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Cancer


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It's a twat of a disease god knows,  we all probably know someone who has gone through this misery I can only add to the sentiments expressed earlier in the thread and hope they find a cure for this soon 

Thoughts with everyone suffering through this. 

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Guest Pistonbroke

So sorry to hear your tragic news, Nelly. Gutting for all concerned. Take care of yourself and those who need you mate. 

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I fucking hate this thread. I come on it to see if any of us who I love and respect are directly suffering. For years I've squinted before clicking on it. This forum has so many truly brilliant decent people and after our Australian shit-stirring whirlwind went I always pray that one day we won't see another one gone. 

 

I Lived away for so long, I didn't really see her in my 20's. My mum rang me about 7 weeks ago , she went for a routine check and they found a lump in her lung. She rang me and couldn't get her words out and I assumed she was going to say she had coronavirus but she got it out, It was a lump. She went for tests etc. The day she went in for results I couldn't get hold of her so I rang her fella (I hate calling him that because they have been together 26 years) and he was crying. The lump in her lung they didn't know but she has got bowel cancer. Had an operation 3 weeks ago. Colostomy bag fitted etc. 

 

She had it day before we won the league. I took flowers, lucozade, fruit etc to her fella that afternoon because they couldn't have visitors and he was only allowed to see her outside. The doctors said they have never seen anyone recover quicker from that because as soon as she came round she was waling outside for a smoke. My mums always been a smoker (to her detriment) but you can't stop her. 

 

She had a week and a bit in there and was allowed home. Had a bit of a turn, went back in and the twat has spread to her brain. In 4 places. She was been with her fella 26 years since she left my dad (tough times but me and our kid stayed with my dad) and they have booked in a wedding. Only a registry office thing but they gave the bands in (whatever the fuck that means) on Thursday. 

 

My little brother (28) his girlfriend is due to give both in October. Now as strong as I can be. And despite my gobshite ways on here sometimes I'm one resilient cunt, I seem to be the only one who has accepted reality. Great I'm sure she will make the wedding. I just want her to get to see the baby. Anything after that is a bonus. My mum hates any sport except Wimbledon. I hate that she couldn't see it this year but one of her favourite ever moments in her life was watching the love of her life Goran Ivanisevic win it. 

 

Its easy to say "oh god they don't deserve it why does this happen to good people" etc My mum broke my heart. She left me and my brother in 96. She then did a few things that broke our hearts more to the point where I didn't care that she didn't turn up to my passing out parade when I was 17 in the navy. 

 

As years have passed , She has tried. And tried, and tried. A few years ago I was at my lowest and it took my mum out of everyone in my life to snap and say "I'm sick of giving you sympathy fucking grow up". If she hadn't said those words I reckon I would be dead myself. All that feeling sorry for yourself bollocks. 

 

Well anyway, my mum hasn't got long to live no-matter how any of my family etc keeps saying 'she will recover". Its fucking shit. I'm in the shower or lay in bed trying to get to sleep wondering what the fuck I'm meant to say at the funeral. Its only me and our Liam and he is hopeless at being charismatic and I am just empty. Do I wing it? Or try and write something down. 

 

I never thought this disease would harm my life. It took my Grandad 3 years ago. Now its taking my mum. She isn't dead yet I know. Sorry I've carried on typing here like a twat. 

 

Anyone of you who have had this bastard in your life, I'm fully behind us twatting it everywhere. xxxx 

 

 

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9 minutes ago, Lee909 said:

Sorry to hear that. 

It really is a cunt of a disease for everyone caught up with it. Never even know what to say. I'm sorry for your loss, all the best etc just seems not enough 

She isn't dead yet. You can give me the blow-job after the funeral x 

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Fair play Stig, sad news. Don’t get on with my ma, haven’t spoke to her for a good few years.

but lost my grandad who brought us up, to bowel cancer. 
I was just made up that I’d got to watch a labour government get elected with him a few years before. Plus when he was really sick, I caught him when he stumbled returning to bed from the bathroom. Mad the shit that sticks in yer head.

hope you all get the best out of how ever long yers have together.

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I mentioned on here about a my mates mum. She died three weeks ago of cervical cancer, she was 57. The girl who's mum it is lost her grandma on her dads side about a month before that and she's also had to postpone her wedding until next year due to covid.

 

On a mildly amusing note I sent her a sympathy card. Two days later she messaged me asking if it was me as I just signed it kev. I said yes she said she wasn't sure it was me as her fiancé has a special needs cousin called kev who also has child's handwriting 

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17 hours ago, Bjornebye said:

I fucking hate this thread. I come on it to see if any of us who I love and respect are directly suffering. For years I've squinted before clicking on it. This forum has so many truly brilliant decent people and after our Australian shit-stirring whirlwind went I always pray that one day we won't see another one gone. 

 

I Lived away for so long, I didn't really see her in my 20's. My mum rang me about 7 weeks ago , she went for a routine check and they found a lump in her lung. She rang me and couldn't get her words out and I assumed she was going to say she had coronavirus but she got it out, It was a lump. She went for tests etc. The day she went in for results I couldn't get hold of her so I rang her fella (I hate calling him that because they have been together 26 years) and he was crying. The lump in her lung they didn't know but she has got bowel cancer. Had an operation 3 weeks ago. Colostomy bag fitted etc. 

 

She had it day before we won the league. I took flowers, lucozade, fruit etc to her fella that afternoon because they couldn't have visitors and he was only allowed to see her outside. The doctors said they have never seen anyone recover quicker from that because as soon as she came round she was waling outside for a smoke. My mums always been a smoker (to her detriment) but you can't stop her. 

 

She had a week and a bit in there and was allowed home. Had a bit of a turn, went back in and the twat has spread to her brain. In 4 places. She was been with her fella 26 years since she left my dad (tough times but me and our kid stayed with my dad) and they have booked in a wedding. Only a registry office thing but they gave the bands in (whatever the fuck that means) on Thursday. 

 

My little brother (28) his girlfriend is due to give both in October. Now as strong as I can be. And despite my gobshite ways on here sometimes I'm one resilient cunt, I seem to be the only one who has accepted reality. Great I'm sure she will make the wedding. I just want her to get to see the baby. Anything after that is a bonus. My mum hates any sport except Wimbledon. I hate that she couldn't see it this year but one of her favourite ever moments in her life was watching the love of her life Goran Ivanisevic win it. 

 

Its easy to say "oh god they don't deserve it why does this happen to good people" etc My mum broke my heart. She left me and my brother in 96. She then did a few things that broke our hearts more to the point where I didn't care that she didn't turn up to my passing out parade when I was 17 in the navy. 

 

As years have passed , She has tried. And tried, and tried. A few years ago I was at my lowest and it took my mum out of everyone in my life to snap and say "I'm sick of giving you sympathy fucking grow up". If she hadn't said those words I reckon I would be dead myself. All that feeling sorry for yourself bollocks. 

 

Well anyway, my mum hasn't got long to live no-matter how any of my family etc keeps saying 'she will recover". Its fucking shit. I'm in the shower or lay in bed trying to get to sleep wondering what the fuck I'm meant to say at the funeral. Its only me and our Liam and he is hopeless at being charismatic and I am just empty. Do I wing it? Or try and write something down. 

 

I never thought this disease would harm my life. It took my Grandad 3 years ago. Now its taking my mum. She isn't dead yet I know. Sorry I've carried on typing here like a twat. 

 

Anyone of you who have had this bastard in your life, I'm fully behind us twatting it everywhere. xxxx 

 

 

Hard to read that mate. Hope she gets to see the little one arrive. Thinking of you.

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18 hours ago, Bjornebye said:

I fucking hate this thread. I come on it to see if any of us who I love and respect are directly suffering. For years I've squinted before clicking on it. This forum has so many truly brilliant decent people and after our Australian shit-stirring whirlwind went I always pray that one day we won't see another one gone. 

 

I Lived away for so long, I didn't really see her in my 20's. My mum rang me about 7 weeks ago , she went for a routine check and they found a lump in her lung. She rang me and couldn't get her words out and I assumed she was going to say she had coronavirus but she got it out, It was a lump. She went for tests etc. The day she went in for results I couldn't get hold of her so I rang her fella (I hate calling him that because they have been together 26 years) and he was crying. The lump in her lung they didn't know but she has got bowel cancer. Had an operation 3 weeks ago. Colostomy bag fitted etc. 

 

She had it day before we won the league. I took flowers, lucozade, fruit etc to her fella that afternoon because they couldn't have visitors and he was only allowed to see her outside. The doctors said they have never seen anyone recover quicker from that because as soon as she came round she was waling outside for a smoke. My mums always been a smoker (to her detriment) but you can't stop her. 

 

She had a week and a bit in there and was allowed home. Had a bit of a turn, went back in and the twat has spread to her brain. In 4 places. She was been with her fella 26 years since she left my dad (tough times but me and our kid stayed with my dad) and they have booked in a wedding. Only a registry office thing but they gave the bands in (whatever the fuck that means) on Thursday. 

 

My little brother (28) his girlfriend is due to give both in October. Now as strong as I can be. And despite my gobshite ways on here sometimes I'm one resilient cunt, I seem to be the only one who has accepted reality. Great I'm sure she will make the wedding. I just want her to get to see the baby. Anything after that is a bonus. My mum hates any sport except Wimbledon. I hate that she couldn't see it this year but one of her favourite ever moments in her life was watching the love of her life Goran Ivanisevic win it. 

 

Its easy to say "oh god they don't deserve it why does this happen to good people" etc My mum broke my heart. She left me and my brother in 96. She then did a few things that broke our hearts more to the point where I didn't care that she didn't turn up to my passing out parade when I was 17 in the navy. 

 

As years have passed , She has tried. And tried, and tried. A few years ago I was at my lowest and it took my mum out of everyone in my life to snap and say "I'm sick of giving you sympathy fucking grow up". If she hadn't said those words I reckon I would be dead myself. All that feeling sorry for yourself bollocks. 

 

Well anyway, my mum hasn't got long to live no-matter how any of my family etc keeps saying 'she will recover". Its fucking shit. I'm in the shower or lay in bed trying to get to sleep wondering what the fuck I'm meant to say at the funeral. Its only me and our Liam and he is hopeless at being charismatic and I am just empty. Do I wing it? Or try and write something down. 

 

I never thought this disease would harm my life. It took my Grandad 3 years ago. Now its taking my mum. She isn't dead yet I know. Sorry I've carried on typing here like a twat. 

 

Anyone of you who have had this bastard in your life, I'm fully behind us twatting it everywhere. xxxx 

 

 


Any time mate, you have my number. X

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21 hours ago, Bjornebye said:

Humour helps right ? 

I came close to getting the highest number of rep points today apparently and then I had to rep your post as I do genuinely feel for you. But fuck, I came third.

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On 11/07/2020 at 20:23, Nelly-Torres said:

Absolutely brutal, indiscriminate bastard of a disease. 

 

I lost an in-law earlier today due to leukaemia/complications. They were only diagnosed 3 or 4 weeks ago and the doctors were aiming for and confident of full remission. Then, today, they deteriorated suddenly, suffering two bleeds on the brain and passed shortly after. Leaving behind three kids all under the age of 10.

 

I'm numb. Struggling to process it. Haven't cried yet. It doesn't seem real. I could rationalise it if they couldn't treat it and gave her a couple of years or whatever, but the quickness of it all has left me stunned. 

Just awful, NT. It’s just beyond words. Sending love to you all

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On 13/07/2020 at 01:49, Bjornebye said:

I fucking hate this thread. I come on it to see if any of us who I love and respect are directly suffering. For years I've squinted before clicking on it. This forum has so many truly brilliant decent people and after our Australian shit-stirring whirlwind went I always pray that one day we won't see another one gone. 

 

I Lived away for so long, I didn't really see her in my 20's. My mum rang me about 7 weeks ago , she went for a routine check and they found a lump in her lung. She rang me and couldn't get her words out and I assumed she was going to say she had coronavirus but she got it out, It was a lump. She went for tests etc. The day she went in for results I couldn't get hold of her so I rang her fella (I hate calling him that because they have been together 26 years) and he was crying. The lump in her lung they didn't know but she has got bowel cancer. Had an operation 3 weeks ago. Colostomy bag fitted etc. 

 

She had it day before we won the league. I took flowers, lucozade, fruit etc to her fella that afternoon because they couldn't have visitors and he was only allowed to see her outside. The doctors said they have never seen anyone recover quicker from that because as soon as she came round she was waling outside for a smoke. My mums always been a smoker (to her detriment) but you can't stop her. 

 

She had a week and a bit in there and was allowed home. Had a bit of a turn, went back in and the twat has spread to her brain. In 4 places. She was been with her fella 26 years since she left my dad (tough times but me and our kid stayed with my dad) and they have booked in a wedding. Only a registry office thing but they gave the bands in (whatever the fuck that means) on Thursday. 

 

My little brother (28) his girlfriend is due to give both in October. Now as strong as I can be. And despite my gobshite ways on here sometimes I'm one resilient cunt, I seem to be the only one who has accepted reality. Great I'm sure she will make the wedding. I just want her to get to see the baby. Anything after that is a bonus. My mum hates any sport except Wimbledon. I hate that she couldn't see it this year but one of her favourite ever moments in her life was watching the love of her life Goran Ivanisevic win it. 

 

Its easy to say "oh god they don't deserve it why does this happen to good people" etc My mum broke my heart. She left me and my brother in 96. She then did a few things that broke our hearts more to the point where I didn't care that she didn't turn up to my passing out parade when I was 17 in the navy. 

 

As years have passed , She has tried. And tried, and tried. A few years ago I was at my lowest and it took my mum out of everyone in my life to snap and say "I'm sick of giving you sympathy fucking grow up". If she hadn't said those words I reckon I would be dead myself. All that feeling sorry for yourself bollocks. 

 

Well anyway, my mum hasn't got long to live no-matter how any of my family etc keeps saying 'she will recover". Its fucking shit. I'm in the shower or lay in bed trying to get to sleep wondering what the fuck I'm meant to say at the funeral. Its only me and our Liam and he is hopeless at being charismatic and I am just empty. Do I wing it? Or try and write something down. 

 

I never thought this disease would harm my life. It took my Grandad 3 years ago. Now its taking my mum. She isn't dead yet I know. Sorry I've carried on typing here like a twat. 

 

Anyone of you who have had this bastard in your life, I'm fully behind us twatting it everywhere. xxxx 

 

 

Oh, Damien, I’m so sorry to read this.

And whatever has gone before she’s still your mum and always will be. 
Hoping you get good help and that you can all make the best of what’s to come.

 

Leave nothing unsaid xx

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  • 2 weeks later...

Funeral was yesterday. I've been backwards and forwards between my brother's and mine over the past 2 weeks. Haven't had a clue what day it was most of the time. Been living out of a rucksack and on his couch for most of the last couple of weeks. It's been hard, but I had to be there for him. 

 

I can probably find a better word for it, but the funeral etc was nice. Struck the right balance between mourning a loss and a light hearted, humouros remembrance of the one we'd lost. And, it seemed to offer a lot of the family a bit of relief and closure. 

 

I'm still struggling to process what's happened and have had a few moments when you expect her to pull up in the car or pop her head around the door etc, until the reality kicks in. 

 

Back home tonight. In my own bed. Exhausted. Mainly mentally. A good sleep and a quiet day of reflection tomorrow will help. 

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