Bad shithouse aids

[Rick Sanchez C-137]

Unfortunately had the worst dose of the flu, and a bad, bad case of conjunctivitis at the same time. worst 2 weeks of my life.

[md1892]

Right then,here we go:

2 broken ankles & 2 dislocated ankles (separate occasions)

Blood poisoning after getting flu for the first time

My sweet glands get infected causing huge fuck off abcess's

as a consequence of the above had kidney stones twice (i was praying for death after the second bout, never experianced pain like it !)

Kerataconus - my fucking lenses in my eyes are thinning / irregular meaning that they fucking itch all the time and have coronas around white text on dark background (not as bad most cases tho, but the head aches are a bastard, and i can't rub my eyes as this thins the lenses further)

 

Other than that i'm fine ! :)

[Lee909]

Stop moaning, I stupped my toe and got a paper cut the other day.

[Trucker Paddy]

Had swine flu 2 year ago, proper fucked me up, meant wife and baby had to move outta house for over a week, the neighbours would make me dinner leave it at the door step and run!

The worst thing was I was supposed to be going to see the Patriots in the NFL game in wembley, and couldn't go, nightmare

[Lee909]

I had that aswell, off for 2 weeks.

[Remmie]

Seems like I have been pretty lucky. I think the worst I've had was breaking ribs and an arm falling out of a tree. The breaks were one thing, but what actually hurt the most was all the muscles I didn't realise I had in my body aching all the time. You adjust and pain shoots down your body which is even worse, you automatically re-adjust and you guessed it, worse pain yet again. Sleep was very difficult as was going for a shit. Took about 4 weeks to recover and then another 3 before I was running and playing football again. The rest cured my growth pains in my knees though.

[sparta7]

I got chickenpox when I was 29. Never been so ill before or since, covered in spots, weak, just totally disorientated. Couldnt sleep unless I put my neck on the arm of the couch, as I couldnt bear anything coming into contact with my head because of the pain, I ended up sleeping something like 14 hours straight one day. I went back to work after 2 weeks because my boss was crying about having to move his idle fat arse for a change, but I should have taken a month, it was at least another month before I was anywhere near 100%

[silverlining]

Nothing, really.

 

Split my head open twice. That hurts quite a bit. Four stitches in my top lip.....ermmmmm.....cut my knuckle open punching in a window.

 

oh yeah, had conjuctivitus in both eyes a couple of years ago.

That was quite sore.

 

Other than that no broken bones or major surgery, apart from a nose-job but I was unconscious for that and I got lots of ace painkillers because it was done privately.

 

And no it wasn't cosmetic, I had a deviated septum and polyps, not some massive conk.

[Uncle_Meat]

Food poisoning from a hopelessly out of date tin of chicken noodle soup. 2 exits, everything out and then some of the most intense hallucinations *ever*, and I've been through quite a few hallucinogens..

 

Faces coming out of the walls threatening me with things, shadow people in my flat and all this with serious stomach cramps and occasional vomiting. Thankfully the projectile vom had stopped by then, nowt left to come out, so just stringy bits of bile and shite.

 

Seem to recall shouting "What the fuck are you?" at my hifi at the time, the innocent lights and buttons on the front had transformed into a hideous threatening robot head.

 

All good fun.

[silverlining]

Ah, the old stereo looking like a malevolent robot head.

 

We've all been there.

 

I love acid war stories. I still remind my best friend of the time he rang me up to fearfully complain that his speakers were full of "giant, metal, pointy insects". He was listening to "Jesus Loves The Acid" and that is pretty much what it sounds like, to be fair.

 

Of course, he can always retort that I was watching a bee in the garden, and then couldn't remember what they were called and had to ask him.

 

"What's that thing called? It's something like....bumbleflap"

 

He couldn't remember what they were called either, but correctly asserted that it "Definitely isn't bumbleflap, mate".

[Uncle_Meat]

Ah, the old stereo looking like a malevolent robot head.

 

We've all been there.

 

I love acid war stories. I still remind my best friend of the time he rang me up to fearfully complain that his speakers were full of "giant, metal, pointy insects". He was listening to "Jesus Loves The Acid" and that is pretty much what it sounds like, to be fair.

 

Of course, he can always retort that I was watching a bee in the garden, and then couldn't remember what they were called and had to ask him.

 

"What's that thing called? It's something like....bumbleflap"

 

He couldn't remember what they were called either, but correctly asserted that it "Definitely isn't bumbleflap, mate".

 

Ace! Bumbleflap. Don't do drugs, kids....

 

A mate and I in Sefton Park whilst tripping balls, downed mid-day so were all set and ready to flip mid afternoon. We took to playing paper aeroplanes. Not engined ones, paper ones, so we were running around with our arms outstretched making fluttery papery noises. Got some strange looks that day, before we went ley-line hunting, and found a few strangely enough.

 

Followed by going to the bakery for some munchies, and not being able to remember what we wanted. Ended up buying a bright pink icing birthday cake, asking for it by pointing and saying "A cakey-woo please.."

 

I think that was also the time we ended the whole thing by sitting on the bandstand in Sefton Park with a ghetto blaster and giggling at some Mr.Men or Bagpuss episodes we had recorded onto cassette.

[silverlining]

Ace! Bumbleflap. Don't do drugs, kids....

 

A mate and I in Sefton Park whilst tripping balls, downed mid-day so were all set and ready to flip mid afternoon. We took to playing paper aeroplanes. Not engined ones, paper ones, so we were running around with our arms outstretched making fluttery papery noises. Got some strange looks that day, before we went ley-line hunting, and found a few strangely enough.

 

Followed by going to the bakery for some munchies, and not being able to remember what we wanted. Ended up buying a bright pink icing birthday cake, asking for it by pointing and saying "A cakey-woo please.."

 

 

Unpacking shopping that was done while banjaxed on pills is ace fun.

 

"Who bought the pineapples?"

 

"I don't think we needed a plastic dinosaur.....eh?.... so fucking what if it's purple?"

 

Asda Superstore in Clapham Junction. God bless you.

[Fowlers God]

Had some smashing times on pills. Not to mention the night we found our mate Menzies jumping up and down on a tree branch about 12ft in the air. When we asked him what he was doing he said that he was on the bouncy castle and we should all join him. Needless to say rolling around on the floor howling was funnier than helping him down.

 

Obviously when he tripped and fell we laughed even more. I reckon it took us 5 minutes before one of say if he was ok! He woke up the next day with no recolection of what had happened but with a dislocated elbow having a go at us for beating him up.

 

Priceless night,

[Magic Sponge]

Injected myself in my finger whilst in Iraq with an anti nerve agent combi pen, I think it's called atropine. My whole hand then swelled up to the size of John Merricks head.

 

I was the only British Soldier to do this according to the medic.

[Rafiagra]

I been ill all bloody day today. Just about managed half a bowl of soup, which is first thing today. Am currently waiting to piss it out through my arse as has been par for the course today. I'm considering it a success that I managed not to shit myself at some point in work.

[usernameunknown]

Glandular fever.

 

 

Same here, pure fucking evil that, if someone had given me a gun I'd have probably used it on myself, though I doubt I could have mustered the energy to pull the trigger! Cant imagine ever being in that much pain physically again in my lifetime.

[Cardie]

Last night woke up with a dull ache in my stomach overthe next two hours it got worse and worse until I couldn't move and was struggling to catch my breath. Thought I was dying. Gradually it subsided and I made it through the night with only the occasional sharp stabbing pain.

 

Fairly certain it the opening shots in a war with my appendix which I think is going to go kamikaze and explode taking me with it.

[Redder Lurtz]

Forgetting what things are called when on acid is frustrating and hilarious as I recall. Years ago my mate and I were thrown out of a Chinese takeaway in Gillingham because we had no idea why we were there. The woman behind the counter kept asking for our order but we had no idea what she was talking about. We spent a few minutes asking what she wanted until a couple of blokes came out of the kitchen and threw our giggling asses out of there.

[Stouffer]

I'm suffering from bad shithouse aids man-flu; I doubt even hot vimto will be enough to save me.

 

Where is the good lord Keith in my time of need.

 

Adios.