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*Shakes head* Everton again.

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16 minutes ago, Tj hooker said:

And this beauty: We will win this comfortably

We will sit majestically where we belong, on top, even for just 24 hours.

"Where we belong..."

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Those plays on at the Royal Court are fucking grim. The people who write them must be pissing themselves laughing at  the amount of people who go to watch them. 

 

Basically just take any film, TV series or musical and put a scouse scally slant on it. Throw in a few jokes about aliens/monsters/bible figures or South Pacific islanders ordering stuff from the chippy, living on Scotty Road or going on the rob and all the uber scousers will lap it up. 

 

My ma always used to read those misery novels like Two pence to cross the mersey. Most involved a young girl from a religious famiy, with a trace of Irish ancestry or parentage who stopped her going to school and sent her to work in a factory aged 12 but she always wanted something better from life, argues with her parents then ran away and got up the duff of some chancer who had done the same to some other poor unsuspecting girl. Tge dad is normally a heavy drinker who is always in church every Sunday.

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On 16/08/2019 at 17:05, Doctor Troy said:

I think teams who have won the European Cup more than 5 times should be given automatic entry into it forever in Pot 1. Especially teams who play in all red and begin with L.

Compared to most of the UEFA?FIFA?MAFIA decisions this is sensible and well thought out. I was going to suggest also excluding Blue clad English clubs beginning with E but then realised there would be no fucking point

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1 hour ago, TheHowieLama said:

If they do go top I will talk about how they bottled it for the next 9 months.

Ding ding ding, we have a winner. Outstanding. Can you imagine their little heads trying desperately to square that circle? Ha ha.

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1 hour ago, Pistonbroke said:

I hope Villa piss on their chips big style. I bet Bitter fans are already organising a display of plastic flags, the weird fucks. 

Fixed that for you.

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2 hours ago, Doctor Troy said:

Those plays on at the Royal Court are fucking grim. The people who write them must be pissing themselves laughing at  the amount of people who go to watch them. 

 

Basically just take any film, TV series or musical and put a scouse scally slant on it. Throw in a few jokes about aliens/monsters/bible figures or South Pacific islanders ordering stuff from the chippy, living on Scotty Road or going on the rob and all the uber scousers will lap it up. 

 

My ma always used to read those misery novels like Two pence to cross the mersey. Most involved a young girl from a religious famiy, with a trace of Irish ancestry or parentage who stopped her going to school and sent her to work in a factory aged 12 but she always wanted something better from life, argues with her parents then ran away and got up the duff of some chancer who had done the same to some other poor unsuspecting girl. Tge dad is normally a heavy drinker who is always in church every Sunday.

My missus takes the kids and half her family (they're not from Liverpool) every Christmas to some scouse panto shite in town, they don't even bother asking me these days but early on I would get "You should come, it's funny, it's all based on scoucers humour and you're from Liverpool".

 

No thanks.

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2 hours ago, Doctor Troy said:

My ma always used to read those misery novels like Two pence to cross the mersey. Most involved a young girl from a religious famiy, with a trace of Irish ancestry or parentage who stopped her going to school and sent her to work in a factory aged 12 but she always wanted something better from life, argues with her parents then ran away and got up the duff of some chancer who had done the same to some other poor unsuspecting girl. Tge dad is normally a heavy drinker who is always in church every Sunday.

Sure it was your ma, Doc ?

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2 hours ago, Pistonbroke said:

I hope Villa piss on their chips big style. I bet Bitter fans are already organising a banner, the weird fucks. 

 

Villa Satis Pissy Chips Optimum.

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38 minutes ago, sir roger said:

Sure it was your ma, Doc ?

Yes. My mum is one of these old school sentimental types and tried to align her life with these stories. Basically my mum was from a shit area and was just expected to get a job within a 2 mile radius of her house at 15 but then she decided she wanted to go abroad and work as a nanny to the horror of the rest of the family. 

 

My mum used to read 3 or 4 of these books a year and got a cob on when I used to read the back cover and take the piss out of them.

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49 minutes ago, manwiththestick said:

My missus takes the kids and half her family (they're not from Liverpool) every Christmas to some scouse panto shite in town, they don't even bother asking me these days but early on I would get "You should come, it's funny, it's all based on scoucers humour and you're from Liverpool".

 

No thanks.

Sinbad and Scully have got it made. They have safer and more regular work than the fellas who plays Ken Barlow.

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15 minutes ago, Doctor Troy said:

Sinbad and Scully have got it made. They have safer and more regular work than the fellas who plays Ken Barlow.

Wasn’t Scully fucking Director at the Royal Court? They are all stealing a fucking living that I know.

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20 minutes ago, El Dangerous said:

I like the idea that more than one person plays Ken Barlow. Like a cobbled 007.

He's died 5 times since 1966. And they just get people to wear a mask. Last fella to play him was Mick Johnson. 

 

Typo obviously. 

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32 minutes ago, VERBAL DIARRHEA said:

Wasn’t Scully fucking Director at the Royal Court? They are all stealing a fucking living that I know.

Probably yeah. Sinbad posted a photo of himself with Burt Young at the Royal court before Christmas. I thought they'd roped him into some shit scouse play seeing as Sly killed him off in Creed.

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Just now, Doctor Troy said:

Probably yeah. Sinbad posted a photo of himself with Burt Young at the Royal court before Christmas. I thought they'd roped him into some shit scouse play seeing as Sly killed him off in Creed.

My Mrs got tickets to one a few years back, cannot even remember what it was called, all the usual crew. I wanted off after 15 minutes but she made me wait till the interval. Absolute dross, Scully was a fireman in it, Louis Emerick a bouncer.

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44 minutes ago, VERBAL DIARRHEA said:

On the ledge it was called. I would have fucking thrown myself of the balcony if I had to suffer it much longer.

I went to one ages ago called Slappers and Slapheads. Pete Price was the narrator and it was just about some jarg club like the Grafton. Pure Aids.

 

The big fat blonde woman who is in that Ballad of Dixie and Kenny and every other Royal Court play broke character type to play a big fat blonde woman who is obsessed with cock. 

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1 minute ago, Doctor Troy said:

I went to one ages ago called Slappers and Slapheads. Pete Price was the narrator and it was just about some jarg club like the Grafton. Pure Aids.

 

The big fat blonde woman who is in that Ballad of Dixie and Kenny and every other Royal Court play broke character type to play a big fat blonde woman who is obsessed with cock. 

Apparently she can do Scouse and Scouser. A rare breed. 

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