Have a rant thread

[Guest]

Very small mate. I lived on Oldfield Road. A whole road full of jumped up cunts. Used to walk the dog over Jubilee Park and Hawkers Wood. Posh twats aside its a lovely part of the country . 

Looks like one of the expensive parts too, know it well enough - drive past the houses hoping one day I'll live there. And then you swan on and say "I lived there!" Fair play there. Nice area.

[Guest]

It is a lot of that but they’re also places where people advertise all manner of stuff. Driving instructors, gardeners, painter decorators, the list goes on.

 

 

Loads of potential customers there.

I saw the picture here and went on facebook and signed up to one of the groups so I'll let you know how I get on. Thanks for the efforts here, fine work. I have also spoken to a couple of other Schools of Motoring and now have to pick between the two. Less money but shorter hours with the option of working extra hours or more money will more working hours.

 

Decisions, decisions. Good problem to have though...

[Rico1304]

Izzy’s school, like every other one, has a FB and twitter page. Dickhead parents expect that if they post they should receive an answer immediately.

 

Tomorrow is the sports day, with a back up date of Wednesday. Parents are looking at the weather forecast and demanding to know if it’s on tomorrow. Forgive me if im wrong but the teachers aren’t working tonight because it’s fucking Sunday!

[VladimirIlyich]

Izzy’s school, like every other one, has a FB and twitter page. Dickhead parents expect that if they post they should receive an answer immediately.

 

Tomorrow is the sports day, with a back up date of Wednesday. Parents are looking at the weather forecast and demanding to know if it’s on tomorrow. Forgive me if im wrong but the teachers aren’t working tonight because it’s fucking Sunday!

I'd tell the parents it's cancelled but still go ahead anyway. The kids would enjoy it more.

[Rico1304]

Ha. The parents 100m is ultra competitive

[Rick Sanchez C-137]

The only time I run is my annual 100m at the sports day. I finish middle of the pack mostly, which is fine by me.

 

This year, I placed 5th or so, and was breathing out my arse when I turned and noticed a proper runner of a dad was sprawled out half way down the track. He stayed there for 15mins until he had to be carried off. His hamstrings must have ripped in half.

 

Just goes to show you, kids. Don't ever try too hard.

[Mook]

E-mail chain between my boss & me this afternoon (she's 'working from home' again):-

 

 

Noted

 

Sent from my iPad

 

> On 16 Jul 2018, at 15:14, Mook wrote:

>

> No problem, I was in the kitchen.

>

>Mook

>

>

>

>

> -----Original Message-----

> From: Mook's boss

> Sent: 16 July 2018 15:10

> To: Mook

> Subject: Mobile Phone

>

> Your mobile phone is being called and you are not answering  - can you let me know if there is a problem, please?

>

> Sent from my iPad

[Mook]

She's so busy noting down the fact that I'm in the kitchen that she can't be arsed to reply to really important client e-mails that she's been ignoring for days. She's been passing untold amount of her shitey work on to me today as well - again ignoring the important stuff.

 

She's back in the office tomorrow, if I suddenly disappear from the forum, you'll know that I've finally cut her fucking throat.

[ZonkoVille77]

You defo need to arrange for her to have a fall. Preferably over her own droopy** tits so it looks more legit.

 

 

**I am taking it for granted that they are very droopy titties cos otherwise you would have been rubbing up against her up to now, and not wishing her a painful existence.

[Elite]

Why don't you go higher up Mook, she obviously a cunt who'd stitch you up given half a chance. You could take her place.

[Mook]

The Director is up this week, I'm going to have a word with her, I've been due a promotion for a while now & I can't be this moron's assistant much longer without someone being brutally murdered with a laptop.

[Trumo]

The Director is up this week, I'm going to have a word with her, I've been due a promotion for a while now & I can't be this moron's assistant much longer without someone being brutally murdered with a laptop.

 

Clear them both out and become DIrector yourself.

[sir roger]

BBC I-player. Epically shit and getting worse by the week.

 

The main broadcaster in this country, being subsidised at £13pm by practically every household in the country and they cannot be arsed to get this sorted to even an acceptable standard. Looking to watch the latest Whitehouse & Mortimer episode on catch-up, not a particularly difficult request you would think. Took me nearly a quarter of an hour of incorrect programmes loading and that fucking circle going around before it started. Missed something that was said about 5 minutes in & made the mistake of trying to rewind 10 seconds , the fucking circle again & then it goes off. Start again and basically have to watch the first 5 minutes again as I can't trust the Fast-forward function. Stops again for no obvious reason twice before the end.

 

Intended to watch the programme to chill me out and revel in its bucolic charm & end up with my blood pressure through the roof & veins popping out in my forehead.

[Trumo]

BBC I-player. Epically shit and getting worse by the week.

 

The main broadcaster in this country, being subsidised at £13pm by practically every household in the country and they cannot be arsed to get this sorted to even an acceptable standard. Looking to watch the latest Whitehouse & Mortimer episode on catch-up, not a particularly difficult request you would think. Took me nearly a quarter of an hour of incorrect programmes loading and that fucking circle going around before it started. Missed something that was said about 5 minutes in & made the mistake of trying to rewind 10 seconds , the fucking circle again & then it goes off. Start again and basically have to watch the first 5 minutes again as I can't trust the Fast-forward function. Stops again for no obvious reason twice before the end.

 

Intended to watch the programme to chill me out and revel in its bucolic charm & end up with my blood pressure through the roof & veins popping out in my forehead.

 

iPlayer is miles better on a browser than it is via the tablet app or via the TV.

[sir roger]

Handy to know Trumo , but I wanted to watch it on my tv , not a lot to ask surely for a television service.

[Harry Squatter]

The BBC latest score page is always 7/8 minutes behind the actual game. Has been for about 10 years.

[Dougie Do'ins]

LG business support. Fuck off you utter shower of incompetent cunts. What's the fucking point of offering support if you refuse to communicate by phone ? 

[lifetime fan]

BBC I-player. Epically shit and getting worse by the week.

 

The main broadcaster in this country, being subsidised at £13pm by practically every household in the country and they cannot be arsed to get this sorted to even an acceptable standard. Looking to watch the latest Whitehouse & Mortimer episode on catch-up, not a particularly difficult request you would think. Took me nearly a quarter of an hour of incorrect programmes loading and that fucking circle going around before it started. Missed something that was said about 5 minutes in & made the mistake of trying to rewind 10 seconds , the fucking circle again & then it goes off. Start again and basically have to watch the first 5 minutes again as I can't trust the Fast-forward function. Stops again for no obvious reason twice before the end.

 

Intended to watch the programme to chill me out and revel in its bucolic charm & end up with my blood pressure through the roof & veins popping out in my forehead.

 

The fast forward and rewind on it is utter fucking wank.

[Harry Squatter]

Cheeky robbing bastards.

 

Put a bed out in the front yard this morning that I had dismantled. Was going to take it to the tip or give it to someone we know to reassemble it after they said they would possibly have it.

 

This van doing some work on the house down the road pulls up and asks for it but I said no because I thought they were cheeky twats just randomly asking. I put it in the entry before going out for the day. Anyway I get home before and it was gone. Not too arsed about the bed but it's just the fact that these cheeky twats have come back to my house after I said no, made the specific effort of looking for it on my property and decided to take it.

 

Also when I was getting my front wall done a few years ago I had a few bricks left over. The same fella who did my wall was doing the guy over the roads front wall. The cheeky cunt builder decided to come over to my garden and help himself to the left over bricks. I was getting the back garden returfed and asked who had taken the bricks and they said the brickie came over and took them saying that I had already asked him. Told the fella over the road to knock 200 quid off the price and the cheeky twat was livid.

[sir roger]

On a more positive note , if you want rid of any scrap metal / knackered washing machines etc. you can just leave them at the end of your path & a van with East European chaps will whizz them ( usually knock first to be fair ) within a day.

[Harry Squatter]

Yep. Not overly arsed about what they robbed. Just the big fat sweaty cunt who cheekily came and asked for them has been down the entry and nicked them after being told no.

[Pidge]

Using 'Learn' as a noun is the fresh new hell of corporate turbo-twat babble.

 

'Lesson' isn't jargon, nor is it stuffy language.  It's basic fucking english and there's no need to use a mind-numbing Fisher Price alternative you fucking idiots.

[Bjornebye]

She's so busy noting down the fact that I'm in the kitchen that she can't be arsed to reply to really important client e-mails that she's been ignoring for days. She's been passing untold amount of her shitey work on to me today as well - again ignoring the important stuff.

 

She's back in the office tomorrow, if I suddenly disappear from the forum, you'll know that I've finally cut her fucking throat.

Get. It. Smashed.

 

You are turning into Si

[Remmie]

There must be some kind of unwritten agreement throughout the world that if you happen to be that tosser playing your fucking shite music really loud, it will inevitably be cheesy repetitive dance music that you subject everyone to. Never any other genre.

 

I'm in a small town in Ukraine, this rule still applies. The same beat has been playing for half an hour aka the same 5 second sample on repeat 3,000 times. What is the least bit appealing about this?

[Remmie]

Car arms are completely useless. Their sole purpose appears to be keeping you awake at 4am unless you happen to own that car and then you'll sleep right through it. Does anybody actually bother to check if a car is being robbed when they go off, because I sure don't. In fact I end up hoping it does get stolen so I don't have to hear the fucker any more.