Have a rant thread

[Liverpool lad]

Christmas do's...

 

I remember one witty poster summed this situation up brilliantly with the organisor having "desperate eyes" when hoping that all are enjoying themselves...when they clearly,are not!

 

 

I have to avoid two work Christmas nights out, and have my excuses well prepared. The effort you have to go through to do it is amazing.

 

The official one has been swerved by most people and it is when my brother is home from the army, top excuse that cannot be questioned.

 

The second one is an informal affair with a couple of teams hitting the ale, and looks like it has the potential to be quite a big piss up. I do like the people I work with, but I don't think drinking with them is a great idea especially if it looks like a bit of messy one. Going to use being ill or having visitors up for swerving this one

[Liverpool lad]

 

You clearly dont work in the public sector. In all the jobs I've ever had you pay your own way to go out with people' date=' half of whom dont really want to be there, to eat food that's thrown at you as the harrassed staff try to get everyone's food out in time, there'll be those who have to dissect the bill as they weren't drinking and dont want to pay for a thing they didnt consume themselves and if the meal is taken at lunch/dinner time you have to take leave. What's not to like![/quote']

 

This woman knows

[Stu Monty]

Christmas do's...

 

I remember one witty poster summed this situation up brilliantly with the organisor having "desperate eyes" when hoping that all are enjoying themselves...when they clearly,are not!

 

I think I've mentioned something like that before. People who keep desperately looking for confirmation of what a good time they are having and as such how their social life isn't a complete barren wasteland:

 

"This is great isn't it...really great...are you having a great time because I think this is fantastic...they've got loads of different foods and you can pick any you want, it's brilliant...we're having such a good time!"

 

Yeah, it's a fucking buffet restaurant, it's okay at best, fuck off mithering me you sad fuck.

 

Often, but not always, middle-aged women.

[Stu Monty]

Me and a few of the lads at work have a xmas drink but keep it on the downlow. People get a bit iffy when you clarify that you're not going on the main one because you can't stand them and would rather spend an evening with a hand-picked crew of non-mongs.

[Pony Princess]

"This is great isn't it...really great...are you having a great time because I think this is fantastic...they've got loads of different foods and you can pick any you want, it's brilliant...we're having such a good time!"

 

I remember years ago when I was going out with a girl and I was thinking of splitting up with her. We were having a meal in town and after listening to her inane babbling about shit I couldn't give a fuck about, she looked around the restaurant and said 'This is nice, isn't it?'

 

We split up soon after.

[dickie mint]

All the lads on the ale all day,lap dancers and a Chinese,cab home bladderd,day out sorted.

[Champ]

Me and a few of the lads at work have a xmas drink but keep it on the downlow. People get a bit iffy when you clarify that you're not going on the main one because you can't stand them and would rather spend an evening with a hand-picked crew of non-mongs.

 

We're doing that too next Thursday lunchtime in a nice restaurant with a carefully chosen group of like-minded people. No paper hats, no forced jollity. I'm not a miserable sod..I just know what I like

[Pony Princess]

Got an email from the management in this place the other day inviting us to the 'Casino Christmas party'.

 

We were made up - company christmas party at the casino would be boss. But wait.... we read the email.

 

They are actually inviting us to a 'casino-themed' party, where they will have 'casino-themed' fun games where you can win prizes.

 

NOPE

NOPE

NOPE

NOT GOING

[A Red]

Meals out when theres a group of you and the greedy, mouthy, tight twats that suggest the billed is lumped into one and divided equally. Said twats proceed to order the most expensive starter, sweets, mains and drinks.

 

If you try to suggest that we all pay our own bills they try to imply youre tight. I aint tight, I'm fucking happy to pay in full for what i consume unlike you, you fucking bellend!!!

[Lee909]

Sounds shite that.

 

Luckily we don't do parties.

The site we work on does but we can't go and our company does fuck all.Last year about 5 of us went bowling and had a few drinks and a meal but that won't be happening as 2 of them can't stand each other and one has turned into a prick.

 

Happy days

 

Lee's party will be me,Bourbon and a Xbox

[Pony Princess]

Lee's party will be me,Bourbon and a Xbox

 

That's my kind of party.

[A Red]

Whilst on the subject of paying your way...... blokes that begrudge getting their round in.

 

4 of you sit there staring at your glass with about 1/2" of ale in it whilst the boring twats whose round it is sits there with his pint half full droning on about the fucking grouting hes done in his bathroom at the weekend. When you suggest he gets to the bar he makes a big thing of it as if you were some sort of miser.

 

Fucking shut up and next time dont suggest we go in rounds you bastard!

[Harry Squatter]

I think there is a mingebag thread on here with some quality stories of people doing as much as possible to avoid buying a round

[General Dryness]

That's my kind of party.

 

Lee, get your coat, you've pulled.

[Rico1304]

When people are describing someone another person likes (or indeed themselves) and assign ownership - so

'Steve likes his football' or 'Dave like his music' IT'S NOT FUCKING HIS!!!!

 

I know this is irrational but it really winds me up.

 

I've also been going to ante-natal classes someone has got my wife pregnant and they constantly refer to 'baby', not 'your baby' or 'the baby' and that fucking annoys me too. So, the woman will say 'Baby needs to be fed 6 times a day' or 'You'll need to take nappies to hospital for baby'

[Champ]

When people are describing someone another person likes (or indeed themselves) and assign ownership - so

'Steve likes his football' or 'Dave like his music' IT'S NOT FUCKING HIS!!!!

 

I know this is irrational but it really winds me up.

 

I've also been going to ante-natal classes someone has got my wife pregnant and they constantly refer to 'baby', not 'your baby' or 'the baby' and that fucking annoys me too. So, the woman will say 'Baby needs to be fed 6 times a day' or 'You'll need to take nappies to hospital for baby'

And just wait until they start calling you 'Dad'......That used to drive me up the wall. I've got a name!

[Section_31]

Lorry drivers. Utter scum. Had one tailgating me last week, about three foot from the back of my car, beeping and flashing me because he wanted to pass, even though I was doing 65-70 in the middle lane. Kept his lights on full beam for about five seconds trying to dazzle me. I slipped behind him and followed him for a whle, I was seriously plannng to follow him and kick shit out of him, but he went down the M6 toward Birmingham, it was Friday and I thought 'er, nah'.

[Sugar Ape]

And just wait until they start calling you 'Dad'......That used to drive me up the wall. I've got a name!

 

I'm not surprised you were offended if they were calling you ' Dad. '

[jonnybastard]

Lorry drivers. Utter scum. Had one tailgating me last week, about three foot from the back of my car, beeping and flashing me because he wanted to pass, even though I was doing 65-70 in the middle lane. Kept his lights on full beam for about five seconds trying to dazzle me. I slipped behind him and followed him for a whle, I was seriously plannng to follow him and kick shit out of him, but he went down the M6 toward Birmingham, it was Friday and I thought 'er, nah'.

 

Lorries are restricted to 56 mph. Why were you driving in the overtaking lane at

[jonnybastard]

Lorry drivers. Utter scum. Had one tailgating me last week, about three foot from the back of my car, beeping and flashing me because he wanted to pass, even though I was doing 65-70 in the middle lane. Kept his lights on full beam for about five seconds trying to dazzle me. I slipped behind him and followed him for a whle, I was seriously plannng to follow him and kick shit out of him, but he went down the M6 toward Birmingham, it was Friday and I thought 'er, nah'.

 

Lorries are restricted to 56 mph. Why were you driving in the overtaking lane at such a low speed?

[Section_31]

Lorries are restricted to 56 mph. Why were you driving in the overtaking lane at

 

In rush hour on the 62 you drive wherever you can find space. Regardless, I've been stuck behind cars I've wanted to get past but have not driven up their arse trying to blind them, the cunt quite literally could have killed me. Tends to be the mindset of lorry drivers though, i.e I'm in a big wagon I don't even need to wear a belt, fuck everyone.

[VladimirIlyich]

Lorries are restricted to 56 mph. Why were you driving in the overtaking lane at

 

I didnt realise that,are you sure its only 56 and does this apply to all UK lorries?

[jonnybastard]

All HGV's in the EU are restricted to 90 kph, which is 56 mph in the UK. The actual speed limit is 60 mph, but that's no longer achievable. There can be a 1 mph variation between different vehicles, which means the cunts are always overtaking each other, but a wagon can't bum you at 70 mph.

[Pony Princess]

In rush hour on the 62 you drive wherever you can find space. Regardless, I've been stuck behind cars I've wanted to get past but have not driven up their arse trying to blind them, the cunt quite literally could have killed me. Tends to be the mindset of lorry drivers though, i.e I'm in a big wagon I don't even need to wear a belt, fuck everyone.

 

It could have had a bomb on it, whereby the truck was full of orphan children and would explode if it went below 65mph.

 

You know, like that film, 'Speed'.

[Unrighteous]

Lorry drivers. Utter scum. Had one tailgating me last week, about three foot from the back of my car, beeping and flashing me because he wanted to pass, even though I was doing 65-70 in the middle lane. Kept his lights on full beam for about five seconds trying to dazzle me. I slipped behind him and followed him for a whle, I was seriously plannng to follow him and kick shit out of him, but he went down the M6 toward Birmingham, it was Friday and I thought 'er, nah'.