Jump to content
Stu Monty

The Secret Footballer

Recommended Posts

Doesn't he understand there's a difference between a fan spending £50 or so and swearing in to the air and a footballer receiving £150,000 a week who runs up to a tv camera and screams a load of shite down it just after scoring a hat trick? Too drunk to make my point properly but there you go.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Its defo Murphy. Hes desperate to be the next big media guru after that stupid fuckin talk he give. Pluss just before he left liverpool rafa said he wanted to break the cliques up so that also rings true.

 

He starts one column by saying "What if Sky Sports offered me Andy Gray's job? Not a chance." I'd say that rules out Murphy as he's never off the TV.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

A couple of other points I noticed reading through the articles:

 

when I think back to when I was kicking a flat ball around a council estate with holes in my Nike hand-me-downs

 

which would rule out anyone from a relatively well-off background.

 

When I hang up my boots, I will have opportunity to move on to things I have always wanted to do before I undergo the hip and knee replacements my doctor promised a few years ago.

 

So it's probably someone who has had hip and knee injuries.

 

I am not gay.

 

Definitely not Ashley Cole then.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

David James has written for the Guardian in the past; Murphy - for those "articulate" and "eloquent" epithets - probably thinks a pen is something you take to prolong your Liverpool career.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Anyone ever thought it Might just be one of ours here? Or more specifically I was thinking possibly - Jamie Carragher? Don't know why but he SEEMS to fit most of the criteria to me - Could it be Him or Steven Gerrard maybe? Not only do THEY fit most of the criteria (English, 'Thinkers' About the game, played amidst French & other 'Cliques, Played at OT plenty of times etc) but also? The list of coaches 'he' (whoever he is) has played for? Reads like a Who's Who of about the last Five Liverpool Managers. You NEVER know - It just Might be one of our players this time. Stranger things have happened - Either way? I Suspect all will be revealed soon enough.................

Edited by Redshadow

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

He was talking about moving clubs, so it's not Carragher. He was also quoting Kipling and explaining how much he loves him the other day. Given that it wasn't in reference to cakes I reckon we can rule out Danny Murphy?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I've looked elsewhere on this and seen all KINDS of names come up but the most frequent guesses are indeed Danny Murphy or Scott Parker (which would chime as Mourinho always WAS obsessed with detail). As outside bets maybe Michael Owen, Mark Noble or Jens Lehmann? Possibly Frank Lampard - Those Six are the best guesses - Still think it could be Gerrard as a possibility - He did come THAT close to leaving us Twice so would know about moves even if he never made one himself. Suspect we'll know soon enough...................

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
No evidence to support my theory, but maybe Jermaine Jenas?

 

 

Has a weekly coloumn with the London Evening Standard, so I guess he is into doing something like that, but not sure he would be doing 2 a week and for differenet papers

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Gerrard loving poetry by Kipling?

 

Not a chance.

 

I'm struggling to think of a single English footballer in the Premier League who may not think Kipling is a bizarre sexual practice.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Didn't Fat Dunk used to have an 'insider' column that pretended to be from a current player, who used to 'log in from the England camp' to give updates. He frequently hinted this was Danny Murphy too, so let's hope this column is somewhat more authentic and not dreamed up by an intern!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
I heard it was Kevin Davies, but I presume like everyone else that has been mentioned, it's 99% guesswork and 1% informed opinion.

 

 

Didn't Kevin Davies have to ask his Twitter followers how to make a pop tart...?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Am I the only person who doesn't fucking care?

 

No, he sounds like a total self righteous cock too.

 

I've stopped reading it. It sounds too forced, too polished and a load of bollocks to me.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

×