Sometimes I sit down to piss...

[Steve Holt]

God that feels better. I've been carrying that burden for a while.

 

Thing is, nearly two years ago, we got a new bathroom put in. It was one of those things were the government comes in and equips the bathroom for someone with a disability. Took everything out and replaced it. Bath became stand up shower (with one of them little seats that you can put in if you need it), new sink, new toilet.

 

Thing was, the toilet seat on said toilet doesn't stay up on it's own. Never. I dunno why. At first I would hold it up, but this meant leaning forward and standing in an uncomfortable position. So eventually I gave up. I sat down. We must have all done it at some point, even if it was an accident. You know how you go in expecting twos and suddenly they disappear and you're sitting on the bog just pissing instead?

 

Anyway. I don't care. I stand up other places. But when I'm at home, I sit down to piss. And until we get the seat fixed it will stay that way.

 

Neg all you want you bunch of cunts.

[Mendoza]

Sometimes i piss in the pitch darkness to see how precise i am.

[Fugitive]

Sit down pissing carries risks. You sit there and feel invincible with a sense of 'nothing can go wrong'. You get over-confident and then it happens... you piss through the gap between the bowl and the seat.

 

Wet floor, pissykecks, broken dreams and sense of over-whelming failure... never again.

[Ziggy Stardust]

I often do the same, nothing wrong with the seat or anything, I just like to sit down sometimes.

[Steve Holt]

haha! Someone rep Fugitive for me. I have to spread it.

[Mendoza]

Sit down pissing carries risks. You sit there and feel invincible with a sense of 'nothing can go wrong'. You get over-confident and then it happens... you piss through the gap between the bowl and the seat.

 

Wet floor, pissykecks, broken dreams and sense of over-whelming failure... never again.

 

You have an impressive knowledge of the various nuances of visiting the toilet.

[Guest ShoePiss]

[YOUTUBE]kuHDYR9uRGc[/YOUTUBE]

[Steve Holt]

[YOUTUBE]kuHDYR9uRGc[/YOUTUBE]

"Do you crap standing up?"

 

Funkhouser is a legend.

[Wor Horse]

I always end up pissing on the floor or on the back of my pants.

[Fugitive]

You have an impressive knowledge of the various nuances of visiting the toilet.

 

Pissing and shitting is one of the few pleasures I currently have in life.

[Trumo]

haha! Someone rep Fugitive for me. I have to spread it.

 

Do what he does and that will happen naturally.

[Nantwich girl]

Sit down pissing carries risks. You sit there and feel invincible with a sense of 'nothing can go wrong'. You get over-confident and then it happens... you piss through the gap between the bowl and the seat.

 

Wet floor, pissykecks, broken dreams and sense of over-whelming failure... never again.

 

My ex. Had the same problem. He never cleaned it up either! I think it's just one of those things that happens to men with small dicks. They aren't long enough to dangle past the edge of the toilet and thats why it happens. And yes my member is massive blah blah

[Nantwich girl]

Sit down pissing carries risks. You sit there and feel invincible with a sense of 'nothing can go wrong'. You get over-confident and then it happens... you piss through the gap between the bowl and l

[JimmyConway]

I've rearranged the telly in the bedroom so now when I'm going for a shit I can watch the telly from the en-suite,quality.

[Guest ShoePiss]

I've rearranged the telly in the bedroom so now when I'm going for a shit I can watch the telly from the en-suite,quality.

 

Partridge would be impressed.

[Anny Road]

[chauncey]

I suppose you dab as well?

[Trumo]

I suppose you dab as well?

 

Look down. This what you see?

 

Warning! The following content is NOT WORK SAFE. Click the Show button to reveal.

Well?

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Still looking?

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[Red Banjo]

I sit down to piss at home sometimes. See no harm in it personally. If i've had a hard day, and a lot of tea, then why not take the weight off your feet when you perform the evacuation? My missus thinks im a bit odd for doing it but meh, it works for me.

[melons]

I piss sitting down all the time, well unless under sufferance using public toilets, then it's a squat.

 

Anyway, it's nothing to brag about...

[Master Bates]

I always piss standing up. I find it quite difficult to sit on our sink.

[stevebaby]

My mate was having a piss in a pub toilet when a young woman in a miniskirt walked in,stood next to him,then hoicked up the front of her skirt and had a standup piss next to him!

He's been a nervous wreck ever since,and I can understand why.It's against the order of nature.

Women...know your place and squat to piss!

 

 

 

 

PS.Dunno if she dabbed.

[Remmie]

God that feels better. I've been carrying that burden for a while.

 

Thing is, nearly two years ago, we got a new bathroom put in. It was one of those things were the government comes in and equips the bathroom for someone with a disability. Took everything out and replaced it. Bath became stand up shower (with one of them little seats that you can put in if you need it), new sink, new toilet.

 

Thing was, the toilet seat on said toilet doesn't stay up on it's own. Never. I dunno why. At first I would hold it up, but this meant leaning forward and standing in an uncomfortable position. So eventually I gave up. I sat down. We must have all done it at some point, even if it was an accident. You know how you go in expecting twos and suddenly they disappear and you're sitting on the bog just pissing instead?

 

Anyway. I don't care. I stand up other places. But when I'm at home, I sit down to piss. And until we get the seat fixed it will stay that way.

 

Neg all you want you bunch of cunts.

...ladies and gentlemen of this supposed jury, I have one final thing I want you to consider. Ladies and gentlemen, this is Chewbacca.

 

 

Chewbacca is a Wookiee from the planet Kashyyyk. But Chewbacca lives on the planet Endor. Now think about it; that does not make sense!

 

Why would a Wookiee, an 8-foot-tall Wookiee, want to live on Endor, with a bunch of 2-foot-tall Ewoks? That does not make sense! But more important, you have to ask yourself: What does this have to do with this case? Nothing. Ladies and gentlemen, it has nothing to do with this case! It does not make sense! Look at me. I'm a lawyer defending a piss sitting down thundercunt mother hubbard, and I'm talkin' about Chewbacca! Does that make sense? Ladies and gentlemen, I am not making any sense! None of this makes sense! And so you have to remember, when you're in that jury room deliberatin' and conjugatin' the Emancipation Proclamation, does it make sense? No! Ladies and gentlemen of this supposed jury, it does not make sense! If Chewbacca lives on Endor, you must acquit! The defense rests

[Furmedge]

I went back to sone birds house one night after a night out and immediately after slipping her one I went for a piss. Could I fuck find the light so I pissed in the dark, half cut, and couldn't hear the water splash. I couldn't stop mid flow so had to continue before looking for the light. When I found the switch and turned it on I looked down and my aim had been way off and ended up soaking a basket full of toilet rolls.

 

Naturally, I shrugged my shoulders, called a cab and went home for a bag of McCoys.

[The Golden Eel]

Me too... Much more relaxing.

 

Just to summarise:

 

1. I mainly sit down when taking a piss.

2. I've never "dabbed" in my life.

3. I trim my pubes.

4. I look at the shit on the bog roll.

 

Am i gay?