Have a rant thread

[Section_31]

Chester, half the population are scum, the other half think they're famous - the place needs the Marcus Agrippa treatment, again.

 

People bringing babies into work, just fuck off. "ooh do you know who he looks like?" "His dad?" "No, every other baby I've ever seen, right down to the bald head and shit-your-pants expression."

[Section_31]

Teenagers just making strange noises and screaming. It's all they do these days, just act mental. I reckon it's a Facebook thing, they're that used to seeking attention that they can't be without it, even when they're at a bus stop or some shit. They constantly act like they're on fire, screaming, laughing and just making strange fucking noises.

[Section_31]

Trick or treat' date=' FUCK OFF, you Americanised pre pubescent bastard, sing the Halloween's coming on song or else your getting fuck all.[/quote']

 

People using everything now as an excuse to get pissed on supermarket booze and post pictures of it on Facebook.

 

"It's Hallowe'en, let's get dressed up in fancy dress, bring your own booze and we'll take some snaps."

 

It's the World Cup, we'll have a world cup party, put an England shirt on bring your own booze and we'll take some pics.

 

It's the Olympics etc etc

 

It's the American election, etc etc.

[jonnybastard]

Fucking nobhead at work, despite being half my age and with a fraction of my experience, he still feels the need to advise me on whatever I'm doing, and in the most patronising way. Today I was marking some steel to cut with a stihl saw, and sure enough the nobhead comes over,

Nobhead- "how are you cutting that?"

Me- "eh?"

Nobhead- "well there's your line, where are you going to cut?"

Me- "just below your fucking chin"

It's not just me either, he does it with everyone. He's like that 'you don't wanna do it like that' character off harry enfield. First chance I get, the fuckers going to fall down some stairs.

[Nasty Lizard]

Those fucking TV programmes where they have some bastard doing twatting sign language. The cunt doing the signing will be taking up only 0.00001% less of the screen than the actual programme I'm supposedly watching, and I can't fucking concentrate because of the cunt who's hand are flapping around like some mong playing charades.

 

It you have to have programmes for the deaf, use subtitles.

And make the text really fucking small. If it intrudes, i'm turning it off.

 

If you have to have sign language. Do it in your own time.

 

Twats.

[Harry Squatter]

People paying for their pay as you go phones in newsagents because they can't be arsed going to an actual phone shop. The machines uses to swipe them take fucking ages and hold everyone up in the shop who just wants to buy a fucking paper and get to work.

[coops_lfc]

The BBC continuing to have Kelvin MacKenzie on their program's, ironically it was 'would I lie to you'. Now it may have been a repeat (I'm not sure) but after all the truth that has come out recently its obscene and a total fuck you to the fans and family of the 96. If they are consistent they'll dig up Saville for a Christmas TOTP's or Freddie Starr chatting about his beloved Everton Football Club on MOTD2.

[Unrighteous]

Those fucking TV programmes where they have some bastard doing twatting sign language. The cunt doing the signing will be taking up only 0.00001% less of the screen than the actual programme I'm supposedly watching, and I can't fucking concentrate because of the cunt who's hand are flapping around like some mong playing charades.

 

It you have to have programmes for the deaf, use subtitles.

And make the text really fucking small. If it intrudes, i'm turning it off.

 

If you have to have sign language. Do it in your own time.

 

Twats.

 

[Bobby Hundreds]

All the bands and musicians and singer songwriters the British isles produces and one direction is the fucking thing that breaks the states. Humans are shit.

[Guest Slim(fast)Shady]

Coffee...

 

ok fine when you get the poncy folk that wish to pay £3-£4 for a cup of the stuff all stuck in the same poncy place as i never frequent them...Costas and the like with their "one shot or 2 chilatte" bollocks..

 

But what i hate is places that are not coffee shops that do coffee...'Wetherspoons is a great offender....your in there with your mates and want a round of beers only for some twat to order a coffee whereby the barmaid has to take about 20 minutes preparing it...for £0.89p!

 

But now Greggs has started...just queued for my meal deal only for what looked like the office temp getting a round of coffees....queue was building and the as the Gregg staff member did the honours....so my message is this...

 

If you can't afford a coffee shop then pound shop will do you a jar of maxwell house and a pitcher of milk...make your own! Leave the non-coffee shops alone....it pisses people off no end when you want a pint/or a pasty...and some idiot wants a coffee because it looks sophistcated in a poncy cup!

[Lee909]

Beard itch

 

Winter is slowly coming and though I'm not a soft test who cried because its below 10c I have decided its beard wether.Well I decided that 3 weeks ago.

Well it's itching like fuck and I feel the need to scratch like mangy bear.

[Trumo]

Peyton & Byrne. Now don't get me wrong, their pies and cakes are fucking great, but if you order a pie, NEVER say yes when they offer to heat it up for you. The time it takes for them to reheat an already made pie would be better spent making you a fresh one.

[Fowlers God]

The twat that sits opposite me in work- my desk, my computer, his desk, his computer is in between us and I can still smell his fucking breath.

 

Also he is about 28stone his t shirt doesn't match to his trousers, which also are ripped at the top of his thighs cause he too fucking fat- either brush your teeth and cut down on your porklife mate or get some fucking new clothes you fat cunter.

[Sut]

People who stand far too close to you when behind you in a queue and constantly touch your back with either themselves or a bag or whatever.

 

Then, when you move forward, they move forward just as much so as to maintain the smallest possible gap between you and them in the queue...

 

Let a gap open up in front of you to wind them up.

[Magic Sponge]

Vending machines.

 

Why do these box of cunts always spit out the last coin you put in. You then have to resort to either firing the coin in as hard as you can or ejecting all of your change to start again.

[cochyn]

Shitbags at gigs who record the whole show on their fucking phones. Wastes of space: they fucking stand there, motionless, thinking they're Tarantino on a mission to record the official DVD. When in fact they're friendless misanthropes who can't wait for the gig to end so they can scurry to their hovels and 'podcast' the show on some fucking blog or some such shit.

 

And this is the real shitter - they get PROPER fucked off should you nudge them by you know, dancing or some other irrational movement.

 

Gig filmers - Thinking of going to a gig? Don't. Stay at fucking home and let a grateful punter have your ticket you fucking scowling, joyless retard.

[Section_31]

'mates' trying to scav lifts when they've got family who drive, and never contact you anymore for any other reason.

 

The fact British men now only dress for extreme weather. From March to september they wear shorts and flip flops regardless, from September to March they dress like Captain Scott.

[Guest davelfc]

Vending machines.

 

Why do these box of cunts always spit out the last coin you put in. You then have to resort to either firing the coin in as hard as you can or ejecting all of your change to start again.

 

 

There are worse things they can do.

[Moctezuma]

Shitbags at gigs who record the whole show on their fucking phones. Wastes of space: they fucking stand there, motionless, thinking they're Tarantino on a mission to record the official DVD. When in fact they're friendless misanthropes who can't wait for the gig to end so they can scurry to their hovels and 'podcast' the show on some fucking blog or some such shit.

 

And this is the real shitter - they get PROPER fucked off should you nudge them by you know, dancing or some other irrational movement.

 

Gig filmers - Thinking of going to a gig? Don't. Stay at fucking home and let a grateful punter have your ticket you fucking scowling, joyless retard.

 

This is so bang on. It is seriously irritating, people seem to live some second hand existence these days through Facebook and twiter. I really just want to accost them and say " see that band up on stage? they are playing now for you to enjoy now! Not in fucking three days time when you upload it and all your fucking bellend friends are clicking the like button on Facebook. If you're that bothered just buy the fucking DVD and edit it.".

 

Plus cochyn you're right they have the temerity to complain if they've been nudged “you know what Spielberg how about I take your phone put it on the floor and dance all over whilst I'm enjoying the music".

[Karl_b]

Shitbags at gigs who record the whole show on their fucking phones. Wastes of space: they fucking stand there, motionless, thinking they're Tarantino on a mission to record the official DVD. When in fact they're friendless misanthropes who can't wait for the gig to end so they can scurry to their hovels and 'podcast' the show on some fucking blog or some such shit.

 

And this is the real shitter - they get PROPER fucked off should you nudge them by you know, dancing or some other irrational movement.

 

Gig filmers - Thinking of going to a gig? Don't. Stay at fucking home and let a grateful punter have your ticket you fucking scowling, joyless retard.

 

Amen brother, I absolutely hate it.

 

When the Prof and I saw Bright Eyes at the Albert Hall there were very few phones about but one chump in front of us decided to get his out at one point, bang in front of us he was. There was a great shout of "Put your fucking phone away you cunt!" from behind us, at which point he sheepishly did, never to be seen again. Quality work.

 

Same applies to people who spend the whole gig stood in the crowd talking and taking photos, often with their back to the stage. Only there because they think it's cool twats.

[Pidge]

During the Pure Love set I went to recently (Live Review: Pure Love – Exeter, The Cavern – 25/10/12 | Hit The Floor Magazine) Frank Carter was taking the piss out of the video makers, then they finished the set by setting up on the dancefloor for the last song and every fucker was filming it (part of the plan considering they are trying to build - much deserved because they are awesome - hype) but the most annoying thing is that I can't find any of the fucking videos! Useless pricks, can't even upload to youtube...

 

My opinion is the same as at f**tball, take a photo if you really want one, but do it and then put it away.

[Karl_b]

The quality is usually absolutely garbage too, the result is that Youtube is clogged up with this shit and you can't find what you're actually looking for.

[Paulie Dangerously]

People who ask if they can go in front of me in the super market because they only have 2 items and I am doing a big shop. No you fucking can't.

[Acid]

There's this lad in uni who keeps trying to be friends with all of the tutors. Can't stand it. He always sits at the front of the room in lectures and constantly buts in with his opinion on stuff, or asking if the tutor has seen something.

 

I handed some work in on friday for a monday deadline the other week so I got to get the later bus in to uni rather than rush in on monday morning to hand it in, I was the only one who did that and the bus was empty from our course, only this other chump who decided to sit on the same row but opposite side. I had my headphones on and was enjoying the cornish countryside along the journey when he waves about 3 inches from my face. I took my headphones off and he asks for a pen.

 

Bearing in mind this was before I thought he was an arsehole, I gave him a pen and tried to talk to him to see if I could get to know another person on my course than just give him the pen then blank him. I asked him about 6-7 questions about his work, the course, where he's from, he ignored most of them and gave one word answers to the others.

 

Then on friday Im sat on the bus waiting to go back to our halls and the bus is stopped in the middle of town where all the busses stop to begin the journeys again, about 10-15 people waiting to get on, I see this same lad again running to catch it. He can see there's a queue, the bus wasn't about to leave. I just don't understand his behaviour and for no obvious reason, I hate him for it. I barely know his name.

[brucespanner]

There's this lad in uni who keeps trying to be friends with all of the tutors. Can't stand it. He always sits at the front of the room in lectures and constantly buts in with his opinion on stuff, or asking if the tutor has seen something.

 

Trust me the lecturer hates these cunts *Taps nose*