The Official Cricket Thread

[Indian Red]

No he`s not!

[Manny]

Can we just find a new team please? 11 fat bastards from the Home Counties, whatever. I don't care, I'm suck of this collective ineptitude and I haven't got a clue what else would solve it.

 

Throw these cunts in the sea or something.

[Ian Sea]

Disgraceful.

[Spy Bee]

Predictable!

[TheBitch]

Brainless.

[VERBAL DIARRHEA]

We need to go back to the good old days of Old School Tie and faces fitting jobs for the boys. Oh sorry we have.

[lifetime fan]

Root can at least be cut a bit of slack for his performances so far this summer.

 

Prior needs that bat wrapping round his fucking head.

[Yozzer]

Buttler may as well sort out his travel to Hampshire for the third Test.

[Indian Red]

Please god dont let the tail wag again

[Spy Bee]

We have moments of okay, average cricket, but just when we have the chance to get on top, we throw it away. There's a huge lack of focus and drive with this team, apart from some individual moments of doggedness. They so desperately need a Hussain or a Vaughan, somebody who will just not accept weakness and failure. 

[Manny]

To England

 

Ishant Sharma has seven wickets. Think about that for a second you gang of cunts.

 

Cheers

Manny

[Son of L8]

Well, now at least we've got our best batsmen in. Plunkett and Anderson, 100 to get between them? Piece of piss.

[lifetime fan]

Surely Cook is gone now, as Captain at the very least.

 

If not serious questions need to be asked of Moores.

 

He's come in and taken over a side after a disastrous winter and they're even shitter.

[alles ist gut]

How apt.

[Jairzinho]

Laughable.

 

"Senior players need to stand up"

 

Yes, they need to stand up, walk over to their bag, pack it, and fuck off. Cook, Bell, Prior, Broad, and Anderson have all been pure shite.

 

Out bowled, out batted, out thought. What the fuck are the 20 or so laptop gimps doing? Playing solitaire? Fuck sake, my grandmother could watch five overs of this test and figure out what we're doing wrong before those fucking ludicrous spastics did.

[lifetime fan]

Humiliation complete.

[lifetime fan]

Anyone take Duncan Fletcher back?

[Stickman]

That pretty much sums it up....I thought all the bad blood between the sides would maybe inspire England but I guess I forgot what a bunch of gutless fucks (except Root) they really are.....

[Indian Red]

Lovely. England out bounced by us. How the fuck that happened from 173/4, I`ve no idea, but I`ll take it.

[Stickman]

This card from the 1st test between South Africa and the last team that whupped England puts it into context of how far we've fallen...

 

http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/cricket/scorecard/89369

[Jairzinho]

Can you imagine Steyn and Morkel against this lot...Christ.

[Red Banjo]

Steyn 9-99

Morkel 7-78

 

Haha.

[Guest Pistonbroke]

Once Moheen was out i thought we would collapse. Fucking shambles. Plus India's are mediocre, especially in the bowling department, Sharma is fucking gash yet we make him look like a World class bowler!!! 

 

Cook needs pushing out now so he can concentrate on getting his batting in order. Prior needs sacking for good. Bell needs to sort his fucking game out as well, as a senior player he looks half arsed. 

[Guest Pistonbroke]

Anyone take Duncan Fletcher back?

In a heartbeat. 

[Wicket]

I think i'm in a minority but I feel a bit sorry for Cook.

 

Yes, his captaincy has rightly taken some stick for being very much 'by numbers' and this has coincided with a run of poor form but he's not the first or last captain that this will happen to.

 

For me this is a situation of over 12 months in the making starting before the Ashes tests last year (the home ones), a team that was looking on the stale side and arguably past it's peak and managed to eek out that series win somehow. In fact the evidence was there in New Zealand:

 

Strauss has never been adequately replaced at the top of the order, we've had a succession of stodgy openers such as Compton, Carberry and Robson. For me of all 3, Carberry looks the 'best' but age isnt on his side

 

Anderson for me hasn't looked the same since he had to bowl that massive spell at Trent Bridge (the one where Finn was tanked around by Haddin), his pace is down, and when the ball doesnt swing he looks ripe for the picking. He's still capable of bowling tight spells as he's shown here but the threat just isnt there any more

 

Bell's form is awful, the player of the year curse has seemingly had the same effect it had on Prior last year

 

Prior's form hasn't recovered

 

Add to that:

Trott's situation

Swann 's quitting act

The KP debacle (nobody except the protagonists know about whats gone on)

 

Dont underestimate the effect of Saker either, i've yet to see any real evidence that any of our bowlers have improved under him, quite the opposite in fact. Poor lengths being bowled all the time and seemingly nothing done either mid or post session, run ups being tampered with(Finn) , no ball problems (Stokes).

 

For me, to pin this all on Cook is unfair.