Have a rant thread

[Rico1304]

There is a fella round where i live who won 3 million on the lottery. My Mrs used to work with his Mum. He still does overtime in work and he rents his old house out and moved in with his ma. Why he appeared in the echo with a bottle of champagne god knows because he's done nothing with the money. His bird fucked him off because he said going the Maldives for a honeymoon was too expensive. He even proposed to her with a shitty cheap ring.

They should take the money off him.

[Harry Squatter]

Best story i heard about him is when he was with his ex. When you win the lottery you get invited to these events at lavish places where people pay megabucks to have their weddings. When you get there they have people there from luxury car dealerships, jewellers, villas in Spain/Portugal.

 

Anyway his bird asked to try a diamond necklace on. He made her ask about it for 25 minutes with the jeweller and tried it on. At the end he just said thanks and put it back in the box and walked off making her look a complete tit. No wonder she dumped him

[Moo]

White van drivers.

 

Cunts who think they own the road.

 

I'm pyar fuming here!

 

Just crossed over a road in town about an hour ago and some biff in a white van was pulling out as I was half way across.

 

He was about 10-15 yards away and instead of waiting for me to cross, he continued pulling out and then accelerated pretty much straight at me. He was literally about half a metre away from me as he passed me. If I didn't put a spurt on, he could've easily clipped me.

 

It genuinely seemed like he deliberately accelerated at me. I'm fucking livid.

 

However, driving like a cunt isn't the best idea when your van is covered in signs for your multi-national company employer who have a very easy to navigate online complaints section.

 

Didn't get the plate number, alas. But, not even arsed if the fucker gets sacked or in trouble. If it was an old dear or not someone with full mobility, they'd probably have got clipped.

 

It was ridiculously close to me. I'm not shook up. Just fucking livid that somebody could be that irresponsible.

 

Actually tempted to grass the cunt up to the police if I get his details.

To be fair it does sound like you were dawdling a bit.

[Harry Squatter]

The driver was probably too busy reading the daily star and eating his Greggs pastie to notice you.

[Harry Squatter]

A fella wins 3 million and his bird jibs him? Nah, not for me.

They didnt get married but she got fed up of him being a tight arse and embarrassing her. She had a good job and got fed up of waiting for him to sort a wedding out, when he did he wanted to do it as cheaply as possible and all her friends and family wondered why. In tge end she got fed up of him and binned him.

[Elite]

They didnt get married but she got fed up of him being a tight arse and embarrassing her. She had a good job and got fed up of waiting for him to sort a wedding out, when he did he wanted to do it as cheaply as possible and all her friends and family wondered why. In tge end she got fed up of him and binned him.

I can understand being sensible with the money (I wouldn't go to those parties where the leeches are waiting) but you could still buy a lovely house, nice car (s), beautiful holidays every year, nice clothes, gadgets and still have £2m left to live off the interest.

 

Those mad cunts who blow it all and end up skint in a year are as bad.

[TheBitch]

Car headlights these days.

There's just no fucking need. I'm blinded if a car is coming towards me, I'm blinded if there's a car behind me, just fuck off.

 

I've got a piece of shit '99 plate Golf, the headlights on that are more than adequate and I don't blind other road users.

 

So to sum up, fuck off new car headlights.

[Paulie Dangerously]

Car headlights these days.

There's just no fucking need. I'm blinded if a car is coming towards me, I'm blinded if there's a car behind me, just fuck off.

 

I've got a piece of shit '99 plate Golf, the headlights on that are more than adequate and I don't blind other road users.

 

So to sum up, fuck off new car headlights.

Agreed, those ones with the slight blue tint are the worst.

[Section_31]

It's been done to death but I'm absolutely sick of these charity chuggers. The weird, scientology-style thousand yard stares, the faux patronising politeness (hello sir you look very smart today) what is this a Dickens novel? The vests, the deliberately trying to engage you even though you're doing a wide arc to avoid them. Gargantuan shitbirds.    

[lifetime fan]

Ten pin cunting bowling.

 

My niece was ill over Christmas/New Year and I had tonsillitis so had her for the day on the weekend to do presents and take her out for the day.

 

So we go ten pin bowling, 2 adults and 1 child for two games? £42!!!

 

Forty two fucking quid.

 

For 20 minutes of throwing a ball at some fucking plastic pretending to be wood cunts.

 

So after having been robbed blind we then have to endure CCC.

 

Chav Cunt Central.

 

Parents getting pissed, playing the bandits, throwing money at their brats telling them to go away and they’re then running fucking riot.

 

I’ve seen better behaved nightclubs at kicking out time but parents not giving a fuck, ‘4 stella, 4 of them jäger bombs and you sell any fags or rizlas’?

 

Tried my hardest to make sure Sophie enjoyed her day out but I was constantly wanting to start a ruck with the ferral cunts.

 

Won’t be going ever again!

[Captain Turdseye]

It is an absolute joke, the price of bowling. I try to take my kids on a Tuesday when it’s half price. I think lot of people do the same because if you want to get in on a Tuesday during any of the school holidays you need to book about a week in advance.

[PestiRed]

It's been done to death but I'm absolutely sick of these charity chuggers. The weird, scientology-style thousand yard stares, the faux patronising politeness (hello sir you look very smart today) what is this a Dickens novel? The vests, the deliberately trying to engage you even though you're doing a wide arc to avoid them. Gargantuan shitbirds.

 

First engagement - no thanks, I donate only through charities that I’m familiar with

 

Second engagement - no

 

Third engagement - fuck off

 

Normally works fine

[Bjornebye]

IT Helpdesk twats. I hate them.m

[lifetime fan]

First engagement - no thanks, I donate only through charities that I’m familiar with

 

Second engagement - no

 

Third engagement - fuck off

 

Normally works fine

 

“No, I donate directly to charities personal to me, gift aid it and don’t want to waste money on paying you”.

[Mook]

IT Helpdesk twats. I hate them.m

 

Our ones are a shower of fascist twats.

 

We've got this system where anything that goes to IT has to be logged online, I'll log a problem or a request & then I get an e-mail asking me a question about my issue at which point I need to log back into the online system to update the call with my response rather than just reply with a fucking e-mail. Does my head in.

[Guest Kemlynreds]

IT Helpdesk twats. I hate them.m

 

We just call them IT desk.

[Bjornebye]

Our ones are a shower of fascist twats.

 

We've got this system where anything that goes to IT has to be logged online, I'll log a problem or a request & then I get an e-mail asking me a question about my issue at which point I need to log back into the online system to update the call with my response rather than just reply with a fucking e-mail. Does my head in.

 

We aren't allowed to call them here, we have to log it then wait up to 24 hours for a response which is normally some really condescending email which you reply to and then have to wait up to another 24 hours for a reply. I need something sorting today and I got really arsey earlier in my response, it took that for him to remote log onto my PC to see for himself that I have an actual issue. He has gone away to look at it. What the fuck he is looking at without being on my PC is beyond me. Animal porn probably. 

[Harry Squatter]

Adults who rely on their parents to do absolutely fucking everything for them. DIY, being a taxi service, childcare, sorting them out with a car and a place to live, borrowing money and bailing them out of debt. There's a few people i know who woukd end up having a nervous breakdown and cease to function if their parents weren't still wiping their arses even into their late 40s.

[Bjornebye]

Adults who rely on their parents to do absolutely fucking everything for them. DIY, being a taxi service, childcare, sorting them out with a car and a place to live, borrowing money and bailing them out of debt. There's a few people i know who woukd end up having a nervous breakdown and cease to function if their parents weren't still wiping their arses even into their late 40s.

 

My ex and her sister are fucking murder for this. Literally cant function without mummy and daddy. The parents are as much to blame and this particular quartet of nepotism happen to be among the biggest shitstains on the planet. 

[Harry Squatter]

My ex and her sister are fucking murder for this. Literally cant function without mummy and daddy. The parents are as much to blame and this particular quartet of nepotism happen to be among the biggest shitstains on the planet.

Its a joke. They have no concept of the real world.

 

I know some selfish lazy cow who split up from her husband and her Dad has done her kitchen and bathroom free of charge. She doesnt work yet always palms her kids off to her parents of a weekend because she "needs a break". Every time she goes out her Dad picks her up even at 2am and drops her friends off in the process. She's been bailed out several times by her parents when she's racked up debts.

 

My parents might have been the tightest bastards ever but at least i have the skills to function on my own

[Remmie]

We aren't allowed to call them here, we have to log it then wait up to 24 hours for a response which is normally some really condescending email which you reply to and then have to wait up to another 24 hours for a reply. I need something sorting today and I got really arsey earlier in my response, it took that for him to remote log onto my PC to see for himself that I have an actual issue. He has gone away to look at it. What the fuck he is looking at without being on my PC is beyond me. Animal porn probably. 

Hi Stig, I work on one of these desks, at work now actually. In Milton Keynes. One of our customers is First Group plc who look after trains and we do their IT. You must be seething right now!

 

The service we provide is marginally better than you describe, but not much. I bet the following is the case: Your company has decided that meeting a response deadline and receiving polite customer service are more important than getting your fault fixed promptly. This will be reflected in the Service Level Agreements with IT and the training level of the people you deal with. The person you messaged doesn't give a fuck that your deadline is today and you need it fixing straight away, every cunt says that. They probably hoped they could get a quick fix out of you and when it appeared they couldn't they buggered off and gave it to some egghead specialist team who are probably inundated and will pick up the problem from a queue.

 

My advice:

 

1. The catchphrase from the IT crowd. Works so often it's not funny.

2. Google the problem, thats probably more than your IT person will do.

3. Borrow your colleague's account and do whatevers urgent.

4. If you can prove its urgent don't just write URGENT in caps and be a sarky cunt, explain how it has a direct correlation to the performance of either the company finances, health & safety and/or customer relations. If it doesn't meet any of those criteria and is just some arse licking report to impress your nazi manager; it probably isn't as important as you are making out.

5. Escalate through the correct channels once an SLA (or KPI or whatever the fuck you call it) has been breached.

6. Kick the fuck out of a vending machine.

7. Come to Milton Keynes for Lager tops and roundabouts.

 

God I bored the shit out of myself writing that, I need a new job.

[Rico1304]

Adults who rely on their parents to do absolutely fucking everything for them. DIY, being a taxi service, childcare, sorting them out with a car and a place to live, borrowing money and bailing them out of debt. There's a few people i know who woukd end up having a nervous breakdown and cease to function if their parents weren't still wiping their arses even into their late 40s.

I know a girl who’s parents have her kids 3 nights a week. That’s all weekend and 1 night in the week. In the week they have to take them to school obviously. On the other days her brothers take it in turns to collect them in the morning and take them to school.

 

Last years pipe dream was she’s going to train to be a paramedic, this years is that she’s going to be a nurse.

[Bjornebye]

Hi Stig, I work on one of these desks, at work now actually. In Milton Keynes. One of our customers is First Group plc who look after trains and we do their IT. You must be seething right now!

 

The service we provide is marginally better than you describe, but not much. I bet the following is the case: Your company has decided that meeting a response deadline and receiving polite customer service are more important than getting your fault fixed promptly. This will be reflected in the Service Level Agreements with IT and the training level of the people you deal with. The person you messaged doesn't give a fuck that your deadline is today and you need it fixing straight away, every cunt says that. They probably hoped they could get a quick fix out of you and when it appeared they couldn't they buggered off and gave it to some egghead specialist team who are probably inundated and will pick up the problem from a queue.

 

My advice:

 

1. The catchphrase from the IT crowd. Works so often it's not funny.

2. Google the problem, thats probably more than your IT person will do.

3. Borrow your colleague's account and do whatevers urgent.

4. If you can prove its urgent don't just write URGENT in caps and be a sarky cunt, explain how it has a direct correlation to the performance of either the company finances, health & safety and/or customer relations. If it doesn't meet any of those criteria and is just some arse licking report to impress your nazi manager; it probably isn't as important as you are making out.

5. Escalate through the correct channels once an SLA (or KPI or whatever the fuck you call it) has been breached.

6. Kick the fuck out of a vending machine.

7. Come to Milton Keynes for Lager tops and roundabouts.

 

God I bored the shit out of myself writing that, I need a new job.

Hahaha good man you Rem

[Bjornebye]

[Bob]

This rants at me. Specifically at me missing trains. Fucks sake.