The Official Cricket Thread

[Mudface 5,278]

Christ.

[Captain Howdy 1,914]

This whole set up needs overhauling.

[Jairzinho 25,382]

Just when you think they can't be any thicker. 

[Mudface 5,278]

I guess at least they're doing better than the first innings in setting a platform for Mahmood and Leach.

[sir roger 8,852]

How the fuck can you get run out in these circumstances ?

[George Costanza 629]

Root has to go as captain.  This is one too many times our batsmen have put in a utterly gutless performance.  Ironically Root has had one of his best 12 months with the bat but there simply has to be something fundamentally wrong with our mindset, tactics & preperation.

[sir roger 8,852]

The evidence of the two first innings could not have been more clear, the ball is dangerous at first but turns into a marshmallow fairly quickly so be circumspect right ?  Crawley decides to throw a loose booming drive within 10 minutes and gets caught in the slips. They're trolling us.

[corro 137]

This is without doubt the worst England cricket team I’ve ever seen.

They have nothing. Piss poor captain though a decent batsman.  Disinterested top player in Stokes. Spinners who everyone knows can’t take wickets. Useless batting line up. Gonna get a fucking good pasting from whoever they play. 
 

[Jairzinho 25,382]

Looking forward to seeing this batting line up play against New Zealand and South Africa in the summer. 

[Gooch 91]

Root must honestly be one of the worst captains I've ever seen for any country. Im really struggling to think of someone who is worse. I was never a fan of Cook's captaincy, he was too defensive but at least he had a style even if you didn't agree with it and he handled the players well. Root just seems clueless in every department, not a single redeeming feature.

[Josef Svejk 5,381]

On 25/03/2022 at 20:18, Rico1304 said:

He’s popular and knows his grub. 

No denying it. 

[Captain Howdy 1,914]

12 hours ago, Jairzinho said:

Looking forward to seeing this batting line up play against New Zealand and South Africa in the summer. 

Jesus don’t 

[Captain Howdy 1,914]

13 hours ago, corro said:

This is without doubt the worst England cricket team I’ve ever seen.

They have nothing. Piss poor captain though a decent batsman.  Disinterested top player in Stokes. Spinners who everyone knows can’t take wickets. Useless batting line up. Gonna get a fucking good pasting from whoever they play. 
 

Yes it’s the worst English side I’ve ever seen, only two players are test standard.

[Captain Howdy 1,914]

12 hours ago, Gooch said:

Root must honestly be one of the worst captains I've ever seen for any country. Im really struggling to think of someone who is worse. I was never a fan of Cook's captaincy, he was too defensive but at least he had a style even if you didn't agree with it and he handled the players well. Root just seems clueless in every department, not a single redeeming feature.

Cook was brutal with his non declarations 

[VERBAL DIARRHEA 9,742]

Cowardly batting, bowling and captaincy we’re royally fucked.

[Jairzinho 25,382]

Obliterated. Fitting that the player of the series, who outcaptained his opponent by a factor of about twelve trillion, hit the winning runs. 

[Jairzinho 25,382]

Surely that's that for Root. 

[Captain Howdy 1,914]

4 minutes ago, Jairzinho said:

Surely that's that for Root. 

Should have gone a long time ago

[Jairzinho 25,382]

4 minutes ago, Captain Howdy said:

Should have gone a long time ago

Agreed. At no point has he ever looked like a competent captain. He's also the best batsman by some distance so it makes no sense him having the added pressure. 

 

The bar is so low because he's such a shit captain, and because our batting generally is so pathetic (and consequently a new captain that came into the team wouldn't need to average 45 to be worth his place in the team) that it's time to roll the dice. Even with the paucity of options. Root has proven himself to be a tactically inept, uninspiring, pitiful captain. 

[Jairzinho 25,382]

Make Tom Abell captain. Good captain, good age, competent batsman, sensible, even bowls a few medium pacers (to add to the "worth his place in the team"). 

[Creator Supreme 1,740]

Bring England Captain seems to ruin so many good players.

[Captain Howdy 1,914]

56 minutes ago, Creator Supreme said:

Bring England Captain seems to ruin so many good players.

It’s the added pressure, as Jairz says the Captain doesn’t even necessarily have to be all that as a player, see Brearley. We seem obsessed with simply making our best player captain, pound to a pinch of shit if they fucked Root off they’d replace him with Stokes.

[sir roger 8,852]

I think Root must go as he brings nothing to the captaincy other than his own batting brilliance. The problem is that each of the main candidates have question marks.

 

Stokes seems the obvious successor but his recent mental struggles may not be aided by extra pressure.

 

Broad and Anderson ( particularly ) are veterans and were quite critical during the Ashes and it is strongly suggested that Root was behind their non-appearance in the Caribbean which raises the question of Root's mindset if they were promoted.

 

None of the other players used during the Ashes or Windies tours scream captaincy material.

 

I would like to see an outsider like Abell or a relative outsider like Billings get a go.

[sir roger 8,852]

Seen some support in the Guardian for James Vince, pretty good skipper for Hampshire and Southern Braves and certainly no worse with the bat than a lot of the more recent crew.

[VERBAL DIARRHEA 9,742]

Root wants to carry on, yeah and I want boing Jennifer Lawrence. My wish should be more likely.