Gary Speed

[TheDrowningMan]

This is what stan collymore wrote a few days ago about his depression. You need to read this.

 

TwitLonger — When you talk too much for Twitter

 

Yeah, the piece I mentioned in my previous post featured his recent Tweets. I really gained a lot of empathy for the man, and having read that so recently somehow makes Speed's death all the more startling.

[Rorschach08]

everyone seems to have immediately jumped to the conclusion that he has been hiding long-term depression.

 

could it not have been a snap decision based on some devastating news or even sexual misadventure (I hope it's not the latter for his families sake)

 

thoughts with him either way, just seems strange that people think that only those suffering long-term depression attempt suicide.

[Anny Road]

I've never been diagnosed with depression but reading that thing Collymore wrote posted by Gingerhulk really struck a nerve. I have dark dark weeks followed by complete euphoria. I am the opposite of a dimmer switch, on or off. 100% or fuck all. I've thought of suicide even planned it but always always the thought of a gang of kids crying over why their dad is not here is a price not worth paying.

 

Either Gary Speed is selfish or his despair was far beyond anything I have experienced. I suspect it is the later and rather than being selfish it is an act which rightly deserves sympathy not only for his family but for him

[TheDrowningMan]

everyone seems to have immediately jumped to the conclusion that he has been hiding long-term depression.

 

could it not have been a snap decision based on some devastating news or even sexual misadventure (I hope it's not the latter for his families case)

 

thoughts with him either way, just seems strange that people think that only people suffering long-term depression attempt suicide.

 

It could have been, yes. It's just not as common for people with no history of mental health issues to reach such a conclusion.

[zigackly]

This is what stan collymore wrote a few days ago about his depression. You need to read this.

 

TwitLonger — When you talk too much for Twitter

 

Cheers for posting that.

[cosmo]

everyone seems to have immediately jumped to the conclusion that he has been hiding long-term depression.

 

could it not have been a snap decision based on some devastating news or even sexual misadventure (I hope it's not the latter for his families case)

 

thoughts with him either way, just seems strange that people think that only people suffering long-term depression attempt suicide.

 

I think if this was the case then it would be fairly obvious when his body was found and im sure journalists with their sources wouldnt be tweeting about mental illness if they knew. I guess people may be jumping the gun is assuming it's depression but I would have thought someone committing suicide on a snap decision was a lot more uncommon.

[LFC 6 Times]

Whatever happened, he was a top man, player and professional and it's very upsetting to see him dead R.I.P. Gary YNWA, hopefully gone to a better place.

[Elite]

Most people have considered it at some point but to actually go through with it, he must have been in utter turmoil. RIP. YNWA.

[kopboy11]

Genuinely gutted by this.Having lost someone close the same way 10 years ago & seen the devastation it caused & the effects it still has to this day my thoughts are with his family and friends today.Always liked Gary,seemed like a good bloke & was a top professional.A sad sad day.

[s(k)aturation]

everyone seems to have immediately jumped to the conclusion that he has been hiding long-term depression.

 

could it not have been a snap decision based on some devastating news or even sexual misadventure (I hope it's not the latter for his families sake)

 

thoughts with him either way, just seems strange that people think that only those suffering long-term depression attempt suicide.

 

Someone respected has died.

The subject of depression has come up.

People on here are discussing it.

There's (generally) some healthy discussion going on and respect being paid.

I wouldn't call it jumping to conclusions.

And it's certainly more interesting/enlightening than amateur sleuthism about possible sexual misadventure.

[liverbobs]

I've never suffered depression of the magnitude suffered by those who take the final step (obviously) but I've encountered it for an extended period of my life nonetheless. Luckily that has more or less evaporated in recent years, but when the black cloud is above you it can be hard to find shelter before it pisses all over you.

 

You're right to say that people hide it, but when it comes to asking for help, that can be complicated by the fact that you often end up being told to pull yourself together; there's an assumption, made out of a lack of comprehension and understanding rather than malice, that it's like an on / off switch which can end up with you internalising it. Of course, there are various reasons (maybe you're too proud and just don't want to bother anyone, maybe, as you say, you feel beyond help etcetera) for keeping it hidden and that is but one.

 

I was reading an article only a day or two ago about Stan Collymore's bouts with the disease. Not exactly my favourite ex-Liverpool player, but I found myself rooting for him and came away with a better understanding of his failings. Gary Speed? I really cannot believe this. It's just utterly shocking, a real gut punch, and I can only hope for the best from here on for his family.

 

I'll never see it as a genuinely selfish act on Speed's part, because it's beyond comprehension, it's beyond rational thought. If you've a healthy mind, you don't do something like this, just as you don't get an infection in a healthy tooth, but it's a lot easier to have a bad tooth pulled than a propensity for severe depression. I understand why some see it differently, I just disagree wholeheartedly and think that you are, at best, severely misguided.

 

Excellent post.

[Guest LFD]

This has really upset me.

 

He is liked by all football fans (and that's rare). He had everything, it would seem and was so young.

 

Very sad.

[RobbieOR]

everyone seems to have immediately jumped to the conclusion that he has been hiding long-term depression.

 

could it not have been a snap decision based on some devastating news or even sexual misadventure (I hope it's not the latter for his families sake)

 

thoughts with him either way, just seems strange that people think that only those suffering long-term depression attempt suicide.

 

I'll be honest here, that has crossed my mind.

 

Didnt the guy that played Bill in 'Kill Bill' die from the exact same thing?

[Red Hot]

Tragic news. R.I.P.

[Champ]

RobbieOR, see Skaro's post.

 

It doesnt matter how he died. Its just a tragedy for him and those who knew and loved him. And quite disturbing for a lot of others who didnt know him at all. All seems such a waste

[gingerhulk]

Got to say people on here talking about their battles and encounters with depression is enlightening, i applauded you for talking open-inly about it. Such a shame it takes something like what has happened today for people to talk.

 

Depression is a silent killer and me being personally (like many others) affected by the repercussions suicide, i hope more people can start to open up and not be afraid to talk about how they are feeling.

[RobbieOR]

RobbieOR, see Skaro's post.

 

It doesnt matter how he died. Its just a tragedy for him and those who knew and loved him. And quite disturbing for a lot of others who didnt know him at all. All seems such a waste

 

Without doubt mate. I wasnt being disrespectful at all.

 

Very sad.

[Trucker Paddy]

 

SO sad, and so fucking selfish. That's right, Dan Walker and many of the MOTD team, and everyone else who spoke to him yesterday will forever be affected by his act. I have every sympathy for those with depression, dont you worry about that, but my first reaction is always to err on the side of 'you selfish fucker, thanks for that'.

 

God bless his two young boys.

 

You ignorant clown

[melons]

Speaking from some personal experience, hiding depression is one of the "skills" you can develop as a result of having it.

 

The hiding, however, is thoroughly exhausting.

 

Imagine stress, but with no adrenaline, upside or seeming end in sight.

 

Couldn't of described it better myself.

 

 

I've read few replies about him being in good spirits yesterday, often when a decision has been made you become relieved, you can see an end in sight and you know the pain and turmoil is going to end. I'm not saying this is what happened, just that you shouldn't read too much into him 'seeming well' yesterday.

 

 

I can only echo what others have posted, very sad news and my thoughts go out to his family.

[magicrat]

Liked Gary Speed. He was a fine player and came across as a very decent bloke. Just like to add my name to the list of those who have expressed their shock at the news, I have no desire to try analyse why it happened or respond to to the idiot that thought it was a good idea to share his thoughts on how selfish it was of him. Its just very sad for all that knew and admired him . RIP

[polymerpunkah]

RIP

 

Terrible news, whatever the reason.

[markcd]

The fact that there is only 1 or 2 dumb posts in a 5 page thread about an ex Everton and Leeds player, is testament to how he was viewed by football fans. Sad loss.

[zigackly]

Got to say people on here talking about their battles and encounters with depression is enlightening, i applauded you for talking open-inly about it. Such a shame it takes something like what has happened today for people to talk.

 

Depression is a silent killer and me being personally (like many others) affected by the repercussions suicide, i hope more people can start to open up and not be afraid to talk about how they are feeling.

 

I think it's very difficult because you expect so many people to have ingrained misunderstanding or even prejudice about it, and to my mind it's especially difficult for men over a certain age as we were all brought up to think talking about your feelings is "gay" as Liverpool Lad says above. Not that there's anything wrong with being gay either but again; ingrained prejudices and all that, and prejudices that I'll admit I've been guilty of myself in the past.

 

I don't think it's really possible to understand unless you've been through it, work with it, or been extremely close to someone who has been through it.

 

I must admit I have been encouraged by most people's attitudes in this thread. Also, if anyone learns from it then it's no bad thing. That tweet you posted from Collymore I found particularly poignant, and as you said, everyone should read that before forming an opinion on depression. When it's got you in it's grip, it's the mental equivalent of having four smashed limbs, and I'm really not exaggerating.

 

Everyone will have felt pretty down from time to time, but I would differentiate that from being literally unable to cope with "normal" life, even to the point of not being able to get out of bed, wash, or eat, as Collymore describes.

 

I think I'm pretty certain that I would never go down the road of suicide myself as I would not want to put that on my family and I can weather it out, but you never really know until you're at that point do you? I certainly won't disrespect anyone who feels forced to make that decision.

 

Rorschach and Robbie make good points that we don't really know what happened in Speed's case, but that doesn't mean this kind of discussion is pointless.

Edited November 27, 2011 by zigackly

[RoboRiise]

Couldn't of described it better myself.

 

 

I've read few replies about him being in good spirits yesterday, often when a decision has been made you become relieved, you can see an end in sight and you know the pain and turmoil is going to end. I'm not saying this is what happened, just that you shouldn't read too much into him 'seeming well' yesterday.

 

 

I can only echo what others have posted, very sad news and my thoughts go out to his family.

 

 

Exactly.

 

It's a terrible shame, that's for sure. He was a bloody good player, looked to have made the transition into management comfortably and by all accounts was a cracking bloke; not just now in the aftermath of his death but previously as well I can't remember seeing anyone with a bad word to say about him.

[The Tott]

Stunned be this. Scary that I was listening to someone yesterday who seemed fine and enjoying himself on tv and died today. RIP.