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*Shakes head* Everton again.

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2 hours ago, Mudface said:

Apart from it all being unlikely, why would anyone be happy with a corrupt, revolting cunt like Usmanov using your club for money laundering?

Dunno. Fortunately I support neither Chelsea or Man City. 

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2 hours ago, Mudface said:

Apart from it all being unlikely, why would anyone be happy with a corrupt, revolting cunt like Usmanov using your club for money laundering?

Because it means there’s a slight hope that one day they might win a derby.

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2 hours ago, liverpoolsno9 said:

The Catcher knows exactly what’s happening and it looks like the Blueshite are gonna be blowing everyone out the water in the next few years. Worrying times. A long read, but he’s got all the detail!

 

 

 

catcherintherye

Player Valuation: £70m
As always lots of significant last night. Looks to have passed through without too much reporting, and no rumoured investigation. I think they are continuing to test the water of what they can get away with until the PL may say something. The reality is, that he will provide over £50 million this year (up from £15m the year before). If nothing is said, you wonder what the next sponsorship will look like in terms of substance and value? It's obviously harder for the PL to pick holes in the dynamic once it starts as well. So another shrewd move from Usmanov, start low, and work up in increments.

I thought another thing in the car between meetings today. If he benchmarks at 20m p/a for stadium sponsorship. He's already doubled training ground sponsorship, so that gets through as a principle. I honestly think if we hit certain benchmarks (Europa League/Champions league) the sponsorship may get trebled on each occasion. It will be in the small print of the initial deal, which the PL will likely see through, it won't mention a figure but something like a "review" is due on milestones. All the club/Usmanov can say, is that the initial deal was fine, and as part of the review, greater exposure a new value is now fairer. They can cite the training ground having doubled sponsorship as a principle, so in this instance a trebling seemed fine.

I wouldn't be surprised if the sponsorship ends up in the future are £100m p/a. The real genius in this though, I predict will be how it's offset against construction costs etc. So it won't even count as part of FFP. Or on other words, a £100million loss will be able to explained away to the FA (or 50 million if thats what it settles on). These guys are field attuned to finding grey areas. 

Whats in it for Usmanov, beyond influence, power, financial gain, indirect values to come back? Think of it this way. You want to keep money moving to make yourself harder to pin for tax purposes and also to keep options open. Company A sponsor Everton for £100m. Everton pay company B (under Usmanovs influence) £100m per/a to build a stadium (which sounds about right). Usmanov loses no money, money is moved, harder to control. Everton get an extra £100million to play with each year in terms of FFP losses (so we can continue to spend at this level, or incur the level of losses we have and we would still be in absolutely no danger of any problems with the PL/UEFA).

As a afinal aside, as Brian was mentioning yesterday, the values for Everton are then established for future sponsorship people, and Usmanov's 2nd company probably get a load of additional work for the Peel waterway 6+ billion project, so a load more money coming his company's way. Where do you reckon he is going to reward his employees, or directors who perform well at the 2/3 companies involved in all of this? He will probably pay a massive premium for the best box at the new stadium. It goes on and on.
 
It's been quite an amusing 24 hours really. RAWK is in typical meltdown. I'd made the cardinal sin and overestimated their intelligence to the level of an able minded adolescent when the collective wisdom seems to fall some way short of that. I genuinely think that they felt yesterday was going to be the day we failed FFP and went out of business.

I spoke to one quite reasonable red after the derby defeat. We spoke about the match and he threw in the usual massive losses due to be announced, I said they would be worse than he was forecasting, but I wasn't too bothered as Usmanov would likely put an injection into the club and sort it. He went quite and didn't say anything on that. Looking back he clearly felt what I was saying was completely ridiculous. They've kind of fed themselves the idea that Usmanov is a fantasy. I can see why, USM combined official wealth is over 25 bn (officially) and unofficially higher than that by any amount of degrees. Essentially we can spend and waste any degree of money and it will still be alright. 

It's just kind of funny, that they just get really irritated. Like the nerdy little kid at school who snitches on everyone and gets his head shoved down the loos at school, they are left getting angry as the cool kid basically gets away with messing it up time and again.
 

  •  

"I spoke to one quite reasonable red...." 

 

I assume he has now been banned, shot and had pictures of him fucking a blow up Salah doll posted all over twitter for that? 

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10 hours ago, Pistonbroke said:

 

Do you have Clare's number? 

Her new twitter name is Fusilli batti wants Daddy

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That Catcher lad is a bonafide genius. He gets and understands things that nobody else does, based on guess work alone - imagine what he could do if he built his opinions on facts!

 

My favourite bit of that piece he wrote is this...

 

Whats in it for Usmanov, beyond influence, power, financial gain, indirect values to come back? Think of it this way. You want to keep money moving to make yourself harder to pin for tax purposes and also to keep options open. Company A sponsor Everton for £100m. Everton pay company B (under Usmanovs influence) £100m per/a to build a stadium (which sounds about right). Usmanov loses no money, money is moved, harder to control. Everton get an extra £100million to play with each year in terms of FFP losses (so we can continue to spend at this level, or incur the level of losses we have and we would still be in absolutely no danger of any problems with the PL/UEFA).

 

I think the taxman will be able to track that process of money laundering. I mean, I’m no expert, but that seems pretty traceable to me. I can just see the auditor having just given the Everton and USM accounts the once over and green light, then coming across this run down of what he’s missed and still being confused, because this Catcherinthrye lad is so ahead of the game, it’s impossible to break down the nefariousness of the transaction even with his explanation.

 

 

B368499A-E48D-477E-8744-70B4B8993055.gif

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Well catcherintherye jumped the gun a bit about no PL investigation, didnt he? Less than 24 hours after everton make the announcement at their AGM and the PL's admittedly toothless attack dogs are on the case.

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Deffo a red conspiracy when Man City and Class and Dignity FC get investigated for cooked books while Redshite players are practically Smack addicts, ITS A DISGWACE

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12 minutes ago, belarus said:

 

I think the taxman will be able to track that process of money laundering. 

Don't underestimate the incompetency/lack of resources of the Inland Revenue, C&E, CPS, Police to undertake larger investigations. Miss your personal return by a day, or get caught importing a few extra cartons of fags, POCA money, and watch them come down on you like a ton of bricks. Millions/billions of money laundering, falsifying tax, hiding money? Fill your boots. Literally. 

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34 minutes ago, rb14 said:

Don't underestimate the incompetency/lack of resources of the Inland Revenue, C&E, CPS, Police to undertake larger investigations. Miss your personal return by a day, or get caught importing a few extra cartons of fags, POCA money, and watch them come down on you like a ton of bricks. Millions/billions of money laundering, falsifying tax, hiding money? Fill your boots. Literally. 

My Mrs got hauled in last year after being paid 25 quid for attending an Autism event and helping them complete a survey. She claims carers allowance for my son and spent two hours arguing with a panel of three people over 25 fucking quid.

 

Netflix paid fuck all tax in the UK last year despite raking in millions.

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10 hours ago, liverpoolsno9 said:

The Catcher knows exactly what’s happening and it looks like the Blueshite are gonna be blowing everyone out the water in the next few years. Worrying times. A long read, but he’s got all the detail!

 

 

 

catcherintherye

Player Valuation: £70m
As always lots of significant last night. Looks to have passed through without too much reporting, and no rumoured investigation. I think they are continuing to test the water of what they can get away with until the PL may say something. The reality is, that he will provide over £50 million this year (up from £15m the year before). If nothing is said, you wonder what the next sponsorship will look like in terms of substance and value? It's obviously harder for the PL to pick holes in the dynamic once it starts as well. So another shrewd move from Usmanov, start low, and work up in increments.

I thought another thing in the car between meetings today. If he benchmarks at 20m p/a for stadium sponsorship. He's already doubled training ground sponsorship, so that gets through as a principle. I honestly think if we hit certain benchmarks (Europa League/Champions league) the sponsorship may get trebled on each occasion. It will be in the small print of the initial deal, which the PL will likely see through, it won't mention a figure but something like a "review" is due on milestones. All the club/Usmanov can say, is that the initial deal was fine, and as part of the review, greater exposure a new value is now fairer. They can cite the training ground having doubled sponsorship as a principle, so in this instance a trebling seemed fine.

I wouldn't be surprised if the sponsorship ends up in the future are £100m p/a. The real genius in this though, I predict will be how it's offset against construction costs etc. So it won't even count as part of FFP. Or on other words, a £100million loss will be able to explained away to the FA (or 50 million if thats what it settles on). These guys are field attuned to finding grey areas. 

Whats in it for Usmanov, beyond influence, power, financial gain, indirect values to come back? Think of it this way. You want to keep money moving to make yourself harder to pin for tax purposes and also to keep options open. Company A sponsor Everton for £100m. Everton pay company B (under Usmanovs influence) £100m per/a to build a stadium (which sounds about right). Usmanov loses no money, money is moved, harder to control. Everton get an extra £100million to play with each year in terms of FFP losses (so we can continue to spend at this level, or incur the level of losses we have and we would still be in absolutely no danger of any problems with the PL/UEFA).

As a afinal aside, as Brian was mentioning yesterday, the values for Everton are then established for future sponsorship people, and Usmanov's 2nd company probably get a load of additional work for the Peel waterway 6+ billion project, so a load more money coming his company's way. Where do you reckon he is going to reward his employees, or directors who perform well at the 2/3 companies involved in all of this? He will probably pay a massive premium for the best box at the new stadium. It goes on and on.
 
It's been quite an amusing 24 hours really. RAWK is in typical meltdown. I'd made the cardinal sin and overestimated their intelligence to the level of an able minded adolescent when the collective wisdom seems to fall some way short of that. I genuinely think that they felt yesterday was going to be the day we failed FFP and went out of business.

I spoke to one quite reasonable red after the derby defeat. We spoke about the match and he threw in the usual massive losses due to be announced, I said they would be worse than he was forecasting, but I wasn't too bothered as Usmanov would likely put an injection into the club and sort it. He went quite and didn't say anything on that. Looking back he clearly felt what I was saying was completely ridiculous. They've kind of fed themselves the idea that Usmanov is a fantasy. I can see why, USM combined official wealth is over 25 bn (officially) and unofficially higher than that by any amount of degrees. Essentially we can spend and waste any degree of money and it will still be alright. 

It's just kind of funny, that they just get really irritated. Like the nerdy little kid at school who snitches on everyone and gets his head shoved down the loos at school, they are left getting angry as the cool kid basically gets away with messing it up time and again.
 

  •  

I like the way he structured that like a story, particularly as it sounds completely made up it.

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So nobody is going to notice that Finch Farm is being sponsored to the tune of £100m per year provided its increased in £6m increments?

 

Hmmmm....

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16 minutes ago, Anubis said:

So nobody is going to notice that Finch Farm is being sponsored to the tune of £100m per year provided its increased in £6m increments?

 

Hmmmm....

And the council still own it too.

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1 minute ago, Doctor Troy said:

And the council still own it too.

No, but that’s just him being savvy. He knows what he’s doing, as does Catcherintherye. We are all here just making up the numbers mate. Mere plebs in all of this.

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41 minutes ago, Anubis said:

So nobody is going to notice that Finch Farm is being sponsored to the tune of £100m per year provided its increased in £6m increments?

 

Hmmmm....

Not going to read it again but think the adjective used for this slight of hand as "genius". I know this is a parody thread but the shakes head part of title never been truer

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