Dunkan Jenkins on Twitter

[Captain Turdseye]

Off topic but did anyone see the link that Louis Saha tweeted last night? A bluenose in work was showing it about this morning.

 

http://bit.ly/xnbdBl

 

Weird bastard.

[Cardie]

I don't get it, well...I do, just don't see the appeal.

[TheHitman]

Jenkins | 06 February 2012

 

The most exciting new football writer to emerge onto the scene in many years, Duncan Jenkins has written a guest blog on how to become a top football journalist, just like him.

 

after at least a few months of blood sweat tears and dissappointment as a perspiring football journalist i think it is fair to say in at least one sense i have now made it. i am not rolling in five pound notes, not yet anyway mates, but i have more followers on twitter than damian johnson of the B.B.C, and also joe lovejoys, who is tim lovejoys dad and according to his twitter bio is “a former football writer of the year, has reported on the game for 40 years, 25 of them in a senior capacity for major national newspapers”.

i had never heard of him until recently but my point still stands mates.

stand out

 

its a very competative market out there with literally hundreds of millions of football bloggers and perspiring journo’s. the key to making it big time like me is making yourself stand out from the crowds. i have many strings to my bone and i feel it is that which has helped me stand out from the other bloggers. so how do you stand out.

keep it real

can you imagine henry winter standing behind the goal with all the big lads and nutters singing “lets all have a disco” or “lets go fuckin mental” when your team wins a corner. i think not.

 

can you imagine paul haywards singing “wheres your caravan” to the gypo centre half with long hair. no way mates.

can you imagine tony evans shouting “COME ON THEN” and scrapping toe to toe with nutters like the B.B.C crew (blades business crew). actually yes you can forget that bit L.O.L.

 

the point i am trying to make is thus. imho onion if a footy journo wants to be respected he needs to have put in the hard hard yards on the terraces. i’ve had my head kicked in countless times at football matches (as can be seen on my blog HERE) and as such people can see i am the real deal. you sense that many journo’s can not say the same thing.

stanloy victor collymore has recently opened up a mass debate on twitter about posh football journo’s and “class” in football and he is right mates. the likes of henry and paul are lovely men and good at writing, but they have definately never shouted “oooohhhh your shit aaagghhh” at a goalkeeper and i feel this sort of thing is key to your integraty as a journo. therefore despite there massive success they have very little. integraty i mean.

friends in high places

 

the old phrase is “its not how many people you know its who you know” and it is true. go out of your way to make friends with big names. this is possible with twitter and i am now lucky enough to count the likes of wazza (i call him chunk now i’ve got to know him), fizzer (phil neville) and tea bag (gary neville) among my pals. they are down to earth lads and i’ve enjoyed some great banter with them. one day if they ever reply to me i may well get a scoop out of them and then i’ll really be cooking with gas.

 

phil browns the ex hull and preston manager is another pal of mine. i met him in 2010 in the changing rooms at h&m in hull, so i said “alright phil hows it going mates” but he could not hear me as he was listening to his ipod. so i tapped him on the shoulder and he said “hey mates stay cool” and he clicked his fingers and walked off. i could hear him in his booth singing “groove is in the heart” by the pop group delight. BTW way he has a great voice he sounds like jimmy summerville. a man of many talents.

tatical awareness

 

we all need to be tatical experts if you want to be taken serious and luckily i am one (a tatical expert). the likes of jonathon wilson, sid low and my firm friend micky cox from ‘zonal marking’ have raised the bar when it comes to tatical analysis – if in doubt simply search google for there opinions and copy them. thats exactly what gary neville does for M.N.F. i love gary but like it or not thats exactly what he does.

I.T.K

 

on top of tatical awareness it helps if you have a source to help you get the big scoops which the industry calls “the big scoops” or “the back page scoops”.

i manage to blend my renowned tatical mouse with being I.T.K as i have a very good source based in the north west who is very close to liverpool F.C and a few other clubs.

but beware mates. things can change very quickly in football and you can easily get stuff wrong and the reaper cushions can be unpleasant. if you do get stuff wrong people on twitter will treat you like a leopard - ask ian mcgarry or tony evans - and if you are a repeat offender you can quickly loose all credibility and more importantly followers (on twitter). again ask ian mcgarry.

conclusion

that concludes my guide to being a credible football

[Redder Lurtz]

That blog he wrote is superb.

[KevieG]

Thought he was going a bit stale but his superbowl stuff and his how to make as a football journo have him back up there. Quality.

[Skidfingers McGonical]

Brilliant. Jut brilliant.

 

That bit about Phil Brown in H&M is genius.

[polymerpunkah]

Like watching dry paint.

[KevieG]

Like watching dry paint.

 

That's a bit like one of his tweets mates.

[polymerpunkah]

Some of it is actually funny, but I couldn't resist.

[TheHowieLama]

Who was the fella on the other forum who did the funny name thing and the changey wordish in his posts -shanu something or sahab whatza or mesha whodat - somebody kabib.

Sabu Pundit!! Yes, Jenkins got some pundit in him.

[sparta7]

that Rooney poem is absolutely brilliant.

[Redder Lurtz]

[the walsh]

dont do twitter but he sounds very funny woul love to see more of he,s stuff.

[Rico1304]

He's like Les Dawson playing the piano, to be able to play it badly, you've got to be good.

[Babb'sBurstNad]

He's like Les Dawson playing the piano, to be able to play it badly, you've got to be good.

 

Spot on.

 

He's come out with some good stuff in the past couple of days, but it's scary how many don't get it.

 

Reminds me of the conversation i once had with my dad about The Larry Sanders show not being real - in the end i had to give up.

[Redder Lurtz]

dont do twitter but he sounds very funny woul love to see more of he,s stuff.

 

Here's his blog. Well worth a read, very funny.

 

duncan jenkins's blog

 

He's like Les Dawson playing the piano, to be able to play it badly, you've got to be good.

 

This is precisely right. It's easy to be a shit poster, I should know, but to be shit and very funny at the same time takes some skill. He also really seems to know stuff that's going on. Obviously he's a parody but he's said before he's got connections with people around Liverpool. We'll probably never know who.

[Babb'sBurstNad]

Don't know if you saw, but someone found where his profile pic is from, no idea if it's the same guy who's posting though.

 

defective yeti — Haircut

[stringvest]

He's brilliant.

[BCM]

Utter Shite

[Dan Vito Corleone]

Fantastic. The best thing on twitter by a million miles.

[Randy Marsh]

Superb, I retweet far too many of his posts. Hilarious.

[WaltonRed]

I didnt get on to him being a pisstake for a bit!

 

love his little profile bit by his photo, mates cracks me up everytime he says it too

[njackets]

Those poems are comical genius!

[Liquid football]

Police lets have some news tomorrow the siren is deafening

[Redder Lurtz]

From what he was saying last night he's been getting a load of abuse from our "supporters" of late. Doesn't surprise me really. I think one thing Twitter regularly demonstrates is just how many lowlifes follow our club. Embarrassing.