*Shakes head* Everton again.

[Fugitive]

From SteveO in July...

 

I had a look on RAWK to see what their thoughts are for the next season.

 

Universally they think they are guaranteed a top 4 spot, like it's not really a possibility this won't happen. Most are predicting top 2 and good portion thinking they have a chance of the league and going far in the CL.

 

Can the lurkers tell me why?

 

Last year, they had no European football and went out early in both domestic cups. IF Robles hadn't watched that shot in the Goodision derby OR it hadn't bounced perfectly for Mane then they wouldn't even have finished 4th.

 

So far they've signed a relegated fullback a Chelsea reject and some unimpressive kid. They're still clinging to the delusion they'll sign Keita and VVD but quite frankly even if they do get both (they wont) it's still not enough to prompt the level of delusion we're seeing.

 

They've still got Sturridge, Sakho, Moreno, Markovic clogging up space and hemorrhaging money every week. They've got rid of Lucas who was briefly world class when he was injured. He was never very good but he still played over half their games last season.

 

Every team in the top 7 has bought better than them. If Mane doesn't recover properly from his injury and Coutinho continues to pick up those niggles then they could really struggle this season.

 

I know delusion is pretty much their speciality but I'm just not getting it.

 

Lurkers, help me out.

[Curly]

Remember that one where the lad said how much all their new signings were worth now the market had exploded? He had Pickford down as £90m. Haha. That genuinely makes me smile whenever I think about it.

 

I've said it before, but they are like 7 year olds. I remember getting excited and making plans to go on a bike ride when I was around that age with my mate, knowing full well it wasn't going to happen, but getting overly excited at the prospect all the same. I also liken it to when I was about 9 or 10 and used to regularly profess to being "about 5th or 6th hardest lad in the year". I wasn't, but I had loads of mad rationale as to why I was when explaining it, but no actual proof, apart from losing almost every scuffle I got into.

 

Perhaps I should have been a blue. My dad is a blue. Maybe you are actually born blue. Is it in my DNA? Am I a manufactured red? I need to get away and reflect. Things may never be the same again.

[ZonkoVille77]

I think SteveO is an inverse Clairvoyant. He has basically predicted all that has happened so far. Ace.

[Josef Svejk]

I also liken it to when I was about 9 or 10 and used to regularly profess to being "about 5th or 6th hardest lad in the year". I wasn't, but I had loads of mad rationale as to why I was when explaining it, but no actual proof, apart from losing almost every scuffle I got into.

That about captures the Evertonian mentality.

[Captain Turdseye]

They don't want Wenger. He's not good enough for them.

[Boss]

I think SteveO is an inverse Clairvoyant. He has basically predicted all that has happened so far. Ace.

 

Salah is basically an Egyptian Aiden McGeady - SteveO

[Boss]

Gueye - £75m
Keane - £60m
Williams - £10m
Rooney - £20m
Klaassen - £35m
Sandro - £18m
Martina - £6m
Schneiderlin - £45m
Lookman - £25m
Pickford - £90m

 

Basically him and Walsh know what they're doing. The Kones and niasses are consigned to history. What a time to be alive. What a time to be a blue.

 

 

 

[The Golden Eel]

Does anyone have the one where he's analysed a load of Salah's goals for Roma?

[deiseach]

[magicrat]

They don't want Wenger. He's not good enough for them.

 

Greggs in County Rd would go bust if they replaced Jabba

[liverpoolsno9]

Does anyone have the one where he's analysed a load of Salah's goals for Roma?

Just having a look at Mo's goals from last season. First goal is case in point. He gets a pitch perfect ball but somehow manages to head directly at the goalie but then the ball bounces right to his feet. He can't miss.

 

If he wasn't so lucky his goals per minute drops from one ever 165 mins to one every 177mins. A massive leap. There's another goalagainst Bologna (most of his goals are at home to weak teams btw) which was basically an og.

 

Take that away and his goals per min becomes 1 every 191 mins. He's now averaging less than one every two games in a very, very weak serie a.

His hat-trick goal was literally an open goal after the goalie helpfully palmed it to his feet. Not even going to take that one away from him but it just illustrates why figures should be taken with a pinch of salt.

 

He fouls a Sassaulo (remember what I said about the poorer teams) before finishing on the goal line. That gets correctly disallowed and his record is now 1 in 207 minutes.

Scores an offside goal against Pescara. REcord is now 1 in every 226 minutes.

 

He gets twoagainst Chievo where you have to ask questions about match fixing. The goalie literally just watches both of the shots. Not even joking, they are definitely suspect.

 

Take those two off and he now has a record of 1 in every 276 minutes.

 

Gerry playing in a weaker side, not had a few season to get to know his teammates got one goal every 365 minutes. Pretty similar to me.

 

Factor in the fact it's a weaker side and you could legitimately argue Gerry actually had the better stats. Just saying.

 

Didn't even mention the fact that both Lazio goals were due to fortunate deflections.

 

Kopites have built him to be some sort of saviour but Chelsea got rid for a reason quite frankly.

 

 

 

Here’s his assessment on Mo’s 1st 15 goals. He must spend loads of time dissecting our games

 

1. Watford - Tap in he nearly missed.

2. Hoffenheim - Empty net

3. Arsenal - Pace goal and weird stuff from Cech, going back, coming forward, not setting himself before shot, awful angles.

4. Seville - Shouldn't even count.

5. Burnley - Reasonable goal. Keeper will be disappointed though. Near post.

6. Leicester - Was trying to nod it back across goal. Sheer fluke.

7. Daily Mirror - Shouldn't count.

8. Daily Mirror - Shouldn't count.

9. Spurs - Mishit pace goal. Lucky.

10. Daily Mirror - Shouldn't count.

11. West Ham - Pace goal with only Hart to beat

12. West Ham - SPACE goal. Afforded a ludicrous amount of space due to school boy defending from West Ham.

13. Southampton - A tidy finish but again in silly amount of space due to that clown they nearly signed in the summer going on some demented walkabout. Forrster will be disappointed to let it in as well. It was hardly in the postage stamp.

14. Southampton - Couldn't really miss.

15. Chelsea - Took it quite well but incredibly lucky deflection.

 

 

I've seen salah twice this season and he's been massively disappointing both times unfortunately. Against city he showed pace but also that he's not cut out or this league, no intelligence, can't pass, can't cross, one footed. Same last night.

Sandro will be the better

 

 

Salah has been awful hasn't he? I called it when they bought him and I'm being proven 100% correct. Scored a couple but his crossing, passing, positional awareness, footballing brain etc have to be one of the worst in the league.

It's a shame because he was bought for tens of millions of pounds by a club that's hundreds of millions of pounds in debt. The repercussions of such awful transfers can be catastrophic (Leeds, Portsmouth etc).

This transfer was compounded by signing an even worse player (in the last year of his contract) for the same money.

Tick tock.

 

 

Sandro has the ability to control any ball. You've never seen him play have you? He's like salah but quicker, better touch, better finisher, stronger and £35m cheaper.

Best signing by any club this summer

[ZonkoVille77]

Salah is basically an Egyptian Aiden McGeady - SteveO

 

Christ.

[Nelly-Szoboszlai]

My local shopkeeper asked me this morning what it was that was amusing me as I'd walked into his shop doing a little giggle.

 

I just said "nothing" as I couldn't be arsed explaining to him that right before entering his shop, I'd just been having a conversation with localbloo and had been discussing Everton's relegation battle.

 

I told localbloo that I reckon they'd stay up and that they'd probably even be alright with less than 40 points.

 

A nice civil conversation with nothing to giggle about? True. But, as I entered the shop and the door slowly shut behind me, I heard the previously civil localbloo angrily muttering "Like you give a fucking shit what happens to us!" to himself under his breath as he went on his merry way.

 

Chortle!

[Anubis]

SteveO is a comedy genius.

[magicrat]

My local shopkeeper asked me this morning what it was that was amusing me as I'd walked into his shop doing a little giggle.

 

I just said "nothing" as I couldn't be arsed explaining to him that right before entering his shop, I'd just been having a conversation with localbloo and had been discussing Everton's relegation battle.

 

I told localbloo that I reckon they'd stay up and that they'd probably even be alright with less than 40 points.

 

A nice civil conversation with nothing to giggle about? True. But, as I entered the shop and the door slowly shut behind me, I heard the previously civil localbloo angrily muttering "Like you give a fucking shit what happens to us!" to himself under his breath as he went on his merry way.

 

Chortle!

 

He was probably just being honest

[Anubis]

This is my favourite bit. Still giggling.

 

 

Sandro has the ability to control any ball. You've never seen him play have you? He's like salah but quicker, better touch, better finisher, stronger and £35m cheaper.

Best signing by any club this summer

[VERBAL DIARRHEA]

Steve O spends far too much time following and worrying about us. Almost as if he is bitter and obsessed?

[Einch]

Shit. Sorry. Meant to rep

[Wezza]

Steve O spends far too much time following and worrying about us. Almost as if he is bitter and obsessed?

Had to find something to fill his time post Jackass

[Trumo]

Just having a look at Mo's goals from last season. First goal is case in point. He gets a pitch perfect ball but somehow manages to head directly at the goalie but then the ball bounces right to his feet. He can't miss.

 

If he wasn't so lucky his goals per minute drops from one ever 165 mins to one every 177mins. A massive leap. There's another goalagainst Bologna (most of his goals are at home to weak teams btw) which was basically an og.

 

Take that away and his goals per min becomes 1 every 191 mins. He's now averaging less than one every two games in a very, very weak serie a.

His hat-trick goal was literally an open goal after the goalie helpfully palmed it to his feet. Not even going to take that one away from him but it just illustrates why figures should be taken with a pinch of salt.

 

He fouls a Sassaulo (remember what I said about the poorer teams) before finishing on the goal line. That gets correctly disallowed and his record is now 1 in 207 minutes.

Scores an offside goal against Pescara. REcord is now 1 in every 226 minutes.

 

He gets twoagainst Chievo where you have to ask questions about match fixing. The goalie literally just watches both of the shots. Not even joking, they are definitely suspect.

 

Take those two off and he now has a record of 1 in every 276 minutes.

 

Gerry playing in a weaker side, not had a few season to get to know his teammates got one goal every 365 minutes. Pretty similar to me.

 

Factor in the fact it's a weaker side and you could legitimately argue Gerry actually had the better stats. Just saying.

 

Didn't even mention the fact that both Lazio goals were due to fortunate deflections.

 

Kopites have built him to be some sort of saviour but Chelsea got rid for a reason quite frankly.

 

 

 

Here’s his assessment on Mo’s 1st 15 goals. He must spend loads of time dissecting our games

 

1. Watford - Tap in he nearly missed.

2. Hoffenheim - Empty net

3. Arsenal - Pace goal and weird stuff from Cech, going back, coming forward, not setting himself before shot, awful angles.

4. Seville - Shouldn't even count.

5. Burnley - Reasonable goal. Keeper will be disappointed though. Near post.

6. Leicester - Was trying to nod it back across goal. Sheer fluke.

7. Daily Mirror - Shouldn't count.

8. Daily Mirror - Shouldn't count.

9. Spurs - Mishit pace goal. Lucky.

10. Daily Mirror - Shouldn't count.

11. West Ham - Pace goal with only Hart to beat

12. West Ham - SPACE goal. Afforded a ludicrous amount of space due to school boy defending from West Ham.

13. Southampton - A tidy finish but again in silly amount of space due to that clown they nearly signed in the summer going on some demented walkabout. Forrster will be disappointed to let it in as well. It was hardly in the postage stamp.

14. Southampton - Couldn't really miss.

15. Chelsea - Took it quite well but incredibly lucky deflection.

 

 

I've seen salah twice this season and he's been massively disappointing both times unfortunately. Against city he showed pace but also that he's not cut out or this league, no intelligence, can't pass, can't cross, one footed. Same last night.

Sandro will be the better

 

 

Salah has been awful hasn't he? I called it when they bought him and I'm being proven 100% correct. Scored a couple but his crossing, passing, positional awareness, footballing brain etc have to be one of the worst in the league.

It's a shame because he was bought for tens of millions of pounds by a club that's hundreds of millions of pounds in debt. The repercussions of such awful transfers can be catastrophic (Leeds, Portsmouth etc).

This transfer was compounded by signing an even worse player (in the last year of his contract) for the same money.

Tick tock.

 

 

Sandro has the ability to control any ball. You've never seen him play have you? He's like salah but quicker, better touch, better finisher, stronger and £35m cheaper.

Best signing by any club this summer

 

There speaks a guy who does shots at his local petrol station using those multipack plastic shot glasses you find in pound shops.

[Josef Svejk]

Steve O should ghost write Salah's autobiography. It would be magnificent...

[Dr Nowt]

Steve O sounds like Eeyore.

[Aventus]

Just having a look at Mo's goals from last season. First goal is case in point. He gets a pitch perfect ball but somehow manages to head directly at the goalie but then the ball bounces right to his feet. He can't miss.

 

If he wasn't so lucky his goals per minute drops from one ever 165 mins to one every 177mins. A massive leap. There's another goalagainst Bologna (most of his goals are at home to weak teams btw) which was basically an og.

 

Take that away and his goals per min becomes 1 every 191 mins. He's now averaging less than one every two games in a very, very weak serie a.

His hat-trick goal was literally an open goal after the goalie helpfully palmed it to his feet. Not even going to take that one away from him but it just illustrates why figures should be taken with a pinch of salt.

 

He fouls a Sassaulo (remember what I said about the poorer teams) before finishing on the goal line. That gets correctly disallowed and his record is now 1 in 207 minutes.

Scores an offside goal against Pescara. REcord is now 1 in every 226 minutes.

 

He gets twoagainst Chievo where you have to ask questions about match fixing. The goalie literally just watches both of the shots. Not even joking, they are definitely suspect.

 

Take those two off and he now has a record of 1 in every 276 minutes.

 

Gerry playing in a weaker side, not had a few season to get to know his teammates got one goal every 365 minutes. Pretty similar to me.

 

Factor in the fact it's a weaker side and you could legitimately argue Gerry actually had the better stats. Just saying.

 

Didn't even mention the fact that both Lazio goals were due to fortunate deflections.

 

Kopites have built him to be some sort of saviour but Chelsea got rid for a reason quite frankly.

 

 

 

Here’s his assessment on Mo’s 1st 15 goals. He must spend loads of time dissecting our games

 

1. Watford - Tap in he nearly missed.

2. Hoffenheim - Empty net

3. Arsenal - Pace goal and weird stuff from Cech, going back, coming forward, not setting himself before shot, awful angles.

4. Seville - Shouldn't even count.

5. Burnley - Reasonable goal. Keeper will be disappointed though. Near post.

6. Leicester - Was trying to nod it back across goal. Sheer fluke.

7. Daily Mirror - Shouldn't count.

8. Daily Mirror - Shouldn't count.

9. Spurs - Mishit pace goal. Lucky.

10. Daily Mirror - Shouldn't count.

11. West Ham - Pace goal with only Hart to beat

12. West Ham - SPACE goal. Afforded a ludicrous amount of space due to school boy defending from West Ham.

13. Southampton - A tidy finish but again in silly amount of space due to that clown they nearly signed in the summer going on some demented walkabout. Forrster will be disappointed to let it in as well. It was hardly in the postage stamp.

14. Southampton - Couldn't really miss.

15. Chelsea - Took it quite well but incredibly lucky deflection.

 

 

I've seen salah twice this season and he's been massively disappointing both times unfortunately. Against city he showed pace but also that he's not cut out or this league, no intelligence, can't pass, can't cross, one footed. Same last night.

Sandro will be the better

 

 

Salah has been awful hasn't he? I called it when they bought him and I'm being proven 100% correct. Scored a couple but his crossing, passing, positional awareness, footballing brain etc have to be one of the worst in the league.

It's a shame because he was bought for tens of millions of pounds by a club that's hundreds of millions of pounds in debt. The repercussions of such awful transfers can be catastrophic (Leeds, Portsmouth etc).

This transfer was compounded by signing an even worse player (in the last year of his contract) for the same money.

Tick tock.

 

 

Sandro has the ability to control any ball. You've never seen him play have you? He's like salah but quicker, better touch, better finisher, stronger and £35m cheaper.

Best signing by any club this summer

Is that a red on a windup?

[bizzle10]

Just having a look at Mo's goals from last season. First goal is case in point. He gets a pitch perfect ball but somehow manages to head directly at the goalie but then the ball bounces right to his feet. He can't miss.

 

If he wasn't so lucky his goals per minute drops from one ever 165 mins to one every 177mins. A massive leap. There's another goalagainst Bologna (most of his goals are at home to weak teams btw) which was basically an og.

 

Take that away and his goals per min becomes 1 every 191 mins. He's now averaging less than one every two games in a very, very weak serie a.

His hat-trick goal was literally an open goal after the goalie helpfully palmed it to his feet. Not even going to take that one away from him but it just illustrates why figures should be taken with a pinch of salt.

 

He fouls a Sassaulo (remember what I said about the poorer teams) before finishing on the goal line. That gets correctly disallowed and his record is now 1 in 207 minutes.

Scores an offside goal against Pescara. REcord is now 1 in every 226 minutes.

 

He gets twoagainst Chievo where you have to ask questions about match fixing. The goalie literally just watches both of the shots. Not even joking, they are definitely suspect.

 

Take those two off and he now has a record of 1 in every 276 minutes.

 

Gerry playing in a weaker side, not had a few season to get to know his teammates got one goal every 365 minutes. Pretty similar to me.

 

Factor in the fact it's a weaker side and you could legitimately argue Gerry actually had the better stats. Just saying.

 

Didn't even mention the fact that both Lazio goals were due to fortunate deflections.

 

Kopites have built him to be some sort of saviour but Chelsea got rid for a reason quite frankly.

 

 

 

Here’s his assessment on Mo’s 1st 15 goals. He must spend loads of time dissecting our games

 

1. Watford - Tap in he nearly missed.

2. Hoffenheim - Empty net

3. Arsenal - Pace goal and weird stuff from Cech, going back, coming forward, not setting himself before shot, awful angles.

4. Seville - Shouldn't even count.

5. Burnley - Reasonable goal. Keeper will be disappointed though. Near post.

6. Leicester - Was trying to nod it back across goal. Sheer fluke.

7. Daily Mirror - Shouldn't count.

8. Daily Mirror - Shouldn't count.

9. Spurs - Mishit pace goal. Lucky.

10. Daily Mirror - Shouldn't count.

11. West Ham - Pace goal with only Hart to beat

12. West Ham - SPACE goal. Afforded a ludicrous amount of space due to school boy defending from West Ham.

13. Southampton - A tidy finish but again in silly amount of space due to that clown they nearly signed in the summer going on some demented walkabout. Forrster will be disappointed to let it in as well. It was hardly in the postage stamp.

14. Southampton - Couldn't really miss.

15. Chelsea - Took it quite well but incredibly lucky deflection.

 

 

I've seen salah twice this season and he's been massively disappointing both times unfortunately. Against city he showed pace but also that he's not cut out or this league, no intelligence, can't pass, can't cross, one footed. Same last night.

Sandro will be the better

 

 

Salah has been awful hasn't he? I called it when they bought him and I'm being proven 100% correct. Scored a couple but his crossing, passing, positional awareness, footballing brain etc have to be one of the worst in the league.

It's a shame because he was bought for tens of millions of pounds by a club that's hundreds of millions of pounds in debt. The repercussions of such awful transfers can be catastrophic (Leeds, Portsmouth etc).

This transfer was compounded by signing an even worse player (in the last year of his contract) for the same money.

Tick tock.

 

 

Sandro has the ability to control any ball. You've never seen him play have you? He's like salah but quicker, better touch, better finisher, stronger and £35m cheaper.

Best signing by any club this summer

hahaha thats got to be a red trolling no way thats real brilliant stuff

[sir roger]

 

Gueye - £75m

Keane - £60m

Williams - £10m

Rooney - £20m

Klaassen - £35m

Sandro - £18m

Martina - £6m

Schneiderlin - £45m

Lookman - £25m

Pickford - £90m

 

Basically him and Walsh know what they're doing. The Kones and niasses are consigned to history. What a time to be alive. What a time to be a blue.

 

 

 

 

 

To be fair he is only a small shift of a decimal point on almost all of them.