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Sugar Ape

Have a rant thread

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Musicals.

I fucking hate them. Grown men poncing around overacting and especially having conversations in song. Meowing at each other and acting like complete twats. Been to see (dragged) three or four and hated every single one. Oklahoma and Chicago I was allowed to leave her on her own and go for a few pints half way through they were so bad.

Anyone that likes musicals has aids.

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Musicals.

I fucking hate them. Grown men poncing around overacting and especially having conversations in song. Meowing at each other and acting like complete twats. Been to see (dragged) three or four and hated every single one. Oklahoma and Chicago I was allowed to leave her on her own and go for a few pints half way through they were so bad.

Anyone that likes musicals has aids.

 

You MUST have known this was coming...

 

[YOUTUBE]5npZwUdZwnY&feature=fvst[/YOUTUBE]

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Guest Slim(fast)Shady

Staples!

 

Ok they are a great invention but you get no doubt some stropped up bird thats gone mad with the stapler hammering in about 5 or 6 in a pile of paper....irritating!

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Women stuffing their fat faces with food all day then putting sweeteners or skimmed milk in their drink

 

Haha!

Or getting a diet coke with a big mac.

 

 

You beat me to it, Vlad.......and its those same women who go on and on about the next new diet they've just started. They're always on a diet

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I saw a twat on the train yesterday that made me want to eat my head.

 

Obviosuly just got back from travelling as he was wearing some sort of hoody thing with the flag og Laos on it. He also had bare feet. In the bistro car. Bare feet. He was wearing skinny jeans but they weren't pulled up, they hung down under his arse. I don't mean a bit, I mean the top of the jeans was under the lower part of his arse. He also had neck tattoos. i might try and track him down and beat him to death with a shoe.

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Kids Play Centres. Everytime I take my little girl to play, I actively engage with her by going on the slides, climb the frames and generally ensure she's safe or not causing any mischief. Always, always there are little kids on their lonesome crying out for attention and if you give them any they will follow you like the plague. Now Its not the kids fault that their parents would rather sit gossiping or reading a paper with a brew than pay their child any attention. You then have the paid child minders who bring their herd of work (3 or more kids) and let them run riot whilst they play on their phones, these lazy bitches get paid about 40 per child and sit on their arses doing fuck all, If I was one of the childs parents and realised how little these bitches did I would fuck them off pronto.

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I saw a twat on the train yesterday that made me want to eat my head.

 

Obviosuly just got back from travelling as he was wearing some sort of hoody thing with the flag og Laos on it. He also had bare feet. In the bistro car. Bare feet. He was wearing skinny jeans but they weren't pulled up, they hung down under his arse. I don't mean a bit, I mean the top of the jeans was under the lower part of his arse. He also had neck tattoos. i might try and track him down and beat him to death with a shoe.

 

I would like to add that the bloke was at least 30.

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Kids Play Centres. Everytime I take my little girl to play, I actively engage with her by going on the slides, climb the frames and generally ensure she's safe or not causing any mischief. Always, always there are little kids on their lonesome crying out for attention and if you give them any they will follow you like the plague. Now Its not the kids fault that their parents would rather sit gossiping or reading a paper with a brew than pay their child any attention. You then have the paid child minders who bring their herd of work (3 or more kids) and let them run riot whilst they play on their phones, these lazy bitches get paid about 40 per child and sit on their arses doing fuck all, If I was one of the childs parents and realised how little these bitches did I would fuck them off pronto.

 

Next week - kids' slides are not wide enough for my arse and people are staring at me.

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Kids Play Centres. Everytime I take my little girl to play, I actively engage with her by going on the slides, climb the frames and generally ensure she's safe or not causing any mischief. Always, always there are little kids on their lonesome crying out for attention and if you give them any they will follow you like the plague. Now Its not the kids fault that their parents would rather sit gossiping or reading a paper with a brew than pay their child any attention. You then have the paid child minders who bring their herd of work (3 or more kids) and let them run riot whilst they play on their phones, these lazy bitches get paid about 40 per child and sit on their arses doing fuck all, If I was one of the childs parents and realised how little these bitches did I would fuck them off pronto.

Not really a rant against Play Centres, was it?....just a place that brings you into direct contact with lazy parenting/carers. I had a similar experience yesterday in a hospital waiting area watching 2 young women with a child of about 2 years old who go no attention from them at all (busy on their phones) except when she moved away from them (probably looking for something to entertain herself with) 'Leave that door alone! Do you want me to put you behind it?....Come back here! Do you want your nails done? (couldnt believe that one!) Utterly depressing stuff

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I have a woman in the office, who is always complaining that she is skint, yet she goes out for lunch everyday, is always buying clothes and I'm sure she's partly to blame for Starbucks having such high profits as she's always bloody there!!!!

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I saw a twat on the train yesterday that made me want to eat my head.

 

Obviosuly just got back from travelling as he was wearing some sort of hoody thing with the flag og Laos on it. He also had bare feet. In the bistro car. Bare feet. He was wearing skinny jeans but they weren't pulled up, they hung down under his arse. I don't mean a bit, I mean the top of the jeans was under the lower part of his arse. He also had neck tattoos. i might try and track him down and beat him to death with a shoe.

 

I have to put up with this shit every day as I work at a university. I really don't want to see what undies a lad is wearing, pull the fuckers up!!!!!

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Abu Whatshisface really fucks me off. If he doesn't fancy Jordan tell him to find somewhere else. I don't care about his human rights or political niceties. Just tell the fucking fucker to fuck off.

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I have to put up with this shit every day as I work at a university. I really don't want to see what undies a lad is wearing' date=' pull the fuckers up!!!!![/quote']

 

It should come under indecent exposure laws.

 

Its not stylish,its fuckin embarrassing.

We dont have to copy everything the Yanks do.

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Whilst we are talking queues, I hate those little cub scout bastards who sit at the end of the tills and pack for you every Christmas or Sunday or whenever they need a new fucking clubhouse.

 

No-one seems to get my anger towards them but I hate the fact that most of the time I pay by card and I end up having to swerve a perfectly empty till point they're orbiting for a busier one or worse still apologise to them for having fuck all money in advance like some weak, pathetic cunt that can't stare down a pre-teen.

 

You even have to fake pat down your own pockets to make it appear you're desperately searching for a mystery pound which you know in your heart of hearts is never there. Yet you have to go through the same charade every time just to appear to be a citizen.

 

I want an opt in service, not an opt out one that makes me look like a tight ass to everyone else in the queue. All of them condemning me with their eyes because they had the foresight to bring a fifty pence piece because they knew the expectant twats might be in this week. I end up feeling bad that they had to open up the shitty, impossible to open bags and put my one item in there for nothing. I wasn't even going to take a bag for it.

 

And just how fucking bad it is when you're doing a proper shop, especially around Christmas. Hundreds of items and their labour wasted. A fifty pound kid lifting a twenty pound Turkey isn't cool. Half of them couldn't manage a 1L Ribena Toothkind. Makes me feel like downsizing to a mere drumstick or getting some fairy cake paper cases just to give him something he can manage. And when he can't, he may even have to call over one of the adults on day release after serving his Operation Ore sentence. But then again they're so old they'll crumble to dust at the very hint of a bit of lifting.

 

Then, when you didn't think it could get any worse, the cashier asks me if I want cashback right after I'm done apologising for having none. Bitch should fucking whisper that shit or throw out a signal. The woggle wearing fuckers eyes light up as if they're going to get a crisp give pound note out of this, especially after seeing my Platinum Card sticking out of the payment machine. As if that'll save Timmy from getting hoop fingered by the Arkala.

 

I now tend to make a point of buying some pretty outlandish items when I know they're in to embarrass them and the girlfriend. Pick one of the scavvy little fuckers that still has a little innocence about them and roll some condoms and cucumbers down the conveyer belt. Throw a durex pleasure lube in there and see how eager they are to do me a community service.

 

My only hope is that the planets all align and I happen to bring my once yearly collection of coins to use in one of those change machines that take ten percent. If ever that happens I'll buy the help of all of them as a collective. I want to be carried out of the store like a rock legend surfing a crowd.

 

Bastards, there again today. Shouldn't be getting shaken down when shopping.

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People who ask if they can go in front of me in the super market because they only have 2 items and I am doing a big shop. No you fucking can't.

 

My 80 year old mum had some wee scote try to push through in the Express lane by saying "mind if I go through, I haven't got much time"

"You've got a bloody sight more than I have son"

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Kids Play Centres. Everytime I take my little girl to play, I actively engage with her by going on the slides, climb the frames and generally ensure she's safe or not causing any mischief. Always, always there are little kids on their lonesome crying out for attention and if you give them any they will follow you like the plague. Now Its not the kids fault that their parents would rather sit gossiping or reading a paper with a brew than pay their child any attention. You then have the paid child minders who bring their herd of work (3 or more kids) and let them run riot whilst they play on their phones, these lazy bitches get paid about 40 per child and sit on their arses doing fuck all, If I was one of the childs parents and realised how little these bitches did I would fuck them off pronto.

 

Couldn't have said it better myself. I follow my kid around too, basically for the same reason you've just said: to make sure he doesn't do anything he's not supposed to. So after every time my kid goes for a toy or a slide another child's playing with - and I warn him that's not really his - he then looks at me and wonders why no-one's telling off the child who's then stealing toys and slides off him. Because it's not my child, I don't want to say anything. But to see the look my kid gives me when this happens, it breaks my fucking heart. And the parents/carers/life-givers are absolutely nowhere to be seen. One of these days if it happens again I'm probably gonna go postal and end up pile-driving one of the fuckers. All because the parents see playcentres as some sort of communal babysitting service. I honestly don't believe some people deserve to be parents.

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I saw a twat on the train yesterday that made me want to eat my head.

 

Obviosuly just got back from travelling as he was wearing some sort of hoody thing with the flag og Laos on it. He also had bare feet. In the bistro car. Bare feet. He was wearing skinny jeans but they weren't pulled up, they hung down under his arse. I don't mean a bit, I mean the top of the jeans was under the lower part of his arse. He also had neck tattoos. i might try and track him down and beat him to death with a shoe.

 

The shoe is too good for this bastard. Feet first into a woodchipper for this fucking villain!

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It really ruffles my jimmies when I see drivers with those 'hilarious' eyelashes on their car headlights.

 

Gayest thing I've seen in ages. Also, anyone with cute stickers in the window like 'worlds best grandparent' or 'little angel on board' can fuck off too.

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