Have a rant thread

[sir roger]

Daughter of the wife's friend has a name spelt CAOIHME.

 

It is pronounced Keever 

 

Sweat was bulleting off me when she asked me to get a new Liverpool shirt with her name on the back.

[KMD7]

2 minutes ago, sir roger said:

Daughter of the wife's friend has a name spelt CAOIHME.

 

It is pronounced Keever 

 

Sweat was bulleting off me when she asked me to get a new Liverpool shirt with her name on the back.

Can also be pronounced as Kweeva. Freaks my nut out to this day

[Bobby Hundreds]

Well I'm never playing scrabble against anyone Irish. Probably spell chair as coxzqu.

[Captain Turdseye]

1 hour ago, Bruce Spanner said:

Amateurs!

 

Purple slurpy is what all the cool kids are OD’ing on, Xanax and prescription grade cough syrup.

 

Fuk u up boi!

 

Got any numbers, lad?

[Bjornebye]

The Irish broadcast of Father Ted is actually Father Ystweheaved 

[Bruce Spanner]

1 hour ago, Captain Turdseye said:

 

Got any numbers, lad?

 

Only Tony’s ma’s number, I assume you’ve got it already though? 

[Captain Turdseye]

Shit, lazy, barely qualified tradesmen. 

 

Getting a new bathroom put in. The estate agent that manages the house for the landlady arranged them. They told me on Thursday that it’d be done by Saturday night. They’re still not finished. The tiler couldn’t even be bothered to show up on Saturday after I’d got up at 7:30 because they said he’d be here early and they’ve been getting off every day between 2pm and 4pm. All the while the upstairs of my house stays looking like a fucking building site, the toilet isn’t plumbed in and we’re having to go to the in-laws to shower. One of the tiles on the windowsill is popping up a couple of millimetres more than the rest, which will annoy me for the rest of time and they’ve also left a scrape mark on the wall on the stairs which was only painted recently. Fucking knobheads, man. I’m so angry that I’m on the verge of sending in a strongly worded letter of complaint. 

[Remmie]

If you're feeling really evil offer them tea with half a spoon less sugar than they have requested.

[Captain Turdseye]

Said he’d be here at nine this morning. Still waiting. Fucking charlatans. 

[lifetime fan]

38 minutes ago, Captain Turdseye said:

Said he’d be here at nine this morning. Still waiting. Fucking charlatans. 

 

Email the estate agents informing them you will be withholding a pro rata percentage of the rent for each day you have not had a fully functioning bathroom. Plus costs for a painter to repair the damage caused by the workmen. 

 

See how fucking quickly it will be finished then. 

[Captain Turdseye]

I fully intended to get hold of the estate agent but just after I posted that I remembered that I had the number of one of the lads who ripped out the old bathroom the other day. Messaged him and they had someone else round here within five minutes. He’s just putting everything back in now and says the tiler who’s gone AWOL will be here to finish grouting the floor tiles later. Next time I speak to the estate agent I’ll be letting them know that their tradesmen, and especially the tiler, are taking the piss. I might even ring them later today if he doesn’t show up. 

 

Having them get on the phone to the landlady would be a last resort. I’ve got no complaints about her, she’s sound. Just an old lady who rents out this one house to top up her pension. We only needed a new bathtub after the boy slipped over and broke the old one last week but she said just to replace the whole bathroom. Nice lady, shite estate agent. 

[Rico1304]

45 minutes ago, Captain Turdseye said:

I fully intended to get hold of the estate agent but just after I posted that I remembered that I had the number of one of the lads who ripped out the old bathroom the other day. Messaged him and they had someone else round here within five minutes. He’s just putting everything back in now and says the tiler who’s gone AWOL will be here to finish grouting the floor tiles later. Next time I speak to the estate agent I’ll be letting them know that their tradesmen, and especially the tiler, are taking the piss. I might even ring them later today if he doesn’t show up. 

 

Having them get on the phone to the landlady would be a last resort. I’ve got no complaints about her, she’s sound. Just an old lady who rents out this one house to top up her pension. We only needed a new bathtub after the boy slipped over and broke the old one last week but she said just to replace the whole bathroom. Nice lady, shite estate agent. 

You need a bath mat mate, one of those anti slip ones. 

[Captain Turdseye]

10 minutes ago, Rico1304 said:

You need a bath mat mate, one of those anti slip ones. 

 

That is a fucking great idea. 

[lifetime fan]

1 minute ago, Captain Turdseye said:

 

That is a fucking great idea. 

 

Hahahahaha

[Guest Pistonbroke]

Had a check up at the dentists this afternoon. Result, three molars need extracting next Tuesday. Fuckety fuck. Never had any real problems with my teeth apart from having Wisdom teeth extracted in the 80's. That'll be 5 molars they've extracted this year and mainly due to receding gums, old age is a cunt! 

[easytoslip]

16 minutes ago, Pistonbroke said:

Had a check up at the dentists this afternoon. Result, three molars need extracting next Tuesday. Fuckety fuck. Never had any real problems with my teeth apart from having Wisdom teeth extracted in the 80's. That'll be 5 molars they've extracted this year and mainly due to receding gums, old age is a cunt! 

It certainly is , age is the cruellest of things.

[Captain Turdseye]

Matey decided to fuck off at half two and then let my dog out when he was leaving. It took me and Mrs Turdseye ten minutes to chase him all over the place and get him back in. Surprisingly the tiler never showed up and I’ve just had a phone call saying he’ll be here at nine in the morning. I’ve heard that somewhere before. Loads of their shit is still here, upstairs is still trashed and there’s a used toilet outside my front door. I’m just about ready to strangle some cunt. 

[Bjornebye]

46 minutes ago, Captain Turdseye said:

Matey decided to fuck off at half two and then let my dog out when he was leaving. It took me and Mrs Turdseye ten minutes to chase him all over the place and get him back in. Surprisingly the tiler never showed up and I’ve just had a phone call saying he’ll be here at nine in the morning. I’ve heard that somewhere before. Loads of their shit is still here, upstairs is still trashed and there’s a used toilet outside my front door. I’m just about ready to strangle some cunt. 

You couldn't strangle a kitten. 

 

On a serious note though I think the old dear is due a 'visit' 

[Captain Turdseye]

Just now, Bjornebye said:

You couldn't strangle a kitten. 

 

On a serious note though I think the old dear is due a 'visit' 

 

Who? Your ma? I’ve told her, anytime. 

[Bjornebye]

4 minutes ago, Captain Turdseye said:

 

Who? Your ma? I’ve told her, anytime. 

Hahahahaha mazing.

 

How the fuck did he break the bath? Is that even possible? He can't weigh as much as your maa surely ? 

[magicrat]

2 hours ago, Pistonbroke said:

Had a check up at the dentists this afternoon. Result, three molars need extracting next Tuesday. Fuckety fuck. Never had any real problems with my teeth apart from having Wisdom teeth extracted in the 80's. That'll be 5 molars they've extracted this year and mainly due to receding gums, old age is a cunt! 

Hope you like soup mate

[Captain Turdseye]

Just now, Bjornebye said:

Hahahahaha mazing.

 

How the fuck did he break the bath? Is that even possible? He can't weigh as much as your maa surely ? 

 

He said he was leaning out to open the window when he slipped over. His entire weight must have landed on the one knee. He had some grazes and a bruise but the bath came off worse. Little divvy. 

[Guest Pistonbroke]

9 minutes ago, magicrat said:

Hope you like soup mate

 

I received the same sympathy from the wife and kids. Good job I don't mind soup, and being as I do the majority of the cooking you can guess what they'll be having. 

[Bjornebye]

11 minutes ago, Captain Turdseye said:

 

He said he was leaning out to open the window when he slipped over. His entire weight must have landed on the one knee. He had some grazes and a bruise but the bath came off worse. Little divvy. 

This isn't making sense at all. What really happened mate 

 

You had Balotelli round didn't you. 

[magicrat]

1 hour ago, Pistonbroke said:

 

I received the same sympathy from the wife and kids. Good job I don't mind soup, and being as I do the majority of the cooking you can guess what they'll be having. 

Good luck, doesn't sound like much fun. Had some unpleasant times in the dentist chair myself.