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*Shakes head* Everton again.


Fugitive

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1 hour ago, Red74 said:

Has anyone even got any serious dough to spend this summer?


We should have plenty when you take into account we spent approx £55m less than what we’d bid for players last summer. 
 

That’s before you taking into account wages saved for Thiago, Matip and Adrian which is over £20m a year. 

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1 hour ago, lifetime fan said:


We should have plenty when you take into account we spent approx £55m less than what we’d bid for players last summer. 
 

That’s before you taking into account wages saved for Thiago, Matip and Adrian which is over £20m a year. 

 

Matip and Adrian only earn 50p a year? 

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9 hours ago, Manny said:

Beautiful. Not far off the "slap the money on the table" effort from SteveO, but a lovely effort that will nicely bookend the Mosh era with that post.

 

For what it's worth:

  • Calvert-Lewin is a decent striker who's comfortable leading the line on his own, but he's not a reliable goalscorer, should be coming into his prime but is never fit for more than 40% of the season. They'll get buyers, but anyone interested won't be paying much up front as Everton would want - they'd incentivise to fuck.
  • Doucoure is a handful and scores a few goals from midfield, but he'll be 32 next season and isn't good enough on the ball to play at a top side. They'll not be short of buyers, but it'll be promoted teams and the like, and they won't offer much. Certainly not £10m or more.
  • Keane and "Tarks" are no-nonsense defenders who look OK if they're just asked to head the ball away at the near post and sit on the edge of their area out of possession, but that's it. See Doucoure above.
  • Godfrey has been ruined by them and they hate him. They'd be lucky to get half that.
  • Onana seems to have interest but there's no way anyone is paying that much for him in a distressed market. Also they signed him for big money not long ago, so a wedge of anything they get for him will go to balancing the books for that transfer.
  • "Branners" is easily their most sellable asset - young, English etc., and a youth product so no book value, pure profit. But are they seriously suggesting that he's worth 66% more than the current world record transfer for a defender (Gvardiol to Manchester City for £75m)? They'll get a good price but it'll be caveated and incentivised.
  • Beto is fucking shite. Who the fuck is paying £20m for a 3 in 29 striker, for fucks sake!?
  • Pickford isn't half as good as they think he is, most of the top clubs are pretty sorted for a goalkeeper and they're the only ones who'd be paying anything like that kind of wedge for a goalkeeper. Their best hope is Chelsea, I reckon, and to be honest they might be stupid enough to pay £30m for him, even in a distressed market.

I fear for them, I really do.

The problem is that Everton can’t do incentivised to fuck. In fact, they can’t do incentivised at all. 
They need cash, now. Their cashflow is so desperate that they can’t wait, even if it’s to their detriment. 

£20m now is more appealing than £10m upfront plus £15m in probable add-ons and another £5m which may or may not happen.
Maybe they’ll manage to avoid an all-out firesale, but they won’t be able to spend much (if anything) of what they raise. And the need for cash upfront could cost them a fortune in the future. They’ll be paying for the Morishi years for decades to come. 

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20 minutes ago, Ron B said:

The problem is that Everton can’t do incentivised to fuck. In fact, they can’t do incentivised at all. 
They need cash, now. Their cashflow is so desperate that they can’t wait, even if it’s to their detriment. 

£20m now is more appealing than £10m upfront plus £15m in probable add-ons and another £5m which may or may not happen.
Maybe they’ll manage to avoid an all-out firesale, but they won’t be able to spend much (if anything) of what they raise. And the need for cash upfront could cost them a fortune in the future. They’ll be paying for the Morishi years for decades to come. 

Hey, but it was great in the beginning, wasn't it? Winning transfer windows, slapping money on tables, shopping in Catalan whilst the redshite shop in Matalan etc.

 

No amount of points deductions, relegation battles and dodging administration can overshadow what came before.

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8 minutes ago, manwiththestick said:

Hey, but it was great in the beginning, wasn't it? Winning transfer windows, slapping money on tables, shopping in Catalan whilst the redshite shop in Matalan etc.

 

No amount of points deductions, relegation battles and dodging administration can overshadow what came before.

 

That number one single they had for 5 minutes in a midweek download chart is worth at least ten Champion's Leagues.

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15 minutes ago, manwiththestick said:

Hey, but it was great in the beginning, wasn't it? Winning transfer windows, slapping money on tables, shopping in Catalan whilst the redshite shop in Matalan etc.

 

No amount of points deductions, relegation battles and dodging administration can overshadow what came before.

In 2017 they finished 7th.  Heady days, indeed.

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16 hours ago, Barrington Womble said:

the bottom line for that though has been the con trick they tried to pull for whatever reason i can never understand is that it was uzmanovs money. had he had his name over the door, the government would have treated them to the same white gloves treatment they gave to chelsea. 

Didn’t Usmanov still own part of Arsenal when Mosh bought Everton?

Didn’t the beeb (panorama) do an investigation on it, as Mosh’s Arsenal shares which he sold to buy Everton, were a gift from Usmanov?

The blues got all arsey about it, whilst at the same time bragging about how rich Uncle Uzzie was.

 

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13 hours ago, Mudface said:

 

That number one single they had for 5 minutes in a midweek download chart is worth at least ten Champion's Leagues.

It's the taking part that counts, and we didn't even as much as release a B-side.

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3 hours ago, Jose Jones said:

Didn’t Usmanov still own part of Arsenal when Mosh bought Everton?

Didn’t the beeb (panorama) do an investigation on it, as Mosh’s Arsenal shares which he sold to buy Everton, were a gift from Usmanov?

The blues got all arsey about it, whilst at the same time bragging about how rich Uncle Uzzie was.

 

You might be right. I had it in my head usmanov was already out, but maybe he wasn't. 

 

In fact I just checked. 

Moshiri bought the shite in Feb 2016

Uzmanov cashed out at arsenal Aug 2018

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On 11/05/2024 at 10:01, aws said:

That team finishes sixth. 

 

Aws is the new Ev accountant; prepping for their latest point deduction. 

 

But; ifithadntbeenforBigNevretiringwewouldhavefinished6th. 

 

On 12/05/2024 at 18:53, Captain Turdseye said:


Over on GOT they’re already talking like they’ll be restricted to loans and out of contract players, with the odd link to older players in the £3m-£5m range. 
 

Meanwhile…

 

 

IMG_3933.jpeg

 

Their whole fan base is beyond a Parody. Problem is they are using what THEY would pay for those players which isnt anywhere close to Market Valuation. 

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It's a weird one as all of the top three have rotated through injury a fair bit and Martinez is a cunt. Who's he going to pick, Onana? I'd have picked the spurs lad, even if he dipped in the second half. Lloris was big shoes to fill.

 

I'm lying, I'd have picked kelleher.

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11 minutes ago, AngryOfTuebrook said:

I've still got to pay off a bet I lost with someone on here about these bums going down.  I can't even recall who it was, but I know the bet was for £10 to an animal charity.

 

Unless anyone objects, I'll pay it to the otters.

https://ukwildottertrust.org/

 

Otters are more deserving. 

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13 minutes ago, AngryOfTuebrook said:

I've still got to pay off a bet I lost with someone on here about these bums going down.  I can't even recall who it was, but I know the bet was for £10 to an animal charity.

 

Unless anyone objects, I'll pay it to the otters.

https://ukwildottertrust.org/

 

 

I think it was @Captain Howdy around the time they got the first -10 points deduction? 

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4 hours ago, Pidge said:

It's a weird one as all of the top three have rotated through injury a fair bit and Martinez is a cunt. Who's he going to pick, Onana? I'd have picked the spurs lad, even if he dipped in the second half. Lloris was big shoes to fill.

 

I'm lying, I'd have picked kelleher.

Another weird stat from MNF last night. Pickford is 2nd in the golden gloves table of clean sheets. Which honestly is quite something for a team as shit as them. Obviously there's more to clean sheets than his little arms, but it's impressive regardless. 

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1 hour ago, Barrington Womble said:

Another weird stat from MNF last night. Pickford is 2nd in the golden gloves table of clean sheets. Which honestly is quite something for a team as shit as them. Obviously there's more to clean sheets than his little arms, but it's impressive regardless. 

 

Indicative of the way they play- ultra-defensive, one up top, long ball counter attacks and try and nick goals at set pieces. They're the second lowest scorers this season- only Sheff Utd have fewer goals- and have the lowest combined for and against by some distance, just 88 in total. For comparison, we have 125 (F84 A41), and even Moyes's West Ham have 130. More dull, joyless seasons beckon, with very little to celebrate or get excited about, no wonder they're mental.

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2 hours ago, AngryOfTuebrook said:

I've still got to pay off a bet I lost with someone on here about these bums going down.  I can't even recall who it was, but I know the bet was for £10 to an animal charity.

 

Unless anyone objects, I'll pay it to the otters.

https://ukwildottertrust.org/

 

Can you not bother with that next season and they might actually go down.

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