Have a rant thread

[Elite]

42 minutes ago, A Red said:

Wasnt sure whether to dig up the world of a woman thread but im a lazy get so this will do

 

My Mrs has attached a feeding device for birds to our bedroom window. Yes our bedroom window. So now at the crack of dawn there are all manner of winged bastards headbutting the fucking thing. I suggested it be moved but she wont do it because she says that they are used to that source of food. I'm stopping all sexual favours and fucking off to the spare room. That will teach her.

I literally can't think of a worse idea than that. 

[Oh Buoy]

36 minutes ago, Elite said:

I literally can't think of a worse idea than that. 

 

Marriage?

Watching Remmie rim Stig?

Wanking so furiously that you spunk in the air and try and catch it in your mouth?

Snorting a tramps poo nugget?

Got loads here mate.

[Elite]

12 minutes ago, Seasons said:

 

Marriage?

Watching Remmie rim Stig?

Wanking so furiously that you spunk in the air and try and catch it in your mouth?

Snorting a tramps poo nugget?

Got loads here mate.

You've definitely done the 3rd one you deviant.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

*Wipes Mouth and eye*

 

[Baresi]

On ‎06‎/‎04‎/‎2019 at 15:11, Mudface said:

The M6 is a cunt. Everyone who drives on it is a cunt, without exception. Including me- I'm not generally a cunt, certainly not when I'm driving, but a couple of hours on the M6 would see Gandhi raping disabled kittens. The service stations are cunts too, special cunt marks to the cunt who spent five minutes holding up the queue so he could choose a vape oil- 'I'll go for a 12 mig Menthol'. Cunt.

 

The only redeeming part of the M6 is that eventually most of the cunts disappear by Gretna and it's relatively pleasant for an hour or two through the Borders, although by then it is the M74 really, so it probably doesn't count, plus it gets steadily cuntier the closer you get to Glasgow anyway.

 

Cunts of the day- toss up between the 4x4 cunts who decide to visit the Lakes because the weather's been reasonable for 10 minutes. I hope they fuck up their expensive bikes they have strapped all over their cunt cars. Or, the cunt who drove approximately 3 nanometers behind me until I could move over to the inside lane (I didn't really fancy crashing into the half dozen lorries I was passing), only to then sit there on my shoulder creeping past me like a fucking glacier until I caught up with another lorry and had to put the brakes on because naturally he wouldn't move over to the outside lane despite there being nothing there. The middle lane driving cunt.

 

 

https://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/news/liverpool-news/live-m6-traffic-updates-j27-16306182

 

What have you done, Mudface?

[Mudface]

33 minutes ago, Naby's Nuts said:

https://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/news/liverpool-news/live-m6-traffic-updates-j27-16306182

 

What have you done, Mudface?

Ha. He took too ordering his vape oil...

[Captain Turdseye]

Loads of my shit has been breaking this past week or so. On Friday my washing machine packed in, Sunday it was the power steering on my car and now my tumble dryer looks like it could be knackered. Just fucking fuck the fuck off. I really want a cup of tea but I’m scared to put the kettle on in case it just falls apart in my hands. 

[VladimirIlyich]

20 minutes ago, Captain Turdseye said:

Loads of my shit has been breaking this past week or so. On Friday my washing machine packed in, Sunday it was the power steering on my car and now my tumble dryer looks like it could be knackered. Just fucking fuck the fuck off. I really want a cup of tea but I’m scared to put the kettle on in case it just falls apart in my hands. 

Maybe your spaz hands are possessed?

[Elite]

33 minutes ago, Captain Turdseye said:

Loads of my shit has been breaking this past week or so. On Friday my washing machine packed in, Sunday it was the power steering on my car and now my tumble dryer looks like it could be knackered. Just fucking fuck the fuck off. I really want a cup of tea but I’m scared to put the kettle on in case it just falls apart in my hands. 

Yeah it's an absolute cunt when that happens, it's never just one thing either. Last month my boiler needed a part replacing, I needed new brake pads and my freezer broke (luckily I managed to fix it myself thanks to YouTube).

[sir roger]

49 minutes ago, Captain Turdseye said:

Loads of my shit has been breaking this past week or so. On Friday my washing machine packed in, Sunday it was the power steering on my car and now my tumble dryer looks like it could be knackered. Just fucking fuck the fuck off. I really want a cup of tea but I’m scared to put the kettle on in case it just falls apart in my hands. 

I'd leave it a while before I had a tug, to be honest Cap'n.

[Bjornebye]

Stoke.

 

Fucking shithole. Had a meeting there this morning. As soon as I stepped out of the station I could just feel an air of utter dejection and ugliness. It must be a cunt living on the borders of the midlands but fuck me it looks like its been over-run by the cast of Labrynth. Had a 15 minute walk to the place we had to be and I commented that not once did we see an actual normal looking person. Even passed over a lovely canal that Rosie and Jim would tell to fuck right off. I should be in quarantine after that. 

[Elite]

8 minutes ago, Bjornebye said:

Stoke.

 

Fucking shithole. Had a meeting there this morning. As soon as I stepped out of the station I could just feel an air of utter dejection and ugliness. It must be a cunt living on the borders of the midlands but fuck me it looks like its been over-run by the cast of Labrynth. Had a 15 minute walk to the place we had to be and I commented that not once did we see an actual normal looking person. Even passed over a lovely canal that Rosie and Jim would tell to fuck right off. I should be in quarantine after that. 

Everyone I've met from Stoke is a cunt. Their football team are a bunch of cunts and their favourite son, Phil Taylor is a monumental cunt.

[Bjornebye]

Just now, Elite said:

Everyone I've met from Stoke is a cunt. Their football team are a bunch of cunts and their favourite son, Phil Taylor is a monumental cunt.

To be fair the two clients we met were both from Stoke and were both really sound. Neither looked or dressed like anyone who has seen this side of 1993 but aside from that they were nice enough. 

 

Its just such a dull place. No spirit at all. Everything is a big shrug of the shoulders and such an effort. Give me vibrancy, lunacy and all round wonder over stagnant, bored dullness any day of the week. Even if it means I have to smell the sick all over Dale/Victoria street every morning before I go into the office. 

[Bjornebye]

1 hour ago, Captain Turdseye said:

Loads of my shit has been breaking this past week or so. On Friday my washing machine packed in, Sunday it was the power steering on my car and now my tumble dryer looks like it could be knackered. Just fucking fuck the fuck off. I really want a cup of tea but I’m scared to put the kettle on in case it just falls apart in my hands. 

Cheer up mate here you are on yet another twitter video

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Section_31]

McDonalds.

 

Never been a huge fan but the way they've changed the way you order to some sort of Argos-style situation takes the piss. 

 

Having watched The Founder with Michael Keaton (excellent film) it's clear the entire point of McDonalds was FAST FOOD where your food was already ready for you when you walked in, that's it's only selling point. If you have to wait surely you'd go and get some decent food cooked for you somewhere else?

 

Instead, you're stood around for 20 minutes waiting for someone to toast a muffin while the entire workforce mans the drive through and a single member of staff manning the entire front of house counter (who looks like one of those wind-up bombs from Super Mario) tries to sweep up some coffee with a brush.

[Pureblood]

That's without even mentioning the maggots in the communal ketchup dispenser and the traces of faeces on the touchscreens. 

 

I'm lovin' it.

[Bjornebye]

12 minutes ago, Section_31 said:

McDonalds.

 

Never been a huge fan but the way they've changed the way you order to some sort of Argos-style situation takes the piss. 

 

Having watched The Founder with Michael Keaton (excellent film) it's clear the entire point of McDonalds was FAST FOOD where your food was already ready for you when you walked in, that's it's only selling point. If you have to wait surely you'd go and get some decent food cooked for you somewhere else?

 

Instead, you're stood around for 20 minutes waiting for someone to toast a muffin while the entire workforce mans the drive through and a single member of staff manning the entire front of house counter (who looks like one of those wind-up bombs from Super Mario) tries to sweep up some coffee with a brush.

Cant stand McDonalds but was hungover on a Monday in work a year or so ago. Decided to go and get a couple of cheeseburgers from the Maccies in Church St. Never fucking again. 

 

I don't go near Burger King ever since I grabbed a burger from the one in Euston station before getting the train back to Lime St a few years back. About half an hour into the journey back I was sweating buckets and had to go and have a half an hour shit. Had bought some cans for the train and couldn't even stomach them. Randomly felt almost 100% by the time I got back to Liverpool but fuck me I'd never eat from there again. 

 

KFC on the other hand, I could eat them fillets all day. 

[Tony Moanero]

About five or six years ago, I bought a burger from Burger King in Liverpool Street station. The thing was lukewarm so I took it back and asked for a replacement. Seen the fella remove the burger from the bun and lash it in the deep fat fryer that they use to cook chips in.

[Elite]

I'd sooner have burgers from kebab shops than Maccies or Burger king, which says it all. KFC has gone shit as well.

[Section_31]

I don't think it's fare to judge Burger King by the standards of train stations and service stations. 

[Bjornebye]

1 hour ago, Section_31 said:

I don't think it's fare to judge Burger King by the standards of train stations and service stations. 

Their burgers fall apart anyway. Burger King is fucking shit. 

[Jairzinho]

They're not even particularly cheap any more are they?

 

 

[Bjornebye]

2 minutes ago, Jairzinho said:

They're not even particularly cheap any more are they?

 

 

I think its 1.29 for a double cheeseburger from Maccies. A quick one or two of them when in a rush and hungover is fairly decent value. Even though they sit on them before they serve them. 

[Elite]

2 minutes ago, Jairzinho said:

They're not even particularly cheap any more are they?

 

 

About £8 for a meal. 

[Strontium]

The veggie wrap in McD's is lovely. I eat it all the time.

 

I don't mind waiting 5 minutes for them to cook it.

[Guest Pistonbroke]

I can count on one hand the amount of times I've used a Mucky Mac, Burger King or KFC in the last 3 years. Don't use fast food joints that much anyway, If I do then prefer a Subway or a nice Lamb Kebab.