Worst stand-up comedian ever

[Stu Monty]

It's a hard one because I've only ever watched most stand ups on TV, and obviously if they're shit I'd turn it over. I'd say probably Lee Evans (don't compute at all, he's just a tit) or Jimmy Carr from the main stand up crowd, or Alan Davies. I believe Coogan is spectacularly bad too, although I've never seen him.

 

His live show where he did stand-up as about five different characters, The man who thinks he's it, was very, very good. I heard that his last tour was a bit shit though.

[thechap]

In an alternate universe Lenny Henry is white and stopped receiving money from the BBC in the early to mid 90s.

[Mike D]

comedy, hardest game in the world

 

[RedinSweden]

The standard of stand up comedy at the moment is particulary awful at the moment.

 

Hand on heart, there is only Dylan Moran that I would pay to see.

 

He is fucking brilliant live.

[RedBrian84]

He is fucking brilliant live.

 

I'm off to see him at the end of the month, and I absolutely can't wait. He's outstanding. Also got Bailey tickets for this year. Comedy gold.

[Steve Holt]

Bill Bailey was good once. I saw him live 3 years ago and could have cried with how shite he was. He just spent the whole gig badly rehashing jokes that had worked before. He even stooped so low as to sing that song from his other dvd about the relationship. He didn't even do it as well.

 

It was the most phoned in stand up performance I have ever seen in my life. The man is a hack now. He should have stayed on Buzzcocks where making a vaguely Tolkien-esque remark once every few minutes would cut it.

[Guest davelfc]

chris rock.

 

i don't think I need to add anything to that.

[Steve Holt]

I'd happily see Shappi Korshandi stoned to death. The woman is a comedy black hole. Not even the slightest bit of humour escapes. Yeah I get it love, you're Iranian. I never planted you in your mum's cunt, don't punish me because you hate your homeland.

 

Sarah Milican. Well. She's just Jo Brand light with a Geordie accent which supposedly adds a modicum of charm to her vile routine. "Howay ah was washin us teeth one maaaarnin and ah thote 'This toothbrush tastes reet funny' and suddenly remembered that I'd used it to wash out me cat's fanny the night before. Ah felt a reet tit ah did lad. HOWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYY." Fuck off and die a lonely spinster you untalented, ugly clown shoe.

 

Jo Brand. Someone once told her "You look funny" and she got the wrong idea. What ensued was a breach of human rights. I get it, you're uglier than Colonel Gadafi and it means you must be some kind of desperate for a shag from some of the lowest bottom feeding cretins that have ever walked the Earth. There, I've just given the synopsis to EVERY joke you have ever told. Now fuck off!

[Vincent Vega]

Peter "fucking" Kay. Phoenix Nights was funny but was co-written by Spikey and Fitzmaurice so he doesn't get all the credit for that, everything since embarrassing, unfunny, lazy bilge.

[Mike D]

the worst ones are the ones you see die on their arse in local clubs and pubs.

[Section_31]

Peter "fucking" Kay. Phoenix Nights was funny but was co-written by Spikey and Fitzmaurice so he doesn't get all the credit for that, everything since embarrassing, unfunny, lazy bilge.

 

I can't stand Kay but I can't say he's a shit standup, he's good at what he does if you're in to that kind of thing. He's the JK Rowling of comedy, he's hoovered up all the stuff you've seen about 100 different people doing, repackaged it and made a killing.

[Istvan Kozma]

[YOUTUBE]i91KQs12-q4[/YOUTUBE]stewart lee is quite good. too many shit ones to mention, eddie izzard is mint. frankie boyles biggest sin is being shit, we can handle offensive if it is funny, ie rooted in truth rather than cruel prejudice.

[Section_31]

the worst ones are the ones you see die on their arse in local clubs and pubs.

 

I actually think that's far, far harder than what established comics come up against. A known comedian has had people pay good money to go and see him/her, the audience knows what brand of humour they're buying in to, they at least like the person to begin with. The smaller clubs are just filled to the brim with cheapskates cunts who, very often, are just there to fuck around and heckle.

 

I'd find it far easier to stand up in front of 1,000 people who all think I'm ace, than in front of 20 pissed up students and scum.

[Mike D]

thats where they start and have to impress, its ok when you've got a packed audience who love you, but trying to get the attention of a small group I agree is tough..

[Hand Shandy]

Peter "fucking" Kay. Phoenix Nights was funny but was co-written by Spikey and Fitzmaurice so he doesn't get all the credit for that, everything since embarrassing, unfunny, lazy bilge.

 

My wife's friends live next door to Dave Spikey. He hates Kay with a passion!

 

On a sidenote, we were in their local one night when he came in. My wife, who had never spoken to him before and was well on her way to being hammered, walked up to him and utters the immortal words: 'You're in Phoenix Nights aren't you? Go on then, say something funny!'

 

I have to say, he didn't look very impressed...

[Steve Holt]

[YOUTUBE]i91KQs12-q4[/YOUTUBE]stewart lee is quite good. too many shit ones to mention, eddie izzard is mint. frankie boyles biggest sin is being shit, we can handle offensive if it is funny, ie rooted in truth rather than cruel prejudice.

 

I know that you said he is good an all, but S****** L**'s name should be nowhere near this thread.

[AngryOfTuebrook]

Chubby Brown has to be the shitest stand up around?

 

"My wife's clit is fucking huuuuge" and that is it!

 

I saw this prick about 20 years ago in Warrington and I've still not recovered from how painfully witless, unoriginal and unfunny he was. Really, "Why did the fucking bastard chicken cross the cunting shitty road?" bollocks.

 

He was introduced by some big brassy middle-aged tart in a sparkly frock. For the first 10 minutes or so he had the audience on his side, giving him a few well-intentioned "you fat bastard"s, to give him the chance to use some anti-heckle put-downs.

 

Instead, he just walked off stage and sent the brassy tart back out to tell us all to behave ourselves - sit still and be quiet - or he wouldn't be coming back on stage.

 

Shitehawk.

[AngryOfTuebrook]

Lee Evans....just annoying!

Gervais.....cringeworthingly un-funny

Michael McIntyre....just annoying!

 

Think for me all new comedians are crap...too scared to offend..

 

For me Billy Connolly...Dave Allen....Jim Davidson....Les Dawson....Bernard Manning all get me laughing!

 

Bernard Manning made me laugh once: 18 June 2007.

 

Still waiting for Jim Davidson to make me laugh...

[grimble]

Jim Davidson. A thousand times, Jim Davidson. London's best ever stand-up comedian, and that's all you need to know about him and about London. I would rather eat a cold baked bean out of Jimmy Sommerville's weeping urethra than listen to one of his shows. There are plenty of other bad comedians out there, but his special brand of egomania, cheeky-chappiness, cockernee sparra anti-comedy marks him out for particular hatred. Some people hate him because he is "offensive and racist". I think dubbing him racist is offensive to racism. The funniest thing he has ever done is failed with that play he recently brought out. I despise him.

 

Best stand-ups on the circuit right now are Dylan Moran and Stewart Lee.

[Mendoza]

Bernard Manning made me laugh once: 18 June 2007.

 

Still waiting for Jim Davidson to make me laugh...

 

Me too

 

[YOUTUBE]x8dBo-GcrXU[/YOUTUBE]

[Fugitive]

Game, Set & Match!!!

[Guest davelfc]

Ken Goodwin, what the fuck was that all about?

 

freddie parrot faced Davies - He actually got paid and if memory serves me right his own show!

 

Bernie Clifton, talentless fuck. Most of us would wear a weird fancy dress costume for one night, this cunt made a living from it.

 

Bernie Winters. Again, what were they thinking.

 

Jethro, only funny if you have three thumbs and your sister is also your mother.

 

click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click (that's me continuing to pull the trigger long after the ammo has run out)

Here you go, one is little and one is large, I'm cracking up already CUNTS!

click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click (shit I'm out of ammo)

[Duff Man]

Definitely Gina Yashere. She just raises her voice. And that's it. Her entire act is shouting in an odd accent. Woefull. Hate Russell Howard for the same reason. Crossing your eyes and putting on a squeaky voice does not make you funny you cunt.

[Mike D]

Manning was good

 

dont agree go and watch Friends.

[chauncey]

The women stand-ups are getting a rough ride here. They're not all shit: Victoria Wood was very funny (and edgy) at one time, Maria Bamford is funny now. Even Sarah Silverman has her moments.

 

The point still stands though: this country is crap for female comedians - but not quality female comedy performers, strangely enough, we have loads of them.

 

click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click (shit I'm out of ammo)

 

Drop that pistol and man the harpoons!