What is the maddest thing your bird has done?

[lifetime fan]

Adding the milk first stops the protein in the milk from being destroyed due to hot temperatures and making it taste inferior. That's what a mate once told me and I have to agree it tastes slightly better with milk first. She my not be a nutter after all.

 

Heston Blumenthal says you are talking bollocks.

[Colonol]

who are u going to believe, some michelin star chef known for his innovative dishes with a sensitive pallet or some random lad on a forum. I would choose the latter every time.

[Colonol]

Had an ex who said she'd wrote a song for me and proceeded to sing said song. A couple of weeks later this song was released by Another Level call 'Freak Me'. Weird twat.

 

Did she ever sue them for copyright infringements?

[Trumo]

Had an ex who said she'd wrote a song for me and proceeded to sing said song. A couple of weeks later this song was released by Another Level call 'Freak Me'. Weird twat.

 

Did she ever sue them for copyright infringements?

 

Should just point out it was originally done by Silk in 1992. I'd say the ex definitely qualifies as a nutter, and a flagrant tea-leaf at that.

[Staniola]

Boss thread. I will contribute when I've got more time.

 

Dave, your ex is absolute poison. Congrats on getting rid lad!

[Guest davelfc]

Boss thread. I will contribute when I've got more time.

 

Dave, your ex is absolute poison. Congrats on getting rid lad!

 

Who said I got rid? I've got kids so the link is always there, the loon is just around the corner, waiting to strike, like a dormant volcano.

[Funkasy]

a crazy chick like that must be some of a tank in bed ?

[Scott_M]

I had a barney last night with my Mrs. She tried to rip up my cards and passport, stab me with a broken glass, hit me serval times and then kicked me out in the middle of a blazzard at 11.30pm.

[JagSquared]

I had a barney last night with my Mrs. She tried to rip up my cards and passport, stab me with a broken glass, hit me serval times and then kicked me out in the middle of a blazzard at 11.30pm.

 

Paulie get rid mate no broad is worth that kind of hassle. Other way around and you would be doing time.

[Guest TK-421]

Participated in Movember.

[Staniola]

Paulie get rid mate no broad is worth that kind of hassle. Other way around and you would be doing time.

 

She sounds like a keeper!

 

Participated in Movember.

 

Intentionally?

[lifetime fan]

Some absolute stonking stories here which I cannot even begin to compete with.

 

Probably the thing which pisses me off most about my bird is her total disregard for small details on a food menu. She'll be ordering a dominos and will ask me what I want, and I'll tell her that I would like a Meteor. She then proceeds to tell the feller down the phone that I'd like a "Meaty feast thing". NO WOMAN, NO! Those are two totally different pizzas for fuck sake. Likewise, going through the maccy's drive-thru last night and I tell her to get me a sweet curry dip. Instead, she asks for a sweat chili dip. Why?

 

Colour-coded her clotheshangers.

 

 

 

 

 

True, and the Meateor is the food of the gods. That's a sackable offence, that.

 

Shall be delivered in 10 minutes.

 

You have a lot to answer for fellas.

[Guest ShoePiss]

Ask for my boat as part of the divorce settlement despite it being paid for with the profit of a house sale in the UK before we'd even met.

[lifetime fan]

Shall be delivered in 10 minutes.

 

You have a lot to answer for fellas.

 

Randy Marsh and Mel Wood hang your heads in shame, that pizza was shite.

[Harry Squatter]

My mates ex bird sacked him off to move in with a guy 25 years older than her who lived 3 doors away from my mate, 2 months after this she started shagging my mate behind her new fellas back. As her and my mate had a kid together he was desperate to get back together with her. She got pregnant about 3 months later but said it was the older guy's kid so he was devastated. Later she changed her mind and toild him it was his but kept getting the other guy to wind him up as much as possible.

 

My mate was stupid enough to believe that she still wanted to get back with him and she kept shagging him behind the other guys back, texting and sending picture messages every 5 minutes. She moved into her dads with his kid when she was heavily pregnant but set up a situation by texting my mate asking him to come round when she knew he was bladdered and then wound the other guy up so much he wanted to batter my mate. When my mate came round to her house the other guy tried to batter him and my mate ended up stabbing him 18 times, luckily the guy lived but my mate got 13 years.

 

At the trial she lied under oath about everything she did and said that she only kept shagging my mate because she was "terrified" of him and "wanted to keep the peace"

[Staniola]

My mates ex bird sacked him off to move in with a guy 25 years older than her who lived 3 doors away from my mate, 2 months after this she started shagging my mate behind her new fellas back. As her and my mate had a kid together he was desperate to get back together with her. She got pregnant about 3 months later but said it was the older guy's kid so he was devastated. Later she changed her mind and toild him it was his but kept getting the other guy to wind him up as much as possible.

 

My mate was stupid enough to believe that she still wanted to get back with him and she kept shagging him behind the other guys back, texting and sending picture messages every 5 minutes. She moved into her dads with his kid when she was heavily pregnant but set up a situation by texting my mate asking him to come round when she knew he was bladdered and then wound the other guy up so much he wanted to batter my mate. When my mate came round to her house the other guy tried to batter him and my mate ended up stabbing him 18 times, luckily the guy lived but my mate got 13 years.

 

At the trial she lied under oath about everything she did and said that she only kept shagging my mate because she was "terrified" of him and "wanted to keep the peace"

 

What. The. Fuck???

[Guest davelfc]

My mates ex bird sacked him off to move in with a guy 25 years older than her who lived 3 doors away from my mate, 2 months after this she started shagging my mate behind her new fellas back. As her and my mate had a kid together he was desperate to get back together with her. She got pregnant about 3 months later but said it was the older guy's kid so he was devastated. Later she changed her mind and toild him it was his but kept getting the other guy to wind him up as much as possible.

 

My mate was stupid enough to believe that she still wanted to get back with him and she kept shagging him behind the other guys back, texting and sending picture messages every 5 minutes. She moved into her dads with his kid when she was heavily pregnant but set up a situation by texting my mate asking him to come round when she knew he was bladdered and then wound the other guy up so much he wanted to batter my mate. When my mate came round to her house the other guy tried to batter him and my mate ended up stabbing him 18 times, luckily the guy lived but my mate got 13 years.

 

At the trial she lied under oath about everything she did and said that she only kept shagging my mate because she was "terrified" of him and "wanted to keep the peace"

 

 

Stop it, you're almost making me miss my ex.

[Guest ShoePiss]

My mates ex bird sacked him off to move in with a guy 25 years older than her who lived 3 doors away from my mate, 2 months after this she started shagging my mate behind her new fellas back. As her and my mate had a kid together he was desperate to get back together with her. She got pregnant about 3 months later but said it was the older guy's kid so he was devastated. Later she changed her mind and toild him it was his but kept getting the other guy to wind him up as much as possible.

 

My mate was stupid enough to believe that she still wanted to get back with him and she kept shagging him behind the other guys back, texting and sending picture messages every 5 minutes. She moved into her dads with his kid when she was heavily pregnant but set up a situation by texting my mate asking him to come round when she knew he was bladdered and then wound the other guy up so much he wanted to batter my mate. When my mate came round to her house the other guy tried to batter him and my mate ended up stabbing him 18 times, luckily the guy lived but my mate got 13 years.

 

At the trial she lied under oath about everything she did and said that she only kept shagging my mate because she was "terrified" of him and "wanted to keep the peace"

 

I hope he serves every one of those 13 years, should have got more.

[Guest TesticleOReilly]

My mates ex bird sacked him off to move in with a guy 25 years older than her who lived 3 doors away from my mate, 2 months after this she started shagging my mate behind her new fellas back. As her and my mate had a kid together he was desperate to get back together with her. She got pregnant about 3 months later but said it was the older guy's kid so he was devastated. Later she changed her mind and toild him it was his but kept getting the other guy to wind him up as much as possible.

 

My mate was stupid enough to believe that she still wanted to get back with him and she kept shagging him behind the other guys back, texting and sending picture messages every 5 minutes. She moved into her dads with his kid when she was heavily pregnant but set up a situation by texting my mate asking him to come round when she knew he was bladdered and then wound the other guy up so much he wanted to batter my mate. When my mate came round to her house the other guy tried to batter him and my mate ended up stabbing him 18 times, luckily the guy lived but my mate got 13 years.

 

At the trial she lied under oath about everything she did and said that she only kept shagging my mate because she was "terrified" of him and "wanted to keep the peace"

 

Don't mean to be a twat here, but once or twice is understandable, in self defence, maybe a couple more times in rage. Stabbed him 18 fuckin' times? You're not telling the whole story. Stabbed someone 18 times and it was all the bird's fault. Aye.

[Guest ShoePiss]

Don't mean to be a twat here, but once or twice is understandable, in self defence, maybe a couple more times in rage. Stabbed him 18 fuckin' times? You're not telling the whole story. Stabbed someone 18 times and it was all the bird's fault. Aye.

 

That's where I'm coming from...

[Guest TesticleOReilly]

That's where I'm coming from...

 

And he just slips it in like it's background info. Yeah, he stabbed him 18 times, but the guy lived and he's now got a job as a sieve, so every cloud an' all that.

[Anubis]

What was he doing with a knife?

[Jennings]

Stop it, you're almost making me miss my ex.

 

There simply isn't enough rep inthe world for DaveLFC. I'm all out. Pissed my pants.

[Harry Squatter]

Ok, first of all, I'm not defending my mate just simply because he's my friend, he did a ridiculously stupid thing that could have ended someone's life and he quite rightly went to prison. He knows that he could have ended up getting longer.

 

I am just saying that it was her constant lies, manipulation and exploitation od two men's feelings that ultimately led to the situation. She constantly played both off against each other and loved the power and attention that went with it. She would basically sleep with one then badmouth the man she slept with to the other. The older guy broke into my mates house at 4am one morning and kicked the shit out of him because she'd made a story up about my mate. This went on for 18 months until teh incident in question.

 

No one knows what happened with the knife but it had both persons fingerprints on it and my mate had 6 slash marks on his arm. He was convicted due to the end result of him stabbing the other guy. Like I said I dont condone what he did but it was her playing with 2 mens emotions that led to it.

[manwiththestick]

Sounds like a game bird, don't suppose you have her number do you?