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Have a rant thread


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Airline companies. I pay extra money to choose which seats I want but they then change my flights which means I lose the seats I paid for and pretty much a whole day on holiday and to change it they want £160... er I've already paid extra for that privilege did you just pocket the money like I was handing it out for free and now want some more you cheeky cunts. At the absolute minimum you return the fucking money for not providing the service I asked for.

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4 minutes ago, Bobby Hundreds said:

Airline companies. I pay extra money to choose which seats I want but they then change my flights which means I lose the seats I paid for and pretty much a whole day on holiday and to change it they want £160... er I've already paid extra for that privilege did you just pocket the money like I was handing it out for free and now want some more you cheeky cunts. At the absolute minimum you return the fucking money for not providing the service I asked for.

Me and the Mrs had to sit next to some big unit once. She was so hefty she had a seat belt extender, I was squashed in the middle and she kept sighing all the time like I was the problem.

 

There were three empty seats in front of us by the door so she asked if she could sit there. "Yeah that'll be 20 quid". 

 

"But there's nobody in them?"

 

"Policy I'm afraid." 

 

Yeah cabin crew beer money more like it. I had to spend the rest of the flight under this heffer's armpit hoping she'd have a schizoid embolism and there wouldn't in fact, be a doctor onboard.

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Three episodes into Davils. I’m not sure what to make of it so far. Pretty much every character in it you’d happily push under a bus, except Sallie Harmsen, who plays the main protagonists wife, mainly in flashbacks. She’s cute.

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9 minutes ago, Section_31 said:

Me and the Mrs had to sit next to some big unit once. She was so hefty she had a seat belt extender, I was squashed in the middle and she kept sighing all the time like I was the problem.

 

There were three empty seats in front of us by the door so she asked if she could sit there. "Yeah that'll be 20 quid". 

 

"But there's nobody in them?"

 

"Policy I'm afraid." 

 

Yeah cabin crew beer money more like it. I had to spend the rest of the flight under this heffer's armpit hoping she'd have a schizoid embolism and there wouldn't in fact, be a doctor onboard.

I've just cancelled the holiday and got the same one for £300 cheaper and 3 nights longer so they can change what they like now I'm up on the deal regardless. The wankers.

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3 hours ago, Section_31 said:

Me and the Mrs had to sit next to some big unit once. She was so hefty she had a seat belt extender, I was squashed in the middle and she kept sighing all the time like I was the problem.

 

There were three empty seats in front of us by the door so she asked if she could sit there. "Yeah that'll be 20 quid". 

 

"But there's nobody in them?"

 

"Policy I'm afraid." 

 

Yeah cabin crew beer money more like it. I had to spend the rest of the flight under this heffer's armpit hoping she'd have a schizoid embolism and there wouldn't in fact, be a doctor onboard.

I went travelling years ago to Asia and Australia. My mate and me were booked on the same flights but he left the trip early because his bird jibbed him. Flight from Sydney to Tokyo I had a row of 3 to myself and had a proper lay down sleep across all 3. Fucking made up. Few days in Tokyo and I was looking forward to similar space from Narita to Heathrow. Not a fucking chance. My seat was at the back of the plane in a row of just two. Nobody sat there until the last fucker gets on a big huge half Aussie half Croatian thunder bastard. Sits next to me I was squashed against the window. He turned out to be hilarious and me and him ended up just helping ourselves to beers while every fucker was asleep. We were absolutely ballbagged and I tried to make him find Early Doors funny on the B.A tv thing. He didn't. Other than that he was brilliant. 

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9 hours ago, Bobby Hundreds said:

I've just cancelled the holiday and got the same one for £300 cheaper and 3 nights longer so they can change what they like now I'm up on the deal regardless. The wankers.

Was going to Lanzarote a few years back at Christmas. We booked flights with Monarch which were a rip off but the place we stayed at only had 2 apartments left so bit the bullet and paid them a year before going and then booked the apartment. Easyjet weren't releasing their flights for another six months so if we had waited we would have ended up somewhere shit.

 

Monarch went bust and then I just booked the flights with easyjet the week they came out saving about £800. 

 

They probably went bust because they were rip off cunts.

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  • 1 month later...

People who get to the end of a road and want to turn right, but do so in the middle of the lane, thus preventing me from turning left annoy me. The road widens at the end for a reason you dickhead. Every single day without fail this happens on my way home from work. Just move over to the right wide of our lane. It isn't hard. 

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On 04/02/2021 at 19:51, Section_31 said:

 

Yeah tradesmen too. Had a leaky roof once and the bloke said we needed a whole new roof and I actually started laughing at him. He actually did the whole 'worried chin rub' and everything.

 

If you're going to be a conman at least have the decency to put some effort in.

If anyone is in Liverpool and needs numbers for workies I have one for most types. Lads who have done done jobs for my family and friends for years. Roofers, sparks, plumbers, gardeners  Jack's of all trades.  Currently getting a downstairs toilet and shower fitted via some of them. Reliable, good standard and don't rip you off. Happy to share in DM

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20 minutes ago, Paulie Dangerously said:

If anyone is in Liverpool and needs numbers for workies I have one for most types. Lads who have done done jobs for my family and friends for years. Roofers, sparks, plumbers, gardeners  Jack's of all trades.  Currently getting a downstairs toilet and shower fitted via some of them. Reliable, good standard and don't rip you off. Happy to share in DM

I read this in a Nigerian accent with "many greetings" in the opening sentence.

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3 hours ago, Paulie Dangerously said:

If anyone is in Liverpool and needs numbers for workies I have one for most types. Lads who have done done jobs for my family and friends for years. Roofers, sparks, plumbers, gardeners  Jack's of all trades.  Currently getting a downstairs toilet and shower fitted via some of them. Reliable, good standard and don't rip you off. Happy to share in DM

“How do you know Paulie then?” 
 

“Paulie who?”

 

”Erm.... Dangerously?” 

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Tradesmen who automatically assume I know what the fuck they’re talking about. Same goes for Mechanics. I’m lucky that my wife is often on hand to decipher their gobbledegook but, when she isn’t, boy do they make me feel small.
 

I especially hate those who have a pencil behind their ear, it’s obviously a comment on my declining sexual powers and something I shouldn’t be subjected to in my own home. 

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48 minutes ago, YorkshireRed said:

Tradesmen who automatically assume I know what the fuck they’re talking about. Same goes for Mechanics. I’m lucky that my wife is often on hand to decipher their gobbledegook but, when she isn’t, boy do they make me feel small.
 

I especially hate those who have a pencil behind their ear, it’s obviously a comment on my declining sexual powers and something I shouldn’t be subjected to in my own home. 

You need an oil sprocket  change and your steering is careering.

You would be mental to use a plastic lintel i need to sharpen my pencil.

Your flexi flange is worn down it definitely needs a new crown.

Walking on the patio is a no no without a double coat of J.O.B.O.

 

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GPs. 

 

Ours have gone even shitter since Covid. They don't even have the phone answering service turned on any more where you go in a queue, you just get an engaged tone. If you need something you have to head up there and slalom past all the old people who are permanently ensconced outside waiting to make an appointment for their personal favourite rockstar GP, and talk through a baby monitor (an actual baby monitor).

 

They're constantly trying to deflect you to various apps but they don't have most of the features activated (prescriptions, appointments etc).

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I’m really uncomfortable around tradesmen in general. Even the gardener who’s been coming for a while. I get anxiety that if you don’t have a chat they’ll think you’re up your arse but if you do have a chat they think ‘fuck off im busy, and not your mate’ 

 

It’s weird because my job is speaking to people, explaining projects, very involved planning, contract negotiations etc and I’m comfortable and decent with it. 
 

Probably comes down to I know they’ll sus out within about 12 seconds of speaking to me I’m not a real man who knows anything about bloke stuff and no doubt make fun of me the second my back’s turned.

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6 minutes ago, Geoff Woade said:

Probably comes down to I know they’ll sus out within about 12 seconds of speaking to me I’m not a real man who knows anything about bloke stuff and no doubt make fun of me the second my back’s turned.

Nailed it.

 

I have a slightly different issue when it comes to my gardener though. Under no circumstances am I allowed to distract her with chat in any form. This rule also extends to every other area of the house at all times of the day. 

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19 minutes ago, Section_31 said:

GPs. 

 

Ours have gone even shitter since Covid. They don't even have the phone answering service turned on any more where you go in a queue, you just get an engaged tone. If you need something you have to head up there and slalom past all the old people who are permanently ensconced outside waiting to make an appointment for their personal favourite rockstar GP, and talk through a baby monitor (an actual baby monitor).

 

They're constantly trying to deflect you to various apps but they don't have most of the features activated (prescriptions, appointments etc).

You’d have liked my Dad. He wasn’t shit. Not sure how much he knew about medicine but he would certainly have taken the time to discuss the 1974 FA Cup Final with you. 
 

Other than him, you’re probably right. I had one of those phone appointments this morning. Although my issue isn’t serious at the moment, it has been and might well be again. He asked two questions then renewed my prescription. I suspect he was multitasking. 

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1 hour ago, Geoff Woade said:

I’m really uncomfortable around tradesmen in general. Even the gardener who’s been coming for a while. I get anxiety that if you don’t have a chat they’ll think you’re up your arse but if you do have a chat they think ‘fuck off im busy, and not your mate’ 

 

It’s weird because my job is speaking to people, explaining projects, very involved planning, contract negotiations etc and I’m comfortable and decent with it. 
 

Probably comes down to I know they’ll sus out within about 12 seconds of speaking to me I’m not a real man who knows anything about bloke stuff and no doubt make fun of me the second my back’s turned.

Tradesmen are like high school girls, dumb as fenceposts but intuitive enough to know all the boys wanna fuck'em.

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2 hours ago, Section_31 said:

GPs. 

 

Ours have gone even shitter since Covid. They don't even have the phone answering service turned on any more where you go in a queue, you just get an engaged tone. If you need something you have to head up there and slalom past all the old people who are permanently ensconced outside waiting to make an appointment for their personal favourite rockstar GP, and talk through a baby monitor (an actual baby monitor).

 

They're constantly trying to deflect you to various apps but they don't have most of the features activated (prescriptions, appointments etc).

We struck lucky with our new ones in Formby who are great , as the previous ones in West Derby were shocking.

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I too am fucking awful at DIY. My bird’s dad lives over the road and I have the ignominy of him coming over to help any time there’s man stuff that needs doing. 
 

Finally, finally got around to starting the task of doing my living room up which I’ve been talking about doing since before Covid. We went and ordered the new furniture last week and sorted out a lad I know to come and put the flooring in this weekend. Got plenty of time in between the floors going in and the new stuff arriving to get all the painting done. Job’s a good ‘un, right?
 

We were having the tiles delivered today so I’ve been busy moving stuff from downstairs to upstairs. He came and basically just dumped them all on the front. 30 odd heavy boxes and a few bags of the grout/cement/whatever the fuck it is that sticks them to the floor. As soon as he drove away it started raining so I’m running round like a twat, trying to get it all indoors. Done my back in, I’m not really supposed to be doing heavy lifting. 
 

She’s just had a look at them and they’re the wrong fucking colour. Now she’s on the phone to Wickes. I’m too worn out to be pissed off. Why is nothing ever easy?

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1 minute ago, Captain Turdseye said:

I too am fucking awful at DIY. My bird’s dad lives over the road and I have the ignominy of him coming over to help any time there’s man stuff that needs doing. 
 

Finally, finally got around to starting the task of doing my living room up which I’ve been talking about doing since before Covid. We went and ordered the new furniture last week and sorted out a lad I know to come and put the flooring in this weekend. Got plenty of time in between the floors going in and the new stuff arriving to get all the painting done. Job’s a good ‘un, right?
 

We were having the tiles delivered today so I’ve been busy moving stuff from downstairs to upstairs. He basically just dumped them all on the front. 30 odd heavy boxes and a few bags of the grout/cement/whatever the fuck it is that sticks them to the floor. As soon as he drove away it started raining so I’m running round like a twat, trying to get it all indoors. Done my back in, I’m not really supposed to be doing heavy lifting. 
 

She’s just had a look at them and they’re the wrong fucking colour. Now she’s on the phone to Wickes. I’m too worn out to be pissed off. Why is nothing ever easy?

Nightmare. I got a sore back just reading that. 

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32 minutes ago, Captain Turdseye said:

I too am fucking awful at DIY. My bird’s dad lives over the road and I have the ignominy of him coming over to help any time there’s man stuff that needs doing. 
 

Finally, finally got around to starting the task of doing my living room up which I’ve been talking about doing since before Covid. We went and ordered the new furniture last week and sorted out a lad I know to come and put the flooring in this weekend. Got plenty of time in between the floors going in and the new stuff arriving to get all the painting done. Job’s a good ‘un, right?
 

We were having the tiles delivered today so I’ve been busy moving stuff from downstairs to upstairs. He came and basically just dumped them all on the front. 30 odd heavy boxes and a few bags of the grout/cement/whatever the fuck it is that sticks them to the floor. As soon as he drove away it started raining so I’m running round like a twat, trying to get it all indoors. Done my back in, I’m not really supposed to be doing heavy lifting. 
 

She’s just had a look at them and they’re the wrong fucking colour. Now she’s on the phone to Wickes. I’m too worn out to be pissed off. Why is nothing ever easy?

And you've paid for all this yourself right? You've got my vote in the next election pal.

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43 minutes ago, Captain Turdseye said:

I too am fucking awful at DIY. My bird’s dad lives over the road and I have the ignominy of him coming over to help any time there’s man stuff that needs doing. 
 

Finally, finally got around to starting the task of doing my living room up which I’ve been talking about doing since before Covid. We went and ordered the new furniture last week and sorted out a lad I know to come and put the flooring in this weekend. Got plenty of time in between the floors going in and the new stuff arriving to get all the painting done. Job’s a good ‘un, right?
 

We were having the tiles delivered today so I’ve been busy moving stuff from downstairs to upstairs. He came and basically just dumped them all on the front. 30 odd heavy boxes and a few bags of the grout/cement/whatever the fuck it is that sticks them to the floor. As soon as he drove away it started raining so I’m running round like a twat, trying to get it all indoors. Done my back in, I’m not really supposed to be doing heavy lifting. 
 

She’s just had a look at them and they’re the wrong fucking colour. Now she’s on the phone to Wickes. I’m too worn out to be pissed off. Why is nothing ever easy?

 

You're having your living room floor tiled? She'll be whinging about her feet being cold. In July.

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