Have a rant thread

[Rico1304]

On 17/07/2020 at 06:05, Gnasher said:

They've named the document 'the Rico clause'

I’ve been out two years now.  
 

The new bloke at the top is cut throat.  The threat is designed to get rid of the older unionised engineers on the cheap.  Instead of paying their usual 4 weeks a year redundancy package (that was in place for the last round 3 months ago) they are only getting statutory. That’s on top of no bonus this year and the share price at around 20% it’s usual value. He’ll clear out a raft of heavily unionised, older engineers and have everyone on new terms.  But if you demonise a business for years and years something’s got to give.  

[cloggypop]

Don't be like Zammo, just say no. 

[cloggypop]

Just now, Colonel Kurtz said:

Yeah but it’s hard when they are pulling on your arm. Don’t want to make a scene an all that. 

I just won't do it myself. Fuck them. It's them being a cunt. Only have to live with yourself. If I want to dance I will. 

[lifetime fan]

Nights drawing in already. 
 

Fuck you bellends that look forward to winter. 

[Bruce Spanner]

On 20/07/2020 at 00:34, Colonel Kurtz said:

Yeah but it’s hard when they are pulling on your arm. Don’t want to make a scene an all that. 

Punching someone in the head and screaming ‘fuck off you annoying cunt’ and politely saying ‘no’ are just a spectrum of making a scene type behaviour.

 

Make your choice, but neither are wrong, remember it’s a spectrum, they’re just both frowned upon. 

[Section_31]

When a couple bring their baby to a coffee shop, cafe, or unfortunately these days - a pub - and it starts looking at you or making noises or whatever, and the couple look at you as if to say "well are you gonna fucking coo over our kid then or what?". 

 

What is this Children of Men? Leave me the fuck alone.

[Bjornebye]

52 minutes ago, Section_31 said:

When a couple bring their baby to a coffee shop, cafe, or unfortunately these days - a pub - and it starts looking at you or making noises or whatever, and the couple look at you as if to say "well are you gonna fucking coo over our kid then or what?". 

 

What is this Children of Men? Leave me the fuck alone.

Not for very small kids but I'm sure someone posted on here or maybe it was a stand up comedian who said if a kid starts giving you unwanted attention, take the chance to whisper in its ear "I'm going to fucking kill you" when no-one is looking. 

 

problem solved. 

[Bjornebye]

On 23/07/2020 at 22:08, Bruce Spanner said:

Punching someone in the head and screaming ‘fuck off you annoying cunt’ and politely saying ‘no’ are just a spectrum of making a scene type behaviour.

 

Make your choice, but neither are wrong, remember it’s a spectrum, they’re just both frowned upon. 

Aaah you've met the missus. 

[Bjornebye]

Just now, Colonel Kurtz said:

People sorting their overhead luggage before they sit down on long haul planes. Everyone else has to fucking wait in the aisle whilst you get your book, your water bottle and your glasses. Just fucking sit down and get your crap once we have taken off, you have got hours to do this. Drives me fucking nuts. Last time I was stuck outside on the steps in the rain in Amsterdam whilst some cunt searched for his novel that he just had to have before we take off because he cant be left alone with his thoughts for even a few minutes. I swear to god if i ever catch this fucker I'm going to rip his head off with my teeth and then take a shit in the hole. 

Whilst I agree that you should have your sit down shit sorted before you start fannying about on the flight I sincerely hope that the guy you are on about is John Cutter. 

[Section_31]

The Dimbleby family, one's a fucking chef now apparently, can't keep up with these cunts.

[Bjornebye]

23 minutes ago, Colonel Kurtz said:

I don't know who he is but if he is the guy who made me wait on the steps in the freezing rain at Schipol airport whilst he searched his bag for a book (we could see him through the window) on the 11th February then he's dead.  

Always bet on black. 

[Dougie Do'ins]

On 23/07/2020 at 22:02, lifetime fan said:

Nights drawing in already. 
 

Fuck you bellends that look forward to winter. 

 

 

[Mook]

Is it against the law to cut the person who has agreed to buy your house's throat if they start dicking about a couple of days before the agreed moving date?

 

I'm not asking for a friend, I am genuinely contemplating killing this cunt.

[Tony Moanero]

On 19/07/2020 at 17:43, Bjornebye said:

Right. 

 

Just been to the tesco express in the village. Normally its a fairly ok experience. Even late on Friday/Saturday nights the nobhead to normal ratio is quite low for a central convenience store. Not today. 

 

I'm hungover. I needed shite. Bag of onion rings and pack of rowntrees randoms and a bottle of orange lucozade (which is shite these days by the way). Simple needs for a simple mind. ENTER 3 huge fat loud fairy scouse bitches. You know the kind, shout instead of taking to each other. Aren't actually saying it to their friend but for the benefit of everyone within a 4 mile radius. Chatting absolute shit with an over the top scouse accent. The kind of fuckers that you know before even looking that at least one of them will have a pair of those furry, aggressive sliders with a pair of feet that could break a cliff. I remember watching a royal rumble or battle royal from the 90's and The Natural Disasters 9earthquake and Typhoon) entered the frey and eliminated about 10 brawlers in about 10 seconds then it took about 100 of these roid freaks to get Earthquake over the ropes. Ok imagine that scenario but on the beach at Normandy and throw in the scandinavian gladiator off the Running Man in as well and you are close to the chaos these bitches created when they walked into the shop. Loud, lairy cunts.

 

The queuing system is pretty straightforward. Signs and floor markings indicating that you queue socially distanced from the left hand side aisle. Nope not these mammoths. I already read the situation from the snacks aisle and knew there would be a bout of awkward confusion at payment time. 3 of us, 3 people stood in the queue correctly. I can hear them in the other aisle. One of the things has got 3 bottles of plonk in her hand while the other is eyeing up the Tucs. No respect for the queue. One of them looking over towards us while pretending to listen to her mate shout at her. She knew full well they would have to walk back round to join the queue but fuck that oh no lazy wankers. "Go on girl you were next" loud as fuck to a woman twice her age. The lady who like me had read the situation just said "Its fine you go" "Arrrr taaarrrrr babe". "The baby the baby our baby the baby" I'd have died a happy man if some cat threw a grenade into the shop at that moment. 

 

I've come back in a foul mood, I was fine before it. What sad cunt moved the Sega/Nintendo debate? Fucking prefect. 

 

To round things off I've picked up pic n mix instead of rowntrees randoms. 

 

 

Sugar Tax has fucked Lucozade.

[Tony Moanero]

.

[Bjornebye]

22 minutes ago, Mook said:

Is it against the law to cut the person who has agreed to buy your house's throat if they start dicking about a couple of days before the agreed moving date?

 

I'm not asking for a friend, I am genuinely contemplating killing this cunt.

Yeah proper cunts mate. If you do kill them reckon I can have that Monchengladbach top when you get sent down? 

[Mook]

12 minutes ago, Bjornebye said:

Yeah proper cunts mate. If you do kill them reckon I can have that Monchengladbach top when you get sent down? 

Of course but you might want to start doing the smack diet right away.

[Bjornebye]

12 minutes ago, Mook said:

Of course but you might want to start doing the smack diet right away.

Aye righto. 

[Mook]

16 minutes ago, Bjornebye said:

Aye righto. 

Kate Moss would need to go on a diet to get into half my clothes to be fair.

[Bjornebye]

8 minutes ago, Mook said:

Kate Moss would need to go on a diet to get into half my clothes to be fair.

So would Spud. 

[Guest]

10 minutes ago, Bjornebye said:

So would Spud. 

Kate Moss likes scag.

[Bjornebye]

1 minute ago, Fluter in Dakota said:

Kate Moss likes scag.

You pissed tonight mate? 

[Guest]

Just now, Bjornebye said:

You pissed tonight mate? 

Nah, sober as a judge. No beer giggles for me. Kate Moss was with that bloke off of The Libertines wasn't she?

[Bjornebye]

Just now, Fluter in Dakota said:

Nah, sober as a judge. No beer giggles for me. Kate Moss was with that bloke off of The Libertines wasn't she?

Yeah the fella with the helmet. 

[Guest]

2 minutes ago, Bjornebye said:

Yeah the fella with the helmet. 

I'd find it hard to not think about what is in her system if I was in her, erm, system.