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Chelsea needed to win by three goals against Cardiff to take top spot from us. They fell behind early and it was looking good for us (and Cardiff!) until Eden Hazard said “fuck this” and took Neil Warnock’s side to the cleaners. Sol Bamba (better than Van Dijk, according to Warnock) missed a great chance from an early set-piece but Chelsea didn’t heed the warning and Bamba knocked one in from close range soon after. Gonna have to revise my statement on Cardiff never scoring any goals. I’ll rephrase it slightly. They won’t score any goals from open play between now and Christmas. Their lead didn’t last long. Hazard equalised with a brilliant goal and then put Chelsea ahead seven minutes later with a shot that went in off Bamba (better than Van Dijk, remember). Chelsea’s third came from the penalty spot when Bamba (did I mention he’s better than Van Dijk?) lunged in and brought down Willian. Hazard tucked away the pen to complete his hat-trick and then Willian curled in a brilliant fourth to ensure they ended the weekend in first place. Thanks for nothing, Cardiff. They’ve got City next, so I won’t be expecting any favours from them there either. Warnock said afterwards “we were in it for for about 80 minutes…. but the best team by a mile won” and then he laughed. He’s playing with house money this season. He worked a miracle getting them promoted and if they stink, so what? It’s no reflection on him really, so that’s why he’s so relaxed. Sarri wasn’t too happy though. He likes how Chelsea attack but thinks they need work at the back. He’s right, but if you play Sideshow Bob in a back four then you have to expect that, surely? He’s a strange looking cat, Sarri, isn’t he? Just doesn’t look like a manager at all. He looks like Don Savastano from Gomorrah, with his oversized t-shirt, crew cut and glasses. Don’t get on his wrong side, I bet he’s fucking ruthless. Good result for Wilfried Palace at the weekend. Huddersfield probably shaded it on chances but Zaha was the difference between the sides, as he so often is. Take him out and Palace lose every fucking week. Put him in and they’re a top ten side. His goal was fantastic and he’s got three already this season even though he’s missed time with a groin problem. He really went off on one afterwards about the lack of protection he gets from the officials. Maybe if he stops diving all over the fucking place like a Poundland Neymar refs would give him a little more benefit of the doubt? Just a thought. There was a really bad tackle on him by Jorgensen early on which probably should have been a red, but then Zaha himself left one on a Huddersfield defender and was yellow carded so he’s lashing bricks in a greenhouse there. I’m kicking Zaha to the kerb now. As of this week, he’s no longer my boy. What about Bournemouth though, eh? Fucking hell. They battered Leicester. I thought that would be a really tight game but it was anything but. Ryan Fraser put them ahead with a terrific solo effort. Harry Maguire somehow escaped a second yellow when he completely flattened Josh King with a body check. I guess being an England ‘world cup hero’ gets you certain privileges. Six months ago he’d have been off for that, no question. Fraser added a second and then Craig Pawson gave a fucking ludicrous penalty when King played the ball against a defenders hand from point blank range. Terrible that. King buried the pen to make it 3-0 and Leicester were staring down the barrel of a hammering, especially when Pawson then sent off Morgan for winning the ball. Bullshit again that. This is what happens when you’re not an England ‘world cup hero’ I guess. Adam Smith made it 4-0 after more good work by Fraser. Bournemouth then got a bit complacent and Smith conceded a pen that was converted by Maddison, before Albrighton headed in another consolation goal to give the score a less embarrassing look for Leicester, but no-one was fooled by it. Leicester ought to be better than this though. They’ve got some really good players and probably should be the best non-top six side. At the moment it looks like that might be Bournemouth or Wolves. You know something, I’ve had one of my trademark changes of heart about Fraser. I was offended when he came off the bench to embarrass us a couple of years ago. I mean come on, this fat little Scottish no-mark shouldn’t be doing that to us. It stung and it stayed with me for a while, so I was quite harsh on him as a result. I’ll say it now though. I like him, he’s a good little player with a great attitude. There’s an opening in my stable now that I ditched Zaha, so from this day forth he shall be known as 'my boy' Ryan Fraser. Elsewhere, Rafa parked his bus again and as usual it didn’t work. He’s done an incredible job up there though. Not on the pitch, but in the way he’s somehow managed to make those Geordies forget about Kevin Keegan’s all out attacking style and accept his outrageous, shit on a stick negativity. Arsenal’s away record over the past 12 months is fucking rank. They’re a soft touch, there for the taking, everyone knows it. They even know it. But you have to go at them and put them under pressure. Don’t sit on the edge of your own box, cowering and hoping to not get fucked. Arsenal were shite in the first half but Newcastle were worse. Arsenal got better after the break, Newcastle didn’t. Xhaka’s brilliant free-kick broke the deadlock and Ozil added a second. Clark’s header with two minutes of stoppage time left made the scoreline look close but it was much too little too late. Arsenal are crap. We’ll batter them. Newcastle are terrible but will probably give us a much tougher game as they won’t leave their own half. City cruised to a 3-0 home win against Fulham, who basically handed the game to them on a plate. Serri has made an impressive start to Premier League life but he took a massive liberty early on in this game and it resulted in a tap in for Sane. You can’t do shit like that against sides like us and City, who want to press high and force a mistake. It was completely irresponsible from him. David Silva made it 2-0 and Sterling got his customary goal from a yard out to wrap things up. Baldiola wasn’t happy though, he felt his players were slacking and he brought them in for extra training the next day. His players responded with a big ‘fuck you’ by promptly losing at home to Lyon. City have lost their last four Champions League games now. Enough is enough now. They’re embarrassing the Premier League and should do the decent thing and withdraw from the competition and ask if they can go in the Europa instead, which might be more their level. I’m serious. City in the Champions League are like tits on a bull. Look at Anfield the night before and then compare it to the Etihad. I’m not talking about the empty seats, I’m on about the lack of enthusiasm from those who were actually there. European nights are supposed to be special. City just don’t get that. They don’t understand. Success and the big stage is completely wasted on them. United, Arsenal, even Chelsea get it. Nowhere compares with Anfield but at least those other clubs know that these are special occasions that should be savoured. Granted, Chelsea might show it with their shitty plastic flags, but at least they know they should be doing something. Stamford Bridge on a European night is better than Stamford Bridge on a league cup night. Old Trafford too. Can City say the same? Great team, dreadful fans. Klopp should be tapping up the shit out of De Bruyne and telling him to run down his contract. A player like that shouldn’t be playing in front of those fans. He’s a Red, bring him home Jurgen. Bring him home. ‘Super Sunday’ should have been done under the trade descriptions act this week. Burnley against Wolves and Everton v West Ham? What’s super about that? That’s what I was thinking anyway. I was wrong though. Everton being thumped by the league’s bottom club was pretty ‘super’ to be fair. Everton. *shakes head* Where to start with them. They were unbeaten going into Sunday’s game but that was the most misleading statistic of the season so far. We all knew they were shite and Sunday proved it. After Huddersfield left Goodison with a draw I fancied the winless Hammers to go there and get the points so it was no real surprise when they did. Really unselfish play from Arnautovic put the opening goal on a plate for Yarmolenko. The Ukranian added a second soon after, put on a plate for him this time by Jordan ‘great with his feet’ Pickford. How’s that “I won’t do an Alisson” thing working out for you, soft lad? This is why keepers should always stick up for each other. There but for the grace of God and that. Pickford’s actual quote on Alisson wasn’t as bad as the headlines made them out to be, but he should have steered clear altogether as there’s nothing to be gained by it. Sigurdsson headed the Blues back into it but Arnautovic restored the Hammers’ two goal cushion and they saw it out comfortably. Is Arnautovic the best player outside the top six? It’s between him, Vardy and Zaha I’d say. Ruben Neves as well actually. West Ham will kick on from this and pull away from the bottom as long as Arnautovic stays fit and as long as they keep Jack Wilshere on the bench. You know who Wilshere reminds me off these days? Joe Cole when he played for us. He’s finished, looks like he’s running with an open parachute strapped to his back and probably smokes 40 woodbines a day. With West Ham winning, that now leaves Burnley rock bottom after they were beaten by Wolves. It was only 1-0 but Wolves thoroughly outclassed them and missed a shitload of chances. They look good. Joe Hart described them as by far the best newly promoted side he’s ever faced. He had a good game again. I’m pleased for him, I hope he keeps it up and takes his England place back from that mouthy little twat at Everton. Burnley are in trouble though as it looks like their style has been rumbled now. There’s always one team that starts terribly but then saves themselves. Bournemouth and Palace spring to mind as recent examples, and maybe Burnley will be that team this year. My gut feeling is they’re going to be down there in around the drop zone all season though. Like when Wimbledon’s alehouse approach eventually stopped working. Monday night’s game was decent. Southampton went 2-0 up against Brighton but ended up being pegged back to 2-2. Mark Hughes was unhappy with the referee afterwards. Show me an occasion when his team doesn’t win and he isn’t unhappy with the referee. He’s always unhappy about something. I doubt if there’s a more miserable moaning bastard in English football. Hopefully he’s whining again this weekend, the old lady haired Manc twat.