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*Shakes head* Everton again.


Fugitive

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3 hours ago, Doctor Troy said:

The Wilmslow is where they have post match hospitality with ex players because their hospitality in the ground is like the fucking Lathom in Seaforth. You pay for the privilege of bevvying in 2 shitholes and having chicken in a basket twice whilst listening to tales from someone shite who scored in a derby once.

Haha. To be fair I think we still sucker some poor cunts for hospitality for hot dogs and sausage rolls in the upstairs of the sandon. 

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My word, I fucking hate them. I shouldn’t generalise as a have a few Blue mates that are normally sound. But as our Title draws ever closer even them are showing their true colours. Anyway, here’s a nice little poem for us all....

 

 

 

Blue 1

Blue 1

Player Valuation: £70m
Has this been posted here yet? CBA to check.

You descend on your city 
With red scarves raised high 
But we think you are [swearword] 
Now let me tell why 
It’s not that we felt 
Andy Carroll was wank 
Or that your socialist club is funded by a bank 
It’s not the fact that when Italians scatter 
And end up dead they really don’t matter 
It’s not even the fact that you all love John peel 
Who picked on sub 16 girls for a touch and a feel

It’s not John Aldo who will glass any man 
Who disagrees the reds are the best in the land 
Or the benefit fraudster the bad racist Tommy 
Who would throw any black person right on the bonny 

Or Bruce the backhand who felt it was fine 
To insult Howard Gayle on a pure racial line 
Or even Bill shankly who for all his trite quotes 
Was turned away at melwood by jobsworth scrotes

Or your capitalist work in the Anfield zone 
Bullying homeowners who then walked alone 
It’s not Stevie Gee and his reliance on thugs 
To cover off his [Poor language removed] of a wife and her drugs 

Or Jamie Carragher spitting at girls 
These thing are acceptable in the LFC world 
Your manager fist pumps but he’s just a phoney 
Who gurns for the cameras but if losing is moany 

It’s not even Shields the waiter coma provider 
Who could climb up the walls of a hotel like a spider 
And lo and behold when it all came out 
It wasn’t our fault it was a blue they all shout

It’s not even the obvious media bias 
All over every channel all of them liars 
It’s not the waistcoats with badges upon 
Or that horrible Scottish #### Ian St. John

It’s not even the fact that you sang a Munich song 
Then cried like biatches when the Mancs returned a wrong 
It’s not the fact that Emlyn the red 
Courted Thatcher- we’re glad they’re both dead

It’s not the fact that when Suarez overstepped the line 
You became Uruguayan cultural experts and to you that was fine 
It’s not John Bishop the celebrity wool 
Or your lad Tarby- another tory- awful 
Or the lovely Cilla- another tory prat
Or Doctor Fun the [banned word] with his duvet and hat 

It’s not Dalglish and his North London crime mates 
Or the lads who to this day away steam the gates 
That happened in Athens and if it wasn’t enough 
You taxed your own fans but you're not very tough 
Cos when the chance at Istanbul came 
You bent over with a fez to Leeds dead fans shame. 

It’s not your shabite show tunes and music played high 
To creat a faux atmos each game you all try 
To believe that what you have matters one more iota 
Than every club with their loyal fan quota

It’s the arrogance like a real spoilt kid 
Who will whitewash the disgusting things your fans did 
Who will justify anything you’ve done in the red 
As it wasn’t our fault, it was them, look what they said

It’s not Jimmy Case and his fake hard man Schtick 
Or Fowler abusing Le Saux - homophobic prick 

It’s the fact that if Fred West had stood on the kop 
You’d have talked about his building work and let the rest drop 
If Shipman had been looking after the team 
You’d have discredited the pensioners and made it seem 
That because he’s a red he is always right 
But the rest of the world knows that’s unmitigated shabite 

You play nice football that I will concede 
But it’s all sadly all lost in corporate and needy fan greed, 
The world all hates you 
Not because you are boss 
But because you are ungracious come win draw or loss

And if my kids had told me they’d been reds at birth 
I’d have drowned them at once because I know their worth 
Life matters much more than a match played by men 
Who are as loyal as their options and then one day when 
You realise that you’ve been following a corporate dream 
You’ll be stuck in yer ma’s box room tossing off to a screen 

You’ll tell tales of special nights you never attended 
And when people have a go you’ll get really offended 
And try to relate it to a tragedy or two 
As it’s your get out card so shame shame on you

The reason we hate you is simple to tell 
You think you are special - are you though? 
'Kin hell?

 

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The Grand Old Team you hear them exclaim.

Subsidised tickets to get to the game.

The Peoples Club another myth exposed.

A decrepit stadium needing to be bulldozed.

The Old Lady we are and they say it every day.

Pity that team is really Juve.

Bitter and Proud their usual retort.

While really they’d be better following another sport.

Jealous, deluded, nasty and vile.

Redshite Murderers their usual bile.

They say we’re victims and always to blame.

The stuff they come out with puts them to shame.

Now I could go on, wax lyrical and bluster.

Get wound up and all in a fluster.

I reconcile myself with a little ditty.

The world is ours, and so is the City.

 

Tony Kirkdale. Aka VD.

 

 

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The standard of English is, of course, awful, but I think my biggest issue with it is the tonal shift. From decrying Jamie Carragher for spitting, to suggesting you would drown your children at birth if there was any danger of them being a Liverpool fan, is quite jarring.

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