Have a rant thread

[Lee909]

16 minutes ago, Bjornebye said:

"grass grasses on lack of grass"

 

Put a Black Lives Matter flag up. 

 

 

He's got enough problems with the grass, a burning cross on the lawn won't help

[Bjornebye]

7 minutes ago, Lee909 said:

 

 

He's got enough problems with the grass, a burning cross on the lawn won't help

True. 

 

Get a crocodile mate, mind you I say get one you've probably got one under the house you don't know about. 

[Elite]

Ne Moe's missus after the last batch of weeding...

 

[A Red]

1 hour ago, Mook said:

I don't understand the concept of a 'Homeowner's Association'.

 

How can someone fine you for not having a nice garden, it's your fucking garden surely? 

My brother in law lives in San Diego and it is compulsory to be part of and pay for the homeowners association. Amongst other things it determines what colour your house is and the type of trees and plants they have.

 

The one thing that boils my piss is that they are not allowed washing lines outside so everyone uses tumble dryers. Fucking ridiculous in a climate like theirs.

[Trumo]

9 hours ago, VladimirIlyich said:

It could be worse. I could have been her crap!

 

Be a job and a half (pun intended) to fit you in the potty.

[VladimirIlyich]

31 minutes ago, Trumo said:

 

Be a job and a half (pun intended) to fit you in the potty.

Bloody sausage fingers(no pun intended,or was it?)

 

 

[dockers_strike]

Ah, fuck me, Im becoming more like Victor every day.

 

At the local Asda, put the shopping in the boot and just about to reverse out of the space when middle aged woman attempts to park next to us. She nearly took the side of the car off as she came in. Then she reverses about 2 foot, drives forwards again and wonders why she is even closer to the car!

 

If the old girl hadnt been in the car Id have put the window down and asked her what the fuck was she trying to do, reverse out straight and try again! Eventually she gestures to the old girl you reverse out so I can park! Fuck me!

 

And why the fuck are tools panicking and filling up today before this E10 petrol goes on sale? Every fuel station we passed, well, ok, all 3 of them, had queues when normally they just have 1 or 2 cars if any filling up.

 

The fucking eejits probably dont realise they've been filling up with E5 regularly for the last couple of years and anyway, what fuel do they think they're going to use when their current tank full is used?

 

Unless your car was built before 2000, E10 wont make a difference to it.

[Rico1304]

5 hours ago, dockers_strike said:

Ah, fuck me, Im becoming more like Victor every day.

 

At the local Asda, put the shopping in the boot and just about to reverse out of the space when middle aged woman attempts to park next to us. She nearly took the side of the car off as she came in. Then she reverses about 2 foot, drives forwards again and wonders why she is even closer to the car!

 

If the old girl hadnt been in the car Id have put the window down and asked her what the fuck was she trying to do, reverse out straight and try again! Eventually she gestures to the old girl you reverse out so I can park! Fuck me!

 

And why the fuck are tools panicking and filling up today before this E10 petrol goes on sale? Every fuel station we passed, well, ok, all 3 of them, had queues when normally they just have 1 or 2 cars if any filling up.

 

The fucking eejits probably dont realise they've been filling up with E5 regularly for the last couple of years and anyway, what fuel do they think they're going to use when their current tank full is used?

 

Unless your car was built before 2000, E10 wont make a difference to it.

Will it taste any different? Few on here might be moaning tomorrow. 

[Dr Nowt]

The fucking airshow.

 

Noisy, tedious, samey bollocks, which people treat like it's the most exciting thing they've ever clapped eyes on, no matter how many times they've seen it. Absolutely rammed everywhere, roads chocker, beaches a no-go zone, men in the football shirt of a provincial, league 2 club, wandering about in sock and sandals, looking like a sunburnt scotch egg-on-legs.

'Ooooh, it's so amazing, look how AMAZING they all look!' It happens every summer, mate. If they were spraying us all with bullets as they boomed overhead, obliterating the peace and tranquility of a perfect late summer afternoon, granted...they would have my undivided attention. They're not, and they've been at this shit relentlessly since Thursday. You aren't six, why is it still wowing you to this degree, four days in? Also, you look like someone poured you into that fluorescent swimsuit and you forgot to say when. Please put more clothes on, this isn't Rio de Janeiro.  

 

'Oooooh, look, Biggles nonce is wandering about on the wing like he found a fucking lion in his cockpit, mid-air'. Same as last time, and the year before that, and the year before that, and the year before that.

 

Big planes. Flying fast. COSMIC.

 

Even I think I'm being a miserable, joyless cunt, but fuck me the shit, offensive sound of it makes me want to drown kittens. And not just as an act of mercy, sparing them from an unspeakable ordeal at Stig's hands. 

[Section_31]

5 minutes ago, Justice Negs said:

The fucking airshow.

 

Noisy, tedious, samey bollocks, which people treat like it's the most exciting thing they've ever clapped eyes on, no matter how many times they've seen it. Absolutely rammed everywhere, roads chocker, beaches a no-go zone, men in the football shirt of a provincial, league 2 club, wandering about in sock and sandals, looking like a sunburnt scotch egg-on-legs.

'Ooooh, it's so amazing, look how AMAZING they all look!' It happens every summer, mate. If they were spraying us all with bullets as they boomed overhead, obliterating the peace and tranquility of a perfect late summer afternoon, granted...they would have my undivided attention. They're not, and they've been at this shit relentlessly since Thursday. You aren't six, why is it still wowing you to this degree, four days in? Also, you look like someone poured you into that fluorescent swimsuit and you forgot to say when. Please put more clothes on, this isn't Rio de Janeiro.  

 

'Oooooh, look, Biggles nonce is wandering about on the wing like he found a fucking lion in his cockpit, mid-air'. Same as last time, and the year before that, and the year before that, and the year before that.

 

Big planes. Flying fast. COSMIC.

 

Even I think I'm being a miserable, joyless cunt, but fuck me the shit, offensive sound of it makes me want to drown kittens. And not just as an act of mercy, sparing them from an unspeakable ordeal at Stig's hands. 

 

Ha.

 

This echoes something I said a while back, not about air shows as such, but that since the social media age everyone has to go to an 'event', especially if it's free.

 

Bommie night, tall ships, the giants, stuff that in yesteryear might have attracted smaller crowds are now so crowded so as you'd rather not go.

[Harry Squatter]

31 minutes ago, Section_31 said:

 

Ha.

 

This echoes something I said a while back, not about air shows as such, but that since the social media age everyone has to go to an 'event', especially if it's free.

 

Bommie night, tall ships, the giants, stuff that in yesteryear might have attracted smaller crowds are now so crowded so as you'd rather not go.

I must be the only person on my Facebook or Instagram who hasn't been up to the top of Moel Famau. 

[Harry Squatter]

1 hour ago, Section_31 said:

 

Ha.

 

This echoes something I said a while back, not about air shows as such, but that since the social media age everyone has to go to an 'event', especially if it's free.

 

Bommie night, tall ships, the giants, stuff that in yesteryear might have attracted smaller crowds are now so crowded so as you'd rather not go.

Went to Crosby beach today and it was completely ranmed with people from all over the place. Loads of cunts making a mess as well. 

 

I lived in a road with the beach at the bottom of it for 25 years yet even in the summer holidays you would never see the place the way it is now. I think everyone on social media thinks it is an "in" place to go because its got a few iron statues. 

[Babb'sBurstNad]

1 hour ago, Justice Negs said:

The fucking airshow.

 

Noisy, tedious, samey bollocks, which people treat like it's the most exciting thing they've ever clapped eyes on, no matter how many times they've seen it. Absolutely rammed everywhere, roads chocker, beaches a no-go zone, men in the football shirt of a provincial, league 2 club, wandering about in sock and sandals, looking like a sunburnt scotch egg-on-legs.

'Ooooh, it's so amazing, look how AMAZING they all look!' It happens every summer, mate. If they were spraying us all with bullets as they boomed overhead, obliterating the peace and tranquility of a perfect late summer afternoon, granted...they would have my undivided attention. They're not, and they've been at this shit relentlessly since Thursday. You aren't six, why is it still wowing you to this degree, four days in? Also, you look like someone poured you into that fluorescent swimsuit and you forgot to say when. Please put more clothes on, this isn't Rio de Janeiro.  

 

'Oooooh, look, Biggles nonce is wandering about on the wing like he found a fucking lion in his cockpit, mid-air'. Same as last time, and the year before that, and the year before that, and the year before that.

 

Big planes. Flying fast. COSMIC.

 

Even I think I'm being a miserable, joyless cunt, but fuck me the shit, offensive sound of it makes me want to drown kittens. And not just as an act of mercy, sparing them from an unspeakable ordeal at Stig's hands. 

Echoes my thoughts about the weekly fireworks. 

[Bjornebye]

1 hour ago, Section_31 said:

 

Ha.

 

This echoes something I said a while back, not about air shows as such, but that since the social media age everyone has to go to an 'event', especially if it's free.

 

Bommie night, tall ships, the giants, stuff that in yesteryear might have attracted smaller crowds are now so crowded so as you'd rather not go.

Bollocks. The Tall Ships and the Giants are ace, superb for the city and great for the kids. Bommie night can fuck off. 

[manwiththestick]

37 minutes ago, Doctor Troy said:

Went to Crosby beach today and it was completely ranmed with people from all over the place. Loads of cunts making a mess as well. 

 

I lived in a road with the beach at the bottom of it for 25 years yet even in the summer holidays you would never see the place the way it is now. I think everyone on social media thinks it is an "in" place to go because its got a few iron statues. 

I've lived in the area (Liverpool/NW) over 40 years and never been to Crosby beach. I can imagine it being chocka of cunts.

[Bjornebye]

Crosby beach is stunning. Probably best to avoid the bit by the icey van after tea-time, can imagine the local wankers gather there. 

 

Fuck me I know it's the rant thread but some of you are right miserable gets. 

[Harry's Lad]

4 minutes ago, Bjornebye said:

Bollocks. The Tall Ships and the Giants are ace, superb for the city and great for the kids. Bommie night can fuck off. 

I used to love Bommy night when I was a kid. Fucking hate it now and have done since I dragged a 10 year old lad off one when I was about 17.

 

Someone had put an old mattress on the fire and when it had burned down kids being kids were running up and bouncing on the springs and this lad got his foot caught and over he went straight into the embers narrowly avoiding the main fire itself.

 

Anyway, me and a mate of mine managed to get him off and the kid, ran off screaming. He was wearing a nylon jacket and it was covered in red glowing embers which were burning in.

I ran after him and dived on him dragging him down into a large puddle, the kid got back up and ran off crying.

 

I found out who the kid was and where he lived and went round there the next day. He was very lucky, just superficial burns to his hands, a little on his face, and on his body where his jacket had melted. I reckon that puddle saved him from worse.

 

Bommy night?, They should fucking ban it.

 

[Bjornebye]

3 minutes ago, Harry's Lad said:

I used to love Bommy night when I was a kid. Fucking hate it now and have done since I dragged a 10 year old lad off one when I was about 17.

 

Someone had put an old mattress on the fire and when it had burned down kids being kids were running up and bouncing on the springs and this lad got his foot caught and over he went straight into the embers narrowly avoiding the main fire itself.

 

Anyway, me and a mate of mine managed to get him off and the kid, ran off screaming. He was wearing a nylon jacket and it was covered in red glowing embers which were burning in.

I ran after him and dived on him dragging him down into a large puddle, the kid got back up and ran off crying.

 

I found out who the kid was and where he lived and went round there the next day. He was very lucky, just superficial burns to his hands, a little on his face, and on his body where his jacket had melted. I reckon that puddle saved him from worse.

 

Bommy night?, They should fucking ban it.

 

Lucky lad, good on you. 

 

Yeah we used to build a huge bommy on the old BICC waste-ground (where the Tesco now is) in Prescot. Not quite Northern Ireland catholic burning bommys but a decent effort all the same. One of my mates dads would always supervise. There was always all sorts of stuff lying around because it was a huge derelict site but fuck me thinking back no chance I'd want my kids anywhere near it. I threw a carrier bag full of aerosol cans into it one year. That woke a few fuckers up. 

 

Now it's just dickheads trying to out do each other for 2 weeks before and two weeks after. It sounds like the blitz. They should ban the fucking things and limit it to proper organised shows for the kids. 

[Dr Nowt]

1 hour ago, Babb'sBurstNad said:

Echoes my thoughts about the weekly fireworks. 

Oh fuck yeah. My feelings towards the air show are ambivalent compared to those I harbour for the fireworks and all concerned.

[Dr Nowt]

39 minutes ago, Bjornebye said:

Fuck me I know it's the rant thread but some of you are right miserable gets. 

Says the man who's mentally sentenced people to death for chewing too loudly a carriage down.

[Harry's Lad]

18 minutes ago, Bjornebye said:

Lucky lad, good on you. 

 

Yeah we used to build a huge bommy on the old BICC waste-ground (where the Tesco now is) in Prescot. Not quite Northern Ireland catholic burning bommys but a decent effort all the same. One of my mates dads would always supervise. There was always all sorts of stuff lying around because it was a huge derelict site but fuck me thinking back no chance I'd want my kids anywhere near it. I threw a carrier bag full of aerosol cans into it one year. That woke a few fuckers up. 

 

Now it's just dickheads trying to out do each other for 2 weeks before and two weeks after. It sounds like the blitz. They should ban the fucking things and limit it to proper organised shows for the kids. 

I remember seeing that one year on the way to work. Massive.

 

Most would probably call me a misery arse, but I do genuinely hate Bommy night, it's just out of control. There's too many dickheads.

Proper organised shows are the best way to do it, with proper firework displays.

Fireworks should be banned from sale to the general public in my opinion.

[Bjornebye]

17 minutes ago, Justice Negs said:

Says the man who's mentally sentenced people to death for chewing too loudly a carriage down.

Don't even go there, it's in no way comparable. I'm sat watching a 9/11 documentary absolutely raging at the thought of some cunt chewing. Cheers 

[Tony Moanero]

 

3 hours ago, Justice Negs said:

The fucking airshow.

 

Noisy, tedious, samey bollocks, which people treat like it's the most exciting thing they've ever clapped eyes on, no matter how many times they've seen it. Absolutely rammed everywhere, roads chocker, beaches a no-go zone, men in the football shirt of a provincial, league 2 club, wandering about in sock and sandals, looking like a sunburnt scotch egg-on-legs.

'Ooooh, it's so amazing, look how AMAZING they all look!' It happens every summer, mate. If they were spraying us all with bullets as they boomed overhead, obliterating the peace and tranquility of a perfect late summer afternoon, granted...they would have my undivided attention. They're not, and they've been at this shit relentlessly since Thursday. You aren't six, why is it still wowing you to this degree, four days in? Also, you look like someone poured you into that fluorescent swimsuit and you forgot to say when. Please put more clothes on, this isn't Rio de Janeiro.  

 

'Oooooh, look, Biggles nonce is wandering about on the wing like he found a fucking lion in his cockpit, mid-air'. Same as last time, and the year before that, and the year before that, and the year before that.

 

Big planes. Flying fast. COSMIC.

 

Even I think I'm being a miserable, joyless cunt, but fuck me the shit, offensive sound of it makes me want to drown kittens. And not just as an act of mercy, sparing them from an unspeakable ordeal at Stig's hands. 

I’ve never had the inclination to go to an air show but I like provincial football club shirts and Scotch eggs, Scotch eggs more so.

[Section_31]

2 minutes ago, Tony Moanero said:

 

I’ve never had the inclination to go to an air show but I like provincial football club shirts and Scotch eggs, Scotch eggs more so.

I went to the Southport airshow about 25 years ago and it was boss, but as I posted esrlier it was probably relatively niche back then, these days it'd be like Creamfields.

[Captain Turdseye]

1 hour ago, Bjornebye said:

I threw a carrier bag full of aerosol cans into it one year. That woke a few fuckers up. 

 

Now it's just dickheads trying to out do each other