Have a rant thread

[Karl_b]

I feel like I'm in constant dispute with companies and that one thing after another is just, well, shit.

 

DELL - sold me a faulty laptop 2 years ago and it keeps breaking.

 

Builders - built a leaky roof, ignoring me and taking no responsibility so I'm taking them to court.

 

I get stoma supplies from a private company who supply the NHS and they're fucking awful. Complained three months ago, nothing has improved and they didn't follow up until I left a review on the NHS website about them. I only left that review because after contacting four separate NHS bodies (GP, local trust patient line, GP and some other regional organisation) nobody could give me a straight answer. 

 

Just fuck the fuck off with everything being shit.

[Bobby Hundreds]

Airport Carousels! Fuck me I wish I had a katana I'd knee swipe every fucker beyond the line. No one can see their bags pricks because you're blocking the fucking view and my ability to get my bag off safely you fucking swamp dwelling mutated anus pollops. Fuck you all with explosive aids.

[Bjornebye]

4 hours ago, Bobby Hundreds said:

Airport Carousels! Fuck me I wish I had a katana I'd knee swipe every fucker beyond the line. No one can see their bags pricks because you're blocking the fucking view and my ability to get my bag off safely you fucking swamp dwelling mutated anus pollops. Fuck you all with explosive aids.

Rough one? 

[lifetime fan]

Co-Op supermarket, Wadebridge, Cornwall. 
 

Ended up having to go down last minute this morning for a 104 year old lady. Just needed to do a few housekeeping bits and her food shop for the week. 
 

Her 82 year old daughter (only living relative) puts money on a prepaid card each week for her so carers can go and do her shopping for her. 
 

I go to Co-Op and get all the bits I need, go to the till, scan everything through and it won’t accept the prepaid card as a method of payment. 
 

Some cunt called Craig (turns out to be the store manager!) comes over and tells me I have too many items for the self service and can’t pay via prepaid card at that till. 
 

I politely pointed out there were no other tills open and what did he expect.
 

We then end up having a few words with me telling him to open a proper till then.

 

Dickhead tells me to not have so many items and pay via a different method. 
 

I wish I was wearing a work shirt instead of a company logo branded polo shirt as I’d have destroyed the fucking cunt. 
 

I managed to not be too disrespectful but told him in no uncertain terms I wasn’t leaving a 104 year old lady without any food for the week and he was opening a till. 
 

I also told him I was putting in a complaint to the Co-Op, they were meant to be a socially aware organisation and if that was their standard of service/care they were as bad as everyone else.
 

 Also told him I would be complaining to his managers, anyone else I could including every local newspaper and national paper that would take interest. 
 

And once no one could see the company logo what a cunt he was. 

[Section_31]

On 22/07/2023 at 11:37, Section_31 said:

The way our society has destroyed dogs as a concept.

 

I've always loved dogs. Now they're fucking everywhere and they're treated like kids.

 

They're in the pub, they're in cafes, they're providing emotional support to fat people, they're in clothes, they've got their own psychologists and food that's "good enough for people to eat" (in an age of food banks no less).

 

Everytime someone sees a dog they act like they've never seen one before. "Oh I love your dog!" What's its name? "Ultra Magnus." What breed is it? "It's a japapoo - part japanese prisoner of war and part raptor." 

 

They've got collars that give them shocks when they bark (I mean bark, just imagine it, won't someone think of the children?!). 

 

Their walking is outsourced, their training is outsourced, their holidays are outsourced to bums, by people who want a dog for the selfies and the attention but don't want to compromise on their lifestyles and generally can't be arsed.

 

Fuck off. 

 

Dogs should be companions for the family, defending the home, shitting wherever they want and eating cylindrical dollops of meat. And their names should sound like dog names.

 

Sat outside a coffee shop the other day on my phone and a pair of twats with two japanese huskies or some shit pitch up at the table next to me and start making loads of kerfuffle and looking at me as if to say 'look at our dogs'. Out of principle I just looked at my phone. You could sense the bloke psyching himself up and he goes, 'ha, heh, don't worry, he doesn't bite, very curious - just very curious!', the dog was nowhere near me at this point and in no way curious. Out or principle again, I ignored him and kept looking at my phone, then they both seemingly saw their arse and sat with their backs to me. They were in their 50s these cunts. 

 

The fuck is going on with these people? Just own a dog, enjoy your dog, stop parading around with them like nobody has ever seen a fucking dog before. Nobody gives a flying fuck about your fucking dog. And stay away from cafes. You cunt. 

[Anubis]

Wasn’t sure where to put this. Is it time to just drag all of them out of Parliament, tell them they can go and claim their pensions and fuck off, and replace them all? Fucking useless.

 

 

[Trumo]

On 14/08/2023 at 06:10, Bobby Hundreds said:

Airport Carousels! Fuck me I wish I had a katana I'd knee swipe every fucker beyond the line. No one can see their bags pricks because you're blocking the fucking view and my ability to get my bag off safely you fucking swamp dwelling mutated anus pollops. Fuck you all with explosive aids.

 

I usually hang back and let all the oiks pile on and grab their stuff because my bags are without fail the last ones to be loaded onto the carousel anyway.

[Captain Turdseye]

Flat pack furniture. Fuck off. Cunts. 
 

Redecorated my girl’s bedroom last week, all that was left was this dressing table. Got my mate round today. Bish bash bosh. 
 

It’s got one drawer, the final piece, and it’s catching on something but I can’t work out what it is. I’m ready to kick the shit out of the entire thing. Fucking fuck off. 

[VERBAL DIARRHEA]

7 minutes ago, Captain Turdseye said:

Flat pack furniture. Fuck off. Cunts. 
 

Redecorated my girl’s bedroom last week, all that was left was this dressing table. Got my mate round today. Bish bash bosh. 
 

It’s got one drawer, the final piece, and it’s catching on something but I can’t work out what it is. I’m ready to kick the shit out of the entire thing. Fucking fuck off. 

Try the screws on the draw rail.

[Captain Turdseye]

16 minutes ago, VERBAL DIARRHEA said:

Try the screws on the draw rail.

Aye, thought about that. My mate’s coming back tomorrow with some different screws. It better work or it’s going out the window. 

[VERBAL DIARRHEA]

6 minutes ago, Captain Turdseye said:

Aye, thought about that. My mate’s coming back tomorrow with some different screws. It better work or it’s going out the window. 

Good luck they’re a pain in the arse.

[sir roger]

1 hour ago, Captain Willard said:

Now I’m engaged with this. Update us tomorrow please. 

 

There's a Netflix series in this, Mark my words.

[Bobby Hundreds]

What the fuck is it with sky these days every time I want to record a bbc HD programme it will only give me it with sign language, fuck off! 

[Captain Turdseye]

On 15/10/2023 at 18:44, Captain Willard said:

Now I’m engaged with this. Update us tomorrow please. 

My mate never came back with the screws. I had my bird and my kid casing me about it so I invited the in-laws over for a coffee last night, asked her dad to bring his drill and nails. 
 

I did a great job. Nescafé, one sugar. The drawer is fixed. Ta-da. 
 

Next up is repainting and rearranging the youngest’s bedroom. Gonna get it done during half term. I’ll be back in this thread when I start getting pissed off again. There’ll be a new bedside cabinet to put together. Surely I can do that myself. Nothing could go wrong. 

[Trumo]

1 hour ago, Bobby Hundreds said:

What the fuck is it with sky these days every time I want to record a bbc HD programme it will only give me it with sign language, fuck off! 

 

They think HD stands for Hi-Def, as in 'Highly Deaf'.

[Remmie]

Entitled cunts

 

[YorkshireRed]

10 minutes ago, Remmie said:

Entitled cunts

 

I once took a girl on a date to a park bench. Clearly this kind of venue remains an acceptable courting location. 

[Pidge]

The going for a drink (coffee or pub) is weird, it just shouts "I don't want an actual relationship and aren't interested in talking to you", but in your 20s that's not too bad, at least they're honest about it. A bunch of others would be absolutely fine, if you know the other person's interests could sustain it (movie, sports etc).

 

Obv if you're going for a meal, probably best to aim a bit higher than Spoons, which I guess is the equivalent to many of these.

 

Inviting a rando from an app straight back to your house for a first date is serial killer stuff.

 

The family function one is a great idea, as long as you're the one that doesn't know anyone. Loads of random, awkward conversations and the highest expectation is that you're not too weird. It'd be like a TSOP outing.

[Section_31]

49 minutes ago, Remmie said:

Entitled cunts

 

 

She looks like Captain Klaa of the Klingon Empire. That's the first thing I'd be telling her on any date.

 

 

[Anubis]

Aren't they basically saying that they want to be taken to some posh restaurant?

[Pidge]

21 minutes ago, Anubis said:

Aren't they basically saying that they want to be taken to some posh restaurant?

Ten mile hike, I think.

[Preston Red]

According to one of my mates, his daughter is "seeing someone" but they aren't official as they have to be in contact for 3 months and then the lad has to ask the girl out.

[Trumo]

7 hours ago, Remmie said:

Entitled cunts

 

 

Fully expected to see "up the arse" on that list.

[Bjornebye]

2 minutes ago, Trumo said:

 

Fully expected to see "up the arse" on that list.

 

Some prefer it. 

[Section_31]

People who fucking yap. I've got about three people who regularly phone me  through work and the absolute bare minimum phone call length is 20 minutes a time, it can go as high as an hour+. The actual 'work' content of the call is about five minutes or less, and the rest is one way chewing the fat. I actually have to factor whether or not I'm going to answer the phone to them into my day, as if I've got to go out somewhere I can't take the call. One person rang me once and in the time I was on the phone just listening to them talk, I ate my dinner - had a shit - and drove all the way to town to meet a mate.