Neighbours, everybody needs good neighbours...

[Pete]

3 hours ago, A Red said:

Our tight arsed mean spirited git of a neighbour that is moving to Turkey is in a right dilemma. He wont allow the people buying his place to come round and measure up or even visit just to ask basic questions, he just wont meet them and insists everything is done through the solicitors. He is now offended because their solicitors are asking all sorts of questions despite the fact that that is what they are paid to do.

 

Anyway, we are not on mains gas here and most houses have oil tanks. He has asked that the new people pay him for whatever oil is left in the tank when he leaves and they have basically told him to fuck off. He is now trying to get anyone who he can find to buy the oil off him, we and others have all turned him down. He's adamant the new people arent getting it so is trying to find away to drain the tank in to containers. He also has a wood burner and has loads of wood in his garage that he is looking to offload without any success.

 

The entitled cunt is now in a permanent bad mood and is threatening to pull out of the sale despite the fact that completion is 22nd August and he has flights booked to go out to Turkey on the 24th. All over a couple of hundred quids worth of oil when he is selling his house having made £150K profit in less than 18 months. 

He sounds like a Cunt 

[VladimirIlyich]

16 hours ago, A Red said:

Our tight arsed mean spirited git of a neighbour that is moving to Turkey is in a right dilemma. He wont allow the people buying his place to come round and measure up or even visit just to ask basic questions, he just wont meet them and insists everything is done through the solicitors. He is now offended because their solicitors are asking all sorts of questions despite the fact that that is what they are paid to do.

 

Anyway, we are not on mains gas here and most houses have oil tanks. He has asked that the new people pay him for whatever oil is left in the tank when he leaves and they have basically told him to fuck off. He is now trying to get anyone who he can find to buy the oil off him, we and others have all turned him down. He's adamant the new people arent getting it so is trying to find away to drain the tank in to containers. He also has a wood burner and has loads of wood in his garage that he is looking to offload without any success.

 

The entitled cunt is now in a permanent bad mood and is threatening to pull out of the sale despite the fact that completion is 22nd August and he has flights booked to go out to Turkey on the 24th. All over a couple of hundred quids worth of oil when he is selling his house having made £150K profit in less than 18 months. 

I'm still moving!

[Anubis]

On 09/01/2022 at 18:32, Clem H Fandango said:

Rudely awaken this morning by our neighbours that have separated having a row on our drive. Seeing as we have a 2 car driveway, we kindly let them use the drive for visitors etc. 

This does not mean they can air their dirty laundry on my drive. I sent her a message telling her to 'stop arguing on my drive in front of my living room'. The response I got back was 'I told him to stop shouting'.

I couldn't give 2 fucks who started the argument, just don't do it on my property. Adults behaving and acting like children.

So  you have her mobile number but not his, and they’ve separated. Just saying…

[Anubis]

18 hours ago, A Red said:

Our tight arsed mean spirited git of a neighbour that is moving to Turkey is in a right dilemma. He wont allow the people buying his place to come round and measure up or even visit just to ask basic questions, he just wont meet them and insists everything is done through the solicitors. He is now offended because their solicitors are asking all sorts of questions despite the fact that that is what they are paid to do.

 

Anyway, we are not on mains gas here and most houses have oil tanks. He has asked that the new people pay him for whatever oil is left in the tank when he leaves and they have basically told him to fuck off. He is now trying to get anyone who he can find to buy the oil off him, we and others have all turned him down. He's adamant the new people arent getting it so is trying to find away to drain the tank in to containers. He also has a wood burner and has loads of wood in his garage that he is looking to offload without any success.

 

The entitled cunt is now in a permanent bad mood and is threatening to pull out of the sale despite the fact that completion is 22nd August and he has flights booked to go out to Turkey on the 24th. All over a couple of hundred quids worth of oil when he is selling his house having made £150K profit in less than 18 months. 

I think he might find pulling out after exchange of contracts may be a tad more costly than the oil.

[A Red]

1 hour ago, Anubis said:

I think he might find pulling out after exchange of contracts may be a tad more costly than the oil.

Exactly, but that's his way of dealing with things. All bluster.

 

Anyway he bought an 800 litre container ready to sell it on and filled it up but realised he still had some oil left in the tank. He came round and offered it to us for free because he doesn't want the new people to have a drop and if they had no hot water and to wait 2 weeks for a delivery, all the better. I turned him down, no way did I want to talk to the new people knowing full well the reason they had no oil was because we fucking had it.

 

I really hope that karma bites the mean minded twat on the arse.

[bossy]

1 hour ago, A Red said:

Exactly, but that's his way of dealing with things. All bluster.

 

Anyway he bought an 800 litre container ready to sell it on and filled it up but realised he still had some oil left in the tank. He came round and offered it to us for free because he doesn't want the new people to have a drop and if they had no hot water and to wait 2 weeks for a delivery, all the better. I turned him down, no way did I want to talk to the new people knowing full well the reason they had no oil was because we fucking had it.

 

I really hope that karma bites the mean minded twat on the arse.

Can you take it for free and just give it to them?

[A Red]

5 minutes ago, bossy said:

Can you take it for free and just give it to them?

Not really, it has to be pumped from their tank to ours and then it would need to be pumped back, he's got a pump and I haven't.

[bossy]

Just now, A Red said:

Not really, it has to be pumped from their tank to ours and then it would need to be pumped back, he's got a pump and I haven't.

Fair dos. What a twat he is.

[Harry's Lad]

On 13/08/2022 at 11:26, Harry's Lad said:

The house next door ended up being bought by a Romanian couple with two kids after the private landlord pulled out of the sale.

They've gutted the place and are busy sorting it out, so loads of banging and sawing until about 9:30 at night, but you can't make an omelette without breaking eggs and it shouldn't be for too long.

 

She seems lovely as does the little girl, he's a bit of a misery arse and the little lad is going to be a pain in the arse by the look of it with Mrs HL  catching him trying to prise the capping off our fence yesterday. Typical lad.

 

The other house is still council and my Grandson's mum got it and is moving in this weekend, so all in all it's turned out pretty well.

It seems that not only is our new next door neighbour a misery arse, he's also an ignorant bastard to boot.

 

A few times now I've raised my hand  in acknowledgement to him only to get blanked when he's definitely seen me so that's stopped, and this morning, being a good neighbour, Mrs HL took a parcel in for them.

 

He returned home about 20 minutes later while she was in the shower and getting herself ready to go shopping.

He didn't come round for it so she took it there while I was getting in the car.

 

She knocks on the door, he answers wearing these big silver headphones ( he's got silver grey hair as well so looked like one of the Cybermen), she says this was delivered for you, he takes it, grunts then shuts the door in her face.

She said he didn't even look at her.

 

How fucking ignorant is that? No need whatsoever.

She's blazing so that's it, no more.

 

To top it all, just to make things worse, he was wearing a T shirt with the crest of the unmentionable club from Salford we all hate on it.

Cunt.

 

 

 

 

 

[Captain Howdy]

1 hour ago, Harry's Lad said:

It seems that not only is our new next door neighbour a misery arse, he's also an ignorant bastard to boot.

 

A few times now I've raised my hand  in acknowledgement to him only to get blanked when he's definitely seen me so that's stopped, and this morning, being a good neighbour, Mrs HL took a parcel in for them.

 

He returned home about 20 minutes later while she was in the shower and getting herself ready to go shopping.

He didn't come round for it so she took it there while I was getting in the car.

 

She knocks on the door, he answers wearing these big silver headphones ( he's got silver grey hair as well so looked like one of the Cybermen), she says this was delivered for you, he takes it, grunts then shuts the door in her face.

She said he didn't even look at her.

 

How fucking ignorant is that? No need whatsoever.

She's blazing so that's it, no more.

 

To top it all, just to make things worse, he was wearing a T shirt with the crest of the unmentionable club from Salford we all hate on it.

Cunt.

 

 

 

 

 

Don’t mean to come across as negative mate but by the sounds of it I think you’re going to end up having problems with him. Hope not like

[Harry's Lad]

7 minutes ago, Captain Howdy said:

Don’t mean to come across as negative mate but by the sounds of it I think you’re going to end up having problems with him. Hope not like

It's not the best start is it.

 

Although we do talk to neighbours and are friendly with them, take parcels in etc we tend to keep ourselves to ourselves really as do most of our other neighbours. 

 

Like I've said in an earlier post, she seems nice, but there's really no need for his attitude. If you don't want to mix fine, it's not our thing either, but common courtesy costs nothing.

 

There's one neighbour who is a bit loud and considers herself the hub of everything here and isn't backwards in coming forwards so it might get interesting.

 

As for me, my fighting days are over and I just want a peaceful easy life so this is leaving a nasty taste I don't want or need.

 

There's always something.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Captain Turdseye]

Apparently the girl next door messaged my bird this afternoon to say they were having a little Halloween party tonight and to apologise in advance for any noise. Sound. No bother. Ta for the heads up. It’s not the first time. 
 

We’re not the quietest of families ourselves. I like properly loud music when I’m tidying or doing shit round the house and I don’t bother texting them. We’re forever shouting up and down the stairs to each other, etc. Sometimes the neighbours four or five doors down know when Liverpool are playing because of the screaming that comes from me and the boy. 
 

Funnily enough, coincidentally I’m sure, my bird had gone to bed and taken the knock before the game had finished tonight and the tunes and shouting from next door didn’t start until about 10:15. I’ve got no problem with that, the youngest managed to drop off to sleep easy enough. It’s all good, right?
 

Wrong. For the last half hour there’s been some absolute cunt in their back garden bouncing a basketball around. It sounds way, way, louder and much more annoying than any music or singing that’s been going on. I’m gonna go spare in a minute. They haven’t even got a hoop, FFS. 

[Captain Turdseye]

On 18/07/2010 at 22:15, Guest Pistonbroke said:

Before we moved into our new house we had a right shitty family living in a house below us. Big fat alcoholic drug dependant ugly slapper and two skanky daughters and a gob shite son. They would have blokes knocking on their door at 2am in the morning screaming out that they wanted a fuck etc. Lost me rag and chucked one of them down the stairs one evening and when the son jumped on my back i slapped him about as well. German police turned up and had a beer with me before saying they had to press charges. But i showed them a black eye ( got the missus to whack me one ) i had and pressed charges of my own. Funnily enough they dropped the charges being as they all had a criminal record as long as you can get and i was squeaky clean. A few days later however three burly guys were knocking at my door and said they would be back the next night and every night after that until i answered. Phoned my mate up who is in the Outlaws biker club and invited a few of his mates around for a crate of beer the next evening. Sure enough these three burly blokes knocked on my door again, they got the shock of their lives. No more trouble from the skanky family and their friends after that.

I don’t even know where to start with this post. Astounding levels of bullshit. 
 

On 17/03/2021 at 17:05, Captain Turdseye said:

My bird’s ma and da live over the road. They’re looking at houses because they want “somewhere we can retire to”

 

If you’d have asked me a year or two ago I’d have been delighted and would be frantically sending them suggestions on RightMove. I’d have probably offered to give her ma a piggyback to wherever it was they were moving to, just to see the back of her. Now though, I’m redoing my living room imminently and I need her dad to do all the DIY because I’m fucking shit. Not to mention summer coming up (he does a great BBQ) and lockdown ending means I can palm Turdsette off on them at a moment’s notice. 
 

Never thought I’d say this but I’m gonna be sad to see her go. 

 

These have spent thousands, and I mean fucking thousands, redoing their back garden this year. Total landscape renovations, new walls, fences, paving, lawn, new summer house, all new garden furniture, etc. They ain’t going anywhere after all that hassle. 

 

I’m looking at many more boss BBQ’s and lots of free childcare. 
 

She’s still a humongous cunt though. 

[Bjornebye]

On 08/10/2022 at 12:47, Harry's Lad said:

It seems that not only is our new next door neighbour a misery arse, he's also an ignorant bastard to boot.

 

A few times now I've raised my hand  in acknowledgement to him only to get blanked when he's definitely seen me so that's stopped, and this morning, being a good neighbour, Mrs HL took a parcel in for them.

 

He returned home about 20 minutes later while she was in the shower and getting herself ready to go shopping.

He didn't come round for it so she took it there while I was getting in the car.

 

She knocks on the door, he answers wearing these big silver headphones ( he's got silver grey hair as well so looked like one of the Cybermen), she says this was delivered for you, he takes it, grunts then shuts the door in her face.

She said he didn't even look at her.

 

How fucking ignorant is that? No need whatsoever.

She's blazing so that's it, no more.

 

To top it all, just to make things worse, he was wearing a T shirt with the crest of the unmentionable club from Salford we all hate on it.

Cunt.

 

 

 

 

 

Two options here H. 

 

Play hard to get... don't acknowledge him next time you see him. Keep his parcels. 

 

Secondly, dog shit through the letterbox with a note "I've got your parcel you manc cunt if you want it come and get it but a smile would be nice if not I'll shove your headphones up your gary glitter you weirdo" I'd advise you to write the note before you stick it to the shit otherwise it will be full of holes and you'll look like the weirdo. 

[Clem H Fandango]

5 hours ago, Captain Turdseye said:

Wrong. For the last half hour there’s been some absolute cunt in their back garden bouncing a basketball around. It sounds way, way, louder and much more annoying than any music or singing that’s been going on. I’m gonna go spare in a minute. They haven’t even got a hoop, FFS. 

I get the chubby kids around here bouncing a football on concrete all day long in the holidays and on weekends. It is the worst mind torture. I wouldn't mind if they actually had the potential to be good players but they are really shit.

Have had that ball come into my garden constantly and they just help themselves to it instead of politely asking.

So, I now have a frequency generator app linked to a Bluetooth speaker that emits an ear piercing sound only audible to chubby kids.

 

[VladimirIlyich]

1 hour ago, Clem H Fandango said:

I get the chubby kids around here bouncing a football on concrete all day long in the holidays and on weekends. It is the worst mind torture. I wouldn't mind if they actually had the potential to be good players but they are really shit.

Have had that ball come into my garden constantly and they just help themselves to it instead of politely asking.

So, I now have a frequency generator app linked to a Bluetooth speaker that emits an ear piercing sound only audible to chubby kids.

 

Sounds like they need a mars bar in distress noise emitter as that would teach them!

PS,thanks for calling me chubby instead of fat!

[Captain Willard]

On 30/10/2022 at 05:23, Clem H Fandango said:

I get the chubby kids around here bouncing a football on concrete all day long in the holidays and on weekends. It is the worst mind torture. I wouldn't mind if they actually had the potential to be good players but they are really shit.

Have had that ball come into my garden constantly and they just help themselves to it instead of politely asking.

So, I now have a frequency generator app linked to a Bluetooth speaker that emits an ear piercing sound only audible to chubby kids.

 

We live near a basketball court much frequented by the local teens and there seems to be some sort of by law that says you have to bounce your ball as you walk to and from the court. Never see anybody carrying one. 

[Harry's Lad]

On 30/10/2022 at 01:36, Bjornebye said:

Two options here H. 

 

Play hard to get... don't acknowledge him next time you see him. Keep his parcels. 

 

Secondly, dog shit through the letterbox with a note "I've got your parcel you manc cunt if you want it come and get it but a smile would be nice if not I'll shove your headphones up your gary glitter you weirdo" I'd advise you to write the note before you stick it to the shit otherwise it will be full of holes and you'll look like the weirdo. 

I hardly ever see the ignorant gobshite tbh which suits me fine.

He was in earlier because I heard him hammering and using a circular saw so I decided to give my amp a bit of exercise and treated him to Never Mind the Bollocks.

[Rico1304]

On 30/10/2022 at 01:18, Captain Turdseye said:

I don’t even know where to start with this post. Astounding levels of bullshit. 
 

 

These have spent thousands, and I mean fucking thousands, redoing their back garden this year. Total landscape renovations, new walls, fences, paving, lawn, new summer house, all new garden furniture, etc. They ain’t going anywhere after all that hassle. 

 

I’m looking at many more boss BBQ’s and lots of free childcare. 
 

She’s still a humongous cunt though. 

Strange man.  

[Carvalho Diablo]

I'd rather hoped this thread was about Ray Shoesmith moving into Ramsey Street.

[Grinch]

I’m going to do the neighbours a favour and take the gate off for them.  Since they’ve no intention of ever closing it in the winter, causing constant banging, I’m sure they’ll be glad.

[TheHowieLama]

14 minutes ago, Grinch said:

I’m going to do the neighbours a favour and take the gate off for them.  Since they’ve no intention of ever closing it in the winter, causing constant banging, I’m sure they’ll be glad.

A zip tie and a can of soup will learn em. Way easier as well.

[A Red]

2 hours ago, Rico1304 said:

Strange man.  

I've read it 4 times, it just gets better and better

[AngryOfTuebrook]

On 08/10/2022 at 12:47, Harry's Lad said:

She knocks on the door, he answers wearing these big silver headphones ( he's got silver grey hair as well so looked like one of the Cybermen), she says this was delivered for you, he takes it, grunts then shuts the door in her face.

She said he didn't even look at her.

 

 

To top it all, just to make things worse, he was wearing a T shirt with the crest of the unmentionable club from Salford we all hate on it.

Cunt.

 

Cybermanc.

[Paulie Dangerously]

My daughter plays with a girl over the road. The family moved from Bolton about a year ago, English isn't the parents first language. It's apparent there is zero discipline of the two kids in the house as they're cheeky as fuck but relatively harmless - or so I thought. 

 

The other week the girl knocked for my daughter who was in the bath so I said I'd send her out when she was done. Knocked again about 5 minutes later as she's hanging around. And again. I said to go back to her house and I'd get my daughter to knock when she is ready. 

 

So they go out and play and 10 minutes later the misses calls me out because someone had scratched and circled my daughter's name (misspelled) into the bonnet of our car. We ask kidD if she did it or knows how it happened but she said she didn't. The Mrs knocks on their door and tells the mum what has happened in a non confrontational way, she comes over and declares "it's not her writing" without even asking her kid if she did it - which she blatantly did. She tried too discuss it but the mum just shut down and went back to the house saying she didn't understand what MrsD was saying anymore. 

 

We don't have a ring doorbell or anything so we can't prove it but it can't have been anyone else. In an awkward situation now where I'm pissed off as fuck at the family as ultimately I'm going to have to pay to get that sorted out, but my daughter still wants to play out with the vandals. We've managed to put her off by the weather, we've been away on holiday etc. Done my head in.