Gary Speed

[bossy]

 

Why, have you got one for sale?

 

You have never made a funneeeee comeback quip.

[Jack the Sipper]

 

N'Gog's hanged himself too? this is terrible.

[Redder Lurtz]

600 guests? Seriously everyone, fuck off. The thread now consists of a mixture of mongspeak and people bollocking those people who are speaking mong. You've got better things to do with your time surely? Look, University Challenge is just starting. Now fuck off and learn something and stop clogging up our site you shower of bastards.

[navbasi]

Well I hope the "guests" click on some sponsored links while they are.... That's the least they can do!!

[Mathewbet1]

It's sad when people get to the stage Gary got to they feel there's no wat out they feel trapped. I bet his friends and family are blaming them selves but maybe no one was to blame . So sad .

[Section_31]

It's sad when people get to the stage Gary got to they feel there's no wat out they feel trapped. I bet his friends and family are blaming them selves but maybe no one was to blame . So sad .

 

I think that'd be one of the worst things for those close to him. If it was one of my mates I'd be thinking should or could I have done more to be there for them. Imagine if you turned a mate down for a pint or something and then something like this happened and you were left feeling like maybe they wanted to get something off their chest? It'd be an awful feeling.

[melons]

Some people should really think before they post.

 

 

A man, relatively young man saw fit to end his life prematurely. With the initial reports rightly or wrongly people have assumed depression and maybe that's what's left people stunned, that illness that has such a stigma, swept under the carpet for decades has been brought to the forefront of peoples attention. Many people, think about it - 1:4 will have had a battle with mental health over the course of a year. 1:5 with depression - not just run of the mill i feel like shit for the day, but the fuck me i can't even face getting out of bed, wishing they could curl into a ball and die because of the never ending black hole they're in, the hours of agony and mental despair are far too much for anyone to stand level of feeling shit. You know you can feel so shit that you can't even cry, that actually even those around you would probably have a better life if you weren't around.

 

 

 

With the assumptions of depression you think that the death of Speed wouldn't affect people? I beg to differ, because for at least 1:5 it's a 'there but for the grace of God' line. It should affect people, it should make people realise that even when you're in the pits of that blackness suicide shouldn't an option. Because believe you me, when you're in that shit, struggling to think, it's bloody glorious option.

[RobbieOR]

Top post Sherry.

[AL66GOLF]

Excellent post Melons - It's great to be articulate!

[gingerhulk]

My mate commited suicide 2 years ago (he was only 20) and non of us had a clue he was depressed, there was nothing to make us believe he would take his own life. We only found out he felt this bad was when we got the phone call to say he had hanged himself. If anything good (completely the wrong phrase to use I know) is that more men come forward and admit they are depressed and can get the help they desperatly need.

[xerxes]

With the assumptions of depression you think that the death of Speed wouldn't affect people? I beg to differ, because for at least 1:5 it's a 'there but for the grace of God' line. It should affect people, it should make people realise that even when you're in the pits of that blackness suicide shouldn't an option. Because believe you me, when you're in that shit, struggling to think, it's bloody glorious option.

 

I agree. It has facilitated a debate which is not normally had.

 

The fact that he was so well known as a high profile club player, and International Manager offers suicide a profile it does not normally get. That millions saw him on football focus hours before his death has also created a connection which otherwise would not have been there.

 

Sadly, it may also inspire some to say “if Gary can do it, so can I”. Hopefully the generally sympathetic response to this incident will cause others to seek the help that Speed was unable to.

[melons]

Cheers lads, got a bit carried away there, far too many typos.

[Jonny83]

Regarding the guest thing, I've been away for the weekend and been catching up on the threads tonight and only just logged back in, so we can blame CCleaner for one of those "guests". Still doesn't account for the other 500-odd mind.

 

Nothing else to say other than R.I.P.

[gkmacca]

It's no less tragic, but the logic suggests it was 'misadventure'.

[chauncey]

It's no less tragic, but the logic suggests it was 'misadventure'.

 

Expand plz

[Dan Vito Corleone]

Incredibly sad and shocking. RIP.

[23_Carra_Gold]

It's no less tragic, but the logic suggests it was 'misadventure'.

 

Who the fuck wanks in their garage while their kids and Wife are in the house?

 

Cop on

[graham]

sad news

rest in peace gary

[brucespanner]

When the black cloud descends the emptiness and hollowness of life makes you ponder mortality, am I what is, or what is not? It seeks me out and calls me it's only friend, alas it has no regret nor joy to send, and soon I find solace in it's beauteous embrace, only to be told it didn't forget me........I forgot it.

 

The waves crush and exhilarate, confuse and condemn, for all to see but for those who are them, which just live, alone, afraid in the company of friends.

 

It's beauty, love, loss, fear, despair and so much more that falls in-between, that for those that never know it, it shall always be forever unseen.

[Guest ShoePiss]

It's no less tragic, but the logic suggests it was 'misadventure'.

 

Why? The Police stated that there were no suspicious circumstances which means there's a very good chance a note was left.

 

What you're suggesting is an accident.

[zigackly]

If suicide is the answer, what is the question?

TUESDAY 29 NOVEMBER 2011

 

When a seemingly contented man such as Gary Speed takes his own life, loved ones may wonder how they missed the warning signs. But too often, there are none, says the psychotherapist Phillip Hodson.

 

Although suicide is no longer a crime – if you attempted it in England and Wales before 1961 you could end up in prison – it remains a puzzle utterly disturbing to those left behind. Never more so than when the person appears to have everything to live for. Or when the end arrives without warning as was the case with Welsh football legend Gary Speed, who died last Sunday.

 

"He was as bubbly as I've known him", said the BBC1 television presenter Dan Walker, who had interviewed Speed the previous day. "He was talking about his kids, how they were really coming on, and talking about playing golf next week. Even small things like how he'd just got into Twitter. It's awful to think someone who was so gifted and so well liked with the rest of his life to look forward to has been cruelly removed. He was in such a good mood about the show and said he'd love to come back before Christmas."

 

Logic suggests that people who behave like this are either subject to catastrophic mood swings or have the ability of long-term sleeper spies to lead a double life. If the former, you'd expect there to be some sort of advance indication of turmoil. If the latter, you'd want a posthumous explanation. Alas, there are often neither – as I sometimes have to explain to bereaved families.

 

Our current thinking about the mind remains alarmingly simple. In this era of all-conquering neuroscience, we point to a bit of the brain that appears to be scan-connected to another and then think we can explain it. The world of cognitive therapy has little time for the "hidden self". But what if the mind is not its conscious contents?

 

How else to understand the idea of "masked depression" in a teenager who is the life and soul of the family party while secretly self-harming? Or the sportsman who is jolly on the box at noon and loses his life by nightfall?

 

My experience of talking to people in distress is that they tell others – even their closest – only a proportion of what bothers them while being simultaneously unaware of all that bothers them. We should recall that it's difficult to know a mind that does not know itself.

 

This is specially relevant when it comes to depression in men. Suicide is the leading cause of death among men under the age of 35 in Britain. Although we know that preponderant factors include matters that society might mitigate – such as poverty and untended mental illness in the community – there remains the problem of failed expectations of the self.

 

While on the surface a man may appear to be a worldly success, beneath this carapace of certainty he may feel like a loser, worry about his continuing ability to earn or even assume that the signs of ageing are the symptoms of a fatal illness. He could encounter all the problems he's been avoiding since some major emotional crisis in the past. More than likely, he mistakenly feels unable to share any of these difficulties with his family. At this point, the drastic options may become more beguiling.

 

In one respect, male depression seems inherently different from female. Broadly speaking, if you ask a woman whether she's depressed or not she will probably tell you – whereas most men will say they're fine because admitting to emotional weakness is against our codes. So whereas women have one problem – men can make two; the problem itself, and the fact that there are no remedies we will access.

 

Perhaps this is why women are twice as likely as men to be diagnosed with depression but men are three times more likely to kill themselves. I suggest that if the national depression statistics for men included the consequences of excessive stress, drinking and drug abuse as well as male workaholism and road rage they might be better balanced. (Of course, anyone may have to stop being depressed for a moment to find the energy to commit such an "aggressive" act as suicide – but it would torture language to say it's a sign of a balanced mind to kill yourself while loved, in good health with a young family to care for.)

 

For surviving relatives, there will be complications of grief – not just "why is he dead?" but "how could he do this to us?" Worst still, if it's in public, you lose even the defence of privacy. Unlimited guilt and anger compete. But these are the facts. You had no warning. You did nothing proportionate to cause the death (even if there had been angry words). You couldn't stop it on the day in question. It made sense for a moment to the person you lost – but they were fallible, and they got it wrong.

 

Phillip Hodson is a Fellow of the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy Home | Counselling and psychotherapy - It's good to talk

[sparta7]

The "gay speed" tag, whoever left that you're a twat.

[Josef Svejk]

If suicide is the answer, what is the question?

 

What word describes the act of killing oneself?

 

 

 

[Ginny]

Some people should really think before they post.

 

 

A man, relatively young man saw fit to end his life prematurely. With the initial reports rightly or wrongly people have assumed depression and maybe that's what's left people stunned, that illness that has such a stigma, swept under the carpet for decades has been brought to the forefront of peoples attention. Many people, think about it - 1:4 will have had a battle with mental health over the course of a year. 1:5 with depression - not just run of the mill i feel like shit for the day, but the fuck me i can't even face getting out of bed, wishing they could curl into a ball and die because of the never ending black hole they're in, the hours of agony and mental despair are far too much for anyone to stand level of feeling shit. You know you can feel so shit that you can't even cry, that actually even those around you would probably have a better life if you weren't around.

 

 

 

With the assumptions of depression you think that the death of Speed wouldn't affect people? I beg to differ, because for at least 1:5 it's a 'there but for the grace of God' line. It should affect people, it should make people realise that even when you're in the pits of that blackness suicide shouldn't an option. Because believe you me, when you're in that shit, struggling to think, it's bloody glorious option.

 

Thats a good post. I never understood depression until my sister got post-natal depression. She went from a massive high achiever in our family to someone I barely recognised. She has come out of it now after about 4 years of agony, but it should never be taken lightly.

[dennis tooth]

Gary speed tho. Player with a bit of everything, 15 goals a season, workhorse, ace player, never dived or whinged just got on with the game. Cant understand the likes of tom r, speeds been on the scene since day one of the pl and barely missed a game. No i didnt cry but its like watching anyone youve grew up familiar with, it takes something out of you. Propa baller he was and always seemed like one of the good lads in footy. For him to go out like this is just fucking crazy, crazy shit. Someone like gazza you wouldnt put it past but i tend to think someone offed him and theres a massive cover up going on, its just easier than believing he killed hisself.