him in this game. Prick. United now have a negative goal difference. What have I always said about goal difference being the real measure of a team? The points can often be deceiving, but the goal difference never lies. They’re shite. That's it for this week then and there's no round up next week because of the internationals, which is great for me as I'm still completely up the wall since the house move. We've had to get a full rewire done so the place has been like a building site. We had most of our furniture in a storage unit but we emptied it this week so at least we have a bed and a sofa now. Actually that reminds me of something that happened this week that I may as well share. My Dad was helping me empty the storage unit and as we're putting stuff in the car, there was another family also moving stuff. The Grandma was stood by the exit looking after a little baby in a pram, and my Dad walks past carrying a big mirror. He stops, puts it down in front of this woman and says "I don't know why I'm having to take this. I've told him to dump it. I mean look at it, isn't that the ugliest picture you've ever seen?" Now he's never met this woman before and has no idea if she can take a joke, or if she'd even get it for that matter. I'm stood there thinking "oh fucking hell, not again", but thankfully she saw the funny side, as did her husband who heard the exchange from around the corner and said to her "don't you be looking straight into that, you'll break it". Old scouse fellas just don't give a fuck do they?