The Ailment thread

[mattyq]

Kidney Aids...the worst sort

RIP YNWA etc

[Sugar Ape]

RIP Bruce. He died doing what he did best. Negging mongs on the GF.

 

On the plus side, one less Aussie to worry about...

[brucespanner]

Yeah, but it sounds like he's got aids of the Kidneys. Could be contagious, I'd avoid him if I were you Champ.

 

I can guarentee it's not the HIV, how do I know?

 

Well in amongst the numerous test I've been subjected to this week the HIV test was one, I'm negative, or is that positive, I'm not sure, but I don't have bad shithouse AIDS anyhow, which is nice.

[VladimirIlyich]

I'll steak my reputation on it being a kidney infection.

[brucespanner]

I'll steak my reputation on it being a kidney infection.

 

Nah, all clear on that front.

 

It's to do with the actual function, or lack thereof, of my Kidneys.

[Champ]

I'll steak my reputation on it being a kidney infection.

 

I'd ruled that out on account of him not having mentioned being in excruciating pain.

 

I'm confident T&B will be along shortly to put bruce out of his misery

[brucespanner]

I'd ruled that out on account of him not having mentioned being in excruciating pain.

 

I'm confident T&B will be along shortly to put bruce out of his misery

 

I was for a few days, in-between drifting in and out of consciousness, when I finally came round I was dragged to hospital.

[Champ]

I was for a few days, in-between drifting in and out of consciousness, when I finally came round I was dragged to hospital.

 

What a suitably melancholic way to go.....

[mattyq]

I can guarentee it's not the HIV, how do I know?

 

Well in amongst the numerous test I've been subjected to this week the HIV test was one, I'm negative, or is that positive, I'm not sure, but I don't have bad shithouse AIDS anyhow, which is nice.

 

You might have a new variety which they haven't got a test for yet

[VladimirIlyich]

I'd ruled that out on account of him not having mentioned being in excruciating pain.

 

I'm confident T&B will be along shortly to put bruce out of his misery

 

 

I'll steak my reputation on it being a kidney infection.

 

Seems my quip went over everybody's heads.

 

I can really spell you know.

[Champ]

 

I'll steak my reputation on it being a kidney infection.

 

Seems my quip went over everybody's heads.

 

I can really spell you know.

 

Your talent's wasted on us

[Iceman]

Hang in there Bruce old man.

[Section_31]

Have had the virus from hell since the weekend, utterly freaked out by it. Woke up on Saturday with the most sore throat I'd ever had, felt like I couldn't close it at all. It gradually got better and then my chest started going funny. I went into work yesterday, was alright and just felt like I had a head cold, but then walking back to my car had what felt liks an ashma attack.

When I got home I had the shakes and was coughing up all sorts of shit and went to bed, I actually thought I had pneumonia at that point.

 

Had to phone in sick this morning and my chest isn't as bad as it was, but now I've got mild shits.

 

It's like the cunt is taking pot shots at me, trying to open doors and then trying new ones when it gets fucked off. The little cunt. Once my lymphocytes have it away I'm going to toast its death with a nice glass of Kronenberg and a curry. The twat.

[Pony Princess]

Massive lump on my shin where I cracked it a few hours ago on the way out of the club where people supporting a certain divegrass team gather, when I realized I had missed the taxi callbacks. Pyar sore it is. Cracked my shins loads of times but this one is a doozy. It is obviously becoming a tumour, clot or aids. Might not be here tomorrow. RIP YNWA.

[Redder Lurtz]

What can you get for an itchy sphincter?

[Rico1304]

What can you get for an itchy sphincter?

 

Gloves

[Flying Pig]

What's the name of that disease were a mans penis is too large for a woman and birds call every night for a boss shag?

 

I've got that.

[Flying Pig]

What can you get for an itchy sphincter?

 

I'm freeeeeeeeeee.

[Bobby Hundreds]

What's the name of that disease were a mans penis is too large for a woman and birds call every night for a boss shag?

 

I've got that.

 

Delusions?

[Flying Pig]

Delusions?

 

My doctor did warn me that one of the major side effects to my problem is immense jealousy from lesser men. Thank god for the NHS.

[Sugar Ape]

Delusions?

 

Given his age it's probably dementia?

[Flying Pig]

Given his age it's probably dementia?

 

Cheeky bastard, if I was 20 years younger and not having to go the toilet every 3 minutes I would batter you. Also, I haven't got dementia, in fact my memory is......cheese on toast? Yes please.

[Sugar Ape]

Any of you fuckers had to take Propranolol?

[Carvalho Diablo]

Any of you fuckers had to take Propranolol?

 

Is that for gout prevention ?

[Sugar Ape]

It's a beta blocker, has multiple uses but mainly for heart problems. It's been given to me though to manage migraines which I'm a bit dubious about.