Have a rant thread

[Dr Arthur De Sabre]

On 11/01/2020 at 07:06, Stouffer said:

Fuckin Nissan electronics. 

 

Let's hide the one fusebox you'll ever need access to under the headlight, and just to be a proper bellend shall we put it under ther battery too.

 

We could be proper arseholes and turn it upside down an all.

 

Hope you remembered to make the wiring loom short as fuck so you can't even turn it round to see what you're doing.

 

Nissan  Renault faced cunts.

Is it possible you were coming at this from the wrong side?

[Dr Arthur De Sabre]

On 01/07/2020 at 01:54, Section_31 said:

The way the British business model is based largely on shafting people. Saw some blert on Granada from the Blue Planet Aquarium the other night crying the blues about opening again and how they'd lost revenue etc.

 

I went ages ago, it costs about nine grand to get in and is basically a bigger version of a chav's fish tank. You go to the Sea Life Centre in the States and they've got Orcas doling out handjobs. 

 

Same when new pubs/restaurants open and for a few months or maybe a year they have good deals on, steak nights and the likes. Then, as  time goes by,  the steak gets a bit fattier, the chips fewer, and you have to start paying for the sauce. We're absolutely the worst for this 'bare minimum' mindset. 

Aquariums are for wankers, fish belong in the sea - especially Killer Whales.

[Dr Arthur De Sabre]

On 02/07/2020 at 08:45, Doctor Troy said:

WH smith are absolute twats who seem to monopolise the having you by the balls situation.

 

Was in hospital last week with my son and the WH Smith in Alder Hey hikes up their prices big time, got an energy drink for £1.20 but saw it in a shop today for 65p. They basically almost double their prices in hospitals, airports and train stations because the twats know you cant be arsed going anywhere else or that there's no alternative anyway.

 

On 02/07/2020 at 08:50, Bjornebye said:

Just walk out with it. 
 

more than once I’ve been in a queue ata train station wh smiths for too long and just leant over and asked for a carrier bag then walked out. They’re too oblivious anyway. 

 

On 02/07/2020 at 17:36, Bruce Spanner said:

I do that at Waterloo all the time.

 

The man, be dammed! 

 

On 02/07/2020 at 19:49, Stront19m Dog™ said:

 

I think this is mainly a function of the extortionate fees companies are charged to set up in those places. Airports in particular are the biggest chiselers you will find, and are typically taking more than 10% of the gross sales of concessions.

I think the whsmiths marketing model is that they pick sites with high rent but also high footfall.

add in the light fingered bunch which drives profits down (or costs up).

they are over here in airports and major train stations. Never seem to sell the very basic things you may want after a couple of weeks away - Bread and Teabags.

long haul flight UK to Aus, you just want to get home and have a nice cup of char and some good quality Brexit bread (thick, white).

[Dr Arthur De Sabre]

On 04/07/2020 at 02:21, Bjornebye said:

Been sat in all day working. Right near the door. Not necessarily waiting for a parcel but due a few things I've ordered off Amazon. (Scales and a bath mat). Anyway no-one has knocked the door. My bird had popped out to see her nan and as she came back in there was a parcel from them on the doorstep. No note pushed through, definitely no knock at the door either. Wankers. 

 

Its only about 35 quids worth of stuff but should I just wait a few days and say they haven't been delivered? Its their own fucking fault. 

 

On 04/07/2020 at 03:32, Captain Turdseye said:

No doubt it was your fault that your old scales needed replacing though, you fat twat. 

Just get a bath mat that’s says you fat bastard, jobs a good un, don’t need scales.

[Dr Arthur De Sabre]

14 hours ago, Section_31 said:

When a couple bring their baby to a coffee shop, cafe, or unfortunately these days - a pub - and it starts looking at you or making noises or whatever, and the couple look at you as if to say "well are you gonna fucking coo over our kid then or what?". 

 

What is this Children of Men? Leave me the fuck alone.

“Who’s an ugly little bastard then?” Might help.

If one of them says you can’t say that to their kid, tell them you were talking to the kid about them.

On 24/07/2020 at 07:02, lifetime fan said:

Nights drawing in already. 
 

Fuck you bellends that look forward to winter. 

Sound when you lot start getting early evenings, means we shall soon be getting the warm sun back.

[Bjornebye]

4 minutes ago, Colonel Kurtz said:

People singing at concerts. I’ve paid £65 for a ticket to hear the band, not some pissed up wanker’s fucking karaoke version. Saw Leonard Cohen at the O2 and it was ruined by the fat middle aged women behind us bellowing out the words all night. Fucking outrageous behaviour. 

You'll be on mumsnet. 

[Bobby Hundreds]

Fuck you British weather, grey sky bitch!

[Bjornebye]

8 minutes ago, Colonel Kurtz said:

The British Band competition is making me begin to think you are that women who was behind me at the O2. She had an Oasis tour T shirt, a bit fat and needed her roots doing. Is that you ?  

Yes. 

[cloggypop]

21 minutes ago, Colonel Kurtz said:

The British Band competition is making me begin to think you are that women who was behind me at the O2. She had an Oasis tour T shirt, a bit fat and needed her roots doing. Is that you ?  

Sounds about right. Did she look the spit of Toadfish off Neighbours? 

[Bjornebye]

Mums funeral yesterday. Absolutely spectacular turn-out. Well over 100 people at the cremates with the vast majority knowing they would have to stand outside in the rain. 

 

Loads of people at the wake in Prescot Guildhall, great songs she loved, lots of tears, whiskey and merriment. 

 

I'd paid 250 odd quid for the catering and to be fair it was superb. They had it all set up for when we all arrived and the spread was great. 

 

As often happens the catering was over-estimated and there was loads of food left towards the end. The woman we used said she would be back around 5ish to box up what was left for us etc. She turns up and most people had left save for our side of the family and a few stragglers (mums neighbours who we hardly know). We all went back to my mums afterwards (just close friends and family) and someone said they were hungry so I said all the buffet should be here. Nowhere to be seen. I assumed we had forgot to pick it up and left it at that, pissed, not that arsed. 

 

She's just told me that she saw 3 'guests' leaving with it not long before we left. She didn't recognise them (but had noted them as having been sat there all afternoon drinking) and assumed they were my mums husbands side and were taking it back to the house. They didn't. They fucking took it home. The scruffy, dirty cunts. We have no idea who it was either so save for him putting something on facebook (which no-one will own up to anyway) the cunts have fed themselves for a good 3/4 days there by literally stealing food from a funeral. 

[halewood pete]

30 minutes ago, Bjornebye said:

Mums funeral yesterday. Absolutely spectacular turn-out. Well over 100 people at the cremates with the vast majority knowing they would have to stand outside in the rain. 

 

Loads of people at the wake in Prescot Guildhall, great songs she loved, lots of tears, whiskey and merriment. 

 

I'd paid 250 odd quid for the catering and to be fair it was superb. They had it all set up for when we all arrived and the spread was great. 

 

As often happens the catering was over-estimated and there was loads of food left towards the end. The woman we used said she would be back around 5ish to box up what was left for us etc. She turns up and most people had left save for our side of the family and a few stragglers (mums neighbours who we hardly know). We all went back to my mums afterwards (just close friends and family) and someone said they were hungry so I said all the buffet should be here. Nowhere to be seen. I assumed we had forgot to pick it up and left it at that, pissed, not that arsed. 

 

She's just told me that she saw 3 'guests' leaving with it not long before we left. She didn't recognise them (but had noted them as having been sat there all afternoon drinking) and assumed they were my mums husbands side and were taking it back to the house. They didn't. They fucking took it home. The scruffy, dirty cunts. We have no idea who it was either so save for him putting something on facebook (which no-one will own up to anyway) the cunts have fed themselves for a good 3/4 days there by literally stealing food from a funeral. 

Fucking disgraceful that mate

[Section_31]

39 minutes ago, Bjornebye said:

Mums funeral yesterday. Absolutely spectacular turn-out. Well over 100 people at the cremates with the vast majority knowing they would have to stand outside in the rain. 

 

Loads of people at the wake in Prescot Guildhall, great songs she loved, lots of tears, whiskey and merriment. 

 

I'd paid 250 odd quid for the catering and to be fair it was superb. They had it all set up for when we all arrived and the spread was great. 

 

As often happens the catering was over-estimated and there was loads of food left towards the end. The woman we used said she would be back around 5ish to box up what was left for us etc. She turns up and most people had left save for our side of the family and a few stragglers (mums neighbours who we hardly know). We all went back to my mums afterwards (just close friends and family) and someone said they were hungry so I said all the buffet should be here. Nowhere to be seen. I assumed we had forgot to pick it up and left it at that, pissed, not that arsed. 

 

She's just told me that she saw 3 'guests' leaving with it not long before we left. She didn't recognise them (but had noted them as having been sat there all afternoon drinking) and assumed they were my mums husbands side and were taking it back to the house. They didn't. They fucking took it home. The scruffy, dirty cunts. We have no idea who it was either so save for him putting something on facebook (which no-one will own up to anyway) the cunts have fed themselves for a good 3/4 days there by literally stealing food from a funeral. 

Shit that pal, sorry to hear it.

 

Same happened at my nan's funeral. I was like a son to her, used to stay a couple of nights a week to keep her company, me cousins were cunts and hadn't seen her for years, one used to thieve off her. 

 

Come the day of the funeral they all packed into the funeral car so there was no room for me, argued over who was having the flowers and divvied up the food between them.

 

Nothing unleashes the inner scruff like a funeral, sadly.

 

[KMD7]

Well first of all really glad she got a great send off.  Disgusting that those fuckers made off with the grub though. Sub-human scum.

[A Red]

1 hour ago, Bjornebye said:

Mums funeral yesterday. Absolutely spectacular turn-out. Well over 100 people at the cremates with the vast majority knowing they would have to stand outside in the rain. 

 

Loads of people at the wake in Prescot Guildhall, great songs she loved, lots of tears, whiskey and merriment. 

 

I'd paid 250 odd quid for the catering and to be fair it was superb. They had it all set up for when we all arrived and the spread was great. 

 

As often happens the catering was over-estimated and there was loads of food left towards the end. The woman we used said she would be back around 5ish to box up what was left for us etc. She turns up and most people had left save for our side of the family and a few stragglers (mums neighbours who we hardly know). We all went back to my mums afterwards (just close friends and family) and someone said they were hungry so I said all the buffet should be here. Nowhere to be seen. I assumed we had forgot to pick it up and left it at that, pissed, not that arsed. 

 

She's just told me that she saw 3 'guests' leaving with it not long before we left. She didn't recognise them (but had noted them as having been sat there all afternoon drinking) and assumed they were my mums husbands side and were taking it back to the house. They didn't. They fucking took it home. The scruffy, dirty cunts. We have no idea who it was either so save for him putting something on facebook (which no-one will own up to anyway) the cunts have fed themselves for a good 3/4 days there by literally stealing food from a funeral. 

Pity them for the sad lives they must lead if they have to steal food from a funeral

[Bjornebye]

I'm still in shock. I've laughed at the sheer front of it. Fucking headcases 

 

Only blemish on an otherwise wonderful day. 

[Tj hooker]

That's fucking disgusting behaviour,  what goes around comes around I always believe karma will come to people who behave like that 

[Trumo]

Indian weddings are full of the freeloading type. They'll get invited because the bride or groom's parents sort-of know them. At least 80% of the people there will have no idea who they are. They'll keep themselves to themselves once they're there. They'll usually be the first up when it's serving time and will make sure to have seconds. They won't bother to say hello to the wedding couple or their parents. They'll never have a gift (even an envelope with a small amount of money). Once they've eaten, they'll just fuck off. Usually with a bottle of two of soft drinks. During 'wedding season' they'll have been invited to at least half a dozen weddings, and this is pretty much every year so this will be routine. I almost admire them.

[Remmie]

2 hours ago, Bjornebye said:

Mums funeral yesterday. Absolutely spectacular turn-out. Well over 100 people at the cremates with the vast majority knowing they would have to stand outside in the rain. 

 

Loads of people at the wake in Prescot Guildhall, great songs she loved, lots of tears, whiskey and merriment. 

 

I'd paid 250 odd quid for the catering and to be fair it was superb. They had it all set up for when we all arrived and the spread was great. 

 

As often happens the catering was over-estimated and there was loads of food left towards the end. The woman we used said she would be back around 5ish to box up what was left for us etc. She turns up and most people had left save for our side of the family and a few stragglers (mums neighbours who we hardly know). We all went back to my mums afterwards (just close friends and family) and someone said they were hungry so I said all the buffet should be here. Nowhere to be seen. I assumed we had forgot to pick it up and left it at that, pissed, not that arsed. 

 

She's just told me that she saw 3 'guests' leaving with it not long before we left. She didn't recognise them (but had noted them as having been sat there all afternoon drinking) and assumed they were my mums husbands side and were taking it back to the house. They didn't. They fucking took it home. The scruffy, dirty cunts. We have no idea who it was either so save for him putting something on facebook (which no-one will own up to anyway) the cunts have fed themselves for a good 3/4 days there by literally stealing food from a funeral. 

Just seen this mate had no idea, so sorry for your loss (mum, not food) 

[Bjornebye]

13 minutes ago, Remmie said:

Just seen this mate had no idea, so sorry for your loss (mum, not food) 

Thanks Rem. 

[easytoslip]

Yes sorry about the loss of your Mum, I dread that day, but those other scumbags puts you at a loss for words. 

[Bjornebye]

5 minutes ago, Colonel Kurtz said:

Disgraceful behaviour. Proper scum nicking sandwiches from a funeral. How do these people sleep at night. Anyway sounds like you gave her a good send off and you should be proud of that. 

Sandwiches? And the rest! Wraps, pork slices, chicken drumsticks, coleslaw, pork-pies (they may have been eaten because they were outstanding homemade ones), Quiche, Cakes, fucking loads! I'd easily over done it with the food and when I looked over at about 3, over half was still left, the woman had put it all in boxes. I wouldn't be arsed about a few butties but fuck me this was literally boxes of food the fuckers! Haha I'm still laughing with shock. 

 

Yeah nice one mate. 

[Paulie Dangerously]

The sad thing is, Stig, that they probably didn't do it maliciously.  Some people are just so fucking thick and retarded that they don't know the basics of decency and what is socially acceptable.  

[Bjornebye]

4 minutes ago, Paulie Dangerously said:

The sad thing is, Stig, that they probably didn't do it maliciously.  Some people are just so fucking thick and retarded that they don't know the basics of decency and what is socially acceptable.  

Yeah my auntie actually said in a message just now that maybe they needed it more. I'm ok with it now but still.... bastards haha 

[Paulie Dangerously]

2 minutes ago, Bjornebye said:

Yeah my auntie actually said in a message just now that maybe they needed it more. I'm ok with it now but still.... bastards haha 

"At least it didn't to waste eh?"

 

Some people man, fucking hell haha.  

[Geoff Woade]

Would it be insensitive if I asked for the caterers details? I’m lucky enough to have kids who’s birthdays fall within 2 weeks of each other and they’re young enough to have joint parties. Where I’m unlucky is this means that the one party has to be an outrageous display of keeping up with the joneses so they’ve always become some sort of Jacobean banquet alongside cirque de solei thanks to their mother. If I can get away at 250 for what sounds like a top spread I’ll be made up. I’ll even video myself dressing down the inevitable piss takers who fill their cars with the leftovers if that would make you more inclined!