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Have a rant thread


Sugar Ape
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9 minutes ago, Geoff Woade said:

Would it be insensitive if I asked for the caterers details? I’m lucky enough to have kids who’s birthdays fall within 2 weeks of each other and they’re young enough to have joint parties. Where I’m unlucky is this means that the one party has to be an outrageous display of keeping up with the joneses so they’ve always become some sort of Jacobean banquet alongside cirque de solei thanks to their mother. If I can get away at 250 for what sounds like a top spread I’ll be made up. I’ll even video myself dressing down the inevitable piss takers who fill their cars with the leftovers if that would make you more inclined!

Course not mate, https://www.perfectplattercateringliverpool.co.uk

 

 

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16 minutes ago, Geoff Woade said:

Thank you very much, I was sorry to see about your mum and I hope the send off yesterday was a help to you. Of the funerals I’ve been too I’ve always found it’s been a great weight lifted once they’ve been over.

Very welcome mate and thanks 

 

Ironic to see well wishes about my mum on the 'have a rant' thread the awkward, nosey, loved cow 

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Which utter cretin decided one day, you know how people listen to the radio for music, let's irritate the fuck out of them by making tedious strained chit chat with either a charmless dullard member of the public or some arse licking underling in the studio who acts like they hang on your every word. I have an absolute pathological hatred of it, who enjoys this shit? 

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6 minutes ago, Remmie said:

Which utter cretin decided one day, you know how people listen to the radio for music, let's irritate the fuck out of them by making tedious strained chit chat with either a charmless dullard member of the public or some arse licking underling in the studio who acts like they hang on your every word. I have an absolute pathological hatred of it, who enjoys this shit? 

It all depends on the people. I can’t abide Chris Moyles and Dom (is it?) anytime of day least of all in the morning plus people want to wake up to music and these play about a song every half an hour.
 

Johnny Vaughan and Gavin Woodman in the late afternoon though are superb and the music actually gets in the way. 

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1 hour ago, Remmie said:

Which utter cretin decided one day, you know how people listen to the radio for music, let's irritate the fuck out of them by making tedious strained chit chat with either a charmless dullard member of the public or some arse licking underling in the studio who acts like they hang on your every word. I have an absolute pathological hatred of it, who enjoys this shit? 

Radio Merseyside is bad for this, I was flicking through once (I only listen to the radio in the car, I think it's all shite) and happened upon what seemed to be a couple of old women talking about their day, literally just someone's nan talking about how you didn't get proper high street butchers these days. Amazing stuff. 

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1 hour ago, Remmie said:

It was absolute radio that you inspired this rant, some twat presenting, finding himself hilarious and trying to force some very lame banter with a caller. I had to leave the room 

Dave Berry? 
 

I remember listening to absolute radio on the way to work and a guy called Christian O’Connell used to present the breakfast show. He was/is a right cunt but the music was better than any other channels at the time. One morning the self absorbed (no doubt lying) shit cunt went, in his over the top just for radio voice, “I’d just like to apologise to the guy who came over to me for an autograph at the services at 4am this morning, I know it was a bit early for a burger but I was starving!” I turned channels and I don’t think I listened to him again. I’ve just googled him so you can see the exact cunt I’m on about ....

 

 

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Not really a rant but just general bafflement at the fact things have to be overcomplicated these days in order to stand out.

 

Couple I know wanted to get a dog but they're quite trendy so obviously it couldn't just be dog, it was gonna have to be some kind of chimaera, half pug half great dane with a dash of cat, or a rescue dog.

 

They got a rescue dog shipped over from Lithuania or some shit, it's so fucked up it won't go near anyone but her and he has to go in late for work every day because the pet psychologist they hired (?!) says it can't be on its own for longer than six hours or it'll eat itself or something. 

 

Back in the day we got my nan's dog by going to a neighbour who had puppies, asking if we could have a puppy and taking it home. It was a mongrel. We had her for 16 happy years. 

 

We never put a hoodie on the motherfucker, shoes, or ordered it special online dietary supplements.

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22 minutes ago, Section_31 said:

Not really a rant but just general bafflement at the fact things have to be overcomplicated these days in order to stand out.

 

Couple I know wanted to get a dog but they're quite trendy so obviously it couldn't just be dog, it was gonna have to be some kind of chimaera, half pug half great dane with a dash of cat, or a rescue dog.

 

They got a rescue dog shipped over from Lithuania or some shit, it's so fucked up it won't go near anyone but her and he has to go in late for work every day because the pet psychologist they hired (?!) says it can't be on its own for longer than six hours or it'll eat itself or something. 

 

Back in the day we got my nan's dog by going to a neighbour who had puppies, asking if we could have a puppy and taking it home. It was a mongrel. We had her for 16 happy years. 

 

We never put a hoodie on the motherfucker, shoes, or ordered it special online dietary supplements.

Those Dog Behaviourists are about £80 an hour. They could have bought the Kennel club by the time he/she's finished and the dog will still be fucked.

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26 minutes ago, Section_31 said:

Not really a rant but just general bafflement at the fact things have to be overcomplicated these days in order to stand out.

 

Couple I know wanted to get a dog but they're quite trendy so obviously it couldn't just be dog, it was gonna have to be some kind of chimaera, half pug half great dane with a dash of cat, or a rescue dog.

 

They got a rescue dog shipped over from Lithuania or some shit, it's so fucked up it won't go near anyone but her and he has to go in late for work every day because the pet psychologist they hired (?!) says it can't be on its own for longer than six hours or it'll eat itself or something.

 

 

So, the guy's missus wanted an accessory so she could be like the dribbling botoxed fuckwits on all those reality shows she no doubt watches. That was just outside of their budget so they went the dodgy route and all it comes with, in the hope that they might get a wad of cash to appear on some shit reality show starring that Cesar Milan jabroni, whose only input will be that it's all the husband's fault, and to get the dog to stop sniffing its own shit.

 

How close are you to this couple?

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2 hours ago, Trumo said:

 

So, the guy's missus wanted an accessory so she could be like the dribbling botoxed fuckwits on all those reality shows she no doubt watches. That was just outside of their budget so they went the dodgy route and all it comes with, in the hope that they might get a wad of cash to appear on some shit reality show starring that Cesar Milan jabroni, whose only input will be that it's all the husband's fault, and to get the dog to stop sniffing its own shit.

 

How close are you to this couple?

 

Not close, the Mrs knows her as they used to work together. She's not really a footballer's wife type more a lactose free, gluten free, save the dolphins from the plastic bags type effort. Deffo serves chips on a slate.

 

 

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People who leave voicemails just to say they've called. Meaning you've got to go through the brouhaha of dialling and erasing the message to get rid of the icon off the top of your screen. And to think when people talk about Treblinka and Sobibor they say "it couldn't happen here."

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On 03/09/2020 at 16:31, Bjornebye said:

Mums funeral yesterday. Absolutely spectacular turn-out. Well over 100 people at the cremates with the vast majority knowing they would have to stand outside in the rain. 

 

Loads of people at the wake in Prescot Guildhall, great songs she loved, lots of tears, whiskey and merriment. 

 

I'd paid 250 odd quid for the catering and to be fair it was superb. They had it all set up for when we all arrived and the spread was great. 

 

As often happens the catering was over-estimated and there was loads of food left towards the end. The woman we used said she would be back around 5ish to box up what was left for us etc. She turns up and most people had left save for our side of the family and a few stragglers (mums neighbours who we hardly know). We all went back to my mums afterwards (just close friends and family) and someone said they were hungry so I said all the buffet should be here. Nowhere to be seen. I assumed we had forgot to pick it up and left it at that, pissed, not that arsed. 

 

She's just told me that she saw 3 'guests' leaving with it not long before we left. She didn't recognise them (but had noted them as having been sat there all afternoon drinking) and assumed they were my mums husbands side and were taking it back to the house. They didn't. They fucking took it home. The scruffy, dirty cunts. We have no idea who it was either so save for him putting something on facebook (which no-one will own up to anyway) the cunts have fed themselves for a good 3/4 days there by literally stealing food from a funeral. 

I didn't know your mum passed mate.

 

Very sorry for your loss. Hope you're okay.

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