Gimp XI

[Em City]

Am I wrong? Should I pull out all the disgusting things you constantly spew at rico simply because you disagree with his political views? I mean, you're like a rabid mongoose and he's the cobra. You're absolutely brutal.

 

Don't really get the part about my intelligence either. It's a bit irrelevant. I don't think I've ever claimed to anyone on here that I am intelligent. I guess I just seem that way to you since you brought it up. I am quite flattered.

 

Anyways Hades, I find you to be an entertaining poster and a unique personality, but I do think you're a bit deranged.

 

 

This part is the spin. He condones driving the weakest and the poorest in society to be driven to suicide. He and his fellow Tory voters are actually killing people yet you have more of a problem with someone merely wishing these things on them. 

 

Great pre-season training this.

[Dr Nowt]

Great pre-season training this.

Even in training 3 Stacks reminds of that story about Kolo nearly crying when he thought he'd ruined his Arsenal trial by two-footing Henry, Bergkamp and Wenger.

 

A level of desire money can't buy. Bound to rub off on the rest of the team when he's talking them through every game relentlessly.

[Captain Turdseye]

Just post the fucking gimp masks already.

[Trumo]

Just post the fucking gimp masks already.

 

Warning! The following content is NOT WORK SAFE. Click the Show button to reveal.

[Clem H Fandango]

 

Captain silverlining’s legs have long gone but retains his place having graciously agreed a pay-as-you-play one year deal. His new partner at CB is Durango, a gimp for whom the descriptions Lard of the Rings, chaircrushing human greasegun, and PURE CUNT WITH LASHINGS OF FUCK OFF FAT BASTARD are regularly ascribed. His critics are less kind.

 

A blend of youth and experience in defence is provided by the promotion of SCOUSER17UK and FrenchEyeGlass. The former has endured a shaky introduction to gimp life, having – by his own admission – struggled with the language. FEG has been knocking on the dungeon door for years and this stoic commitment to remaining ‘in the red’ has paid off. Congratulations, son.

 

Red Nick was a controversial omission last season but earned his starting berth with some stellar performances in the MF. A loose cannon, what he lacks in nuance Nick makes up for in bona fide, 110% certifiable shoulderchewing mental illness. Unplayable on his day but, for the love of God, never approach this gimp in the showers.

 

Funnneeeee, Antynwa, Code72 and celeryBADboy (the autist formerly known as simon) are all established first-team gimps; the 'split spine' of the side – the spina bifida.

 

Big money signing FanchesterCity blew a hole in dave u’s budget luring him from Bluemoon but he links effortlessly up front with veteran xerxes. An unconventional small man-smaller man combo, these two browbeat opposition defences with their mix of haughty condescension and humourless cuntfuckery. xerxes favours the long game and will attack balls in the ayre all day, night, week, month and tax year long.

 

There’s been a lot made of the questionable call to jettison BringBackBiscan, especially at a time when TLW is woefully gimpless. The guy had everything in his locker to be a world-class WUM but for various reasons (turning up drunk; sectarianism; psychopathy) he was never going to make it here. He goes with our best wishes and on the understanding that if he is to return, he needs to change his style.

 

booker prize is in the post.

 

i still struggle to breathe reading this, achingly funny.

[Jairzinho]

 

 

Big money signing FanchesterCity blew a hole in dave u’s budget luring him from Bluemoon but he links effortlessly up front with veteran xerxes. An unconventional small man-smaller man combo, these two browbeat opposition defences with their mix of haughty condescension and humourless cuntfuckery

 

This remains one of the best things I've read on the forum.

[stringvest]

Aye, it was genius. Come back chauncey. A genuinely funny and witty chap.

[stringvest]

Just reading back through the last few pages of windowlicking handbaggery reminds you how far this place has fallen. Recruit some decent posters Dave, please. They're out there. They can be coaxed back.

[House of Dirk]

"Funnneeeee, Antynwa, Code72 and celeryBADboy (the autist formerly known as simon) are all established first-team gimps; the 'split spine' of the side – the spina bifida."

 

I cannot get past this bit without laughing.

[Dr Nowt]

...chaircrushing human greasegun.

 

Magical.

[Pidge]

I hear Durango's coming off the bench these days, after falling through it of course...

[Hades]

"Knocking on the dungeon door" was an underrated delight.

[setreal]

...chaircrushing human greasegun.

 

Magical.

 

"His critics are less kind"

[the chimp]

He was a great lad was Chauncey. There have been some belting posts on the site but none made me laugh so much as this one; the accompanying images just about killed me I was laughing that much.

[deiseach]

A pox on Imageshack for deleting chauncey's Gimp XI graphic.

[JermainePennant]

These 11s are typical LFC teams, inexperienced players with potential.We need some proven gimps who have done it consistently.

 

Jairzinho, Dr Nowt, Verbal Diarrhea, Russ Atmosphere, Bjorenebe, thompsonsnose, Tony Moanero and Zonkoville77 should be starters.Theres a few others with big potential but these are star gimps.

[Russ Atmosphere]

Honoured.

[Dr Nowt]

I feel like I've just been tickled by a mongoloid.

 

Life-affirming if I'm honest.

[Denny Crane]

JP I know Tony Moanero was in an earlier Gimp X1 but his outrageous demands of half-time snacks like prawn cocktail crisps and a box for his ma left him a free agent.

 

I think one or two others have been in and out. Zonko was scouted but due to his reputation of interrupting team talks with " we are fucking shite"and calling the gaffer" dossier man" he was unable to fit into the group.

 

Rumours the young and inexperienced manager didn't want the rest as they poked fun at his teeth. Moof told them to fuck off and was made captain I think.

[moof]

Frode, you're the ballon d'or of gimps so pipe down.

[Denny Crane]

What happened to Major Tom?

[Em City]

 

Frode, you're the ballon d'or of gimps so pipe down.[/quote I read that as 'Balloon D'Or'.

[setreal]

What happened to Major Tom?

 

Cricket.

[Dr Nowt]

Cricket.

No it didn't.

[setreal]

No it didn't.

 

We gotta agree to disagree I'm afraid.