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I hardly ever post anymore since my daughter died, I don't know if it's that the reason I don't post much anymore but I'm more comfortable lurking I suppose. When she died 4 years ago, I was destroyed and part of me still is. I'll never get over it. There's things that I have to deal with over the last few years, that I think have stopped me grieving for her in a way that I'd like to. In many ways I've become numb to so much. I seem to be on autopilot most of the time and out of the blue, I'm floored and can barely pick my head up off the floor. For most of the time I function like everyone else, I go to work and do what other people do, but I don't get anywhere near the enjoyment out of life that I used to. And I accept that as I know why. My wife and I set up a charity, Love, Jasmine, 2 years ago in her memory and I know many of you sponsored Dougie Doins on his sponsored bike ride last year when he raised money for us - thank you!. We support other families who have gone through/going through what we are and the way people deal with it is as unique as the child they've lost. There's no right or wrong way to deal with grief. You have to find your own way. For some counselling works, for others it doesn't. Some prefer the company of others who have experienced something similar and peer support can really help with isolation. One of things that we've tried to do with the charity is give families different choices. We don't just say here's counselling and go to the GP and get medication. We provide self-care strategies such Yoga, meditation and complimentary therapies and these are available to kids and adults alike. There's counselling for those that want to try that as well as support groups and we also provide transport for families to get them to appointments, if they can't get themselves to us. Last year, we asked families what would help and so many came back to us and said respite breaks, so we bought a caravan and we now send families for respite breaks as well. I didn't mean this to sound like an advert for the charity, I guess I'm just trying to say grief is different for everyone. I see it every day in my own life at home and with the people that we work with each day.

Oh my this thread is hard. I’ll try and say this briefly but it might ramble on. We lost our 7 year old daughter to leukaemia in 2000. She was diagnosed and died within 2 weeks. I’ve no idea how we got through that. Our son had just turned 10 at the time and I guess we kept going for him. I changed jobs after a year because although everyone was very nice I didn’t want to be ‘that lady who daughter died’ Ive had loads of managers in my new job and every time I get a new one I think that’s someone new to tell because I always have the anniversary and her birthday off work. I remember walking down the street a few days later and not understanding why everyone was going about their normal business when my world had collapsed. Anyway today our son has presented us with our first grandchild, a boy so onwards and upwards.

Repped for sheer brass neck.

Having driven the bus off the cliff, the driver turns to berate a passenger in the back for not flapping his arms fast enough.

But you voted Tory. I'm genuinely baffled as to what planet you're on with this. 'Won't someone save us from the Tories!' Who did you vote for? 'The Tories.'

I lost my brother who was also my best mate to cancer in March 2016, 9 months later my mum died of pneumonia, this was while I was going through a messy and prolonged divorce where I lost my house and had to take redundancy from a well paid job to get rid of the debts my ex wife left me with, but the death of my brother was the thing that hit me the hardest, it completely floored me and devastated me, he was like a lion, never once complained about what he was going through, never wished it on anyone else, and was more worried about other people than himself, it broke me having to go and see him while he was dying but I put on a brave face, hid the tears and went in cracking jokes and having a laugh with him, he talked about dying and it fucking almost crucified me when he was talking about it, but i think it was something he had to do, so he never saw me break, he was a Man City fan, since the early 70s when we were kids and with me being Liverpool there was plenty of banter, he died the week after we played City in the league cup final, that was the last game we ever watched together, he was drifting in and out of consciousness due to the drugs but still celebrated when City scored, before he died I wrote him a letter telling him how much I loved him and when it was his time to go he had to say hello to Elvis, John Lennon and Bruce Lee from me, and he said he would but I had to tell him the City scores whenever I went to his grave, which I do. The after affect is awful , like you're drowning and just get your breath back and another wave of grief crashes into you, I have no idea how I got through it, there's books that I read in the weeks and months after, and films I watched that I have no recollection of, I should have had counselling but I had no idea that it existed, time heals but every so often a song or a memory sneaks up and slaps you in the face, I must be made of stern stuff as I know of a couple of people that have committed suicide in my town just cos they split up from their wives/girlfriends.

Thanks everyone, for your concern and for your stories of your own losses and of how you've each managed your own grief. I should say that I'm sound btw, haven't suffered any loss or bereavement recently, but I did watch a film about loss the other night, and that prompted my post. The film was Peter Jackson's The Lovely Bones, and it really struck me about how in grief, how there are no rules, no right or wrong, how grieving is such an intensely personal and individual thing. My nan dies in the June of 1999 and it hit me like a ton of bricks. After both my mother and my dad had (for different reasons) fucked off and left both me and my younger brother, it was my elderly maternal grandmother whooo gladly filled the vacuum and stepped in to bring us both up. Had she not done so, then we would have both been shipped off to some children's home. As I watched that film though, my grief for my nan really struck me. I have missed her for every single day of the past 20 years, but rarely if ever have I ever spoken of my grief, my pain and sorrow to anyone. This cannot be healthy. Perhaps I should and maybe it's important for me to do so. Maybe this thread is the beginning of my catharsis and of a recovery of sorts. In many respects I'm a very typical fella; I drink too much, bottle stuff up, repress my feelings, live in denial, put a brave face on, soldier on, and generally be an arsehole. After 20 odd years, maybe it's time to grasp thhe nettle, man up and sort my shit out? Maybe. Thanks to eveyone who's taken the time to reply to my OP, many of your posts have been both touching and moving. Much love back at ya.

My dad died a few years back. Was never sick in his life and never took a day off work and worked on the tools. Strong silent type. He woke up one night and felt sick - my mum rang me and said she’s had to ring and ambulance. His head was spinning and he was vomiting. The running joke with my dad was that he was never sick and was a strong, fit and healthy 54 year old man. They thought it was just a fever and kept him in over night. He slipped into a coma and was gone four days later. Something had happened in his neck with shot blood up into his brain. Apparently it happens to rugby payers when they take a big hit. Anyway, I was in work two weeks later acting the big man thinking that I was done with the grief and over his death. How wrong I was. I had what I would consider to be a nervous breakdown or some shit a few years later and I swear it was something to do with me bottling it up over losing my dad. I spoke to a few councillors and they reckon it was delayed grief. Came out of nowhere, I lost loads of weight and couldn’t sleep a wink for a few weeks. In answer to the question, I think it’s healhty to to grieve properly and process what’s happened. But I reckon we all deal with stuff out own ways.

Venue: Schoolhouse, St Johns Hill Price: £11.50 Verdict: Pricey but very good. Cumberland sausage was very tasty. Bacon was nice and crispy. The beans was amazing, probably best I’ve had. Sautéed potatoes were err... interesting additions.

No, he should criticise the party that brought about the referendum, the prominent members of leave- who were all serving Tory cabinet members- and who have proceeded to fuck it up, not a Labour leader for not - what? Tweeting about a march? He's like you and the lib dems. Plenty of labour voters on here criticise Labour past and present and Corbyn for that matter, but you and Rico never ever own your shit.

Deliberately sidestepping the issue again. You voted for a Tory party which has been defined by splits over Europe your entire adult life. A party which instigated a referendum purely to pander to that, which has botched the negotiations and sown bad will at every turn with the EU, filled with extremists who are pushing for a hard Brexit. You voted for them, you'll vote for them again. Yet you bemoan Corbyn, someone you actively loath, for not saving you from them. Absolutely bonkers at every level.

Snotcoat.

Could definitely make a calender.

Unlike Usher, I’m perfectly content with my current set of audience.

And if your that outraged by it all why the hell did you vote for a party that offered the opportunity to leave in the first place?

Joe Gomez

Looks like the little fuckers are gettin going their own back..... https://news.sky.com/story/man-72-stoned-to-death-by-monkeys-in-india-11531791

I wouldn’t be surprised if you got the shits from eating that sausage, as it looks barely cooked. £11.50 is far to much given the portion size. I’d want at least another sausage and maybe another rasher of bacon. Plus black pudding, more mushrooms, tomatoes and a couple of rounds of proper toast. That’s not mayonnaise in that little pot, is it?

We would have lost or drew that game if we hadn’t won. Food for thought.

I realise that I have got a bit emotional over this whole sorry mess. We were away last week in beautiful affluent rural Leave voting North Yorkshire last week. I kept seeing all these nice, well-mannered older people and had to fight the irrational urge to let doors slam back in their faces (the irony is not lost on me)

Mike: Look at them. They're hooligans, they're not real football supporters. They're bloody psychotic thugs, the lot of them, look at the way they're behaving. They shouldn't be allowed to travel and watch their national side, should they? Look at that lad, lashing out with his feet, goading the police, they want bloody locking up the lot of them. Hang on. That's Wacko. What's he doing? He's right in the thick of it.

I’ve just sat and read the thread right through. They aren’t my stories but they are so affecting. It doesn’t feel like the time to respond to any of them individually but we say it time and again but putting these kinds of experiences down on here is one of the best things about this place. I picked up on those thoughts of wondering the purpose of putting some of those feelings down in print. I don’t know what you take from it but be sure that your thoughts and experiences are read by others and help in profound and long lasting ways as we all try to navigate the really big parts of our own lives. Thank you and much love to you all

Never go full aRdja.

Nothing on the Twitter feed of Theresa May, the Prime Minister, who asked for the backing of Conservative voters for her Brexit negotiations during the general election, and who those who voted Conservative gave said backing to.

“People are discussing aspects of a performance on a football forum, and there is some mild criticism of the way we have played. I’m needed, Lois.”

There is only one acapella that I rate higher but he is a god.

He'd be a useless ghost writer.

People are actually saying the Chelsea staff member was a disgrace. It's disrespectful, but a disgrace is trying to gouge another coach in the eye after a game. That shit today was barely anything.

Wow. This really is quite the thread. Sincere thanks to everyone who has contributed. There is no rulebook for grief but ultimately those of us left behind must carry on by whatever means. My own experience still leaves me angry and numb at the same time. My wife and I do appear to enjoy life but on my own behalf Im never quite sure if Im simply faking it. I feel that the loss of R defines me more than my amazing wife A and grown up children B, D and J. Aint that just a kicker.

Trying to organise an impromptu afternoon in the pub. My local was doing an Oktoberfest homage this weekend, it slipped me by until I seen a post on Facebook earlier that all pints were £1.75 all day today. Sent out texts to see if anyone fancies it and got nothing. Too short notice, plans already made, working tomorrow etc. One of my mates declined because they don't do "normal" beers like Fosters or Carling. Life feels over.

Harsh but fair on Anubis, that.

You’re missing fucking plenty

Well, he wouldn't have had a referendum. But this 'eating rats' stuff, well that's just going to be the poor; you and your party are safe. In fact, you'll no doubt find a way to become richer at the expense of those you fucked over. Good for you. Buy shares in rat food.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=snYE3_GGVcU

"Don't hold me back!" "I mean it." "I'm really tough, me..." "Don't hold me back!"

Best to get the roofing done first otherwise the laminate flooring is going to be a massive waste of time and money!

We need the cunt to stay and spend 150m on a couple of 30 year olds in January

Crap is temporary, shit is permanent

Manhole covers.

Hope you get spoilt rotten. Happy birthday

Happy birthday Champ. Have a good'n x

Happy birthday, Cath. Have a good ‘un.

Admission prices season 74/75

My mum died when I was 19 after being struck by a car as a pedestrian. I’m not sure whether I’d have rather it been the relatively instantaneous thing that it was or go through what my mate did and see his mum slip away from Cancer over about a year. I ended up dealing pretty well with a series of incidents in my working life pretty well (including having to tell a young family their loved one had died in the very same room I’d been told my own mum was going to die) but then broke down a few years ago when describing my favourite childhood Christmas to my girlfriend. The first time I’d properly cried since the accident. Quite often I make jokes about it now and don’t regard myself as sensitive about it at all. I still hate being the person people will remember as giving them the bad news as I have to do a couple of times a year now. I absolutely hate it and it affects me just as badly every time I have to do it. I think what gets me most now is knowing she won’t see my kids and how much they’d have loved her.

As always with any draft, my only aim is to finish above Stig.