Greatest Opening lines.

[rubble-rouser]

- "I'm sick of this record already" - Ezra Furman, Teddy I'm Ready

[Lee909]

Well, I've been spending all my money on weed n' pills
Tryin' to write a song that'll pay the bills
But it ain't came yet, so I guess I'll have to rob a bank

 

 

 

[Lee909]

Well, my daddy left home when I was three
And he didn't leave much to ma and me
Just this old guitar and a empty bottle of booze
Now, I don't blame him 'cause he run and hid
But the meanest thing that he ever did
Was before he left, he went and named me Sue

[Lee909]

Well, she said, she didn't love me
And kicked me out the door
Now I'm livin' in one room
And sleepin' on the floor
I think I'm gonna kick my boots off
And put some music on
And since I'm all alone
I might as well get stoned

 

 

[Captain Howdy]

On 22/01/2013 at 22:17, AngryofTuebrook said:

There's something happening here

What it is ain't exactly clear

Topical

[Bruce Spanner]

‘In truth seductions what it is, the parts are neither hers nor his...’I would prefer you don’t remove your glove’’ 

 

Glorious.

 

Clem Snide ‘Fill me with your light’

[Mudface]

"That's why I fucked your bitch, you fat motherfucker."

 

 

Whipped Boyfriend (to Parker/Longbaugh): Hey! Hey! Yeah you, get up. What are you, retarded? Get off the fucking car!

Raving Bitch (to Parker/Longbaugh): Hey dickless, get off the fucking car! Hey fuck suck, get your slippery fucking ass off the car! Listen to me, get off the fucking car with your fucking ass!

Parker: Shut that cunt's mouth or I'll come over there and fuck start her head!

Raving Bitch (to Whipped Boyfriend): Do something! Go!

Raving Bitch (to Parker/Longbaugh): You're gonna wish you never fucking got up this morning asshole, because my boyfriend's gonna fuck you up! And then after that while he's fucking up your fucking gay uncle over there I'm gonna fucking cut off your cock and mail it to your mother, you fucking faggot bitch! Gaylord fucking bitch! How do you like that? You like that a lot? You fucking faggot? You like to ass fuck? Fontanella fucking babyhead fuck?

Whipped Boyfriend (to Raving Bitch): Honey.

Raving Bitch (to Whipped Boyfriend): Go ahead.

Raving Bitch (to Parker/Longbaugh): You like to fuck babyheads? You like to fuck boys? He's gonna fuck you in the ass, how do you like that? He's not even gay but he'll do it just to fuck...

 

Whipped Boyfriend(to Raving Bitch): Honey, honey.

Whipped Boyfriend (to Parker/Longbaugh): She's got a big mouth but she's not kidding. I'm gonna whip you silly and I'm gonna fuck you stupid. You wanna do the man dance? First dance is yours.

 

Sheer poetry, man.

 

 

[Lee909]

"I Believe in America" ... “I believe in America; America has made my fortune, and I raised my daughter in the American fashion. I gave her freedom, but I taught her never to dishonor her family. She found a boyfriend, not an Italian

[AngryOfTuebrook]

On 19/03/2012 at 17:28, Remmie said:

For as long as I remember I wanted to be a gangster. Goodfellas

Not actually the opening line.

 

 

[Lee909]

Yeah people forget how it started. The script had the Billy Batts scene starting the film

[AngryOfTuebrook]

 

[Lee909]

i am Gunnery Sargeant Hartman

[AngryOfTuebrook]

(Any excuse)

 

When A Tale of Two Cities was first published, it was serialised in two local papers.

 

It was the Bicester Times.

It was the Worcester Times.

[easytoslip]

I drank off all the bottles but my thirst won’t go away. Why by Boz Scaggs.

 

[KMD7]

'My friend's addicted to cocaine'

 

From 'The Winner Loses' by Bodycount

[NoelM]

"Powder your nose, pull off your pantyhose, let me love you from behind" - The Ballad of Lou the Welterweight by The Felice Brothers

[Chairman Meow]

On 04/10/2019 at 07:29, Mudface said:

"That's why I fucked your bitch, you fat motherfucker."

 

 

 

He doesn't need the mother fucker, he's already got one fuck.

 

 

[Dr Nowt]

You've opened the confessions floodgate.....

 

When I was a toddler my mum knitted me a massive Postman Pat...it was about 3 feet tall.

 

It stuck around for years and years collecting dust at the back of my cupboard.

 

I reached my teens and started feeling a bit frisky. One night I was bored of 'plain' wanking so in the heat of the moment I grabbed Postman Pat, tore a hole between his legs and fucked him rotten.

[Bruce Spanner]

No.

[Chairman Meow]

Catholic Girls
With a tiny little mustache
Catholic Girls
Do you know how they go?
Catholic Girls
In the Rectory Basement
Father Riley's a fairy
But it don't bother Mary

[VladimirIlyich]

On 04/10/2019 at 08:48, AngryofTuebrook said:

(Any excuse)

 

When A Tale of Two Cities was first published, it was serialised in two local papers.

 

It was the Bicester Times.

It was the Worcester Times.

That was almost a neg.

[Captain Howdy]

“ I saw a werewolf with a Chinese menu in his hands”

[Bjornebye]

“You’re fit and my mate is too scared to come and tell you”

 

Stig - Sgt Peppers about 1am 27/6/2018

 

 

And here we are. 

[TheHowieLama]

1 hour ago, Captain Howdy said:

“ I saw a werewolf with a Chinese menu in his hands”

Class

[TheHowieLama]

On 30/05/2020 at 18:36, Chairman Meow said:

Catholic Girls
With a tiny little mustache
Catholic Girls
Do you know how they go?
Catholic Girls
In the Rectory Basement
Father Riley's a fairy
But it don't bother Mary

His name is Stevie Vai

And he's a crazy guy

Last November I recall

He needed a spanking