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*Shakes head* Everton again.


Fugitive

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44 minutes ago, liverpoolsno9 said:

He did one for the run to Kiev too. He knows what he means......

 

 

ToffeeDan

Player Valuation: £70m
To illustrate their luck - using an FA Cup style competition as an illustration 

Liverpool are Wolves (ranked 21st out of 37) - so "Wolves" are in a competition with the entire Premier League and 17 of the 24 teams in the Championship

They played:

Queens Park Rangers in the Play offs (2nd leg at home)
In the main draw they got Sheff UtdNorwich and Leicester
In the last 16 they drew Crystal Palace (2nd leg at home)
In the quarter finals they drew Newcastle United and the ref helps them along
In the semi-final they drew Cardiff and the ref helps them along (whilst Man City played Man Utd)
In the final they ("Wolves") will play Man City

Now tell me they haven't been lucky.
 

Fucking hell, even in his imagination they can't seem to qualify...

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So, we were ranked 22nd last season and are the equivalent of Sheffield United using this season's league standings (not last season's for some reason or other).

 

Everton were ranked 78th, so that makes them the equivalent of Stevenage (10th in league 2 this season)? Is that how this bollocks works? 'Cos it's a bit of a slight on a proud club like Stevenage.

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To illustrate their luck. They enter a 30 man Royal Rumble, and come in at number 15 with only a Tortoise, a Washing Machine and two Kebabs left in the ring.

They then times four by Squirrel and get Soap. After they defeat all comers including Idi Amin and Lester Pigott they luckily win Miss America. Bastards.

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3 hours ago, rotoq said:

He must be a genius, because we finished a point off the top and won the European cup, and only 2 of our players would get a game for them.

Yeah, to be fair I forgot how few of our players could play for them. I'm surprised it's as many as 2 thinking about it. After all they have richarlison and Bernard in those wide areas and firmino isn't even a number 9, so it's obvious Calvert Lewin would get a game before him. Their midfield walked all over us twice this season. There's not a finer left back in the league than digne and Mina is a monster, did you know they've both been to Barcelona on holiday? Then there's Michael Keane, who is easily England's finest centre half and everyone always underestimates Seamus Coleman. And then the keepers. The mistakes alisson makes. There's no way he's better than Jordan pickford. What a game he had in the nation's league 3rd place play off. He took a pen and then saved one, what a character, what a keeper. Fuck knows how we finished above them. 

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5 hours ago, liverpoolsno9 said:

This fella has took a lot of time and effort on this. Think he’s trying to say we were lucky in a roundabout way! 

 

 

ToffeeDan

ToffeeDan

Player Valuation: £70m
You mean Spurs.
Updated to reflect current season rankings

Assume City (1st) are the best team in a 32 team competition. Everton are 8th best, Huddersfield 20th and the top 12 sides in the Championship make up the rest

This is how lucky Liverpool get in their progess to the two finals.

Last season - ranked 22nd. Let's say they are Sheffield United. They draw the 4th seed of 5 in the qualifier....

They go into Pot 3 and lose the FA Cup Final equivalent by getting past

Everton Bournemouth and Swansea

Knock Out. Burnley, Newcastle, Leeds and then lose to Man City in the Final....

This season. They are Brighton ranked 17/32..

They draw Wolves, Newcastle and Brentford and scrape out the group stages.

They beat Spurs (4), Watford and Chelsea

In the final - based on rankings - they face either 21 Norwich or 15 Burnley.....

I realise, superficially this is a bit silly and they have achieved a lot but this shows how much luck plays its part
 
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Hes on glue. No other explanation.

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Hilariously, Manchester City, that team they pinned all their hopes on this season, didn't need deluded imaginations to whip up some bizarre cup runs. City got them in real life (without even mentioning their very generous CL run), en route to both domestic cups, yet they weren't lucky while Liverpool were? Or something. 

 

 

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12 hours ago, liverpoolsno9 said:

This fella has took a lot of time and effort on this. Think he’s trying to say we were lucky in a roundabout way! 

 

 

ToffeeDan

ToffeeDan

Player Valuation: £70m
You mean Spurs.
Updated to reflect current season rankings

Assume City (1st) are the best team in a 32 team competition. Everton are 8th best, Huddersfield 20th and the top 12 sides in the Championship make up the rest

This is how lucky Liverpool get in their progess to the two finals.

Last season - ranked 22nd. Let's say they are Sheffield United. They draw the 4th seed of 5 in the qualifier....

They go into Pot 3 and lose the FA Cup Final equivalent by getting past

Everton Bournemouth and Swansea

Knock Out. Burnley, Newcastle, Leeds and then lose to Man City in the Final....

This season. They are Brighton ranked 17/32..

They draw Wolves, Newcastle and Brentford and scrape out the group stages.

They beat Spurs (4), Watford and Chelsea

In the final - based on rankings - they face either 21 Norwich or 15 Burnley.....

I realise, superficially this is a bit silly and they have achieved a lot but this shows how much luck plays its part
 
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 Reactions:Yid4life

 

 

 

 

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Think I’ve worked the BS thing out, but bear with me.

 

Right, we enter a 32 team tournament with all the PL and the top teams from Scotland and Northern Ireland plus Wales. There are 8 groups of 7, we’re seeded ten and go into group Q, ok so far? Great!

We enter a group with Jossy’s Giants, The Brick 2nd XI and Cuba. We finish fourth but qualify to the knockout stage by a combination of bribery and Voodoo. Easy so far.

In the round of 16 one off ties means we play ourselves, winning comfortably. In the quarter final we 

meet Everton who are handicapped by having to play in Skis, a win on penalties ensues for the Reds. Semi-final time and it’s old rivals Rhyl, in a tense game Liverpool come from behind to win 9-0 with 11 goals from Joel Matip.

 

The Final of the Bitter Imaginary Trophy will be contested by Liverpool FC and Tesco Harrogate Women’s U21s, to be held at Anfield of course, away fans banned. The game is a walkover for Tesco who decimate Liverpool 1-0.

Unfortunately Tesco are stripped of the trophy after a dodgy till receipt is found, the Trophy is therefore handed to Liverpool who supplied said receipt out of a duty of honour.

Liverpool FC are duly crowned inauguaral Champions and are given an extra £25 billion pound bonus from the Queen of Sheba.

 

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