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The Midnight Rambler

Finders Keepers

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What's you greatest ever find? Honest to god, i'm not trying to sound cool..... I was just searching my room for a dust ridden cigarette and found a gram of coke. Must be years old? Honest! Doesn't say much about my misspent youth but my other great find was also drug related. Walking home from town after a few sherbets I always and still pretend to be John Barnes and kick any random object to break up the long walk home. I hit a golden virginia packet with the outside of my (left) peg which then travelled a fair distance and with great accuracy. At closer inspection It was pretty much full with backy and a big lump of dirty rocky (cling film included). I celebrated like I'd just beat 10 men in the Maracanã and rounded the keeper to tap home.

 

Anybody got any more rewarding stories?

 

And anybody got a ciggie?

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Drug related,

 

Went to a very random New Years house party fucking pilled off me tits with me best mate Nick. Long story short, lots of inbred family fighting, which literally had some bird on the floor getting shit kicked out of her by loads of blokes and girls (happens all the time in that family apparently) kipped over on the sofa grabbed me coat to leave in the morning and under neath it was half a carton of ciggies and 5 ouzs of draw (solid). Made for a lovely day mixing round Nicks on a massive come down!

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I found £135 in a purse outside a pub when I was about 11. I knew there was no way my ma was letting me keep it so I went round as many shops as I could find and spent a tenner in each one on f******l stickers. I filled two books that year and had a pile of swaps that nobody could match.

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Found a decent Samsung mobile phone years ago in Seaforth. It had a message from the mother of the girl who had lost it. The girls who had walked past me a few minutes before had been like 14 year old drunken mongs shouting abuse at everyone they walked past so I just kept it. Boss phone.

 

Year before uni I worked as the guy in the student halls who examines the place for damage and then puts a report in to charge them. Some students would just abandon the place knowing they done more damage than their deposit covered. Found 3 dildos, quite a few pairs of birds dirty knickers, a dvd player, loads of spare change (about £50 over a few months)

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40 quid in the back of a taxi in a wallet after a drinking session at uni. Money was neither here nor there, but the wallet was awesome though. Looks at least 40 years old. Probably handed down from father to son. I never had a dad, so its like the paternal gift I never had.

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One of the most memorable days of my otherwise mundane existence. It was December 1996, one of the last days before we broke up from school for Christmas, and it was a Snow Day. Living right by the sea in my youth, these were as common as a Rob Jones goal at the time.

 

Me and two of my mates were mooching around town when we spotted a one of those small bank bags of money on the floor, so we picked it up and headed down the nearest alley to count it. £600. To three 11 year olds this was like a lottery win, we'd split it three ways and buy an N64 each, we decided. However this was sure to arouse suspicion in our parents, and probably the staff of Woolworths, so this plan was abandoned. Then the moralistic wiener in me piped up, and suggested the possibility that it belonged to a little old woman who was heading to the shops to buy Christmas presents for her family. We decided to head to one of my mates' house where the ultimately unsatisfying compromise was reached where we each kept £20 and handed the rest into the police.

 

I spent my share on Now That's What I Call Music 35, which was also unsatisfying, and it turned out that the money was claimed by an uncle of some bellend from our class, who owned a hotel.

 

The moral of the story is this: the only people who drop £600 in the street are people who can afford to, and there's no such thing as karma. Keep it.

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Mrs Juniper has found not one, but two tortoises over the space of a couple years. Still has them to this day.

 

End of Thread.

 

How does one find tortoises? I am intrigued. I know if you are kind to stray dogs or cats they will follow you home, but tortoise? (tortoise or tortoises? whats the plural)

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How does one find tortoises? I am intrigued. I know if you are kind to stray dogs or cats they will follow you home, but tortoise? (tortoise or tortoises? whats the plural)

 

Out walking her Dog. Both of them found in two separate fields close to her parents house.

 

She put ads up on both occasions and no one claimed them so she's kept them at her parents back home and it turns out they are Male and Female and have started to shag in recent times.

 

A touching, loving story about two shell carrying reptiles who have met by chance and fancy some sex with each other.

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Drug related,

 

Went to a very random New Years house party fucking pilled off me tits with me best mate Nick. Long story short, lots of inbred family fighting, which literally had some bird on the floor getting shit kicked out of her by loads of blokes and girls (happens all the time in that family apparently) kipped over on the sofa grabbed me coat to leave in the morning and under neath it was half a carton of ciggies and 5 ouzs of draw (solid). Made for a lovely day mixing round Nicks on a massive come down!

 

This reminded me of another one.

In a taxi with me mate and he found an ounce of draw on the seat and gave it to me as he didnt smoke.

Legend.

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Weird one was finding a bag of 80s looking fragrances under my desk at work. The bag had been there for maybe 4 months before I figured no one wanted it and looked inside.

 

Found a fair bit of money at festivals but nothing exciting springs to mind. If I ever find a wallet or mobile I try my best to give it back as I know what a pain in the cunt it is to lose and it's the right thing to do of course.

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A box had been lying around in work and I decided to open it as we had no record of the person and it had been there three months or so, lucky for me it contained season three of Curb your enthusiasm.

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