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Saturday Sep 22: L 3 Southampton 0 As routine as it gets. We didn’t even play that well in the first half but were still 3-0 up. Shaqiri was influential and I’d like to see more of him playing with the front three rather than instead of one of them. That free-kick was incredible and really deserved to go in, but the next best outcome was Mo getting the rebound so it worked out great. The front three were all in different positions in the first half and it didn’t look right. Poor little Shaqiri was hooked at half time and the front three slotted back into their usual spots. They didn’t score but they looked to me like they were getting back in the groove a little so hopefully they’ve turned a corner now. With Chelsea and City on the horizon let’s fucking hope so. Hey look, Harry Wilson scored for Derby. That’s a bit of a relief as I hadn’t heard his name mentioned all season. I was expecting him to run riot in the Championship this year after what he did at Hull. If he’s going to have any chance of coming back here and making it he needs a big season for Derby so it’s good to see him off an running. I’d love him to make it here, such a classy little player. Sunday Sep 23: John Collins gives some insight into Van Dijk’s time at Celtic and how all of the big English clubs could have had him for £12m but wouldn’t pull the trigger. Arsenal thought he was ‘too nonchalant’, which is funny considering the bunch of dog turds they’ve had playing centre back over the last decade or so. Brendan ‘wasn’t sure he was better than what he had’, which is interesting considering he has always claimed that he wanted to sign him TWICE but was over-ruled by ‘the committee’. Someone’s telling porkies here, and I don’t see what Collins has to gain from it (his info came from Gary Mac, who was Brendan’s assistant at the time). Brendan’s such a fucking snake oil salesman isn’t he? If he told me water was wet I’d google it just to be sure. Speaking of Brendan and Celtic, they’re below Stevie and Rangers. That didn’t take long did it? Firstly let me state that I don’t really give a shit about either team, but I would like to see Stevie do well and upset the status quo up there. So far so good. Only problem is, they both seem to have forgotten about Hearts who are five points clear. It’d be funny as fuck if someone other than Celtic or Rangers were to win it. Meanwhile, one of Klopp’s former players is urging his old boss to sign another of his former players. Mario Gotze is having a bad time of it at Dortmund and Kevin Grosskreutz thinks Klopp should take him in January. "Maybe it would be good for him (Gotze) to go abroad in the winter to find a bit more peace and bring his career back on track. Klopp knows him quite well, he would be a good fit for Liverpool." A good fit? The only thing this little porker would be a good fit for is if Emiliano ‘the Mars Bar kid’ Insua has left a pair of his old shorts at Melwood. Fuck Mario Gotze. He had his chance to come here and he big timed us because we didn’t get in the Champions League. Also today, Moyes doesn’t think we can win the title. Good. I’d be a lot more concerned if he thought we could, especially since he thought his Everton side were “a centre forward away from competing for the title”. To be fair, if that centre forward was capable of scoring 100 goals a season then he may have been right. Monday Sep 24: Those FIFA awards were an absolute train wreck. Last time I squirmed that much watching an awards show was when Sam Fox was up there with that big lanky fella from Fleetwood Mac. It was just brutal. Patrick Stewart and Idris Alba were doing jokes that went down like lead balloons. There was tumbleweed rolling across the stage at one point. Fucking cringe central. Not as bad as the actual choices for the awards though. Mo won the best goal of the year when it wasn’t even in the top five HE scored, let alone anyone else. I’d be fucking fuming if I was Gareth Bale. Mo was also named in the best three players but then couldn’t get into the best eleven. Who picked that, Garth Crooks? Fucking mental. Still, as much as Mo and Bale can feel hard done by it’s nothing how Courtois should be feeling. He won the best keeper award but somehow wasn’t named as the keeper in the best eleven! That went to De Gea. Well of course it did, as it looks like that best eleven was picked on the basis of who has the best stats on FIFA 19. Surprised Pogba wasn’t in it actually. Any best eleven that doesn’t have Andy Robbo in it can fuck right off. Tuesday Sep 25: Harry Wilson, what a goal, son!! And what a celebration. Love that. Made up for him that he’s now off and running and can hopefully show what he’s capable of. Scoring at Old Trafford is great for any Red, regardless of what team they happen to be playing for when they do it. Him giving it the fivetimes tells me how invested he is in being a Liverpool player and that he gets it. United are an absolutely rancid, stinking mess right now. It’s great isn’t it? They all hate Mourinho, he hates everyone, the press are lapping it all up and they’re just not a threat at all this year. They might not even make the top six if the likes of Wolves and maybe Leicester can keep progressing. Wednesday Sep 26: L 1 Chelsea 2 Tell you what, I’m fucking sick of not being able to beat Chelsea at Anfield. It’s getting right on my tits now. Sick of that little prick Hazard coming here and looking like Maradona every year too. Wish he’d fuck off. I don’t particularly care about going out of the cup (blessing in disguise etc) but I don’t like losing any game, and least of all when its against Chelsea. Still, we don’t have to wait long for a chance to set the record straight. I fancy us to turn them over on Saturday, although I have to say Sarri has done a remarkable job in changing their style around so quickly. Usually such a drastic change would take time, but they look comfortable already. Probably because with the talent they have this is how they should always have been playing, instead of the safety first football of Mourinho and Conte. That said, we should have won. We were the better side and I thought we played well all things considered. What can you do when a dodgy ref is hell bent on helming the opposition though? He needs investigating for allowing that first goal to stand. This is the whole point of VAR, to sort out decisions that are difficult to get right on first view. Barkley is only inches offside and you can’t expect a linesman to get that right. If you’re using video evidence though, then fucking use it properly. How is this any different to goal-line technology? The ball is either over the line or it’s not. He’s either offside or he isn’t. Whether it’s an inch or a mile it doesn’t matter. Barkley was offside, we got screwed and Kevin Friend is a Chelsea loving sack of shit. Tough call as to whether I hate him or Jon Moss the most. Pair of cunts. Thursday Sep 27: Ross Barkley says Eden Hazard is the best player in the world. Well he’d know, having grown up watching and playing with all those greats at Everton. I mean really, fucking hell. Barkley commenting on the world’s great players is like me saying you who the world’s best golfer is and the press reporting it, like my opinion on it is actually worth something. Just because I can swing a club a bit doesn’t mean shit. 12 months ago Barkley was playing with Oumar Niasse, so he should probably pipe down, the breeze block headed prick. Meanwhile, there’s a report in France claiming we’re after Rennes winger Ismaila Sarr. The name rung a bell so I googled him, and I’m pretty sure he was playing right back for Senegal in the world cup. I remember him because he was the quickest player I think I’ve ever seen (along with Adama Traore). He was unreal. No idea if he’s any good or not, but he’s fast as fuck. I suspect the longer it goes without Mané signing a contract, the more wingers we’re going to be linked with. It’s a bit weird the way we keep tying up deals for everyone else other than Mané. Is he pulling an Emre Can on us? Friday Sep 28: Some talk that we might go for Aaron Ramsay, who is available in January according to reports today. Interesting one this. Is he good enough? I think so. He’s a really good player and would probably fit in well. Do we need him? Probably not, at least not unless we sell someone first (*looks sideways at Lallana*). Ramsay has a touch of the Lallana’s about him though as he always seems to be injured too. I don’t think we’d go for him in January, but next summer on a free? Yeah I could see Klopp fancying that deal. What worries me is he might not be replacing Lallana, but Milner, who is also out of contract next summer and being linked with a return to Leeds. Whoever replaces Milner is going to be on a bum steer from me as there will be no replacing him in my heart. This would be Ray Houghton replacing Craig Johnson all over again. Houghton was such a good player but I never took to him because he replaced Johnston. It was the same with Beardsley when he took Walshy’s place, although Beardsley was so good eventually I reluctantly accepted him. In other news today, Shaqiri finally hits back at Charlie Adam over his criticism earlier in the season. Basically he said “I scored goals, what the fuck did you do other than miss pens and get sent off, you cheeky twat”. Adam Lewis is now training with the first team. I’m a big fan of his and with Moreno not really being comfortable coming in and playing once a month, it might make sense to take a look at Lewis as a possibly understudy for Robbo. If he can learn some jokes in Portuguese to make the Brazilian lads laugh, we’ll have no use for Moreno at all. That was the week that was….