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EURO 2012

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Guest davelfc
That balloon-bellied blert Jonathan Pearce has spent the whole match just slating Milan Baros. Twat!

 

He was better on robot wars and he was a screaming tosspot on that.

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I absolutely despise the way Ronaldo looks to the sky after he has gone close to scoring, seemingly to berate God for forsaking him at the vital moment. "It's so unfair!" he seems to ask the Lord. "Why have you treated me this way?" Presumably, Cristiano, it's because in the unlikely scenario that there is a God, He must think much like the rest of us that you are a greasy little, fudge-punching fuckrag, and is therefore punishing you for your huge cuntishness.

 

It's a bit like when Lampard scores and points to the sky in order to salute his dead mother in Heaven. Presumptuous.

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Looks like its only going to end one way this - I just hope Portugal get the inevitable goal before the 90 minutes are up because if I have to watch another half hour of this I'm going to turn to drink. Well, more drink.

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I would love to see a looping cross into the box, Ronaldo rising majestically above the despairing leap of Cech, then just as he's about to head the ball into an open net he's transfixed by a shaft of frozen urine that had fallen from the toilet of a passing aircraft.

 

(With thanks to Chris Morris)

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Cuntbag. Also, why oh why do commentators come out with such ludicrous fucking hyperbole all the time? He heads a goal, first response is screaming nonsensical speculation about whether this could be THE YEAR HE FINALLY GETS HIS HANDS ON AN INTERNATIONAL TROPHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY. Seriously, cunt the fuck off.

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Cuntbag. Also, why oh why do commentators come out with such ludicrous fucking hyperbole all the time? He heads a goal, first response is screaming nonsensical speculation about whether this could be THE YEAR HE FINALLY GETS HIS HANDS ON AN INTERNATIONAL TROPHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY. Seriously, cunt the fuck off.

 

I wish this was the year he'd get on the end of a fucking spike... via falling from great height.

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This portugese side has got to be one of the most unlikeable teams ever assembled with Pepe, Ronaldo and Nani top of the irritating list.

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Fuck completely off Portugal. Just fuck off. You cheating, smarmy, greasy, slimy bastards. You don't even have freckles because they slide off your faces. You horrible set of cunts.

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Now I wonder if Shearer is going to serve up any more of his wonderful tactical insights, it's good to know my licence fee is going to prop up his wages.

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This is what I wrote about Portugal just a few days ago:

 

They put play-acting, time-wasting and preening shithousery ahead of any attempt to take the game to the opposition. For all their supposed technical ability, they just do not know how to dictate a game on the front foot. They can only utilise their ability in counter-attack mode. Did I mention they are a massive collection of shithouses?

 

Apart from a few early runs by the likes of Pilar and Limbersky, and one good run by Pilar in the second half, the Czechs seemed happy to sit back and soak up the pressure. Certainly it was noticeable just how deep Jiracek was playing. He was always too far away to provide any threat. Whether this meant the onus was on the Portuguese to probe and press or whether that was a conscious decision by Paulo Bento, Portugal looked very impressive (if wasteful) tonight when they decided to exert some pressure on their opponents. Also impressive was that they engaged in very very little - if any? - shithouse antics. Which just goes to further highlight my earlier point that they have enough technical quality to use a much more positive approach than they usually do.

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I fucking hate Portugal, it may be down to that preening boyband reject, but they just annoy the fuck out of me.

 

And Jonathan Pearce, will you shut the fuck up you annoying, sycophantic cunt! Jesus fucking christ, the only gobshite outside of United and Clarke Cuntundrum Carlisle who thought it was a penalty for United against QPR, he just gets everything wrong!

 

'Seen them given'! So fucking what? I'm sorry, but because some docile twat gives a ridiculous penalty, that justifies another one does it, you fucking stupid, screaching over excited prick. If the Buddists have it right, he lived next door to Van Gogh.

 

And fucking Nando's is an overated, sloppy shits inducing cafe for fat chavs.

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