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*Shakes head* Everton again.


Fugitive

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Fat Joe likes his pasties,

And the stadium's pie in the sky,

Moshiri is a phoney shyster,

The end of their world is nigh.

 

Fat Joe thinks he has integrity,

Lack of self awareness abounds,

Maybe some investigation is needed,

Into Everton's training grounds.

 

30 years is a long time to try and bum a stadium,

They act like their shit doesn't stink,

They will never move from Goodison.

Not a wooden seat or kitchen sink.

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MOSHIRI, LUKAKU AND... THE VOODOO?

 

Romelu Lukaku refused to sign a new contract at Everton after a voodoo message told him to join Chelsea, according to the club's major shareholder Farhad Moshiri.

 

The Belgium international was in a meeting in March at which he was scheduled to sign a new contract - around the time his agent Mino Raiola claimed the deal was 99.9 per cent done - when the u-turn happened.

 

"We offered him a better deal than Chelsea and his agent came to Finch Farm to sign the contract," Moshiri told Everton's AGM.

 

"Robert (Elstone, chief executive) was there, everything was in place, there were a few reporters outside, then in the meeting Rom called his mother.

 

"He said he was on a pilgrimage in Africa or somewhere and he had a voodoo and he got the message that he needs to go to Chelsea."

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Sorry if this has been posted already,

 

Seems part of the Liverpool's Mayors civic duties now include policing Everton's transfer dealing,. Stick to opening Garden Fetes Joe,. 

 

 

 Liverpool’s Mayor Joe Anderson has reportedly asked the police to investigate any possible wrongdoing surrounding Ross Barkley’s recent move from Everton to Chelsea.

Anderson has written to Merseyside Police, as well as the FA and the Premier League, expressing his concern that Barkley’s value dropped by £20million in just four months, following his £15m switch to Stamford Bridge.

The Labour politician, who is an Everton fan, is suspicious because Chelsea agreed a £35m fee with Everton on deadline day in August, only for the midfielder to pull out of the deal.

Anderson points out that Barkley has not played “a single minute for Everton” in the intervening period and said: “At best, this represents a very poor deal for Everton Football Club.

“At worst, it could be seen as a deliberate attempt to drive down a player’s value in the transfer market so as to benefit the player, his agent and the buying club.”

Merseyside Police have confirmed that they have received Anderson’s letter and that it “is currently being considered”, as reported by the Daily Mirror.

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An actual quote from their AGM...

Moshiri “if I tell you what we offered Lukaku you wouldn’t believe me. His agent came to finch farm to sign contract then Lukaku phones his mother” and there was a pilgrimage to Africa and some sort of voodoo that says he had to sign for Chelsea. “What can you do?”

Fucking hell.

Defo Mourinho on the other end of the phone putting an old woman’s voice on

 

Or probably just used his own now I’ve thought about it

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IF, this ground gets built, Everton won’t pay more than the £4.4 million for the cost of the insurance the council are underwriting. This lot won’t be playing more than 23 games max mist seasons in this white elephant.

 

19 if they get drawn away in the first round of the cups.

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That AGM sounds hilarious.

 

I'm picturing a pyrotechnics show, a fun pack containing a torch, a Curly Wurly, a book of stamps, a free digital watch with denim strap, a vodka miniature, a BIC-style razor, a copy of the Daily Express (ooooh, it’s a good paper).

 

And Adrian Heath piercing his foot on a spike, bunking in because he forgot his invitation.

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