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This Man City love in on here is making me feel ill. They've spent absurd amounts of money and bought some of the best players in every position and one of the better managers in football, it's no wonder they're where they are. I just wish they'd fuck off.

Apparently he’d been betting heavily on aRdja mentioning his goal return compared to Firmino’s every day for 3 years. They’re gonna throw the book at him.

City's owners effectively pressed the cheat button in that they've sewn every facet of football and everything linked to football right up on the premise that everything is for sale in one way or another and therefore if you chuck enough money at it eventually you get your way. I read in the football leaks that part of their FFP dodge was basically saying to UEFA "we can afford more high-priced lawyers than you can and we'll just keep throwing money at them on a point of principle rather than climb down and follow your rules or even comprimise" - eventually Infantino and his ilk can't be arsed standing up for pricniples any longer (or more realistically get enough scraps in their trough) and the whole thing goes away. This boot on the face of footballing history juggernaut that's emerging under Saint fucking Pep, Protector of the Spirit of the Game and Shiny Headed Lord of Football is the end game of it. It's pretty obvious that they're trying to equate Manchester City with Brand Abu Dhabi: if there was a way they could have paid to establish a PL team called Abu Dhabi FC that could be absorbed into the PL with no sniggering in the back then they would have done; there wasn't so they've done the next best thing and appropriated a no-mark club and claimed all the subsequent success: everyone knows that City were a tinpot club until they came along so it's accepted that this is their success (if they'd have bought us or Manchester United that would be a more difficult distinction to make). They're going to make sure they're hyper successful and spare no expense in the process in a vainglorious attempt to show the world just how superior Abu Dhabi is (and stop looking at the backgrounds of the individuals involved). It's why their fans are the most sterile set of rivalry-hunters in the country: they're desperate for some sort of relevance given that they know they've witnessed a white-collar hijacking of their football club, and no amount of uber-manc stadium announcers and glossy PR about Phil fucking Foden and his glittering future in a sky blue shirt is going to change it.

Partly for this thread? Definitely. I've been travelling for the past few weeks, and kept running into variations of the full English, examples of which I've posted in the thread. So I decided to see what a first-class restaurant would do with it, and post the results here.

He in jail now.

They've left Lord Lester's first name out of that article. Is it Mo?

You missed out the bit about how they deliberately broke all the financial rules which were supposed to stop sides doing exactly what they've done.

Birds have a tremendous ability to 'swap' fitness as they get older. I've seen some stunners who were proper hounds back in the day, and former homecoming Queens who look like Bella Emberg.

The toast was a side. It cost 5 USD. Five dollars for two slices of bread. I almost laughed out loud. I never go to expensive restaurants, but it was my last day away and I figured I'd splurge, just to see what a Michelin-starred restaurant would do with the full English. It was excellent.

Cheese and onion > salt and vinegar

There can be no higher praise

I actually agree with a fair chunk of that. I’m as left wing as I have ever been, I’m as socially liberal as I’ve ever been, and I’m as egalitarian as I ever have been. But these last few years there has been this bizarre bastardisation of these values, starting with the US university campus driven hilarity. It’s hard not to want to push back against it.

She’s beat you in a fight, hasn’t she? Done.

Spare a thought for the ugly ones too.

Rumours are floating around that he’ll be eating a pie on the bench next time we’re at home.

Can’t believe there are heroes on this forum who get to have sex with real-life adult females.

We've been gambling on his fitness for years

Hadn't realised you'd transitioned, Mark.

I think we need to see a documentary of your eating habits, perhaps hosted by Louis Theroux

When you watch vids like that, or hear about Australians getting their dicks bitten off by blue ringed octopuses or some shit, it makes you glad you were born in England, where the very worst thing that ever happens is someone doesn't replace the handwash in the gent's bogs.

This one's from "The Breslin" in Manhattan. No beans. Not even an option on the menu. It was delicious. The toast was a little under-done, but the jam more than made up for it. Everything else was perfect. 30 USD, all in.

I’m not concerned about the long sleep as such, mate. See the post I quoted. My illness tends to keep me from getting enough (or any) solid sleep as a rule and it’s something I’d just gotten used to over this last couple of years. Heck, if it’s all of a sudden possible for me to sleep for 11-12 hours regularly I’ll embrace it and start heading up to bed straight after my tea! What I’m wondering is if these last few days are a sign of something about to flare up. If it does, I’ll end up with a beard again and nobody wants to see that.

Saturday Nov 3: Arsenal 1 L 1 Any time you avoid defeat at any of the ‘big six’ clubs you’ve done alright. Wins are fantastic but the onus is more on the home side to win these games, so a point away is never a bad thing, particularly when that opponent has been on a great run and is in good form. It’s weird then that so many of us were left disappointed, some with the result, some with the performance and some with both. It’s partly because City are so relentless that anything other than a win feels like it will prove costly, but for me personally it’s not so much the result that disappointed me, it was more how we played. Arsenal aren’t the wide open mess they have been in recent seasons by any means (they were decent I thought), but the way they play still seems tailor made for us to exploit. They leave space behind the full backs and they defend high up the pitch. I expect us to murder teams who play like that so when it doesn’t happen it’s frustrating. We had plenty of chances but most of them fell to Van Dijk and he didn’t take any of them. Milner took the one that came his way, but where were the front three? It’s doing my head in now, I keep expecting them to play like they did last season but it’s not happening. The defence were great and I didn’t have any real complaint about the Arsenal goal as it was just brilliant finishing from Lacazette. Fair play to him. Of course we were a little unlucky with Sadio’s ‘offside’ goal that was ruled out. Apparently that was onside, which shows you just how completely fucking stupid the law is these days. Bit galling that Cardiff’s goal last week stood but this one didn’t. Really don’t know why they over complicated offside, as it was fine as it was. Some pretty shocking clickbaiting after this from the Star and Express though. “Klopp aims dig at Van Dijk after Arsenal draw” said the Star, while the Express went even lower with “Klopp slams Van Dijk after Arsenal horror show - “I’d have scored three”. The actual quote was “I saw Virgil van Dijk after the game and he said ‘I should have had a hat-trick.’ I was not a good football player but I was good at heading and today I would have scored three.” Hardly slamming him is it? Twats. Sunday Nov 4: Chelsea and City both won but nothing could spoil my mood today. You may have seen it on twitter, but I’ll put a little meat on the bones of it here. My daughter, Adrianna, started playing footy four or five years ago and she’s been in defence since day one. Chris Kirkland coached the team for a while and he did try to get her to play in midfield and even up front, but it was a short lived experiment as the opposing half was like Kryptonite to her. She’s only interested in defending (which will stagger anyone who has ever played with me). There was one tournament they were in where everyone else in the squad had scored, including the keeper, and they were just hammering everyone. They were 5-0 up in the final so I told her to go up front and get a goal, and she shot me down, saying “no, we haven’t let a goal in all day and clean sheets mean more to me than goals”. I almost demanded a DNA test after that. How can any kid of mine think like that?? So anyway, a couple of years ago I told her I’d give her 50 quid if she scored. The problem was she didn’t want to go up for corners and leave the team light at the back, so she always stayed back. I told her to just get one of the other girls to stay back but she wouldn’t do it, until two weeks ago when she decided she was going up there. She went up for every corner that day but none cleared the near post (like watching the Reds a couple of years ago). Today though, the second corner of the day landed right in the middle of the six yard box where I’d told her to stand. Most of the girls in there just watched it (hardly anyone wants to head the ball in these games) but Adrianna is fearless and will stick her head on anything. She nodded it goalwards, over the keeper (who was taller than me) and it looped into the top corner. I had to do a double take, and so did she. It was only when all her mates went mad that she realised it had gone in. She comes running towards me and I’m thinking she’s gonna just do a Lallana with Klopp and jump into my arms, but as she reaches me she starts doing this: I just grabbed her and we shared a big hug, it was a really special moment that I’ll never forget. Cost me fifty quid but I’ve never been happier handing money over than I was today. They won 3-1, with one of her mates scoring the other two. She was on a pound a goal bonus and as she came off I told her “you need a better agent”. So yeah, I’ll worry about Man City another day, the pricks. This is just a teaser, click here to view the full article Please note that 'The Week that Was' is only available to TLW website subscribers. Subscriptions cost just £2 a month (you need to register first, registration is FREE) and can be purchased here.

No but Texas once supported my old band. It still kind of irks me that it's Texas that are off, you know, making all the money, and they're rubbish compared with me.

Sharleen Spiteri would be ok if she wasn't a moany faced Weegie cow who sang for one of the blandest piles of shite in the history of music.

Majestic player. It's a shame that his management career never took of, because if ever was someone supposed to be Liverpool manager it was Barnes. Talented, articulated, good looking, telegenic, smart as fuck, loyal and radiates class.

True, though it does help having a centre of gravity lower than a snake's belly.

Dave Kirby has hacked his twatter account by looks of it

So what you’re saying is that, PSG aside, we’ve got to play a bunch of middling teams that we’re a) better than; b) have much stronger squads than; and c) have spent a fortune more than, but it’s tough because we’re away from home for 3 out of 4 matches. fucking hell, just play the games and beat them.

Usyk probably has a Ukrainian supermodel girlfriend who he goes home and bangs every night while they go home and have fat mingers who wear EFC training gear.

Good shout that on Robbo, Dave. He’s fucking phenomenal. Love his attitude most though. You can see the effect of signing on at 18. He’s grateful for every fucking second on the pitch.

Well in pal -- no question a couple of your entries will make the 11.50 to be Called a Cunt hardcopy.

Sturridge365 In play betting: Under/over 2.5 sprints per game. Under/over 2.5 hamstring grabs per game. Under/over 10.5 sulky looks towards the bench Under/over 12.5 dirty looks towards team mates who don't pass the ball onto his bootlaces. Will he walk past Klopp when substituted without acknowledging him. Yes/No Choose what part of the body will be fucked first Knee - 2/1 Hamstring 5/1 Hip 7/1 Toe 8/1 Groin 10/ Minge 12/1 Random lesser known muscle injury picked up on previous England duty 16/1

Sorry I’ve been in a rate review with my customer for 8 hours and just got home. Give me 5

My old school class had a reunion recently & there was an article in the local paper back home. My Dad's cut it out & sent it up to me, the bastard. This bird who I thought was like Marilyn Monroe when I was 12 & who I had my first snog with was there & she has not aged well at all (she'll be 40 now), I really wish I could un-see it. Another bird who I had a mad crush on later on at school also turned up & she's a swamp donkey now as well, devastating stuff.

Texas were the backing band for my other half’s album recording done a couple of years ago. In Glasgow. Not really your sort of music though Mook.

Maroulis? I preferred the Celery Bad Boy.

At the risk of outing myself as an even bigger weirdo, Liz Hurley does little for me. I find her a strangely depressing sight, an ageing celebrity who's forgone any aspirations to be more than her shell. At least young women who've fallen into the same trap of excessive vanity have bizarre dreams of winning an Oscar or running their own fashion line or something; all Liz Hurley is now is the human embodiment of the pride that her tits aren't at her knees like other women her age. Once that's gone, she'll sit broken in a room like Miss Havisham, spending her days staring at old social media posts of her own norks. Give me Sharleen Spiteri any day. Liz Hurley's turning into a poundland Sophia Loren, but without the personality, and that was always half the sex appeal of those old broads anyway.

Get your fucking hedge cut.

I think its for the horses. I agree, load of old arse and faux look at me bollocks. But, a load of beautiful horses did die over there. I guess they deserve a minute. If you have ever spent a moment with a horse you would agree.

Interview Klopp gave to the Big Issue. https://www.bigissuenorth.com/features/2018/10/jurgen-klopp-peoples-vote/ Jürgen Klopp: the people’s vote Jürgen Klopp has engaged not only Liverpool fans but the wider British public since he arrived at Anfield It was on an otherwise drab early October day in 2015 when Jürgen Klopp’s wise-cracking, bear-hugging, fist-pumping brand of football management was introduced to the English public. Since that memorable press conference, confirming Klopp as the new coach of slumbering Premier League giants Liverpool FC, the German’s full-throttle approach to the job and life in general has generated an unparalleled measure of goodwill. Few who encounter him, in person, in TV interviews, or pitchside in a maniacal, celebratory charge along the touchline, fail to be charmed. The club’s supporters, of course, but also neutrals, the media, people who don’t like football, fellow managers, even rival fans – “Hate Liverpool. Love Jürgen Klopp” is a common Twitter refrain. And all without him winning a thing in 36 months. Not that he hasn’t come close. The man tasked with restoring Liverpool’s place at the top of English football has fought and lost three finals with them already, including May’s Champions League encounter with Real Madrid. They followed defeats in three finals with previous club Borussia Dortmund, a statistic he good-naturedly beats himself with. Despite those reverses, the German’s exploits with Mainz, taking them to a history-making promotion, and with Dortmund, briefly knocking Bundesliga rich kids Bayern Munich off their pedestal, assured his legend at home. His participation in the global enterprise that is the Premier League ramped it up again. The plane carrying Klopp from Dortmund to Liverpool to succeed sacked manager Brendan Rogers was tracked by 35,000 people. Yet the man touted as a sporting messiah and future German president longs to be anonymous. At that first press conference, Klopp was reminded of Manchester United boss Jose “I am the special one” Mourinho’s famous pronouncement on first coming to England. “I am the normal one,” Klopp countered. A good line, but he meant it too, the irony being that “The Normal One” became an instantly marketable slogan with which to further build his profile. “You should live my life for a day,” he says now, downing coffee between commitments at Liverpool’s famous old Anfield stadium, three years this week since touching UK soil. He’s not complaining. Other than walks on the beach close to home on the Sefton coast with wife Ulla and their dog, “a collie mix”, and occasional pub lunches, “I cannot go out much; my face is not made for that, but that’s no problem – I’m used to it.” However, he adds, recalling the amiable mobbing he received in trying to reach the stage at a meet-the-fans event: “I don’t want to be the person they all want to touch. I’m a really normal guy. I don’t walk through there and make like this…” He raises his arms in the manner of a boxing champion milking his triumph. For a man who’s claimed he can’t act, he’s got a heck of a range. Herein lies the Klopp paradox. He wants to be treated like anyone else, but it is his very ordinariness, his dislike of show and guff, his liking for smoking and drinking and plain speaking and plates of sausage and chips, that people like. When he left Dortmund, Klopp recorded a message to the crowd at his last game because, biographer Raphael Honigstein says, he did not trust himself not to break down. According to former striker Norbert Dickel: “75,000 people were crying.” How does Klopp explain this bond with supporters? “I have no idea. But the thing is, I believe in relationships. I really think if you spend a lot of time with people and don’t create a relationship, life is a complete waste of time. “In different things it’s family, it’s friends, it’s people you work with, and, in this case, one hundred per cent of course, the fans. But I never go out there and say ‘look, I am this or that’ and ‘please like me’. It’s about respecting them.” Of his time in England, he says: “I love living here. It’s a wonderful country and everyone knows if the weather was better the whole world would make a holiday here.” As a foreign guest, he says he tries to keep out of UK politics, but with little prompting brings up the subject of anti-immigrant feeling in Germany. “It’s always when things change in a way you don’t like, you don’t have a job, then you immediately have to blame somebody. That happens here, that happens in my country.” Typical of Klopp’s mindset is his attitude towards the far right AfD party’s 13 per cent polling in the last German election. “Everybody thought, wow, what a big number. I took it really positively – 87 per cent didn’t vote for them. I can live with that. And I think it’s a bit similar here.” Local journalists in Mainz are said to have scoffed when veteran defender Klopp, with no coaching experience and no qualifications, was appointed as their manager to his and everybody else’s surprise. Seventeen years on, Klopp says he shared none of those doubts. “It was never a problem for me to lead a group. I never thought about it. On Sunday I was a player, on Monday I was a coach.” You sense the natural born leader the moment he enters the room. The photographer assures him it will take only a few minutes. “No,” Klopp corrects him. “A few seconds.” He’s joking. And he’s not. Klopp’s will to succeed occasionally gets the better of him. Honigstein tells how, as a player, he screamed in the face of a team-mate for half a minute for conceding a corner. As a manager, he holds the record for fines in German football. That zeal was nurtured by a father, Norbert, who, Klopp says, “was an unbelievable talent in sports. He learned the backhand of Stefan Edberg watching television – exactly the same backhand. “He was not the most patient person so when I wasn’t as good as he wanted, it was quite uncomfortable. He was a natural coach, a hard one, rather a drill sergeant.” A regular Sunday training routine, when Klopp was “five or six, on the football ground in my home village”, involved racing his father from the touchline to the halfway line. “If your father’s not in a wheelchair you have no chance, but he didn’t give a little bit. He was ‘voop!’ and I was: ‘Why are we doing this?’ And we did it until I beat him.” How long did that take? “Six years. Only six years.” He laughs heartily. “One of my biggest strengths as a player was speed. He made me a quick player. He educated me every day.” Since arriving in England, journalists have made hay with his willingness to answer honestly everything put to him, despite his reluctance to be drawn into politics – Brexit (“it makes no sense”), the UK’s need for foodbanks (“beyond belief”), you name it. “We can talk about anything,” he assures me, but is said to feel uncomfortable sounding off on subjects like austerity given his own extreme affluence. He’s known hardship – playing for a struggling German second division side, with a wife and young child, sometimes unsure he would be paid – and he gets the importance of their team to the many fans at the wrong end of the financial scale, wherever in the world they may be. Do clubs now regard fans as merely consumers? “No. I’m sure it feels like that sometimes but it’s so difficult to do it the right way for everybody because people want us to spend money in England. “It’s completely different to Germany. In Germany, you get a player who’s transfer free, you get a lot of praise. In England it’s like – no money, no interest.” A man of the left, Klopp is sympathetic to complaints about high ticket prices and welcomed the decision by club owners Fenway to withdraw a proposed increase after a mass fan protest in 2016. But he is also pragmatic. “If you say, come on, let them all get in for £1, it’s difficult. We have to earn money so we can spend it. I don’t think the situation is perfect but I don’t think it’s getting a lot worse.” He understands, too, the frustration of fans feeling alienated by the clubs they support. “Social media makes it difficult to get close to the fans. Twenty years ago, a famous player could live the life of the people. If you saw a player out, and next day you told somebody, they would say: ‘Yeah, nice story.’ “Now we need to be a bit isolated because the world doesn’t give us the opportunity to go outside. We try to change it. We do what we can to come closer [to fans].” To that end a friendly with Italian side Torino at Anfield in August was declared “the people’s game” by Klopp, with events in nearby Stanley Park, players interacting with fans and, post-match, the manager making the day of many an excited child attending their first game. “It was nice and we will do that again and again and again.” Klopp took flak for seemingly criticising the £100 million signing of Paul Pogba to Manchester United two years ago, then overseeing a spending spree by Liverpool this summer. He says he was misunderstood, insisting now: “If money decides alone about success then I’m out, and that’s the truth. The only thing is, when everybody is able to spend, we have to, because it’s my job to make the team successful.” Liverpool’s owners will continue to spend, no doubt, but the manager says funds are not unlimited. “The first day everything was on the table. The owners said: ‘Whatever you need you can have.’ But it was always clear we have to do it step by step. We are not owned by a country,” he says, perhaps with a certain other Manchester club in mind. Klopp is contracted to Liverpool until 2022 and the expectation among fans, media and the club’s owners is that trophies will come. What words might Norbert have for his son were he around? “He was always proud when I played for Mainz and I was not a good player. Unfortunately he died the year before I became a manager but I’m Christian and believe he now has the best position in the world to watch it all. “I know he is very proud, but if he was still alive we would have a few discussions, probably about my beard. And probably after the [Champions League] final he would not have found the right words – he would have told me why we lost it, so not too cool probably. “Oh, he was a fantastic lad and he loved me to bits. I know that. But he would have told me: ‘Don’t lose six finals in a row.’”

I was a bit torn during the fight if i’m being totally honest. Half of me wanted Bellew to get KO’d by a left hook (just like he did) and the other half wanted him to get sparked out by an uppercut.

If anyone is ever in the beautiful seaside town of Rathmullan in County Donegal (Ireland), get yourselves to Belles Kitchen. I'll even join you.

Phil Spector standing over the body of Lana Clarkson.

Call me old-fashioned but I wish we'd win "a small cup here or there".

Struck me yesterday that he's the type of signing Utd would have made under Ferguson and we would have been saying why don't we sign players like him someone who cost peanuts in today's market and instantly improves the squad