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*Shakes head* Everton again.

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Think I’ve worked the BS thing out, but bear with me.

 

Right, we enter a 32 team tournament with all the PL and the top teams from Scotland and Northern Ireland plus Wales. There are 8 groups of 7, we’re seeded ten and go into group Q, ok so far? Great!

We enter a group with Jossy’s Giants, The Brick 2nd XI and Cuba. We finish fourth but qualify to the knockout stage by a combination of bribery and Voodoo. Easy so far.

In the round of 16 one off ties means we play ourselves, winning comfortably. In the quarter final we 

meet Everton who are handicapped by having to play in Skis, a win on penalties ensues for the Reds. Semi-final time and it’s old rivals Rhyl, in a tense game Liverpool come from behind to win 9-0 with 11 goals from Joel Matip.

 

The Final of the Bitter Imaginary Trophy will be contested by Liverpool FC and Tesco Harrogate Women’s U21s, to be held at Anfield of course, away fans banned. The game is a walkover for Tesco who decimate Liverpool 1-0.

Unfortunately Tesco are stripped of the trophy after a dodgy till receipt is found, the Trophy is therefore handed to Liverpool who supplied said receipt out of a duty of honour.

Liverpool FC are duly crowned inauguaral Champions and are given an extra £25 billion pound bonus from the Queen of Sheba.

 

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3 hours ago, VERBAL DIARRHEA said:

Think I’ve worked the BS thing out, but bear with me.

 

Right, we enter a 32 team tournament with all the PL and the top teams from Scotland and Northern Ireland plus Wales. There are 8 groups of 7, we’re seeded ten and go into group Q, ok so far? Great!

We enter a group with Jossy’s Giants, The Brick 2nd XI and Cuba. We finish fourth but qualify to the knockout stage by a combination of bribery and Voodoo. Easy so far.

In the round of 16 one off ties means we play ourselves, winning comfortably. In the quarter final we 

meet Everton who are handicapped by having to play in Skis, a win on penalties ensues for the Reds. Semi-final time and it’s old rivals Rhyl, in a tense game Liverpool come from behind to win 9-0 with 11 goals from Joel Matip.

 

The Final of the Bitter Imaginary Trophy will be contested by Liverpool FC and Tesco Harrogate Women’s U21s, to be held at Anfield of course, away fans banned. The game is a walkover for Tesco who decimate Liverpool 1-0.

Unfortunately Tesco are stripped of the trophy after a dodgy till receipt is found, the Trophy is therefore handed to Liverpool who supplied said receipt out of a duty of honour.

Liverpool FC are duly crowned inauguaral Champions and are given an extra £25 billion pound bonus from the Queen of Sheba.

 

 

Easier than Duckworth-Lewis.

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40 minutes ago, Le Duan said:

How the fuck do Everton deserve the tag “high achieving”?

 

They won the transfer window.

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1 hour ago, Le Duan said:

How the fuck do Everton deserve the tag “high achieving”?

 

They got a draw in the Derby..........and stopped us winning the League. Doesn’t get much better than that for them. Their highlights over the last 15 years has been Athens, Basle, Kiev, Fantascruff, Stevie slipping, Kompany scoring that goal, getting a draw on the Derby, the Liver Birds lit up in Blue. The fountain cunt in Barca. The ball boy ‘owning’ Klopp.  Like a roll of honour for them. 

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Everton complete £22m signing of Andre Gomes. Gomes: “I hope in the seasons to come we can enjoy more good football and win trophies. That's what we all want.”

 

 

Andre Gomes is ToffeeDan and i claim my £5......

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2 minutes ago, dylstar said:

Everton complete £22m signing of Andre Gomes. Gomes: “I hope in the seasons to come we can enjoy more good football and win trophies. That's what we all want.”

 

 

Andre Gomes is ToffeeDan and i claim my £5......

When I started my new job 2 months ago I told my boss "I'm really excited to be here and I hope I can bang Jessica Alba to bits."

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Everton Twitter is just like a parallel universe. Saw some slagging off Mane for saying he'd rather win the African Cup of Nations over the Champions League with us. I haven't seen one Liverpool fan complain about what he said. Yet to Evertonians it's such a big deal.

 

Makes me laugh the way they will pick holes in our great players saying Gerrard never won the league, Kenny Dalglish was too slow, Ian Rush failed in Italy, Salah is a diver. 

 

Yet all they do is worship some fella no one alive has seen play because they heard he scored 60 goals in one season, a drunk permanently injured alehouse centre forward who scored in a few derbies and got an Everton tattoo, and a couple of players who had one or two decent seasons. 

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19 minutes ago, Doctor Troy said:

Everton Twitter is just like a parallel universe. Saw some slagging off Mane for saying he'd rather win the African Cup of Nations over the Champions League with us. I haven't seen one Liverpool fan complain about what he said. Yet to Evertonians it's such a big deal.

 

Makes me laugh the way they will pick holes in our great players saying Gerrard never won the league, Kenny Dalglish was too slow, Ian Rush failed in Italy, Salah is a diver. 

 

Yet all they do is worship some fella no one alive has seen play because they heard he scored 60 goals in one season, a drunk permanently injured alehouse centre forward who scored in a few derbies and got an Everton tattoo, and a couple of players who had one or two decent seasons. 

Which is mad because the champions league is on a par with the league cup anyway 

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8 hours ago, VERBAL DIARRHEA said:

The Fat Slug and Evertonians will hate this. Most citizens of Liverpool should rejoice.

 

 

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/48762084

"Watched by one and a half billion people worldwide..."

 

Yeah, right. Who the fuck watches the Commonwealth Games? Why does it even exist anymore?

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1 hour ago, Anubis said:

He’s back for more. More punishment.

 

 

 

Here to stay because I’m not wanted elsewhere and that speech reeked of script.

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Is it just me or is that Gomez not that good? People are saying £22 million is good money, yes it is, for Barcelona. They couldn’t wait to be rid of him. I’m sure he was voted in their top 5 worst signings of all time.

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5 minutes ago, Angie81 said:

Is it just me or is that Gomez not that good? People are saying £22 million is good money, yes it is, for Barcelona. They couldn’t wait to be rid of him. I’m sure he was voted in their top 5 worst signings of all time.

No - same here - and not just because he’s a Bloo. Seems to decorate games when the team is in front with a few aimless dribbles, but just disappears when they’ve under the cosh. I don’t get it am I missing something? Wonder what our stats team rated him at?

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