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Captain Turdseye

Famous people you've met.

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No one will know who she is (including me when I first saw her) but I reckon I deserve kudos for being chatted up by this Holby City actress:

 

3663_1.jpg

 

Being chatted up is maybe pushing it but she was fascinated by my clown costume I was wearing on the tube and initiated the conversation, I got a kiss on the cheek goodbye and I will always regret not staying on the tube with her and asking her for a drink followed by full clown sex.

 

She's gone, get over it.

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My dad was outside the school where Gerrard ran that manc kid down, one of the other parents saw him and knew he was a paramedic so he got called over to fix the kids broken leg. Not that he did, he was just there to pick up my stepsister.

 

Then a few weeks later my stepmum was in the tescos at the top of their road and smashed him in the balls with her basket.

 

Him being Gerrard, not my dad.

 

I do wonder why he spends so much time around my dads area though.

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My dad was outside the school where Gerrard ran that manc kid down, one of the other parents saw him and knew he was a paramedic so he got called over to fix the kids broken leg. Not that he did, he was just there to pick up my stepsister.

 

Then a few weeks later my stepmum was in the tescos at the top of their road and smashed him in the balls with her basket.

 

Him being Gerrard, not my dad.

 

I do wonder why he spends so much time around my dads area though.

 

your stepmum has given him an infection. It's all her fault.

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Not including F***y related people.

Jim Kerr

Charlie Burchill

Chris Stein

Clem Burke

B Film Superstar Wings Hauser

George Melly

The little one from the Chuckle Brothers

Bez

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Liam, you arent having fucking miles kane! anyone who goes to town has met that tit and he's hardly famous!

 

I'll have him and the other two Rascals then!

 

Ha ha- it's a fair cop! Scraping the bottom of the barrell for numbers on my list there!

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Bruce Springsteen & the whole of the E Street Band

Little Richard

James Brown

Thomas "Hitman" Hearns

Loads of f**ty players

Plenty of WWE wrestlers inc Shawn Michaels, Big Show, Chris Jericho, William (or Lord Steven) Regal, The Great Khali & Kelly Kelly

Kelis

Vampire Weekend

Paolo Nutini

 

My wife met Tim Burton a few years ago, she said he was a nice bloke to talk to but she didn't know who he was. I was gutted when she told me.

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Is that a true story...My finger is on the rep button.

 

I met Johnny Ball. He used to have a kid's science show called "Think it. Do it". He would end the show each week with the catch phrase, "so the next time you are thinking about [science topic], don't just think it - do it!"

I met him on a bridge in Chester. He was looking over the edge, sightseeing. I said "So, thinking of jumping Johnny. Don't just think it - do it!"

 

He wasn't amused but his agent/accomplice was pissing himself.

 

It's true!

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Sure! I always make people I meet aware of TLW and trying to get them bying the fanzine and support the site.

 

Really? How willing did John sound?

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I was at a charidee golfing dinner last night, at York Racecourse with work. Had no idea there's be anyone remotely famous there but I sat next to Stan Boardman, who was a bit pissed but a really nice bloke.

 

I met Gary McA**ister which made my night ("Just wanted to say thanks for 2000-2001" - "No problem pal. Bit of a good run that wasn't it!"), Bruce Foxton, Midge Ure, one of the Kemps from Spandau Ballet and Mike England who used to play for Sp*rs, also a really nice bloke.

 

The most surreal part of the evening was Dennis Taylor appearing with another botle of Malbec for me and Stan Boardman. "There you go laaads, enjoy".

 

Great fun. Feel like fucking shite today mind.

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loads of f**tball players

the cast of brookie back in the early 90's (my uncle was floor manager or some shit, used to buzz off his name when it came up on the credits at the end)

ian brown

pharrell williams

a few st helens rugger lads

sharon davies

louise redknapp

brian london

lawrence dallaglio

johnny nelson

tom meighan

penelope keith

john inverdale

 

off the top of me head

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I am going to Riga at the end of September to watch Dylan Moran and then hang out with him after. As he is one of my favourite comedians i am very excited.

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I met Davina McCall & she flashed me.

Right up her skirt.

 

They were kind of silky & cream coloured.

 

And Josie Lawrence gave me the eye at Kings Cross station in the mid 90's.

I bottled it though.

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Neil Armstrong, astronaut, had balls bigger than King Kong

First big suit on the moon and he's off to play golf - hole in one

 

I only shook his hand and had a quick chat though, rather than measuring his balls or playing golf with him

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Neil Armstrong, astronaut, had balls bigger than King Kong

First big suit on the moon and he's off to play golf - hole in one

 

I only shook his hand and had a quick chat though, rather than measuring his balls or playing golf with him

 

what did you ask him?

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