Have a rant thread

[Furmedge]

My reaction to Mothercare bastards;

 

 

I've posted a lot in the last ten minutes. Coffee is great for the soul.

[Guest davelfc]

Dog Owners, not all obviously. Just the ones that allow their fucking dog to piss in the lift and then don't come back to clean it up. I know where you live and later tonight I'm going to piss on your door, see how you like that.

[A Red]

I've held this in long enough.

 

Fuckin estate agents, solicitors, mortgage companies and the fuckwits buying our property. They all need bastard shooting.

 

The simplest thing takes days which drag on into weeks and we seem to be the only ones that show any sense of urgency and get things sorted as soon as we are asked. We should have moved a month ago and every week that goes by costs us money. I'm fucked off with them all!

[Furmedge]

I've held this in long enough.

 

Fuckin estate agents, solicitors, mortgage companies and the fuckwits buying our property. They all need bastard shooting.

 

The simplest thing takes days which drag on into weeks and we seem to be the only ones that show any sense of urgency and get things sorted as soon as we are asked. We should have moved a month ago and every week that goes by costs us money. I'm fucked off with them all!

Amen brother. I'm dreading our next house move. If I can help it, it'll be the house I'll spend the rest of my days in.

[Dr Nowt]

"Would you like these three chocolate bars for a pound?", no I drove my car into a petrol station to get petrol (well diesel actually), and walked to your counter with card in hand to pay, if I wanted sustenance I'd have got it from the mile long fucking chocolate counter you make me walk past to get to you.

 

This isn't a rant, but the other day I needed some engine oil and as soon as I walked into the garage the lass behind the till called shopboy out from the back to come and assist me.  He tried to hand me a 4 litre bottle and when I said I didn't need that much he pointed out it was only a few quid more expensive than 1 litre.  While I was thinking that's actually a fair shout he was wittering on about some free gift.

 

Bird at the till ends up giving me a foldaway shovel with serrated edge, a 28 piece tool kit with precision screw drivers, a folding chair and a stainless steel flask.  She either mistook me for Raoul Moat or didn't realise it must presumably be an offer where the customer gets to select one of said gifts, and just kept piling them up. 

 

I walked out of there like this:

 

[A Red]

Amen brother. I'm dreading our next house move. If I can help it, it'll be the house I'll spend the rest of my days in.

Thanks for anticipating my pain. Fuck knows how the removal company will perform if we ever get to that stage. Bastards probably.

[Acid]

Fuckin hell... That was at least 3 pages ago. I can't go fuckin anywhere these days.

 

I'm contemplating being an absolute cunt to someone just so I can post it on here.

[lifetime fan]

Me and Acid should become a cop duo.

 

[Acid]

How did you find that picture of me and Sly?

[Dr Nowt]

 

Where fighting's concerned that would make them 'Can go and Dash'.

[Skidfingers McGonical]

Haha, Acid has taken a bit of a beating the last week. To be fair, if she'd have said it in a jokey way or been a bit sympathetic with my missus id have been okay with it, but when they look down their nose at you and say it sternly (and reacting like we'd just got the baby into ciggies or something), with the wife looking a bit helpless and close to tears about it, I suppose it's up to me to make a bit of a tit of her in return. Plus, three hours kip is not good for my temper.

This the Mothercare in Aintree?

[Furmedge]

This the Mothercare in Aintree?

It is Skids. Stay clear, I opened up a can of whoopass in there.

 

PS How long until Becky has Mini-Skids? (Yes, I did laugh at how that reads)

[A Red]

I could list 20 things about our house move that has fuckin driven me to distraction. And thats before I got onto the twats buying ours.

 

Heres just one -

 

Apparently the property we are buying falls into a parish whereby the church has the ancient right, if it needs work doing to it, to go to each household and force them to make a contribution. No limit. What the fuck!! Guess who has to pay a fuckin indemnity to cover this eventuality?

[Furmedge]

I'd rather buy an old build than a new one. Ours is 11 years old and I've never lived in a house which has had so many problems. The majority of it is down to throwing it up in record time with the cheapest materials. The windows are drafty, the boiler is on the blink and the walls are paper thin. Not like old houses that were built to last.

[Boss]

[Rico1304]

I could list 20 things about our house move that has fuckin driven me to distraction. And thats before I got onto the twats buying ours.

 

Heres just one -

 

Apparently the property we are buying falls into a parish whereby the church has the ancient right, if it needs work doing to it, to go to each household and force them to make a contribution. No limit. What the fuck!! Guess who has to pay a fuckin indemnity to cover this eventuality?

Isn't that being repealed next year?

[Alan Sex]

Hating this selling lark. How the fuck do you keep a house showhome tidy with 3 little kids running around?

 

Then when there is a showing we have to fuck off out for a few hours except there's no money to spend as the place we bought conditionally on selling this one wanted an initial payment about 3 times higher than we expected so had to clean out our account.

 

Fuckety fuck.

[A Red]

Isn't that being repealed next year?

Well thats made me feel fuckin loads better!

[A Red]

Heres another -

 

The bloke we're buying from basically rebuilt from scratch. Unfortunately he cant prove that each and every planning permission requirement has been adhered to. The building work passed all regulations so is fine to move into. We've asked our solicitor to get him to either get what is required or pay the £500 indemnity.

 

Guess what? The seller wont pay so we have to, either that or back out.

 

Bastards!

[Bjornebye]

I could list 20 things about our house move that has fuckin driven me to distraction. And thats before I got onto the twats buying ours.

 

Heres just one -

 

Apparently the property we are buying falls into a parish whereby the church has the ancient right, if it needs work doing to it, to go to each household and force them to make a contribution. No limit. What the fuck!! Guess who has to pay a fuckin indemnity to cover this eventuality?

 

What the fuck has this got to so with Acid bailing on a chewy wrapper?

[Dr Nowt]

Acid would pay the indemnity and chuck in another couple of hundred to ensure there are no hard feelings.

 

And by hard feelings, I mean raised voices.

[A Red]

Get Acids people to talk to my people. But not on the fucking phone!

[Carvalho Diablo]

Dealing with banks, building societies, mortgage advisers and estate agents.

 

Fuck off with all the matey bollocks, I can't stand you and you just want to fleece me. Let's not pretend this is anything other than what it is; a bunch of lying, no good, duplicitous, odious cunts all trying to arse rape me.

 

Join the Freemasons. Problem solved.

[Skidfingers McGonical]

It is Skids. Stay clear, I opened up a can of whoopass in there.

 

PS How long until Becky has Mini-Skids? (Yes, I did laugh at how that reads)

Thought so.

 

A week Sunday Stu. Hope all is well with your new little 'un.

 

Defo got the wife's looks didn't she.

[Skidfingers McGonical]

I'd rather buy an old build than a new one. Ours is 11 years old and I've never lived in a house which has had so many problems. The majority of it is down to throwing it up in record time with the cheapest materials. The windows are drafty, the boiler is on the blink and the walls are paper thin. Not like old houses that were built to last.

The new build I rent is fucking tiny. Might be moving and in the near future to a bigger and better older house with a boss garden (renting again)

 

It's about 3 times the size of our current abode.