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Gimp XI


Redder Lurtz
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  • 2 months later...

hiuIJLs.jpg

 

 

Captain silverlining’s legs have long gone but retains his place having graciously agreed a pay-as-you-play one year deal. His new partner at CB is Durango, a gimp for whom the descriptions Lard of the Rings, chaircrushing human greasegun, and PURE CUNT WITH LASHINGS OF FUCK OFF FAT BASTARD are regularly ascribed. His critics are less kind.

A blend of youth and experience in defence is provided by the promotion of SCOUSER17UK and FrenchEyeGlass. The former has endured a shaky introduction to gimp life, having – by his own admission – struggled with the language. FEG has been knocking on the dungeon door for years and this stoic commitment to remaining ‘in the red’ has paid off. Congratulations, son.

Red Nick was a controversial omission last season but earned his starting berth with some stellar performances in the MF. A loose cannon, what he lacks in nuance Nick makes up for in bona fide, 110% certifiable shoulderchewing mental illness. Unplayable on his day but, for the love of God, never approach this gimp in the showers.

Funnneeeee, Antynwa, Code72 and celeryBADboy (the autist formerly known as simon) are all established first-team gimps; the 'split spine' of the side – the spina bifida.

Big money signing FanchesterCity blew a hole in dave u’s budget luring him from Bluemoon but he links effortlessly up front with veteran xerxes. An unconventional small man-smaller man combo, these two browbeat opposition defences with their mix of haughty condescension and humourless cuntfuckery. xerxes favours the long game and will attack balls in the ayre all day, night, week, month and tax year long.

There’s been a lot made of the questionable call to jettison BringBackBiscan, especially at a time when TLW is woefully gimpless. The guy had everything in his locker to be a world-class WUM but for various reasons (turning up drunk; sectarianism; psychopathy) he was never going to make it here. He goes with our best wishes and on the understanding that if he is to return, he needs to change his style.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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  • 2 years later...
On 01/10/2012 at 06:46, chauncey said:

gimpxi2.jpg

 

Captain silverlining’s legs have long gone but retains his place having graciously agreed a pay-as-you-play one year deal. His new partner at CB is Durango, a gimp for whom the descriptions Lard of the Rings, chaircrushing human greasegun, and PURE CUNT WITH LASHINGS OF FUCK OFF FAT BASTARD are regularly ascribed. His critics are less kind.

 

A blend of youth and experience in defence is provided by the promotion of SCOUSER17UK and FrenchEyeGlass. The former has endured a shaky introduction to gimp life, having – by his own admission – struggled with the language. FEG has been knocking on the dungeon door for years and this stoic commitment to remaining ‘in the red’ has paid off. Congratulations, son.

 

Red Nick was a controversial omission last season but earned his starting berth with some stellar performances in the MF. A loose cannon, what he lacks in nuance Nick makes up for in bona fide, 110% certifiable shoulderchewing mental illness. Unplayable on his day but, for the love of God, never approach this gimp in the showers.

 

Funnneeeee, Antynwa, Code72 and celeryBADboy (the autist formerly known as simon) are all established first-team gimps; the 'split spine' of the side – the spina bifida.

 

Big money signing FanchesterCity blew a hole in dave u’s budget luring him from Bluemoon but he links effortlessly up front with veteran xerxes. An unconventional small man-smaller man combo, these two browbeat opposition defences with their mix of haughty condescension and humourless cuntfuckery. xerxes favours the long game and will attack balls in the ayre all day, night, week, month and tax year long.

 

There’s been a lot made of the questionable call to jettison BringBackBiscan, especially at a time when TLW is woefully gimpless. The guy had everything in his locker to be a world-class WUM but for various reasons (turning up drunk; sectarianism; psychopathy) he was never going to make it here. He goes with our best wishes and on the understanding that if he is to return, he needs to change his style.

 

Quite possibly the greatest ever post on here. Shame the image is no longer available.

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"Big money signing FanchesterCity blew a hole in dave u’s budget luring him from Bluemoon but he links effortlessly up front with veteran xerxes. An unconventional small man-smaller man combo, these two browbeat opposition defences with their mix of haughty condescension and humourless cuntfuckery. xerxes favours the long game and will attack balls in the ayre all day, night, week, month and tax year long"

 

Always cracks me up

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6 minutes ago, KMD7 said:

"Big money signing FanchesterCity blew a hole in dave u’s budget luring him from Bluemoon but he links effortlessly up front with veteran xerxes. An unconventional small man-smaller man combo, these two browbeat opposition defences with their mix of haughty condescension and humourless cuntfuckery. xerxes favours the long game and will attack balls in the ayre all day, night, week, month and tax year long"

 

Always cracks me up

It's gold. Absolute gold.

 

Quote

these two browbeat opposition defences with their mix of haughty condescension and humourless cuntfuckery

 

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4 minutes ago, FrenchEyeGlass said:

Always felt hard done by seeing my name in that Gimp XI.

 

I think I could have done a good job up front.

 

FEG, take heart in the fact that you're one of the two surviving members of that XI mate. You may not be the flashiest of the gimps, but you've outlasted the lot of them. You're like our very own Moyesiah.

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15 minutes ago, Herp McDerp said:

It's funny how the quality of gimps on here is inversely related to our ability to win matches. Can't really think of anyone that would break into that gimp's 11 these days, 3 stacks might crack the bench on a good day, but that's pretty much it really.

Blog Blert came close. He made the subs bench on a few ocassions last season but never got on. Usher decided he lacked the necessary gimpiness and granted him a free transfer to GOT.

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  • 4 weeks later...
On 30/06/2013 at 13:02, JermainePennant said:

My football knowledge is excellent as his been proven with many debates on here where I have been proven right in the end.

 

Looking at how a lot of posters get so much shit wrong and the poor apointments after rafa I was seriously thinking id have to get in at lower leagues and work my way up to the lfc job, I thought i must have had some special talent as managers and fans where so wrong about things that I could see clearly.

 

Ive fuckin argued with fans that thought koncechsky was good enough for us and the famous summer were most on here wanted xabi gone and Barry in.

 

Finally we have a top manager who knows what hes doing and that I have faith and belief in, lets hope the same 'knowledgeable' fans on here who forced rafa out don't get to do the same with BR, the choice to get rid of rafa wasn't exactly right was it?

 

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  • 1 year later...
  • 9 months later...

Teams growing old and some contracts must be up soon. Needs a refresh to it doesn't stagnate. Should be getting in on the bosman signings now it's Jan 1st, by all accounts Rawk amd twitter have a fair number of gimps worth targeting 

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