What is the maddest thing your bird has done?

[RobbieOR]

Is that the bird you and Ngog keep tweeting, Rich?

[Mathewbet1]

Stuck a 16'' fanny hammer in her fanny. She got it mail order.

[Joe Le Taxi]

That bird Remmie posted is fit as fuck.

 

Played Bitch, played...

[WaltonRed]

Mrs Bitch would get it

[taliesin08]

Swerve scouse birds full stop, in my experience they are born with the Jeremy Kyle gene. Therefore ensuring they are all loons, out of towners are well the best.

[Sugar Ape]

I'd been looking forward to a trip to New York with the missus for ages, never been before you see, I told everyone I knew I was going and then she jibbed me just before we were due to go. It had all been paid for by her dad as well.

 

Oh, and she had a cock also, but that didn't upset me as much as the New York trip being cancelled. * sobs *

[Joe Le Taxi]

Is this her Sugar Ape:

 

[Sugar Ape]

Is this her Sugar Ape:

 

 

Yes. How could she be so cruel.

 

She also said she was 30 knocking 27 years off her actual age, amongst other things. Heartless bitch.

[Guest davelfc]

Yes. How could she be so cruel.

 

She also said she was 30 knocking 27 years off her actual age, amongst other things. Heartless bitch.

 

Bet she cooks a mean pot noodle at her mums though.

[Sugar Ape]

Bet she cooks a mean pot noodle at her mums though.

 

She does. Though ever since her mum and dad told her the day before her 21st birthday they were splitting up, her relationship with her mum wasn't the same. Would you believe her mum had been cheating on her dad for years? Caused endless arguments it did.

[Guest davelfc]

She does. Though ever since her mum and dad told her the day before her 21st birthday they were splitting up, her relationship with her mum wasn't the same. Would you believe her mum had been cheating on her dad for years? Caused endless arguments it did.

 

I bet she told him after their holiday to New York, after all she didn't want to miss out on that. The mad things birds do eh?

 

But wasn't it her 31st birthday?

[TheBitch]

Is that the bird you and Ngog keep tweeting, Rich?

 

No mate. You better ask Jay about her.

[TheBitch]

That bird Remmie posted is fit as fuck.

 

Played Bitch, played...

 

Mrs Bitch would get it

 

But mental. Seriously.

 

I should ignore but keep getting drawn in.

 

I'll report back Monday with tales of mentalness. Or maybe during the weekend.

[Juniper]

That bird Remmie posted is fit as fuck.

 

Played Bitch, played...

 

She's got her eyes closed though, how can you tell a bird is fit if she has her eyes closed? It's Like saying a bird with a massive hat has a nice face, you simply can't tell can you. It's not possible until you see the full picture.

 

She might have gamy eyes or even no eyes, I which case i'd say TheBitch is taking advantage of a blind woman for his own sexual gain and is probably pocketing her loose change at every opportunity.

 

Fuck you Bitch, you advantage taking motherfucker.

[TheBitch]

 

She's got her eyes closed though, how can you tell a bird is fit if she has her eyes closed? It's Like saying a bird with a massive hat has a nice face, you simply can't tell can you. It's not possible until you see the full picture.

 

She might have gamy eyes or even no eyes, I which case i'd say rich is taking advantage of a blind woman for his own sexual gain and is probably pocketing her loose change at every opportunity.

 

Fuck you Rich, you advantage taking motherfucker.

 

She has eyes that would send a mere mortal under.

[Juniper]

 

She has eyes that would send a mere mortal under.

 

I demand to see these eyes.

 

I demand!!!!

[TheBitch]

 

I demand to see these eyes.

 

I demand!!!!

 

I'll see what I can do.

 

The mental has just text me this.....

 

Do you have many ladies on the go? Twitter would suggest you have a few. X

 

And this

 

Your a very flirty man dear Rich - infact its making me a tad bit jealous that all these twitter whores get twitter attention. X

 

I'm going to get stabbed aren't I?

[Sugar Ape]

I'll see what I can do.

 

The mental has just text me this.....

 

 

 

And this

 

 

 

I'm going to get stabbed aren't I?

 

Not if you stab her first.

[Wor Horse]

She's mental.

 

If I remember rightly she once said to me she didn't let Rich bum her or something.

 

 

 

On twitter

 

 

 

In a conversation tagged with about 6 people.

[Juniper]

 

I'll see what I can do.

 

The mental has just text me this.....

 

And this

 

I'm going to get stabbed aren't I?

 

Text her back saying there's a guy on the internet who really wants to see her pupils.

 

If she's texts you a photo to upload then she's definitely a mentalist who will stab you at the earliest possible possibility.

 

I'm trying to save you a bumming here.

[TheBitch]

She's mental.

 

If I remember rightly she once said to me she didn't let Rich bum her or something.

 

On twitter

 

In a conversation tagged with about 6 people.

 

Nah mate. That was another one. That was my Hayley. She was/is mental. Properly. Slapped me in the pub the other week.

 

But that conversation with her was nuts. I didn't know what to say or do.

[Wor Horse]

You're going to have to number these mental cases you've been shagging....

 

Numbers 54 and 55 there...

[dennis tooth]

I had an ex who had studied psychology. We got into a row because I was listening to "The Sun Aint Gonna Shine Anymore" by Scott Walker and I happened to comment that in my view this was one of the greatest vocal performances of all time. She took it on herself to advise me that I was clinically depressed. After a couple of hours I took it on myself to tell her she was fired.

 

Great post,

 

I could put a few stories on here but think it best not..........yet.

[dennis tooth]

She once said "why don't you make more effort? Suprise me now and then" Well i can take a hint. The next day, as she comes in from work, quick as a flash I jumped up and twatted her round the head with a pan. Boy was she suprised! It worked though, moments later she was bent over the sofa and I was nut deep up her arse- something she would never consider when she was conscious. Women, they might seem mad, but maybe we just need to listen.

 

LEG!

[dennis tooth]

Stole my passport

 

Stole my mobile phone.

 

One night she threw all my clothes out on to the road, smashed all of my after shaves and because one of my mates wives said a shirt suited me she ripped it up.

 

Attacked me with a cordless phone, smashed it on my head, no reason.

 

Again, no reason attacked me and scarred my chest.

 

In front of friends smashed a video cassette on my head.

 

Phoned all of my friends and told them the little things to tell your partners about your mates that they are not supposed to repeat.

 

Introduced my kids to my 'father' who I have not seen since I was 5 and contributed nothing.

 

When I moved out, used the hourly paid movers to clear out the loft of rubbish (she put it all in black bags and said it was my stuff) and with cups of tea etc took them two hours longer. I had to hire another van to move the rubbish.

 

Told my family and everyone that would listen that I beat her and my kids!

 

Ran a key over my car.

 

 

 

There's more, a lot more and a lot nastier but I prefer to forget a lot of it. Even thinking of that lot has annoyed me. I can only hope karma bites her hard on the arse. At least she never made the beans touch the egg on a breakfast, that's some crazy shot right there.

 

DONT YOU MEAN RAN OVER YOUR KEY WITH A CAR?