Post from RAWK

[zico]

If true it explains why Torres has been rather moody and sulking since last summer...

[M_B]

Its mostly shite I reckon, mostly.

 

If not then its game over man, game over !

[RoboRiise]

If true it explains why Torres has been rather moody and sulking since last summer...

 

 

The thread's very existence is an example of why I've been moody since last summer...

[RedRoadEnd]

At this moment it looks like the parasitic scum have won. The ventriloquist's dummys want Torres out, Rafa never to come back. And they want some nomark like last yrs Burnley manager to sell off whatever we have left in the squad.

 

You just couldn't make it up.

 

I'm ashamed at how blind/ ignorant/ stupid some of our so-called "fans" ( or rather WUMs and Yank pr employees) actually are.

[Chocoholic]

This was confirmed to me also by a Talksport presenter on New Years Day who I took to work in my job as a chauffeur driver.

 

[Son of L8]

HAHAHA...

 

I had avoided reading this thread because of the title, but I had nothing to do while my tea was cooking in the oven so got stuck into it. The OP is comedy, and the fact that some people are crediting it is hysterical.

 

Really? A chauffer?

 

The things people do for attention on the internet...

 

Thanks for the laughs! Tea's ready.

[Gym Beglin]

All I know is, Carragher will be sorely missed when he eventually leaves.

 

I won't miss a donkey, slow-ass clogger. Sorry lad, love Carra for what he's done, but can't stand the fact he's our best defender.We need pace, end of story, and if we bring in pace then he won't be missed.

Time to fucking move on, man up.

[Gym Beglin]

To move this club on we need to be brave and embrace change.

Carragher and Gerrard have a very short shelf life now, deal with it, this club is bigger than either of them and it's about time the current nouveau fans stopped being such drama queens and let nature take its course.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to watch Robocop.

[razor]

I am wary of 'articles' which say "This here is a door" (and there is a door), "This here is a dog" (and there is a dog"), and "And THEREFORE this here is a man floating in a bubble" (and we all go, 'oh, the first two things were right so this way-out one must be true').

 

In other words because he has a few corroboratable points correct it follows the rest must be true (though, ironically, some people are actually arguing over these points - does Kenny or doesn't Kenny sign autographs!?!).

 

However, for me, there is probably more truth in the points he makes than not. There is a probable credibility, anyway.

 

There may be a slight agenda evident, but I don't think that detracts massively from the possibility that he may be relatively accurate in terms of what happened to Rafa.

 

I didn't like the Gerrard attack, though. He has been our best player for 8 years or so.

 

But the conclusion we can all draw is that generally we are a mess. Bring on the mancs...

 

 

 

 

Incidentally, Dan Brown has made a career out of the door/dog/bubble man theory.

Edited January 8, 2011 by razor

[razor]

I have just re-read my above post and I sound as cryptic as Rafa. Apologies. I know what I meant to say, at least.

 

But, anyway, after extensive research I can exclusively unveil the identity of the wool chauffeur:

 

 

 

 

 

He's ITK alright.

[lucozade]

FWIW I am 100% certain this is made up and made up by someone quite intelligent too. The vocab and sentence structure is completely out of keeping with a chauffeur. Some sentences remind me of transcripts of certain kinds of evidence when they are given in court. The use of well known pre-existing gossip, and some facts, gives credence to the 'new information' that has been added to support a particular agenda.

 

The final and ultimate give away that this is 'bollocks' is how neat and tidy it is how it fits a certain agenda with not one single incident of a contradicting story. Life is not like that. People are not like that. When true stories come out they are messy and confusing and leave you with several "yeah but why did... cos I don't really get" questions.

[Unrighteous]

The above is all true. Or not. Defo one or the other. Or some of one, and a bit of the other. Or none at all of some, and zero of the other. All in all it's good, or bad.

 

Exactly.

[Alan Sex]

I thought all chauffeurs were either cockney or extremely posh, like a butler.

[Dr Arthur De Sabre]

Reina doesn't get any shit because there's nothing at all to give him shit for, ditto Alonso pretty much.

 

Torres, Cole and Johnson have all had shit this season because many of their performances have been up to scratch.

 

Murphy spoke out against the manager after he was sold and accused him of being biased against English players, which he deservedly got stick for.

 

McManaman gets stick because he ran his contract down and fucked off on a Bosman, and is now a shit pundit.

 

It's nothing to do with where they're from. It's to do with them acting like cocks.

 

Spot on there dude, saved us typing the same. Also NWT, yer having a pop at OOT's, but yer down the smoke.. how the fuck does that work??

[goatboy59]

Not sure I like the insinuation that working people can't string a sentence together.

 

It's probably all bollocks but just cos he drives a car for a living......

 

Actually, that's probably the most fake bit!

[lucozade]

Not sure I like the insinuation that working people can't string a sentence together.

 

Are you referring to what I said about the sentence structure? If you are I'll explain what I mean. If not never mind.

[Skidfingers McGonical]

 

Are you referring to what I said about the sentence structure? If you are I'll explain what I mean. If not never mind.

 

If you would Luco, was thinking the same myself.

[lucozade]

Sure. This is what I just sent in a PM to goatboy59 so I'll just post it here too.

 

I work in Wills and Estates. A very junior job but wills are often contested and some of the donkey work I get involved with, that is a little more interesting than most of the deadly boring stuff I do, is that I get to see affidavits of statements the deceased is supposed to have made and other documents relatives claim to have and to find, and I take them to various experts for analysis.

 

There are ways of writing that people who write a lot in their day to day lives, be they in professions that require it or internet warriors etc, have and patterns you observe in people who write much less frequently. There are indicators in the way people write as to age, there are signs, not full proof, as to education level.

 

These posts have been written as if the writer is in a debate. Many of the sentences are structured not to tell a story but to make a case.

The use of structures like he (torres) are not standard written form, this is possibly either someone who is a university graduate and has written many essays or it is someone like myself with some exposure to the legal profession for example.

 

This would be an even longer post if I go through every example, so I suggest you just have a look at the post yourself, you will make up your own mind anyway.

 

I’m not making a comment about chauffeurs as working people or trying to insinuate they are any less intelligent than anyone else. I meant the choice of words and structure is not in keeping with someone who drives for a living and has decided to put all of this out there as a one off. The writing is that of someone who is a fluent writer and used to arguing and making a case in the written rather than spoken form. Imho.

 

When I said the posts were by someone intelligent I can see it read as if I was saying that was why it couldn’t be a chauffeur – sorry that was not my intention. I meant that the person was intelligent only in that they had been quite clever in mixing known facts, rumoured facts, with new info. If you simply put out new info and claim to be connected to the club people will be much more questioning and doubtful. The person behind this has been cunning enough to realise the right mix of the known, the discussed and the new – creates much greater plausibility. Smart.

 

Anyway as I said, it’s my opinion for what it’s worth. Undoubtedly those who want it to be 'gospel' will treat it as such but I'm 100% unconvinced.

[goatboy59]

Fair enough and I apologise for the implication.

[Jack the Sipper]

The whole thing's so shot through with agendas as to make him untrustworthy when it comes to the 'facts'.

 

And for those who say it rings true, it makes sense - well, that's the way with the best lies.

[elvis]

The bit about Gerrard and autographs is 100% true. Depends when you catch him.

 

Incidentally Kenny Dalglish never signs autographs at Anfield. I'm not even sure he signs them at all.

 

Well he does if you find yourself sat next to him on a flight home from Spain.

[silverlining]

I know it's poor form to wish illness or death onto websites (not to mention probably impossible and pointless, as I'm not sure a website can actually contract a disease) but I'd like RAWK to get the bad AIDS and die.

[JohnnyH]

Sure. This is what I just sent in a PM to goatboy59 so I'll just post it here too.

 

I work in Wills and Estates. A very junior job but wills are often contested and some of the donkey work I get involved with, that is a little more interesting than most of the deadly boring stuff I do, is that I get to see affidavits of statements the deceased is supposed to have made and other documents relatives claim to have and to find, and I take them to various experts for analysis.

 

There are ways of writing that people who write a lot in their day to day lives, be they in professions that require it or internet warriors etc, have and patterns you observe in people who write much less frequently. There are indicators in the way people write as to age, there are signs, not full proof, as to education level.

 

These posts have been written as if the writer is in a debate. Many of the sentences are structured not to tell a story but to make a case.

The use of structures like he (torres) are not standard written form, this is possibly either someone who is a university graduate and has written many essays or it is someone like myself with some exposure to the legal profession for example.

 

This would be an even longer post if I go through every example, so I suggest you just have a look at the post yourself, you will make up your own mind anyway.

 

I’m not making a comment about chauffeurs as working people or trying to insinuate they are any less intelligent than anyone else. I meant the choice of words and structure is not in keeping with someone who drives for a living and has decided to put all of this out there as a one off. The writing is that of someone who is a fluent writer and used to arguing and making a case in the written rather than spoken form. Imho.

 

When I said the posts were by someone intelligent I can see it read as if I was saying that was why it couldn’t be a chauffeur – sorry that was not my intention. I meant that the person was intelligent only in that they had been quite clever in mixing known facts, rumoured facts, with new info. If you simply put out new info and claim to be connected to the club people will be much more questioning and doubtful. The person behind this has been cunning enough to realise the right mix of the known, the discussed and the new – creates much greater plausibility. Smart.

 

Anyway as I said, it’s my opinion for what it’s worth. Undoubtedly those who want it to be 'gospel' will treat it as such but I'm 100% unconvinced.

 

Show off.

 

Now put your fucking hat on and drive me home.