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*Shakes head* Everton again.

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14 minutes ago, Reckoner said:

If we have PED suppliers in Austria, Germany and the UK you would think we could get some in Spain or particularly Italy. This club makes me sick.

Evertonians obviously don't know about EU interior border policies but, to be fair, why the fuck would they? 

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15 minutes ago, cloggypop said:

Evertonians obviously don't know about EU interior border policies but, to be fair, why the fuck would they? 

How would Everton know anything about Europe? 

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1 hour ago, Anubis said:

So a club that operates at world level can only source drugs from GermanY and Austria. I believe I’ve spotted a pattern in Mr Sport Science Degree’s theory. If one were to represent it as a piece of cheese it would look like this....

 

 

14260326-0-image-a-62_1559469043321.jpg

That’s the moon according to Calvin Aldi 

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2 hours ago, Reckoner said:

If we have PED suppliers in Austria, Germany and the UK you would think we could get some in Spain or particularly Italy. This club makes me sick.

Fuck FSG!

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4 hours ago, liverpoolsno9 said:

Shit, one of the mentalists on GOT has a mate that’s got a Sports Science degree. He’s noticed a pattern in our performances. It looks like our PEDS can only be sourced at home or Austria and Germany. Jurgen needs to get better dealers................

 

 

Calvin Aldi

Calvin Aldi

Player Valuation: £500k
Speaking to my mate last night in the pub. The game was on in the background, basically all the Liverpool fans in the pub are ones who have never been to Anfield or are of a certain age who went "home and away" for year but for some reason stopped going about 25 years ago and now never bother even when they get given tickets on a plate. 

Anyway, my mate did a Sports Science degree and reckons they are definitely taking some form of performance enhancing drugs. 

He us convinced that their results in Europe last year show a pattern.

They didn't win a game away in the Champions League last year apart from Porto who are useless and Bayern. They were easily beaten by Napoli, PSG, Red Star and Barcelona. My mate is convinced that the only reason they beat a decent Bayern so convincingly is that Klopp must know someone in Germany who either brings them the gear or makes it there. 

Every home game the were able to batter teams into submission or significantly out run them after having hard league games. Milner was still charging round like a 21 year old in injury time against Barcelona.

Might sound a bit far fetched but even in the final they looked completely shattered after 60 minutes. They also got a nice helping hand (literally) off Spurs and got another penalty in the first minute.

Even this season they were again beaten easily by Napoli, Genk would get beaten by most mid table Premier League teams yet in the final game against Salzburg they managed to turn it on against a team who have easy games most weeks and dont have to put in massive effort every week. The conspiracy theorist that my mate is reckons they somehow got hold of these PEDs as Austria is next to Germany. 

Even the World Club Championship they had 2 hard games that they laboured through but as soon as they land back in the UK they are able to outperform a Leicester team who had been in good form and batter them 4-0 despite them having a longer rest and no 7 hour flight.


Those open borders across the EU must make it impossible to get sorted. Plus, sourcing all the baby urine for the tests afterwards must really compound our logistical issues.

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6 hours ago, Reckoner said:

If we have PED suppliers in Austria, Germany and the UK you would think we could get some in Spain or particularly Italy. This club makes me sick.

Yeah but klopps german... that's the link you see, he knows major drug dealers in his homeland. Obviously the players and the club are all on board with this. Klopp came in and said "you are taking these illegal drugs and that's that"

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1 hour ago, Bobby Hundreds said:

Yeah but klopps german... that's the link you see, he knows major drug dealers in his homeland. Obviously the players and the club are all on board with this. Klopp came in and said "you are taking these illegal drugs and that's that"

It all makes sense now. It’s why we hardly buy anyone these days, incase they’re a bad grass and blow us out. Minamino must be up for it but they take a few weeks to kick in. Klopps mates work for the international testing teams when players play for their country so it’s all kept hush, fifa would lose too much

money from the telly and that. My mate said and he does media studies.

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10 hours ago, liverpoolsno9 said:

Shit, one of the mentalists on GOT has a mate that’s got a Sports Science degree. He’s noticed a pattern in our performances. It looks like our PEDS can only be sourced at home or Austria and Germany. Jurgen needs to get better dealers................

 

 

Calvin Aldi

Calvin Aldi

Player Valuation: £500k
Speaking to my mate last night in the pub. The game was on in the background, basically all the Liverpool fans in the pub are ones who have never been to Anfield or are of a certain age who went "home and away" for year but for some reason stopped going about 25 years ago and now never bother even when they get given tickets on a plate. 

Anyway, my mate did a Sports Science degree and reckons they are definitely taking some form of performance enhancing drugs. 

He us convinced that their results in Europe last year show a pattern.

They didn't win a game away in the Champions League last year apart from Porto who are useless and Bayern. They were easily beaten by Napoli, PSG, Red Star and Barcelona. My mate is convinced that the only reason they beat a decent Bayern so convincingly is that Klopp must know someone in Germany who either brings them the gear or makes it there. 

Every home game the were able to batter teams into submission or significantly out run them after having hard league games. Milner was still charging round like a 21 year old in injury time against Barcelona.

Might sound a bit far fetched but even in the final they looked completely shattered after 60 minutes. They also got a nice helping hand (literally) off Spurs and got another penalty in the first minute.

Even this season they were again beaten easily by Napoli, Genk would get beaten by most mid table Premier League teams yet in the final game against Salzburg they managed to turn it on against a team who have easy games most weeks and dont have to put in massive effort every week. The conspiracy theorist that my mate is reckons they somehow got hold of these PEDs as Austria is next to Germany. 

Even the World Club Championship they had 2 hard games that they laboured through but as soon as they land back in the UK they are able to outperform a Leicester team who had been in good form and batter them 4-0 despite them having a longer rest and no 7 hour flight.

Do you think this bell end will actually think people will believe this shite? Not only does he know every Liverpool fans background in 'the pub' , as if he ever leaves his bedroom, but its just a load of utter made up drivel. My mate got a Sport Science degree , nudge nudge wink wink, so he knows whats going on. Honestly even the most bitter Evertonian must read that and cringe. Can't even pretend it was written as a joke. We really are messing with some of their heads. Its a bad time for them with all the cuts to Mental Health services.

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9 minutes ago, R BENO said:

Do you think this bell end will actually think people will believe this shite? Not only does he know every Liverpool fans background in 'the pub' , as if he ever leaves his bedroom, but its just a load of utter made up drivel. My mate got a Sport Science degree , nudge nudge wink wink, so he knows whats going on. Honestly even the most bitter Evertonian must read that and cringe. Can't even pretend it was written as a joke. We really are messing with some of their heads. Its a bad time for them with all the cuts to Mental Health services.

 

They have a free weekend (hopefully it will remind them of losing to our kids) but instead of spending it with their family and enjoying life they'll be trying to outdo each other in the GOT Bitterness Stakes. 

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2 hours ago, Bobby Hundreds said:

Yeah but klopps german... that's the link you see, he knows major drug dealers in his homeland. Obviously the players and the club are all on board with this. Klopp came in and said "you are taking these illegal drugs and that's that"

And he'd have gotten away with it too, if it wasn't for those pesky Evertonians.

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'The game was on in the backround' is worse than the old 'the wife was watching and I just happened to see this bit' when an embarrassed partner gets caught out talking about Strictly or Love Island.

 

Of course he managed to find a pub with a Liverpool game on where nobody was interested and of course he didn't watch it with an intensity that is both disturbing and hilarious. Ask him about any incident in that match that was pro wolves and he'd be able to give you chapter and verse (probably including the time of said incident) although when he realised his mistake he'd make up some guff about only seeing it as he was waiting for his pint of whiskey at the bar and there was nothing else to watch.

 

If I was that obsessed with my own team I'd walk away, never mind an opposing team. I'd suggest gardening, chess or some adult colouring books. Anything to take his mind of us for a bit.

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I like the way Evertonians have an in depth knowledge of everybody's match going history and always seem to be in town looking round for out of town Kopites. They are a parody of themselves.

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Wonder where his mate got his sports science degree? Did he buy it online from trump university or something? Silly old me thought the point of PEDs was not to enhance your performance the moment you take them like a couple of lines of coke boost your night out and some Viagra gets your cock going for 12 hours, but instead it's to help you train in a way that allows you to build the strength/speed etc you would not otherwise be able to do, hence why sports men and women get tested out of season as well as in season and why they need to make themselves available at all times and not just on match day. They really are fucking mental Evertonians. Maybe klopp is injecting coke into the half time oranges, which is why we get so many late goals? My mate who works for Delta and has all the street rats grafting in his cabs says he's seen the pattern. 

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I used to be a big fan of Strictly till I got talking to some woman in the pub while the show was on in the background. Anyway it turns out she had a degree in Modern Dance and told me the show is fixed and to make matters even worse Bruno has links to some very dodgy fellas in Naples. That's me finished with dance. 

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53 minutes ago, Barry Wom said:

Wonder where his mate got his sports science degree? Did he buy it online from trump university or something? Silly old me thought the point of PEDs was not to enhance your performance the moment you take them like a couple of lines of coke boost your night out and some Viagra gets your cock going for 12 hours, but instead it's to help you train in a way that allows you to build the strength/speed etc you would not otherwise be able to do, hence why sports men and women get tested out of season as well as in season and why they need to make themselves available at all times and not just on match day. They really are fucking mental Evertonians. Maybe klopp is injecting coke into the half time oranges, which is why we get so many late goals? My mate who works for Delta and has all the street rats grafting in his cabs says he's seen the pattern. 

Far too sensible an argument for some of the nutters to understand.

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4 hours ago, VladimirIlyich said:

You always find scientists with rock solid evidence of wrongdoing in pubs. Why else would you go there?

Was he drinking in the Dispensary.

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1 hour ago, Barry Wom said:

Wonder where his mate got his sports science degree? Did he buy it online from trump university or something? Silly old me thought the point of PEDs was not to enhance your performance the moment you take them like a couple of lines of coke boost your night out and some Viagra gets your cock going for 12 hours, but instead it's to help you train in a way that allows you to build the strength/speed etc you would not otherwise be able to do, hence why sports men and women get tested out of season as well as in season and why they need to make themselves available at all times and not just on match day. They really are fucking mental Evertonians. Maybe klopp is injecting coke into the half time oranges, which is why we get so many late goals? My mate who works for Delta and has all the street rats grafting in his cabs says he's seen the pattern. 

He might have a point, mate. Just went back to see and we were wearing short sleeves away to Napoli, presumably because we didn't have needle scars to hide in that game. Yet last year at Bayern, I looked and most of our players where wearing those thermal under shirt things to cover their arms. Makes you think. 

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