Have a rant thread

[Harry Squatter]

12 hours ago, Bjornebye said:

Thanks mate. 

Sorry to hear about your Mum.

 

Lowest of the low stealing food from a funeral, just when you think people can't go any lower there's always some scruffy cunt who will outdo everyone. 

[Section_31]

Been trying to break the day up the last couple of days by doing some work from Costa like a hipster bum. Yesterday I'm sat there typing away at the back and some schoolgirls come in and start doing formation dancing in front of their phone, presumably for a 'tik tok' video - I shit you not. About 10 of them doing some kind of Diversity style dance routine in the middle of  the place. So I just fucked off home, utterly freaked out. 

 

Today I've come to a different one, this time there's mums with their young and extremely loud kids, one's got a fucking high chair and appears to be feeding it baby food, it's screaming loudly. 

 

Just fuck, right, off. 

 

Same with fucking pubs, absolutely nowhere's sacred from these family cunts. 

 

What's the upper age limit for joining the Merchant Navy?

 

 

[Bjornebye]

52 minutes ago, Section_31 said:

Been trying to break the day up the last couple of days by doing some work from Costa like a hipster bum. Yesterday I'm sat there typing away at the back and some schoolgirls come in and start doing formation dancing in front of their phone, presumably for a 'tik tok' video - I shit you not. About 10 of them doing some kind of Diversity style dance routine in the middle of  the place. So I just fucked off home, utterly freaked out. 

 

Today I've come to a different one, this time there's mums with their young and extremely loud kids, one's got a fucking high chair and appears to be feeding it baby food, it's screaming loudly. 

 

Just fuck, right, off. 

 

Same with fucking pubs, absolutely nowhere's sacred from these family cunts. 

 

What's the upper age limit for joining the Merchant Navy?

 

 

It serves you fucking right. 

[lifetime fan]

2 minutes ago, Bjornebye said:

It serves you fucking right. 

Exactly.
 

Go to a local pub and hotspot your laptop from your work phone. 

[easytoslip]

23 hours ago, lifetime fan said:

Exactly.
 

Go to a local pub and hotspot your laptop from your work phone. 

The pub isn't really a sanctuary from family fun these days, just the other day a couple of families came in and thought nothing of it when letting the kids run around screaming, why take kids into a pub in town? 

They mostly had tattoos and big gobs, the parents that is. I despair. 

[lifetime fan]

10 minutes ago, easytoslip said:

The pub isn't really a sanctuary from family fun these days, just the other day a couple of families came in and thought nothing of it when letting the kids run around screaming, why take kids into a pub in town? 

They mostly had tattoos and big gobs, the parents that is. I despair. 

That’s not the sort of pub I was thinking of. 
 

But I agree it’s shit. 

[Mook]

7 minutes ago, Colonel Kurtz said:

Film credits. Needy fucking shit. We’ve watched a decent film.  I don’t give a fuck who the carpenter was, you don't give a fuck who the carpenter was, it’s just needy shit so his mum can see his name on the titles. Wank for needy wankers.. 

Fucks sake.

[mattyq]

On 03/09/2020 at 16:31, Bjornebye said:

Mums funeral yesterday. Absolutely spectacular turn-out. Well over 100 people at the cremates with the vast majority knowing they would have to stand outside in the rain. 

 

Loads of people at the wake in Prescot Guildhall, great songs she loved, lots of tears, whiskey and merriment. 

 

I'd paid 250 odd quid for the catering and to be fair it was superb. They had it all set up for when we all arrived and the spread was great. 

 

As often happens the catering was over-estimated and there was loads of food left towards the end. The woman we used said she would be back around 5ish to box up what was left for us etc. She turns up and most people had left save for our side of the family and a few stragglers (mums neighbours who we hardly know). We all went back to my mums afterwards (just close friends and family) and someone said they were hungry so I said all the buffet should be here. Nowhere to be seen. I assumed we had forgot to pick it up and left it at that, pissed, not that arsed. 

 

She's just told me that she saw 3 'guests' leaving with it not long before we left. She didn't recognise them (but had noted them as having been sat there all afternoon drinking) and assumed they were my mums husbands side and were taking it back to the house. They didn't. They fucking took it home. The scruffy, dirty cunts. We have no idea who it was either so save for him putting something on facebook (which no-one will own up to anyway) the cunts have fed themselves for a good 3/4 days there by literally stealing food from a funeral. 

Ah, shit, didn't know your mum had died

Terrible news, mate!!

There's not much you can say but all the best and hope you're doing ok!!

[Mudface]

16 minutes ago, Colonel Kurtz said:

What ? You think the knowing the carpenters name is adding to your enjoyment of the film ? Really? 

Does it detract from it? Someone's getting an acknowledgement of the work they've done. If it bothers you, don't read it and just get on with your day.

[Bjornebye]

14 minutes ago, mattyq said:

Ah, shit, didn't know your mum had died

Terrible news, mate!!

There's not much you can say but all the best and hope you're doing ok!!

Cheers Matty x Fingers crossed we can get an away game after new year 

[Bjornebye]

34 minutes ago, Colonel Kurtz said:

Film credits. Needy fucking shit. We’ve watched a decent film.  I don’t give a fuck who the carpenter was, you don't give a fuck who the carpenter was, it’s just needy shit so his mum can see his name on the titles. Wank for needy wankers.. 

Fuck off you bastard. You don't need to sit and watch the credits. The people who worked on it deserve some form of acknowledgement. Sometimes the ending is great. Take the end of Full Metal Jacket for example. The music is superb. The Warriors is moody as fuck as well. 

[Bjornebye]

18 minutes ago, Colonel Kurtz said:

OhI don’t know if I can be arsed with this. You buy a decent car, maybe a VW Golf, you don’t need to know who designed the gear box, the suspension etc but this £25k purchase is a lot more significant than your £5 cinema ticket but still the latter need to tell you the name of the runner, best boy etc etc. It’s just needy wank for media luvvies. 

What a seriously weird rant. Are you ok? 

[Pidge]

9 hours ago, Colonel Kurtz said:

What ? You think the knowing the carpenters name is adding to your enjoyment of the film ? Really? 

I think it helps people get/retain union access and respect on the job. I don't think anyone forces you to sit through them.

[mattyq]

19 hours ago, Bjornebye said:

Cheers Matty x Fingers crossed we can get an away game after new year 

Yup, that would be very cool

[Bjornebye]

On 20/09/2020 at 08:57, Colonel Kurtz said:

That was a drunken rant. Apologies. Feel like shit this morning. 

Never ever apologise for a drunken rant. We need more random acts of lunacy. 

[Pidge]

Drunkenly venting on the internet like the good old days. No problem.

[lifetime fan]

Not even being married* but having a cunt ‘mother-in-law’. 
 

 

 

*Well I am married still for now but not to her. 

[Section_31]

On 15/09/2020 at 16:41, Section_31 said:

Not really a rant but just general bafflement at the fact things have to be overcomplicated these days in order to stand out.

 

Couple I know wanted to get a dog but they're quite trendy so obviously it couldn't just be dog, it was gonna have to be some kind of chimaera, half pug half great dane with a dash of cat, or a rescue dog.

 

They got a rescue dog shipped over from Lithuania or some shit, it's so fucked up it won't go near anyone but her and he has to go in late for work every day because the pet psychologist they hired (?!) says it can't be on its own for longer than six hours or it'll eat itself or something. 

 

Back in the day we got my nan's dog by going to a neighbour who had puppies, asking if we could have a puppy and taking it home. It was a mongrel. We had her for 16 happy years. 

 

We never put a hoodie on the motherfucker, shoes, or ordered it special online dietary supplements.

They've had  cameras installed now around the house and he can talk through them via his phone to keep the dog company and tell it to calm down and stuff during the day.

 

I think back to my granddad's dog, we used to take it for walks and let it chew my uncle's socks. Simpler times.

[Bjornebye]

2 minutes ago, Section_31 said:

They've had  cameras installed now around the house and he can talk through them via his phone to keep the dog company and tell it to calm down and stuff during the day.

 

Surely that just fucks with the dog even more. 

[Section_31]

Just now, Bjornebye said:

Surely that just fucks with the dog even more. 

I said that, a disembodied voice telling it to stop barking? Some canine 1984 shit.

[Bjornebye]

12 minutes ago, Section_31 said:

I said that, a disembodied voice telling it to stop barking? Some canine 1984 shit.

Leave Goofy behind and come home to fucking Cujo 

[lifetime fan]

In town today and three different shops were playing Christmas music the cunts. 

[Geoff Woade]

3 minutes ago, lifetime fan said:

In town today and three different shops were playing Christmas music the cunts. 

If that bollocks is going to start then to be honest I’d rather they put the full lockdown on again. 
Or just pressed the nuclear button. I maintain the reason firearms are banned in this country is to stop Falling Down style rampages by irate Boots staff who’ve been forced to listen to Slade since the last week of the summer holidays.

[Bjornebye]

4 minutes ago, Geoff Woade said:

If that bollocks is going to start then to be honest I’d rather they put the full lockdown on again. 
Or just pressed the nuclear button. I maintain the reason firearms are banned in this country is to stop Falling Down style rampages by irate Boots staff who’ve been forced to listen to Slade since the last week of the summer holidays.

Haha last year I said to some woman on the checkout in Tesco "I bet you get fed-up of the same christmas song day after day don't you and she went "The only thing more annoying is every other person saying what you've just said" 

[Section_31]

Royal Mail. Me mate is self isolating so I sent him a box of stuff, sweets, couple of mags and some rum as a surprise pick me up, first class on Tuesday and it's still not there. They told me to wait 20 days then make a claim if it hasn't turned up.

 

Few years ago one of the cunts stole a new phone I had delivered and tried to blame me even though the stupid cunt had written the wrong name when he faked my signature. I was gonna have to go to court until his barrister got wind of the fact I'd never had so much as a parking ticket and he was gonna look like a spaz. 

 

Another time I got a credit card bill which had literally a thumb shaped hole in the top.

 

Postman twat.